And what exactly do you people think Light is doing to Matt?? Some people are just so perverted these days…like me….Evil Laugh!!!
Defenestrate
"What are you doing to Matt!?" Mello screamed and burst into the little hospital room.
"What are you talking about?" Mikami asked from the bed.
"Hey Matt, got any threes?" Light asked.
"Go Fish!" Matt smirked. L, Near and Mello just stared in amazement.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Mello yelled at Matt.
"Winning Go Fish."
"How can you be so calm around the enemy?" Matt looked around.
"You mean them?" Matt pointed at Light and Mikami.
"Well, yeah."
"Easy. They suck at cards. They are no threat to…." And this is when Mello smacks Matt upside the head. "OW!" Matt hit Mello back in retaliation.
"OW!" Then they got into a catfight and hit each other some more.
"You little…."
"OW! Don't snap that!"
"Shut up!!" So, while Matt and Mello were rolling on the floor, fighting. Near stood veeeeeeery still and twitched slightly…
"KIRA!!!!" Near jumped and dove for Light.
"Ahhhh!!!" Light screamed. Then Mikami stepped in the way
"I'll save you Kami!!" Mikami hit Near in the head with a food tray. Near fell onto the floor and his head bled a little.
"Hey! Don't hit him!" L said and pointed, staring his big, round eyes.
"What are you going….AHH!!!" Mikami screamed a girly scream. Near latched onto Mikami's leg and started biting.
"Ahh! Not again! Get him off!!" Mikami shook his leg and scrambled around the room trying to scrape Near off his leg.
"Wow. Déjà vu…" L said and walked up to Light, who was on the phone.
"Yeah, they're here….No! I can't wait! They're killing each other as we speak!" He yelled into the phone.
"Yagami-kun…..Yagami-kun…" L poked Light.
"Not now! I'll make "cake" with you later!" Light shooed L off. L got really close to Light's face…..
"Are you Kira?"
"OH MY GOD! No! For the last time, NO!" Light yelled and slammed the phone down and walked toward the fighting pairs. "Hey…Hey!…..STOP!!" Light yelled like a Kindergarten teacher at recess. They stopped fighting right where they were, leaving some of them in some interesting positions…. (No more details XD)
"Ok crazies, the nurses are on the way to take you back to the psycho ward."
"What about…"
"Except you Matt, you're fine. You're coming to stay with me. It's not safe here for you…" Light explained.
"Liar! You just want him all to yourself!" Mello exclaimed.
"Yeah! If anyone's going to rape me, it will be Mello!" Matt agreed.
"What?" Mello back away. Everyone looked at them strangely.
"No! Mello is mine!" Near protested.
"No albino! He's mine!" Matt said
"What did you call me!?"
"Albino…al-bi-no!" And then Near and Matt fought.
"Hey! I'm crippled!" Matt said, while trying to fight Near.
"SO!?"
"Please hide me…" Mello stepped and ducked behind L. L sighed and thought Why me? Light stood there, watching people kill each other. It was actually quite entertaining. But, it had to end sometime.
"Hey guys!" L yelled over the commotion. And of course, being the almighty L, everyone stopped.
"You all do realize we are about to go back to that room of death, right?" He announced.
"What?!" They said, in shock. And all panic broke loose.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Matt, Mello and Near screamed and made for the door.
"Duckie! They won't take you away again!"
"Chocolate! Must get chocolate!"
"Kira's gonna rape me!!" And they charged down the hallway, leaving Mikami, L and Light looking awkwardly after them. Mikami and Light looked at L with a death glare. L looked at them then the door, and back at them.
"Get him!" Light commanded and L followed the girly screams down the hospital hall, while Mikami and Light chased him.
"Wait for me guys! You love me! Don't let them take me back there!"
While running down the hallway, our favorite geniuses were hatching a plan to escape. That's when Near heard another cry of help. But it was an actually girl's voice. They stopped running in interest.
"Never mind. It's just that bitch who cut my hair." Mello said and pet the spot where his hair had been cut in remorse.
"I don't think so. It didn't sound like her." Matt said. So the three of them turned the corner. They heard a separate chase from behind and let it pass.
"Save me! Where did you guys go?" L yelled.
"We should go sav…." Mello started
"Shush. It's too late. He's a goner." Near said and followed the voices. It came from a door in the hall. The three of them looked in the window.
"Oh, I shall have my revenge…." Near plotted.
L ran down the hall looking for a way to escape and for Mello, Near and Matt, who abandoned him. Light and Mikami were right behind him, and soon, a few nurses joined the chase with them.
Poor L.
L continued to run down the halls. He was so lost and somewhat disoriented from the lack of sugar. One cake was not enough. L thought that he should probably find the elevator and take it down to the ground floor. L turned and finally saw Matt, Mello and Near standing in a line at the middle of the hall.
"Oh thank God I found you guys!" L said and ran up to them. "What are you doing, Just standing there!? They're right behind me!" And sure enough, Mikami, Light and two nurses stopped in front of them, holding syringes.
"We've got you guys. Just give up and come quietly." Light said. The two nurses stepped forward.
"Not so fast….." Mello smiled. "Open the door!" And then Near opened the door next to him.
"That's him! That's the one who shocked me repeatedly!" Near said and pointed at Light.
"DIE!!!!" Shouted many fan girls as they escaped their own therapy and swarmed into the hall and attacked Light, Mikami and the nurses, especially Light. They were driven back and down the hall.
"Wow Near. How did you get all those fan girls to do that?" L asked.
"Easy." Near said.
Flashback….
A small, albino child walked into a room filled with fan girls in therapy. Many heads slowly turn around….
"Marshmallow bunny!" They scream and jump from their seats.
"Stop!" the head doctor, who is leading the therapy, shouted. They stop for a little and looked at her, then Near, then her again.
"Why are you guys listening to her? Her or me?" Near told them. Then they debated within themselves who to listen to. The evil doctor who made them watch American crap cartoons or the cutest eighteen year old alive…..
"That's right!" One of the fan girls said.
"We can escape!" Another said.
"Near chan!!" One screamed and tackled Near.
"Ahh!" He screamed and crawled away.
"You!" The head doctor pointed at Near. "Wait until I call the nurses….."
"No!" The fan girls screamed and attacked the Head Doctor. Soon, she was finished with, and tied in a chair.
"So….what brings you here Cotton ball fluff?" One fan girl asked.
"I want revenge." He said darkly.
"On who?"
"Kira. He electric shocked me…" There was a bunch of gasps throughout the room.
"How dare he?……" They whispered. "Don't worry, we will destroy him!" They shouted.
"Yeah!"
End Flashback"And that's how I got an army of fan girls to enact my revenge." Matt and Mello nodded.
"So, now how do we get out?" Matt asked.
"Easy, we walk out." L smiled and headed for the elevator.
Matt, Mello, L and Near arrived at the ground floor in the elevator. It seemed that the halls were pretty much abandoned. They walked without trouble towards the exit……
"Stop!" The security guards at the door shouted.
"Ahhh! Run!" L screamed and the four of them ran into the closest room and locked the door behind them.
"We know you're in there! Come out now before we break the door down." The guards said from the other side.
"Ahh. How do we get out?" Near panicked. The room was empty, probably a storage area at one point.
"Look! There's a window!" Mello pointed out. He ran over to it. But it wouldn't budge. Then he tried to punch it.
"Ow!" Mello held his hand in pain. "If only we had something we could throw through the window, but something we could pick up….." Everyone looked at Near.
"What?" He asked, very frightened.
"Grab him!" L commanded.
"Ahhh!" Near screamed.
Now, one very interesting sight, they you may never see in you life, is Near, crashing out from a window and falling onto the ground.
"Ow." He muttered and lay still.
"Woot! We're free!" L, Matt and Mello crawled out from the window behind Near. They ran across the lawn.
"Oh wait!" Mello said and went back for Near. "Hey Near, get up." Mello poked him.
"Is he dead?" Matt asked.
"No, he's only mostly dead." Mello said.
"Damn."
"Come on Near!" Mello grabbed Near around the waist and ran across the lawn. L and Matt ran after them and out from the hospital.
"Damn!" Light said from the window covered in bandages, as he watched four people escape out the gate of the hospital.
"Mikami! Stop hugging me!" Light said and pushed Mikami off him.
"I love you Kami!" Mikami shouted and resumed hugging.
"I hate my life…." Light said.
Misa woke up on a cold, hospital table.
"Hello." A doctor said from above her.
"Ahh! Get away. Misa wants to see Light-kun!" Misa ranted.
"I'm sorry. But you're too valuable." The doctor smiled. Misa looked next to her and saw….
"OMG Takada!" Misa screamed and saw Takada. She was dead.
"I think you kidney will finish paying for my copy of How To Read:13 AND the BB Case novel." The doctor said and applied the anesthesia. The Head doctor laughed from the corner of the basement…..
The End!
And so ends the story. awww! But don't worry! I have more! I watched Without a Paddle yesterday and got insperation for throwing Near out a wndow. I'm sorry Near, that I threw you out a window. And now I can buy the BB Case novel with the cash from Misa's kidneys! yay!! BTW, defenestrate means to throw out a window.