A/N I've been experimenting with different styles… So I'm gonna try a banter type fic…Be nice. And I blame sharingank for all the Sand Sibling-y goodness. And Amy Winehouse for her British words ("What kind of fuckery is this?").

"Hmm… Wonder why Gaara hasn't graced us with his presence yet…"

"Why do you mention it?"

"Well, I would think that the seven smoke detectors blaring would have tipped him off…"

"Well, you cross-dressing freak, if would step up to the cooking plate, then maybe I wouldn't have burned anything."

"IT'S A COWL AND TRADITIONAL STAGE PAINT!"
"There's a thin line between face paint and make-up… And you have been dancing on that line in your frilly little skirts and pretty floral girdles for a while now."

" I was testing a knife proof vest!"

"…"

"KNIFE PROOF VEST!"

"…"

"Your just jealous because I've got bigger…."

"KNIFE TEST THIS KANKURINA…" Several knives whizzed through the air, narrowly missing the kazekage as he entered the kitchen.

"What kind of fuckery is this….?"

"Look who's here to save his loving brother! Gaara, if you would just act as my human shield…"

"This is the cooking type of fuckery, and I would be nice if you would lend a hand."

"Or an entire body." Another knife.

"Sure why not… what do you want me to do?"

"Watch this pot of water."

"…"

"Isn't that kind of retroactive?"

" Oooh, who's the master chef now?"

"Really… Would you like a pair of granny panties to go with that knife proof girdle…"

"Et tu, Gaara, et tu? Would you like to discuss your tightey-whiteys?"

" Children, lets not fight. Now, please try not to kill each other while I make a salad?"

"…"

"…"

"I'm glaring at you."

"I'm ignoring you."

"I'm going to take a crap under your pillow."

"That's disgusting."

"That's-"

"Both of you stop! Gaara go chop this cucumber. Kankuro go-"

"- fuck yourself."

"Childish much?"

"Gnah gnah gnah! I'm Kankuro, I exhibit girlish tendencies! Do my shoes match my purse?"

"This is knowledge that you, as my younger brother and my kazekage, should not have."

"Its simple color matching skills. Learn them."

"Gaara. Chop. Cucumber. Kankuro. Go. In. Corner."

"But-"

"FACE THE OTHER WAY!!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Why are you picking out all the purple bits of lettuce?"

"Because I know you don't eat purple things on principle, Gaara."

"Its true… Purple isn't a natural color."

"Purple is SO a natural color."

"FACE THE OTHER WAY!!"
"Its very touching that you remembered that."

"Its very touching that you just expressed that without saying something douche-y."

"I'm sorry to interrupt this very touching moment… But is that pot supposed to do that?"

" SHIT!"

"Your culinarily skills amaze, Temari."

" Your grammar skills offend, Kankuro."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Who wants hamburgers?"

A/N Maybe that wasn't the best idea… But I tried. I know their all a little OC, but you're a damned liar if you say that you don't act differently when you're alone with your family.