What to do when You Die

A Zach Addy Oneshot

The Addy family sat comfortabley in their large living room. Mrs. Addy was doing the crossword. Mr. Addy was sipping his coffee. The younger Addy's, Mark, Jake, and Finn, were watching the TV.

Mark switched House on. Jake grabbed the remote and changed it to MTV. Mark snatched back the remote and put House back on. Jake yelled and lunged for the remote. The two pulled and yanked on it, until they both fell back and the tv changed to the news.

"A bomb in Washington DC destroyed a building today. Of the two people in the building, one is known to be dead. Dr. Zach Addy died before paramedics reached the scene-..."

"What did that say!" Mrs. Addy said sharply, throwing down her crossword.

"Rewind it Mark!" Mr. Addy yelled.

The Addy's were now thankful for their high definiton TV package, that allowed them rewind the news report.

"Dr. Zach Addy died before paramedics reached the scene...-"

The room went eerily quiet. All five Addys were staring at eachother in horror. The news report continued.

"The twenty five year old doctor had entered the building with a co-worker, Special Agent Seeley Booth. There are no new as to why the two men entered the building, But Agent Booth is now in intensive care at the hospital."

"Zach..." Finn whispered.

Mrs. Addy burst into tears and hugged her husband.

"there might be more then one Zach Addy in DC!" Jake said hopefully.

"Try calling him! He can't be dead!" Mark yelled.

Just then, the phone rang. Mrs. Addy lunged for it.

"Hello?" she sobbed.

"Yes, Frank. We've just heard."

"No, I dont believe it. I'm going to call his cell phone."

"I'll call you when I hear any thing."

"Thank you. We'll be praying too."

She hung up the phone and took a deep, sharp breath. Her hands trembling, she took out a phone and switched it to speed dial, hearing the ring as the line was connected.

Ring.

Pick up Zach.

Ring.

Come on!

Ring.

Oh my god..

"Zach Addy."

"ZACH!" All five Addy's cheered, Mrs. Addy sobbing into the phone.

"What happened?" Zach's voice sounded anxious. "Did someone die?"

"The tv... The tv.. its said you died in an explosion." Mrs. Addy gabbled.

"Well it was wrong!" Zach said.

"I told you there was more then one Zach Addy in DC." Jake said smugly.

"Not exactly..." Zach said slowly.

"What do you mean not exactly!"

"I was in an explosion." Zach admitted.

"WHAT?" It was Mrs. Addy's voice, magnified that Finn felt sure that Zach could me holding the phone several inches away from his head and feel the pain in his ears.

"ZACHARY EDISON ADDY!"

"Mom I can explain-"

"WHEN YOU GET IN AN ACCIDENT OF ANY KIND, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"I'll keep that in mind for next time."

"WHEN YOU FALL OFF A BUILDING, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"I wouldn't imagine doing anything other then that."

"WHEN YOU PUSH SOMEONE OFF A BUILDING, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"Booth has been annoying me..."

"WHEN SOMEONE PUSHES YOU OFF A BUILDING, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"We've been here before."

(Mark) I recognize that tree.

"WHEN YOU GET SHOT, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"Booth, I'm going to have to tell my mother on you..."

"WHEN YOU ARE PSYCOTICALLY THROWN INTO A CAN AND DRIVEN TO A ROADSIDE WAREHOUSE AND ARE TOTURED AND CUT INTO LITTLE PIECES, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"As long as I stil l have my fingers..."

"WHEN THE MAFIA TIES CEMENT BLOCKS TO YOUR FEET AND THROWS YOU IN THE WATER, YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!"

"Darn it Hodgins, you were right."

"WHEN LOCUSTS THE SIZE OF MINIVANS ATTACK.."

"You'll be the first to know."

"WHEN YOU GET EATEN BY A SHARK!"

"WHEN A RAID BIRD ATTACKS YOUR WINDOW!"

"WHEN YOU GET RAN OVER BY AN ELEPHANT!"

"WHEN YOU GET POISONED BY EVIL MINIONS!"

(Finn: When the Yankies are in town.)

"WHEN YOU GET SAVAGED BY A PACK OF MUTANT DOGS!"

"WHEN YOU GET LOST IN THE WOODS AND ARE THE FIRST PERSON THEY DECIDE TO EAT!"

"YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER!!!"

Mrs. Addy finished and took several breaths.

The room was quiet.

Zach knew that he would have to talk quickly, before his mom got a second wind.

"I have to take care of some paperwork..."

"OH NO YOU DONT!" Mrs. Addy schreeched again. "YOU WILL CALL ALL YOUR RELATIVES AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY YOU THOUGHT IT WAS BELOW YOU TO CALL YOUR FAMILY WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT LOVE YOU!"

"Will do." Zach said, and then Mrs. Addy hang up.

Back in DC, Zach sighed and hung up, his phone still shaking slightly.

Booth walked by.

"Somebody's in trouble." he scoffed.

And at that precise second, a bird crashed into Zach Addy's office window.

He smiled slightly. "I guess I have a call to make."

This is my first EVER oneshot. I hoped you enjoyed. There were several OCs, but most of them are from my other Zach Story, Zach Attack. Check it out! I dont own Bones.

Review! I'd love to know what you thought.