Jedi Ecklie 007
Rating: Teen. For language.
Disclaimer: it's my dream! i own it! but not the characters. lol
Summary: Ecklie's attempts to take over the world.
A/N: Miranda and I wrote this at lunch today. I almost choked on my chips.
Ecklie: Right. So today... I put out flyers all over Las Vegas for a position as my... partner in evil, basically. And so far... I've seen quiet a lot of capable people.
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"So... what experiences have you had with oh say... taking over the world?" Ecklie looked across at the stoned hippie sitting across from him in Ecklie's office.
"Dude... your bald."
"Yes, well... baldness is the new look of evil." He sighed. "Thanks for your time. I'll call you a let you know."
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Ecklie walked into the lab where Hodges was and looked around for a few seconds. Hodges tensed up when Ecklie stood directly behind him.
"I need you." Hodges yelled and jumped into the table.
"Yeah? Well I need YOU to get away from me!"
"Ooh. Attitude. I love it."
"Catherine warned me about you..." Hodges said as he narrowed his eyes. Ecklie threw up his hands in defeat.
"Catherine doesn't know anything. She's a follower, Hodges. She's not like us... she will never become one of us."
"What exactly are we?"
"We are leaders! We are what the world needs! We're almost as good as a cure for cancer... but not quiet!"
"So what do you want with me?"
"DO NOT SPEAK! The voices are talking to me again..." Ecklie rocked back and forth and pointed his finger at Hodges. "You! Follow me."
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The rest of the team sat in the break room, laughing about some stupid things Ecklie did in past years when they all stopped at the sound of loud heavy metal rock music blasting from Ecklie's office. They stood in the hall and jumped as all the lights switched off. The only light was pointed at the doorway of Ecklie's office.
You could barely see Hodges crawling around the floor with a bucket of dry ice that had steam coming out of it. Ecklie held a microphone in his hand and did his evil laugh into it. Everyone winced as a loud, screeching noise filled the speakers. He held the microphone away from his mouth and tapped it.
"Check, one two... one two... okay. It works. MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PEASENTS AND NOBLES!" He began to walk out of his office, but his black cape got caught in the door henges and pulled him back. "Damnit, Hodges. Untangle me!"
"I... can't. It's... stuck." Everyone started leaving. Ecklie screamed and tried to break loose of his cape.
"Come back here! I OWN YOU!!"
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"PEOPLE! Your lives are in danger!! Come to me and I shall save you from all evilness in the world!!" Ecklie stood ontop of a weak looking cardboard box in the middle of the Strip. Toursists and bystanders watched in amusement as Hodges ran around Ecklie and the coardboard box in a superhero assisant costume. "By this time next year, your children's education shall be destoryed! Let me and my army help fight what's going to be the cause! All we ask... is that you donate... TWENTYDOLLARS IN CASH OR CHECK FILLED OUT TO LASVEGASCRIMELAB!" He said in one breath.
Catherine was driving by, going to pick up Lindsey from school, when she saw Hodges jump up and down around toursits, trying to make them take a fyler he was passing out. She shook her head, took out her cell phone, and called the police department.
"Um... yes. This is an emergency. I have two insane people holding what seems to be... a drug swap on the Strip, next to the Tangiers. Yes, thank you."
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Police cars surrounded them just as fast as Catherine had called. Ecklie jumped down from the box and pointed to the flashing blue lights.
"I've see you pigs have finally wised up. Join the darkside, gentlemen... we have donuts..." The officer looked to his partner and nodded his head. They pulled out a pair of handcuffs and started walking towards him. "Wha... what's that? No. You're not going to arrest me, are you? NO! HODGES! Save me!!" Hodges shook his head and dropped the flyers, running backwards. "HODGES! GET BACK HERE!"
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court of law."
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"Yahoo... job search... 'Ruler of World...' and... search." Ecklie patiently waited and jumped when one result came up on the screen. Without looking at the job description, he picked up the phone and dialed the number. "Ugh, yes. I'm calling to apply for your job... yes. That's right. The Ruler of the World thing... of COURSE I'm willing to do anything! What the heck! When do I start?"
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"And now ladies and gentlemen, The 'Ruler of your World!'" Ecklie strutted out on stage in a pair of speedos and army boots with a bow tie around his neck. Everyone in the audience stopped talking and stared at him. The DJ stopped the music.
Silence.
"I hope that hair is just part of the speedo!!" Someone screamed out.
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Ecklie marched into the office of the strip club manager and placed his hands on his hips.
"Stripping is not considered a step closer to taking over the world."
"... are you kidding me?" Ecklie lunged for the desk and took all the money out of the drawer. The owner flew back and landed on the floor. Ecklie slipped on all the papers and half crawled/ran out of the room. Young women standing by the door screamed and scattered to the other side of the club as Ecklie darted for the double doors, and ran out into the streets... again.
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Ecklie: (Talking with a black eye, a neck brace, and a cast on his arm and leg) Apparently, Catherine takes her past job very seriously. I made a witty little comment about how anyone could be a stripper, and you know, the woman just spazed out. Honestly, I underestimated her powers. I think... she'd make a good addition to my army. She's strong. She's made that... very clear.
(He thinks for a moment)
I mean, how hard is it to walk out on stage and take your clothes off? Not hard, right? Look. I can even do it in the lab!
(He stands up and begins to dance. Catherine can be heard in the background.)
"If you want people to rule over, you best keep them clothes on!"
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"That's it! We must go to the park! The park is full of children! You give them chocolate, and they are owned. FOLLOW ME HODGES!"
They walked out into the street and got a cab.
"Where to," the cab driver asked.
"You think I won't be ready! But you're wrong, persumptious cab beast! I have prepared myself for this moment! And it has paid off in FULL! YOU see, the invaders learn from their mistakes, however rare they may be! NOW HUMAN, take me to... THAT WAYYY!"
"Get outta my cab!!"
"What about the bus," Hodges asked.
"Excellent, Hodges! We will use one of their own methods of transportation to beat this revulting city!" They got onto the bus without paying fair and took a seat.
"Where do you think you're going," the bus driver asked.
"I go to the park! Now mind your business, BUS SLAVE!"
"You don't go anywhere without paying the fee."
"Fee? You expect me to pay to be on this filthy machine?! HAVE YOU NOT BRAINNN WORMS?!"
A/N: (rolls on floor laughing) We made another chapter for you guys:)