Title: Fairyland: Part IV (Ending)
Disclaimer: These two were hatched from the collective brain of CLAMP. Not mine.
Spoilers: Yes. Post-Tokyo plot.
Rating: for language.
Word Count: 1903

Sorry for the delay in updating! FFnet has been having... issues.

fairyland: ending

Kurogane's eyes fluttered open, his vision blurred. Slowly, the room came into focus. Above him, a white, high ceiling. Underneath, a huge, soft bed, littered with pillows. Sunlit curtains billowed on the right side of his bed.

Someone was touching his right hand, and Kurogane winced as renewed pain shot through it and tried to pull his hand away.

"You're awake," Fai said, his voice thick with relief. "Kurogane, would you please relax your hand so I can treat it?"

His hand was clenched tightly around something warm. Warily, Kurogane opened his hand to find one of the princess's feathers there. He'd never held one of her feathers before and couldn't help but marvel at how it felt against his skin, like something living. It pulsed in his palm, and Kurogane felt a sensation of power race through his body. He realized with a start that he suddenly understood how people could stubbornly cling to "their" feathers, even when confronted with the rightful owner's sweet, imploring face.

"Take it," Kurogane said, shoving the feather at Fai, who placed it on the bedside table, his hands shaking as if from strain. He watched Fai intently as Fai dabbed a cloth smelling of disinfectant onto his injured hand. The other man's features were pinched, the skin drawn tight around his mouth and dark smudges under his eyes.

"I'm sorry... it...it... was necessary," Fai stammered, his eye fixed rigidly on Kurogane's hand, his expression painfully vulnerable, like it hadn't been since that hellish acid rain world.

Kurogane tugged his hand away and drew it close to his face. The muscle between his index finger and thumb sported a tiny pair of unmistakable puncture holes, and the surrounding tissue was swollen and red. But that muscle lacked major arteries. The objective had been pain, not nourishment. "You bit me in that world, or should I say my dream, but I have a real injury here."

There was a grinding noise as Fai pushed his chair backwards. "I should go tell Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun that you're awake! They've been very worried, you know," he said with false cheer, still avoiding eye contact.

Kurogane's arm shot out and snagged Fai's wrist. "Sit," he said, tugging Fai to the bed. It wasn't a request. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Guide, and don't think for a minute that I'm going to let you go until you've explained every damned bit to my satisfaction."

Fai obeyed, although he perched stiffly on the very edge, as if he might bolt at any moment. Kurogane drew himself up beside Fai, keeping his hold on the other man's wrist. "If you hadn't bitten me, you would have died when I... when you lost your eye, right?"

Fai twisted his hands together. "The emergence of the feather inside your dream meant that yes, it was possible for dreams to become reality. To have an effect on the actual world."

"How the hell did that feather get in my dream in the first place? And how long have I been out?"

"Four days." Fai bit at his lower lip. They were chapped, and Fai's complexion was even paler than usual. "You had been at the library with Syaoran-kun, researching this country's fairy tales. You left him there to go on an errand, but you never came home." Fai's voice grew flat. "We found you unconscious in an alleyway. There were slash marks on the wall... and magical residue. You were bleeding. Mokona insisted that there was a feather, and when we couldn't find one, I realized it must be inside of you. I believe you fought with Sya—the clone—over the feather, and he attempted to use magic against you. But he isn't very skilled with it yet. It backfired and forced the feather into your mind."

Kurogane grunted. "So he came into my dream to try to get it. He said he got the power of dream-walking from you. That's why you were able to enter my mind so much, isn't it? And you knew more about my dream than I did."

"It's just something you can be trained in. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I didn't think you'd wake up otherwise, under the feather's spell," whispered Fai.

"I don't have anything to hide." Kurogane's grasp tightened on Fai's wrist. "But obviously you do, or you wouldn't have disguised yourself in that stupid cloak. It would have made things simpler if you'd just explained everything when you first appeared to me, but you always have to complicate matters, don't you?"

Fai's jaw tightened, and he gave a bitter little laugh. "Kurogane speaks with such confidence. Perhaps he should just explain the rest to me, since I'll get it all wrong."

Kurogane started to lash back at the other man, but then he bit back his retort. He could feel Fai's pulse quickening under his fingers; Fai was just attempting to mask his fear with a distraction. He'd done it successfully in the past far too many times. Exhaling slowly, Kurogane relaxed his grasp on Fai so that his hand was simply covering Fai's, and Fai's eye widened. "Tell me the truth, then. I won't interrupt, but I need to know. Everything. Please."

"I'll... try." A tremor ran over Fai. He stared at the hand over his like it was an anchor, and did not lift his gaze from it once as he recounted the events over the last four days. He explained how he'd spent the time he wasn't with Kurogane in the dream attempting to shore up Kurogane's mental defenses against the clone, who was using his link from the battle with Kurogane to reenter his mind. The clone had held no qualms about causing mental damage to Kurogane, so Fai had been forced to remain vigilant. Syaoran and Sakura had not "entered" Kurogane's mind on the same level as Fai, but they had spent time with his body, hoping the sensation of friendly presences might awaken him. But the clone had manipulated the mental fingerprints they'd left in an attempt to distract Kurogane while he searched for the feather. In Syaoran's case, he'd "imprisoned" the boy's impression since he couldn't sway him. But the princess – here Fai smiled grimly – held too many feelings for the clone, and her impression had ultimately located her feather and delivered it to him. Kurogane's mind, Fai hypothesized, had attempted to make sense of the foreign presences and the magical interference of the feather by putting them into a framework it could understand: the fairy tales he'd just read recently.

Fai paused then, looking uncertain. "But I was afraid because of our... history, that your mind might automatically reject me if I weren't disguised. Also, I was trying to avoid detection from the clone. But in the end, I almost failed rather miserably, didn't I? That's really all there is to it."

"No, it's not," Kurogane said softly. "When I was in the dream, I saw into the boy's mind when he was in the coffin. His mind was open to me. Yours was too. You were afraid I would see into your mind, that I would ask you too many questions and you wouldn't be able to lie. But that tower... that tower and that child came from your mind."

"I really should go and get the others," Fai said very quickly, and he bolted upwards. His legs wobbled from the sudden exertion, and he collapsed. Kurogane caught him under the arms before he hit the floor.

"Idiot," growled Kurogane, carefully placing Fai back onto the bed. He sat beside Fai and put an arm behind the man's back so he wouldn't topple over. Fai really did look terrible; he couldn't stop shivering from exhaustion. "You haven't slept or eaten all this time, have you?" Fai shook his head and Kurogane mentally added the math: Fai hadn't drunk from him for four days when he'd last been conscious... so Fai had gone over eight days without drink. Through trial and error, they'd discovered that five was about Fai's limit. A sudden realization came over Kurogane: "I was always thirsty in that dream. That was your thirst I was experiencing."

"I'm sor--" Fai began, but Kurogane cut him off. "Don't be sorry, stupid mage. If you were thirsty, you should have just taken what you needed."

Fai leaned into Kurogane's shoulder, perhaps from fatigue, perhaps so Kurogane couldn't see his face. "How could I cut you when you were asleep? How could I cut you at all? I don't want to hurt you."

Kurogane's pocket knife was on the bedside table. He took it and wiped against his pant leg, then rolled up his shirt sleeve. Fai's hand closed around his wrist as he brought the knife up. "Please. You're still weak. I don't need to eat now."

Kurogane let his hand drop. Normally, he would just ignore Fai's reluctance, but Fai was vulnerable now. Forcing him to feed would be emotionally damaging. Instead, he patiently stroked Fai with the hand that was supporting him. "If you don't want me to cut myself, you could just bite me." Fai had never bitten him; Kurogane knew he had fangs only because Fai had once accidentally scraped them against his wrist bone while feeding. Fai wouldn't meet his eyes for a week afterwards.

Fai's body tensed. "No. Never."

"When you did it in the dream, it only hurt a little, not nearly as much as me cutting myself. Except when you bit my hand, but that was your intention. It... wasn't a bad thing." Kurogane did not mention the connection and sense of rightness about it, but he was certain Fai remembered.

"It didn't hurt?"

"No. Nothing to feel guilty about. It's just life. Wanting to live is never wrong," Kurogane said with a quiet conviction.

"I want to believe that," Fai whispered, and Kurogane wondered if he were thinking of the boy in the tower. "I must be such a burden to you."

Kurogane couldn't resist pulling Fai closer, as if he could erase Fai's pain by physical contact. "You're a pain in the ass, and you were a pain in the ass as Guide... but it was good that you were there. That you are here. You aren't a burden."

Fai shifted back so he could look him in the eyes. "Really?"

Kurogane met his fearful, hopeful gaze honestly. "Yes. I--" There were more words that he wanted to say, but they stuck in his throat. I want you to stay, even if you're the most infuriating person I've ever met. Even if you're ashamed of your past and you're broken on the inside. I want you to stay here. I want to be here for you. Let me.

A faint smile passed across Fai's face as if he'd read those unspoken words on Kurogane's face. "Then, I'll try." He ran his fingertips down Kurogane's eyelids, and Kurogane closed his eyes, understanding that the other man did not want to be watched. Fai's lips brushed against his neck, light as a bird's feathers.

Kurogane kept his arm around Fai and did not let go.

the end

I hope you all enjoyed reading this! I know I enjoyed writing it. If you haven't commented yet, now is a good time to let me know your thoughts, since it's finished. :)