I hope you guys find this as funny as I do. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Characters or The Sword and the Stone rights. Or the rights to Monte Python.
Sorry If there are typos I really don't feel like editing tonight.
One fine day, in England, King Arthur was riding along on his imaginary horse, searching for the Holy Grail, when he came upon an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. He didn't know what this contraption was; only that it was stopped behind him making an incessant noise.
Arthur stopped his imaginary horse and a mysterious man exited the contraption, so Arthur decided to speak to him.
"Hello there good Sir. Might I be of service to you on this lovely day?" said Arthur.
"Get out of my way. I don't have time for this." said the man.
"May I at least have your name good Sir. As to make our meeting formal." said Arthur.
"My name is Edward Cullen and I need to get to Italy to save my dear Isabella." said Edward.
"Please the least I could do as king of all England would be to help you save your dear maiden from this terrible fate she is facing. I have a sword and a horse." nobly stated King Arthur.
"What horse? I don't see a horse." said Edward.
"Be that as it may. I insist on helping you. It is the least I could do. Please let me be of assistance. I am quite good with a sword." said Arthur.
"Fine, but forget the horse and just get in the car. It's much faster." said Edward.
"What is a car?" asked Arthur. Edward walked over to his Aston Martin and put his hand on the hood.
"What is a car? This is a car. Come on get it. Hurry." said Edward.
Edward got into the front seat while Arthur stood watching him, dumbfounded. Arthur walked all around the car trying to decide what to do. Edward rolled his eyes, reached over the seat and opened the passenger for Arthur.
"Get in." said Edward, with an urgent tone in his voice.
Arthur got in the car the best he could, considering he had never heard of such a thing. He sat down but left the door open. Edward growled under his breath and reached over Arthur to shut the door.
As soon as the door slammed shut Edward took off. He was driving so wildly that Arthur was gripping the seat for dear life. This continued until they reached the city of Volterra, then Edward spoke up.
"I think you should know Arthur what you are about to face." Edward said, staring intently at Arthur.
"And what, Sir Edward, might that be?" inquired Arthur.
"Then men who took Bella are vampires, and so am I. You might not survive this. I felt like I should at least let you know what your getting yourself into." said Edward.
"Surely this must be a muse?" said Arthur, a worried expression appearing on his face.
"No I'm afraid it's not. I'm a vampire, my whole family are vampires, and Bella will be to if we don't save her."
The rest of the ride was quite. Edward was fully concentrated on getting to Bella in time, while Arthur was trying to think about how not to be killed.
As soon as they arrived in Volterra Edward parked the car and dashed towards the entrance of the Volturi home, with Arthur falling behind him thanks to Edward's vampire speed. When they got inside Bella was lying on the floor screaming in agony.
"Bella! Oh my God. It's to late." Edward said. He had run over to Bella and was now cradling her rigid body in his arms. He screamed out in rage frightening Arthur and Bella.
When the Volturi came into the room where Edward, Bella, and Arthur were, Edward put Bella down and charged at the Volturi. Arthur then picked up Bella in his arms and carried her outside. Bella tried to fight against Arthur but he was to strong and she was in to much pain from her transformation.
Edward rushed outside in time to see Arthur peering at Bella's fragile form laying on the warm Earth in from of him.
"Get away from her." Edward said. Adding such authority to his voice, it caused a shiver to run up Arthur's spine. He steadied himself before he spoke.
"Sir Edward, this maiden is to fair to associate her self with creatures like you. You must be a good man but I feel as good and noble King of England I must rescue her from you. You are of no help to her only a harmful being."
"Step away from her now if you value your life." Edward was furious and Arthur could tell that, but he still didn't back off.
"Isabella is to come with me and be my wife. She will rule in my stead and provide me with a healthy heir for the throne of England. She is also not a sore sight. Quit beautiful actually. Lying with her shall be a honor." said Arthur.
Arthur had now stepped over the line. Edward was beyond furious and there was no stopping him now from what he was about to do.
"You will do no such damn thing you bastard! How dare you think impure thoughts about her. She is mine and mine alone. Now you are going to die!!!" Then Edward jumped on him, biting into the tender flesh of the kings neck. His blood flowed swiftly and deliciously over Edwards tongue. Edward savored every bite, enjoying his sweet revenge. Avenging Bella's life from an innocent man.
When he was finished he disposed of the body and picked Bella up into his arms. He rushed for the car, and laid her in the backseat. There was nothing he could do now except take her home and see Carlisle. He would know what to do. Bella was now becoming a vampire.
While Edward was driving to the airport he was thinking about the situation he was now faced with. Could he handle Bella being a vampire? Could she handle it? Would she still love him even though he couldn't save her? She said this is what she wanted. To be a vampire and stay with him forever. The answer he cam up with was yes. She would still love him, she said she would. They would be together for eternity, happy forever. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all?
Please Review!! Thanks so much!!