Kiba can't remember exactly when it started, but he thinks it was after Aburame Shibi died of his kikaichu, when Shino understood that he was next. He doesn't know why Shino came to him. He only knows that, years later, Shino still comes to him.

It's not that he minds, but it feels more like routine than anything else, and that bothers him.

He knows Shino isn't his. He knows love isn't what Shino's looking for when Shino slips in through the unlocked window at night, glasses catching the moonlight. He understands that Shino is only looking for a distraction, something to take his mind off the bugs beneath his skin, when he crawls into Kiba's open arms and kisses Kiba tentatively.

Shino never takes his glasses off, not even for Kiba.

They're Shino's safety net; Shino's way of keeping Kiba out and Shino in. It's Shino's way of making sure he isn't getting too attached to Kiba. Even though Kiba doesn't like that, he lets Shino do it, because as hard as he's trying to hold on, he's losing the Aburame, anyways.

When Shino isn't in Kiba's bed, Kiba can tell there's still a wall between them, and it's thicker than it used to be. When they're with Hinata and Kurenai and Akamaru and they're training, Shino treats him just a little worse than he did before- coldly, indifferently, distantly.

Kiba knows Hinata can see what's going on and he knows she worries. He knows that she tells Neji when he embraces her at night, and that Neji frowns and disapproves. Neji thinks he's stupid. He knows Ma and Hana can smell Shino on him, and him on Shino, knows they can smell how the Shino on him becomes less and less as Shino becomes less and less. He knows that Kurenai whispers to Asuma at night when they're in bed about how she worries.

But he can't stop.

Because when Shino slips in through the window he always leaves unlocked at night, he has to open his arms and spread his legs.

Because Shino won't always be there, and someone should know Shino before he's gone. Not just know Shino, but really know Shino, inside and out. Before he's gone, Shino deserves to be understood, to be loved, to be assured that he won't be forgotten, that someone will hold his memories forever, and cherish them. Because Shino deserves to be accepted for who and what he is, cursed kikaichu that will kill him and all.

Shino didn't want all that, and Kiba knows it. He knows that he coerced Shino into this, and now it's only a routine. It's not what Kiba wanted for Shino.

But Shino won't take the glasses off, even when they bump and scrape along Kiba's cheek during kisses. Instead, he apologizes softly the next morning and Kiba grins and waves it away when Hinata asks. Kurenai never mentions the abrasions.

Akamaru knows it's killing his companion to be so close to Shino, to be entwined with Shino, but to be losing Shino at the same time. Every night when Shino slips in through the window and Kiba welcomes him, Kiba loses just a little more of Shino.

And long before he's lost Shino to the kikaichu, he's lost Shino.

... to Shino.