Inspiration struck. Just something new, and different, to end my time living in Northern Alberta Boonies.
Cupcakes, and overly sensitive people, probably won't like. But I don't care – it's my story and I'm happy with it.
As always, I don't own em, they all belong to the wonderful JE and will be returned in the same condition they were in when I borrowed them. Except Ranger. He may be suffering from sexual exhaustion, if I return him at all :p
And, most importantly, as always, a huge thank you to my wonderful editor, Stayce, who totally deserves a long vacation in the Bahamas with Ranger, for all of the help she has given me.
Betrayals
I barely managed to stay in my chair as a heavy file folder hit the table in front of me, with a solid thwack. "There." Joe growled. "Read that. And then tell me what the fuck you see in him."
I swiveled to face Joe, and could see that his anger hadn't ebbed at all. We'd had the fight to end all fights the day before, after Ranger had come to my rescue, yet again. And he'd graciously loaned me the turbo - the TURBO! - to drive until my insurance came through and I could get a new car. Mine blew up about the same time as I was kidnapped by an FTA. Of course Ranger found me, helped me get the skip back into the system, and was holding me as I clung to him in the aftershocks of fear and pain when Joe had arrived on scene.
And then the yelling had started. Joe yelling at me, of course. I was still attached to Ranger and unable to step away - my legs just wouldn't hold me up. And the blood was trickling down my neck where the skip had cut me. It was all about my job, the fact that I was bleeding, car-less, and in trouble AGAIN...and, of course, the fact that I was in Ranger's arms. And it went on until Ranger's whole aura changed, until he emanated a feel of danger that would have terrified me into hysteria had I not already been there. He growled "ENOUGH." in a voice so low that it was almost inaudible, yet at the same time was unbearably loud.
Joe's answer was to announce, "We'll finish this once the thug is gone," and stalk off. He waited, but I caught a ride with Ranger, and after a trip to the hospital to stitch my neck, he drove me home, then got Tank to pick him up at my apartment so that I could keep the Turbo.
I didn't see Joe again until five minutes ago, when he unlocked my door, let himself into my apartment, and slammed the folder down in front of me.
"What is it?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
"Go ahead, open it, Cupcake," He spat. "And then when you're done reading it, tell me what the fuck you see in a man like him."
I flipped the folder open and came face to face with Ricardo Carlos Manoso's juvenile record. I flipped through a few of the pages without reading, just catching enough information to recognize that they were classified files, mission documentations, and records from when he was in special forces. I didn't read them. This was Ranger, and it was information he wouldn't be happy anyone had.
"Where did you get this?" I demanded. My temper was rapidly rising.
"He's not the only one with friends in high places, who can get to things he has no business having." He hissed, leaning closer to my face. "Don't you want to read it, Cupcake? Don't you want to know what your hero has done? How about how he killed one of his own team members on a Ranger's mission? Why don't you read that? And about how it was covered up? And then see how honorable you think he is."
"What's your point?" I demanded.
"My point?" Joe looked at me, disbelief written across his face. "My point is that my future wife is running around, putting herself in constant danger, risking her life, relying on a double-crossing treasonous psycho to keep her safe."
"I am NOT your future wife!" I yelled, flying out of the chair and leaping into his face, nose to nose. "You're treating me like...like... like a freaking possession! I'm not giving up my life to sit at home and iron your tighty-whitey's. I'm not listening to ultimatums over who I can and can't associate with." I started to catch steam. "And why would I WANT to for someone who could be so low as to pull out records that nobody should see? To air someone's private information for his own personal enjoyment?"
"And you think he hasn't pulled up every piece of information on you? You think he doesn't know what day and time we got down behind the eclair case, how we did it and how long it took? You think he doesn't know every minute little detail about your life? Christ Steph, he's as bad as a fucking stalker. And you think I'm wrong to give you information you need about him? Stephanie, you need to get him out of your life, and you can't, or won't, make that decision. I'm helping you make it. Read that, and then we'll talk. I can't reason with you when you're like this." Joe shook his head, then turned towards the door.
"No." I growled. He stopped and turned. I stalked up to him and poked him hard in the chest. "You crossed the line. I don't want this relationship anymore. We're through."
Joe's cop face slammed down, but not before I saw the pure rage in his eyes. "Fine, Cupcake. If that's what you want, fine. But don't come running to me when he gets tired of you and eliminates you from his life, like he has every other inconvenience. And watch your back. God knows you can't put it past him to eliminate you permanently when you become more hassle than you're worth." He snarled, then turned and stormed out the door.
I stood, staring into space for a moment, before the rage doubled. "FUCK YOU, Joe!" I screamed into the open, empty doorway. Then I stepped three paces forward and slammed the door as hard as I could. I knew he hadn't made it to the elevator yet. I stalked to the fridge and grabbed a beer, then popped it open and downed it in 3 gulps. Then, how unappetizing the combination was, I flung the freezer door open and grabbed the first full container of Ben & Jerry's I could find. It didn't matter what flavor, and truthfully I was too mad to notice. I just grabbed a spoon and attacked it. How the hell I could have thought I loved that man... Well... no, I thought around a mouthful, I did love Joe. But I sure as hell didn't want a relationship like this anymore. And no way was I going to be the little burg housewife again. Not a chance. I failed at that once, and I sure as hell didn't want it again. I continued to seethe as I made my way through the container, my eyes never leaving the closed file folder in front of me. How could he pry into Ranger's life like that? Dig up his darkest secrets? It wasn't right. It wasn't legal, ethical, or right. Ranger didn't deserve that.
I finished the container and got up for another one, then ate it, slowly this time, while eyeing the folder as it sat, slightly askew, on the table. It was such a plain, beige item… but inside it held the most private secrets of the Man of Mystery himself. It was all very literally, at my fingertips. I could read it, then destroy it, and he would never know. All I had to do was open the folder and start reading. Ranger's secrets were safe with me. I reached out and my finger hovered over it. Ohhh, I wanted to know. He'd referenced a deep dark secret before, and then promised he wasn't sick. That secret was probably in there. And Joe said he killed one of his own? I wanted to know why. And that was probably in there too. No one would know. I could read it, and he would never be the wiser.
Well, except that Ranger knows everything. And did Joe really think that anything, anything at all in this folder would give me reason to hate Ranger? ANYTHING he would have done, he would have had good reason too. I was almost positive he killed Abruzzi, and he did it to save me. I couldn't even find any remorse or guilt in me for that. Ranger hadn't been caught and Abruzzi was truly scary. The world was safer without him. And if it took men like Ranger to eliminate men who could destroy people without conscience, well... But I was derailing my own train of thought. I fingered the edge of the folder, flipping it slightly with the pad of my thumb. It really wouldn't hurt, would it? To read it? Maybe it would help me understand him better, to understand why he acted the way he did; maybe even why his love could never come with a ring.
Halfway through the second container, I pushed away from the table. I tossed the iced cream back into the freezer, then went back and stood to stare down at the file. I couldn't read it. It didn't feel right. If Ranger wanted me to know something, he'd tell me. And no matter how badly I wanted to know, I couldn't bring myself to pry. So then, what did I do? No way was I keeping the file around - my apartment was psycho central and I also didn't trust that Joe wouldn't steal it back and publicly air Ranger's secrets. It was bad enough that he'd already read it. And that would be a worse betrayal than reading it myself. I could burn it...I could shred it... With a sudden resolve, I grabbed my bag, tucked the file under my arm, and walked out the apartment. Rather than wait for the elevator I took the stairs, rushing down them with a single minded purpose, before I could change my mind.
I slid into the Turbo and tossed the file onto the passenger seat, then pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the building on Haywood.
I sat in the parking lot, parked in one of Ranger's personal spots, and tried to convince myself this was the right decision. I blew out a sigh, staring down at the folder. It wasn't that I didn't think this was the right decision... It was that I was truly scared of Ranger's reaction when I gave it to him. Would he evict me from his life? Consider me as having lied to him, betrayed him, gone against him by seeking this out? Would he believe me when I told him I didn't read it, didn't want it, never asked for it? Doubt swirled in my mind, and I was so focused on trying to make that first step out of the car that when my phone rang, it scared the shit out of me, and I swear my head hit the roof with a solid thunk.
"Babe." Ranger's voice came through as I answered. "You going to sit there all night?"
Well, now I couldn't very well change my mind. "Yeah, be right up." I agreed, then flipped the phone shut. Before I could convince myself to turn tail and run, I snatched the file, climbed out of the car, and headed towards the elevators.
Ranger was waiting for me, leaning in the doorway, when the elevator doors opened on 7. He looked at me and raised one eyebrow, but didn't say anything. I walked past him, into the apartment, and then reconsidered the intelligence of having him between me and the door, when he saw the file.
"Looking kinda wired, Babe. What's wrong?"
"I..Uh...Well..Nothing, exactly. Not really. Uh..." I stammered. That was me, miss eloquence herself. Oh God, please don't let him ship me off to some 3rd world country when I give him this. I took a shaky breath and thrust the folder towards him. "Here. Joe gave this to me. I didn't read it." I added hastily. Ranger looked at me curiously and reached out to tug on one of my curls before taking the folder from my trembling hands.
He flipped it open, and his blank mask instantly slid into place. "I didn't read it." I repeated, wringing my hands together. Ranger flipped to the next page, and I could feel the tension emanating off of him. "I'll go now. I just thought I should give that to you." I babbled, and tried to skirt around Ranger and get out the door.
His arm snaked out, grabbing my wrist and effectively stopping my escape. "Stop." he said, his voice deceptively soft. "You're not going anywhere yet." Not letting go of my wrist, he moved over and placed the folder down on the sideboard. He continued to flip through the pages, my wrist held in a painless, but iron grasp. I kept my head averted. I didn't want to see, didn't want to know, didn't want to pry. Or, more that I was scared to know, or scared for him to know I wanted to know.
"How did Morelli get this? Why didn't you read it?" He asked, his voice totally devoid of expression.
"I don't know. He just said that you weren't the only one who had ways to get information you shouldn't be accessing." I stumbled over the words.
"Why didn't you read it?" He asked again. "I know damned well you want to. You're too nosy and curious not to." The slightest expression came into his voice, sharp as a knife, slicing through me.
"It...It wasn't any of my business. If you wanted me to know, you'd tell me." I said.
He didn't say anything, only raised his eyebrow at me, his expression still eerily blank. It was increasing the panic creeping up through my stomach, and I started to babble. "Really. I couldn't do that. I respect you, and your privacy. I love you. If you wanted me to know, you'd tell me. I can't... I won't... I couldn't do that." I rushed. "I didn't ask, or want Joe to get whatever's in there."
"He dug up classified government information. That's a felony."
"He wants me to hate you." I admitted miserably, my voice barely a whisper. Probably I shouldn't have said it, but I couldn't find a rational thought. "He...He said you killed a member of your own team."
"When they're going to die slowly, and painfully, over a 24 hour period, and there's nothing you can do to save them, it's the kindest thing to do." He bit out. I just looked at him helplessly, not knowing what else to do or say.
"You and Morelli still fighting?"
"Morelli and I are done. I don't want what he's offering."
Ranger cupped my cheek, and then leaned forward to press a soft, feather light kiss to my forehead. "Keep your options with Morelli open for now." He started, handing me the file. Too late for that, I thought. His speech was soft and deliberate, toneless. "Go home. Read this. Bring it back when you're done. If you're still willing to associate with me afterwards, we'll talk. If you can't stand seeing me again, just leave it on the sideboard when you're done."
He kissed my forehead one more time, then walked me backwards out of the apartment and closed the door, leaving a chasm wider than the Atlantic between us.
The End……???