Code Geass Fan Fiction

Madness

By Kraven Ergeist

He'd lost something in the time she'd known him. She'd admired him for the spark she'd seen when she first laid eyes on him, and now…

Now, something inside him had broken.

He'd taken the first steps down the inevitable path that Mao had gone. Losing control of the Power of the King, Lelouch had recoiled even further behind his mask.

Now, it was as if Lelouch was no longer there. It was as if he'd left that identity behind, and transgressed fully into his own alter ego.

Zero. Nothing. Emptiness.

No. This wouldn't do. CC had her hopes that he'd be able to overcome the sacrifices he'd have to endure. But after so long, he was starting to waver. And after this latest development…

"Lelouch…" she softly called his name as he tossed his helmet onto the bed in his personal quarters.

Lelouch had long grown accustomed to the mysterious girl going where she pleased, and was not surprised to see her in his room. "What is it?"

"You realize that the worst has yet to come?" CC intoned gravely. "Right now, as much hatred as you feel, as much guilt weighs on your shoulders, as dark as it seems…it's only going to get worse."

Lelouch closed his eyes. It had obviously occurred to him, but the stark reality of the situation weighed heavily on him having it put into words.

"Not much I can do besides move forward," he said, sitting down on the bed. "It's too late for me to change course."

"That's exactly what Mao said," CC warned. "Before he slipped into madness."

"And madness may come and claim me!" Lelouch barked, angrily. "But not before I've achieved my goals." He fixed his red gaze on her yellow eyes. "Make no mistake, CC. I will liberate Japan. And I will fulfill our contract. I'll make it through to the end, even if it kills me…"

"In the end…" CC stared unhappily at him. "It may be me who has to kill you."

Lelouch found himself smiling. "I hope so…it will only mean that I've succeeded."

CC shook her head. "Have you no consideration for your own well being? Your comrades…your family…your sister will all mourn you."

"They'll mourn for Lelouch," he fell back, letting his head hit the pillow of his bunk. "But Lelouch will eventually be forgotten. Zero…his name will live on. His name will be the stuff of legend that they talk about for generations to come."

CC still hadn't moved. "I didn't make my contract will Zero. I made it with Lelouch."

"In case you haven't noticed, we're the same person."

Finally CC moved, sitting down on the bed next to him. "No, you're decidedly not."

Lelouch fixed her with a questioning gaze, which to anyone else would appear alien with his Geass permanently glaring back at her.

"Zero is a cold, ruthless tactical dictator who aspires to liberate his people," CC explained. "But Lelouch is an intelligent high school student who everybody admires and respects."

Lelouch sighed, closing his eyes. "We're the same person, CC."

CC placed her hands on his shoulders. "Not anymore. Not after what's just happened. Do you think you can possibly face your friends anymore, now that you've lost control of the Geass? A single misspoken word, the slightest hint of a command, and anyone you look at will obey whether you want them to or not!"

He just shook his head. "You don't think I know that?"

"The people you've hurt…killed…how do you think they'll react when they learn that their friend was responsible for the massacre caused by your petty vendetta?"

"Shut up!" Lelouch growled. "Do you think I haven't already considered what's happened? Do you think I'm not dealing with it right now? Do you think it's not tearing me up inside to have to leave it all behind!?" He rolled over, looking away from her. "I made a choice. And that choice has cost me…and everyone…but it will be meaningless if I don't see it through to the end."

CC reached out to him, and hesitated. This was all too familiar. Her chosen subject, writhing in grief at the consequences of the actions brought on by their Geass. In a way, she couldn't help but feel responsible. Every subject she'd chosen for the Geass had been the same. They'd take hold of the reigns and bask in the glory, until it grew too great for them to handle, and they crumpled under the weight. And then, it was all a matter of how much affection it took to coax them back into action.

She wasn't fickle. Deep down, she really did care for those she adopted. She'd been in love with Mao. And despite her sincerest efforts, she was falling for Lelouch. But she knew it would all end the same. Just as he predicted – he would fall into madness. And whatever love she chose to display would only delay the inevitable. In actuality, it would only make it more painful when the end came.

But she had confidence in this one. This one would fulfill their contract. Lelouch understood the situation. He knew full well what this curse would ultimately do to him. But he had an objective to meet first, and he would achieve it. And in doing so, he would fulfill hers as well. So, let it be a passing fancy, she still felt drawn to him, obliged to care and protect him. If her predictions were true, then this would be her last.

And she was determined to make it so.

"Lelouch…" she took hold of his shoulder, stroking it warmly. "I'm worried about you. The mental stress is getting to you – it might affect your judgment."

"I'm fine," he tried shrugging her off. "You know me. A good night's sleep, and I'll be right as rain."

"I wasn't suggesting otherwise…" she purred, stringing her arms around him as she coiled around his lithe frame.

She could feel him tighten at her intrusion, groaning arduously. "Leave me be. It's hard enough to deal with this situation without you making things more complicated."

"It's not complicated," she said plainly. "It's quite simple. I'm easing the stress on your shoulders."

"By trying to appeal to my physical senses?" Lelouch laughed. "I honestly thought your opinion of me was higher than that."

CC beamed at the challenge, her hands rubbing circles around his stomach. "You're a remarkable man, Lelouch. But you're no more than that, either." She giggled, licking the back of his ear. "And all men have their breaking points. Shall we find out what yours is?"

"Keep that up," he warned. "And I'm pitching our frozen pizza supply off at the very next stop we come to."

"You assume I'll be allowing you," she countered, fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. "I can tell that I'm having an effect."

Lelouch hissed as her fingers found their way to the soft flesh of his abdomen. "CC…I refuse to let you turn me into one of your little playthings…"

"Silly Lelouch…" she breathed a hot swathe into his ear and his whole body shook. "You've been my plaything since the day we met…"

He winced as her fingers continued to dance about his exposed skin. "CC…please, stop…"

"No," she said firmly. "You're on the verge of breaking, Lelouch. There's too much at stake, for both of us, for you to take that kind of risk. If I can take your mind off of things for even ten minutes, then that'll be enough."

Lelouch turned his head to stare back at her with helpless eyes. "I had hoped that you'd have a bit more confidence in me than that."

CC smiled. "You assume I'm only doing this is for your sake?"

Lelouch said nothing as she leaned forward to kiss him.

"CC…"

"Stop struggling," she commanded, turning him over on the bed so that she could pin him on his back. "You're a human being. Act like one."

"And what does that make you?" Lelouch grunted from beneath her mocking visage.

She grinned like a cat, before yanking his shirt all the way off. "What do you want me to be?"

He grabbed her by the shoulders, inhibiting her progress. "All I want is an aide and a confidante in this crazy war game I've gotten into."

She smiled back at him, warmth in her eyes. "I can do that. But in return, I need you to do something for me."

"And what's that?"

CC latched onto his ear, teething on the tender skin.

"I want you fulfill the request I made when you learned my real name."

Lelouch seemed to deflate. He was exhausted. Defeated. But not by the Geass. Not by Britannia or the war. Not by his family or friends. But by her. And that would do. He could descend into the very bowels of hell, and survive long enough for her to drive the final nail in his coffin, so long as she was there with him.

He could outlast every child she'd ever doomed with this gift. He could set her on fire in a way that no other could. He could single handedly change the world. So long as she was there with him.

And as he finally granted her wish, breathing silent harmony into her ears, filling her world with ecstasy, he tumbled into the very throes of madness.

So long as she was there with him.