A/N: So Alex gave me the notebook for my gradutation present! It kinda makes me sad, since there will be no more collaboration anymore at a certain point, but...oh well.

Disclaimer: Even if the notebook is now mine, the story will forever be mine and Alex's, even though neither of us are JKR. That I know of...


Willow: No! Not the Riceball of Death!

Peter: -Launches himself at Peter to grab Riceball-

Remus: Um...Is it really that important, Peter?

Alice: -Catches Riceball and takes a bite- Mm, you know, this ain't half bad.

Peter: -Sobbing, while yanking Lily's arm backwards- My riceball!

Willow: Did you not hear me a second ago? I said, RICEBALL OF DEATH!

Sirius: So is that why Alice is turning orange?

Alice: What? -Feels around at skin-

Willow: Yup, that would be why.

Alice: Oh no! -Runs to mirror- Oh my God, I look like I overdosed on instant tan lotion!

James: Instant tan lotion?

Lily: Get off me, Peter! -Sends Peter flying backwards- Alice, it's not as bad as you thing...

Alice: Not as bad as I think? NOT AS BAD AS I THINK? Lily, I have freakin' orange bloody skin! -Sticks face in Lily's face- See? See? I fail to understand how this is "Not as bad as I think!"

Willow: The Riceball of Death can do that.

James: What's instant tan lotion?

Sirius: The Riceball of Death makes your skin orange?

Willow: No, it brings about a person's greatest fear, and since most people fear death...

Jem: That makes sense.

James: Is anyone going to answer my question?

Everyone but James: No.

James: -Pouts- Fine... -Goes over and stands by food basket-

Remus: So Alice's greatest fear is...

All Girls: Tanning.

Remus: Tanning?

Alice: Argh! My skin looks so disgusting! It's going to get crinkly and wrinkly! It's gonna peel! IT DOESN'T MATCH MY HAIR!

Sirius: Superficial much?

Peter: -Moans from his position on the floor-

James: Wow, Lily, I wouldn't want to get in the way of YOUR elbows.

Lily: ...Was that supposed to be a compliment?

Peter: -On the floor- I just wanted my riceball back...

Lily: That doesn't mean you can jump on me!

James: He jumped on you?

Lily: Yes he jumped on me! Where were you?

James: -Looks around- Um, I was...

Jem: Hey guys, why is all the food gone?

James: -Looks at Jem with an innocent expression- Hee hee...

Sirius: Arg, it's true!

Lily, James: What's true?

James: -Smirks at Lily-

Lily: -Glares at James-

James: - Yelps and runs over to others-

Sirius: The Riceball of Death! It's true!

Remus: What are you talking about?

Willow: Sirius took a bite of the Riceball of Death, and Jem discovered that James ate all the food.

Alice: So Sirius' greatest fear is having all the food gone?

Remus, James, Peter: Yup.

Jem: So it really does work.

Willow: -Aggravated- Yes, it really does work. I've only been saying that for the last ten minutes.

Sirius: -Pats empty stomach- So...what are you afraid of, Willow?

Willow: ...Urg...

Sirius: Let's find out! -Shoves bit of Riceball into Willow's mouth-

-A clown prances up the stairs-

Clown: Hey guys! I'm here for the birthday party!

Willow: -Shaking- Help...me...

Lily: -Pulls out wand- Clownicus Disappearicus.

Clown: -Disappears-

Remus: That was...odd...

Jem: That's Willow.

James: -Laughing- I can't believe you're afraid of clowns!

Willow: Oh yeah? Well let's see what you're afraid of! -Shoves part of Riceball into James' mouth-

Snape: -Prances up the stairs; Sneers at Lily- Evans. -Attacks Lily in a passionate kiss-

All: -Stunned-

Lily: Mmrph! -Tries to get away-

Snape: My love, you may fight all you want, but you know you can't resist me.

Jem: ...Ew.

Willow: This would all be very funny if it weren't so disgusting.

Lily: -Punches Snape in the stomach and kicks him down the stairs- None of you will even mention this again. Never.

Alice: Technically you wouldn't have been put in that predicament if it weren't for James here.

Lily: -Stares evilly at James- Potter, I'm gonna give you a five second head start.

Jem: You'd better run, James.

James: -Runs away- Arg!

Lily: One...Two...Five! -Runs after James-

Peter: What happened to three and four?

Willow: I think Lily assassinated them.

Jem: Ho can you assassinate a number?

Remus: Once again, why are you not worried about James? Won't HE be getting assassinated?

Alice: Because the law of nature is that you can't kill the one you love.

Willow: Haven't you gotten that through your head yet?

Sirius: Well, you could technically kill the one you love.

Alice: Oh really? Where's your proof?

Sirius: Well, let's just say that my family has been known to kill people they love. Except for me and my great-uncle.

Alice: Oh ho. Then how do you know YOU won't kill the ones you love?

Sirius: I am NOT like my family. I have more honor and loyalty towards my friends.

Peter: That's our Siri, honor and loyalty all the way.

Sirius: Please don't call me Siri, Peter.

Willow: -Bats eyelashes- Can I call you Siri?

Sirius: -Glares, then weakens- I can't say no to you.

Willow: -Cackles-

Jem: Willow, I know you love being a witch, but you don't have to cackle like one.

Alice: Then again, she wouldn't be Willow if she didn't cackle.

Jem: True.

James: -Runs up stairs-

Lily: -Running after him- Potter, get your arse over here!

James: -Makes U-turn around Lily- Oh, so you finally admit that you want me around!

Lily: No, I want you over here so I can castrate you!

Willow: With a grapefruit knife! -Holds up knife-

Lily: Yes, with a grapefruit knife! -Stops running and puts hands on hips- You woke me up at 8:00am on a Saturday! You stole my first kiss! You made Snape kiss me! And you won't bloody tell me how you got up here!

Sirius: Are you still hung up over that?

Lily: You wanted to woo me, but you don't give a damn about MY feelings!

Jem: Lily, calm down.

Lily: I will not! -Walks into dorm room and slams door-

James: God, she's hot when she's pissed.

Alice, Willow, Jem: -Roll eyes-

Peter: Yeah, yeah. Only you would think that.

Sirius: Actually, I was just thinking that too.

James: WHAT? -Hits Sirius in the arm-

Remus: Hey guys, we're in the hallway.

Boys: -Look at each other- RUN!

Willow: Oh no you don't.

Alice, Jem, Willow: -Grab boys and duct tape them to the wall-

Sirius: What the hell is this stuff?

Jem: Duct tape.

Remus: I've heard about this stuff. It has over 1,000 uses.

Sirius: Does this seem kinky to anyone else?

Everyone but Sirius: -Stares at Sirius-

Alice: Lily, they're all yours.

-Silence-

Jem: Oh yeah, she locked herself in our room. Great. So what do we do with them? -Points to Marauders-

James: Well, you could let us go...

Willow: Yes, but that would defeat the purpose of tying you up in the first place.

Alice: I have a better idea. -Talks loudly so Lily can hear- Let's take them somewhere dark and do terrible things to them until they tell us how they got up here. -Stares evilly at boys- But we would have to do them each separately...

Peter: Guys, I'm really scared... -Starts squirming and duct tape tightens-

Sirius: Peter! Stop squirming! You're making it even more terrible than it needs to be!

Jem: I'm sorta worried for their well-being here.

Willow: I'm not. -Speaks loudly, catching onto Alice's idea of luring Lily out of the room- I kinda like your idea, Alice.

Jem: What?

Alice: -Whispers to Jem- Lily wanted to know how they got up here, right? So if we talk loud enough to get her attention, she may come back out and join the fun.

Jem: Do you really think she won't guess what's up?

Willow: I doubt it.

Jem: Why?

Willow: Because she's sitting with her back to the door, listening to every word we say to them. -Points to Lily's shadow under the door-

Jem: Oh.

Willow: Yeah.

Alice: So we just need to make this convincing.

Remus: Um, guys?

Alice: -In normal tones- Yeah?

Sirius: Aren't you supposed to be doing terrible things to us?

James: -Elbows Sirius- I suggest you kill him first.

Alice: With pleasure.

Sirius: -To James- Hey!

Willow: Actually, that's not a bad idea...

Sirius: -To Willow- Hey!

Jem: Straw!

Everyone but Jem: -Stares at Jem-

Jem: Why do I even bother?

Peter: I get it!

Remus: Get what?

James: You cut the goose tape.

Alice: Duct tape.

Peter: No.

Sirius: Then what do you get?

Peter: What Jem was saying.

Remus: How is that going to help us get out of there?

Peter: It won't. I just understood what she meant when she said "Straw."

Jem: -Beams at Peter-

Peter: Hay is for horses, and hay is also called straw. Jeez. -Rolls eyes- I thought YOU would get that, Remus.

Remus: Hey, I never said I knew everything.

-Awkward pause-

Remus: Well, I didn't...

Sirius: That's very true...

James: -Snores-

Alice: Who's snoring?

Alice, Willow, Jem: -Look around-

Sirius: I think it's James. -Nudges James-

James: -Snores, then wakes up suddenly- Huh, what? -Looks up sleepily-

Jem: So, um, who are we gonna kill then?

Alice: It's gotta be either Sirius or James.

Sirius, James: Hey!

James: Why not them? -Points to Remus and Peter-

Willow: Because he's a minor character. -Points to Peter- And you can't kill the smart guy.

James: Why not?

Alice: You know, the fact that you have to ask obviously means that you're NOT a smart guy.

Lily: -From inside the room- Well, duh!

Sirius: The door spoke!

Remus: It was Lily, you idiot.

Willow: This is why we can't kill him. It would just be bad.

Sirius: Why?

Remus: Because if they killed me, they'd be stuck with two idiots and a minor character.

Peter: Hey, why am I a minor character? I'm a Marauder too!

Alice: Yes, but have you noticed that not only do you have fewer lines than anyone else, but that every other Marauder has some form of a girlfriend here?

Peter: Wait, that's not true!

Willow: Really? James has Lily--

-Girl's dorm room door flings open and smacks James in the face-

Lily: -Portrait of fury- That - thing - does - not - HAVE ME!

Sirius: Wow, that sounded so dirty.

James: -Holding bleeding nose- Um, a little help here...

Lily: -Turns to girls and points at James- How could you possibly think that I could ever like the abomination that is strapped to the wall outside our dorm door? He's a complete and utter pig!

Peter: Lily's scaring me...

Lily: -Huffs and goes back into dorm, slamming the door-

Willow: Anyway...

Alice: Moving on, there's Remus and Jem.

Jem: -Blinks- Alice!

Remus: -Coughs and blushes-

Willow: See?

Alice: And Willow has Sirius.

Sirius: Whoa, whoa, shouldn't it be that I have Willow?

Willow: You forget which one of us it is that is currently strapped to the wall.

Sirius: Good point. Carry on, then.

Peter: Are we done yet? My bum hurts and I have to pee really bad.

Everyone but Peter: -Stares at Peter-

Peter: What? I'm just being honest.

Jem: Um, ok, sure--

Alice: -Cuts Jem off with evil laughter- No, he cannot go! Bwahahahahaha!

Boys: What?

Alice: You heard me! He can't go until they -Points to Marauders- tell us how they got up here.

Jem: Ah, okay.

Peter: You're cruel, Alice! And I thought you were nice!

Willow: Shows how much you know.

To be continued...


A/N: Well, please review!

Hugs and fuzzles

MM360