6

Chapter 4.

"So, Severus, if you're not going to be teaching, what are you going to be doing with yourself all day?" Lupin raised an eyebrow, "Research did you say?"

Snape glared at him over the top of his glass. "What's the matter? Got hairballs in your ears? You heard me tell Minerva what I'm planning to do."

Ignoring the hairball comment, Lupin grinned. "And just exactly how are you going to do that then?"

"How do you think, Lupin? I'm going to stand in a field and dance naked around my shiniest cauldron." Snape smirked at him, "while Evelyn does naughty things with my wand."

Having just taken a sip of his Firewhiskey Lupin choked. "You're what..."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake you idiotic wolf!" Snape snapped. "We've bought a house in Hogsmeade. It has an outbuilding I shall use as my laboratory. Evelyn is selling her book shop and she'll open one in the village. She plans, amongst other things; to stock the dreadful romantic 'teen fiction' the students are so fond of reading when they should be doing homework."

"I'd have thought it likely you'd open an apothecary. Seems more your sort of thing."

Snape nodded. "Indeed it is, but this however is Evelyn's shop, not mine. I believe that she plans to allow them to have..." he shuddered, "'comfy sofas and coffee' so that they can sit and enjoy the books."

"Comfy sofas?" Lupin looked bemused. "Have you told her what the brats are like? Merlin help her once the current crop of Weasleys starts to breed."

"Believe me, Lupin, I've tried, but she continues to imagine that they can't be that bad." He shook his head. "All I can do now is wait and try not to tell her I told her so."

"Look on the bright side though," Lupin snickered. "When she's distraught because you were right all along, she'll be tearful and you'll get to be all manly and comforting."

"And have lots of comfort sex," Snape chuckled.

"Exactly!"

SSSSSSSSSS

"So, what will you be doing while Severus buries his nose in his cauldrons all day long, Evelyn?" McGonagall asked.

"I'm opening a new bookstore." Evelyn told her.

"A bookstore? I'd have thought an Apothecary was more Severus's sort of thing," McGonagall was surprised.

"Well, as you said," Evelyn smiled at her. "Severus will be busy with his..."she hesitated as if familiarising herself with the word, "his potions." Taking a sip of her tea she chuckled. "Mind you, dad was hoping we'd open a restaurant. Severus is a fabulous cook, and dad says he's the best kitchen assistant he ever had."

"Kitchen assistant?" Hermione's eyebrow rose.

"Oh yes," Evelyn nodded. "My dad is a chef. He used to run his own restaurant until the arthritis in his hands got too bad. Severus has been helping him in the kitchen every summer for years. The first time my parents came over to meet Severus they arrived early, and he was still in the kitchen making the pasta sauce, and my dad, being a typical chef, had to go and 'check up on things'. Once he saw how good Severus is at 'dicing and slicing' that was it, he could do no wrong. I was told in no uncertain terms that he was a keeper." Evelyn laughed. "Heavens, you should see the two of them in the kitchen together. The whole family knows to stay away for fear of being yelled at. No one is allowed through the kitchen door until they emerge with dinner. "

Hermione and McGonagall exchanged astonished glances before Hermione poured them all more tea. "How much does your family know about the professor?"

Evelyn frowned. "Well, they don't know about the wizardy thing. I mean I only just found out about that myself and Severus tells me it's not for public knowledge, but they all know him of course. As far as they're concerned he is family."

"You have a large family, Evelyn?" McGonagall asked.

"Not really. There's me, my two brothers, their other halves and children. I think Severus used to find Sunday lunch overwhelming until dad commandeered him for kitchen duties. It was the young children mostly I think," Evelyn answered.

"That doesn't surprise me." Hermione was amused at the idea of her taciturn, sarcastic professor in such an environment.

"Oh no, the trouble is they love him, and fight over who gets to sit next to him at dinner. Uncle Sev'rus is always happy to hide any unwanted vegetables they don't want to eat," Evelyn smiled fondly.

McGonagall chuckled. "He never did like vegetables as a child, more than once his Head of House had to lecture him about eating properly."

"Probably why he's so thin and pasty," Hermione nodded, before covering her mouth with her hand. "Goodness! Sorry, Evie, that was terribly rude of me!"

"Yes, Hermione, it was." McGonagall gave her a glare. "Especially as he's currently got quite a nice tan, which I must say suits him well."

Evelyn grinned. "It does rather doesn't it?"

"Tell us more about your family, Evie." Hermione prodded.

Evelyn settled herself more comfortably in her chair. "I have two brothers, as I said. Both are older than me, Hilary and Jocelyn." She grimaced. "My parents chose unisex names for all of us. Dad says it was so they didn't have to worry what sex we were, the name fitted either. Of course both Hill and Joss whinge and tell me I got the best name. I suppose I did. Joss has children, three of the little devils, James, who's twelve, Cosmo, he's eight and Harriet, she's five. Hilary is married, but they don't have children yet. Though I'm sure Caroline would like some. My parents are Colin and Jill. That's it I suppose, as I said dad is a chef, Joss runs the restaurant for him now and Hill works in the city, in some high flying merchant bank I believe."

"My parents are dentists," Hermione told her. "But I'm an only child."

"Severus too is an only child," McGonagall nodded. "It must have been extremely difficult for him; he really doesn't mix well with others."

"He's coped with my family very well," Evelyn grinned. "I think he was grateful that we all have weird names too. Plus of course, no one said anything about his nose. I mean, look at mine, they run in our family too."

Hermione and McGonagall glanced at each other.

This time it was Evelyn who laughed, as their faces plainly revealed their thoughts on a whole family with Snape-like noses.

SSSSSSSSSS

Lupin giggled into his glass, the drink was definitely loosening both their tongues. A question he knew he'd never normally dare ask popped into his head. "So, how did you propose then? You've never struck me as the down on one knee type."

Snape stared at him. "That's none of your business, and I'd appreciate it if you kept your snout out of mine."

"Oh come on, Severus," Lupin snickered. "We've known each other since we were eleven for Merlin's sake! I know we had a rather shaky start, but we're adults now, and I'd like to think we've been friends for a while. We talk, you know we do."

With a loud put upon sigh, Snape nodded. "You may be right. We do talk, though why I'm not sure. I can't imagine what I was thinking when I allowed you to attach yourself to me."

"Attach myself to you!" Lupin sat up straight and glared at him. "You are a complete arse, Snape, you do know that don't you?"

An eyebrow rose before he drawled, "I'll have you know that Evelyn thinks I have a very fine arse."

Lupin collapsed in a heap of drunken giggles. "Come on then, Sev, if you tell me yours I'll tell you mine."

"Actually..." Snape stopped to finish his drink. "It was somewhat humiliating. We had rather a nasty row in front of her parents. I was so outraged I completely lost control."

"You did?" Lupin's eyes were wide as saucers. "The whole purple faced, flying spittle thing?" At Snapes glare he grinned. "I'm surprised you didn't scare her off then and there."

"Well, yes, but Evelyn has a way of stopping me in my tracks. It's quite..."he stopped and stared at his empty glass. "She very calmly turned to her parents and announced that we'd better leave as I was obviously overtired, and needed to be tucked up in my cot. It took the wind right out of my sails as they say."

"She didn't? And you didn't hex her?"

"No, in fact while I stood there gaping like a codfish, she wrapped her arms around me and said 'What on earth am I going to do with you?' "

"And?" Lupin was practically goggling.

Snape shrugged. "I asked her to marry me."

"What did she say?" Lupin prodded.

Snape's eyes rolled. "We're married, Lupin, what do you think she said?"

"Merlin, Severus, you've got it bad haven't you?"

"I'm afraid so," Snape agreed.

"Then I'm doomed," Lupin whispered.

"Doomed?"

"Well, if you, the sarcastic, evil, cold hearted, greasy git of the dungeons, can fall so hard, what hope is there for me? I mean, I'm nice, sweet, gentle, good-natured Lupin. I'm buggered."

"Really, Lupin, I have no wish to hear about your sexual exploits with Granger. Though, it doesn't surprise me that she wears the trousers in your household." He gave Lupin a wicked grin. "I wonder, will she be Mrs Lupin, or will you?"

"Sod off, Snape!"

Suppressing a laugh, Snape stood and headed for the door. "I think it's about time I collected my wife. Merlin knows what those Harpies have subjected her to," he sneered. "Filled her head with all sorts of rubbish no doubt."

Heaving himself off the couch Lupin frowned, "Hey, one of those Harpies you're maligning is mine."

Snape merely stood in the now open doorway, "Indeed."

SSSSSSSSSS

Hermione had just finished telling Evelyn yet another anecdote about the stern potions master, to much tear filled laughter, when Snape and Lupin arrived back. Taking one look at the frowning man standing in the doorway, all three women dissolved into yet more giggles.

"Well, Severus, I think we're too late," Lupin stage whispered, "I'd say there's only one thing that could get that reaction..."

"Neville's boggart!" laughed Hermione as she wiped at her eyes.

Drawing himself up to his full height, Snape gave all three women a withering glare. "I rather think it's time I took my wife home. If the insults are becoming personal I see no reason to subject myself to more."

"Oh, Severus," Evelyn chuckled, "no ones been insulting you, you daft bat. Hermione's just been telling me some stories from when she was at school." She paused and gave him a considering look, "why didn't you tell me you were a cross dresser?"

At that Hermione and Minerva both howled with laughter and Lupin barely managed to keep calm enough to grab Snape's arm before he went for his wand.

"Really, Severus, its bad form to hex your wife," he snickered.

Evelyn stood and went over to her furious husband. Wrapping her arms around his waist she smiled up at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, Severus, but that was just too good to pass up. Shall we go home? I think maybe you need a moment or two to yourself."

Taking several deep calming breaths, Snape looked down at the woman in his arms. "It is, as you say, time to leave. Say goodbye to Minerva and Miss Granger, Evelyn."

Evelyn turned and smiled at the two women, who now had their fit of giggles under control, "Good bye Minerva, Hermione, we really must do this again. Perhaps you can come for tea once we've settled in?"

Minerva answered for them both, "We'd be delighted to Evelyn, but please don't let Severus keep you locked away, you must come visit us too."

"What about me?" Lupin grinned, "Don't I get a goodbye?"

Evelyn grinned back at him, "of course you do. Goodbye Remus."

"Yes, goodbye Remus, Minerva, Miss Granger," Snape nodded to them, and then taking his wife's hand he pulled her from the room.

For a moment there was total silence, and then Hermione spoke. "Well that went better than I expected."

Minerva nodded, "and no one got hexed."

Sitting down next to Hermione Remus grinned, "Although it was a near thing with that cross dressing comment."

Hermione frowned, "He almost hexed Evie."

Minerva sat forward and patted her arm, "No dear, he almost hexed you."

Remus laughed as Hermione just looked more confused.

Fin.