My friend, Felicia gave me the idea of doing a story about Mimi in rehab. I thought it would be a good idea. So here it is. It's like a Rent/Cut crossover. But not really. I just got a lot of my ideas and stuff like that from the book "Cut". By the way, the story is in Mimi's POV.
Disclaimer: Rent is not mine. Or "Cut" by Patricia McCormick. It's an awesome book so go read it!
And I got the tittle from a Degrassi season 2 episode. I don't own that either...
Story Time!
Why am I here? Oh yeah, I have a drug problem. But when did it get so bad I'd be here? Here. Where exactly is here. The professionals call it a rehabilitation center or a residential treatment facility. For the rest of us, we call it a looney bin. There are anorexics, bulimic, cutters, druggies, and much more. We are all here for one purpose, to get better. Will I get better? Or will I be here for the rest of my life?
My eyes scan the office. I feel like I'm imprisoned inside four walls. Never to see the outside world again. I just want to go home. Home. What a wonderful word. What I wouldn't do to be at home with my friends- my family. Talking about dumb things while eating old Captain Crunch cereal. I close my eyes to picture the sight. The loft, and it's big windows and old ratty furniture. I would do anything just to go jump on that couch. I reopen my eyes. I'm still in her office. The office of my shrink. Speaking of her she looks kind of frustrated. I almost feel bad. "So Mimi, What would you like to talk about today?"
Her voice seems so far away. As if she was a wall in between us. I shrugged my shoulders. I'd normally just pick any random topic like food labels or daytime talk shows. But I didn't feel like conversing. I just was not in the mood. "I have nothing to say, really." My voice sounds so weak from my point of view. But isn't it true that your voice sounds different to other people? I wish I knew what she heard. Maybe the voice of a scared little girl who wants to go home, or a troublesome teen who goal in life is to survive.
She glanced at the clock She closed her notebook. Time was up.
I left her office without saying a word. Not a 'goodbye' or a 'see ya later'. Oh well. I don't really care. Or do I? I honestly have no idea about me anymore. Ever since I arrived here it's like I'm a different person. I'm much more quiet and to myself then my normal 'Out-There-Wild-Child' act.
Since I was relatively new here I had to be escorted everywhere. They treat me like I'm a little kid that had to be constantly watched or else I might do something bad. Everyone here is always telling me "Make the right decisions and you will go far." Bullshit. I stood outside her office and I waited for my escort. Her name is Caitlin. She seems friendly. I never really had a real conversation with her. Just the usual "Hi" and "See ya". But I bet if we did have a nice long talk she would be the kind of person that would understand. I guess she just has that vibe.
Now I am entering the door to 'Group Therapy'. Where a small group of girls with different issues sit in a circle and discuss said issues or just gossip or even talk about family life. I'm not a big talker. But I'll join in on an interesting discussion such as a debate on cafeteria food.
I sat in my normal seat. I sit next to Deanna and Kristen. Deanna is a fellow druggie. Her addiction was marijuana. We are somewhat friends. Better yet, we're acquaintances. Kristen is one of the anorexic girls. She has to be one of the skinniest girls I have ever seen. She is also my roommate. We will talk before lights out and tell each other funny stories. We're cool.
"Would anyone care to start?" Emmiline, the group leader asked. No one moved. "I'm sure ay least one of you has something to say..."
"I'll start." The girl sitting next to Kristen raised her hand. Her name is Jackie. Like Kristen, Jackie has an eating disorder. Except she is bulimic. She opened her mouth to speak. "Last night I had this dream..." I got lost from there. Lost in my own thoughts. I couldn't hear what Jackie was saying. All I could hear was Maureen's mooing. Those six words just brought me back in time. To a better time. When everything was good and happy. God, I wish I could go back to that day...
"Does anyone have any comments?" I came back into focus. My little daydream disappeared and I was back in this torture chamber in the circle of chairs. "Mimi?" Why does she always call on me? Me? Can't she call someone else? My goodness, this woman is driving me mad. I look at Emmiline. She was obviously waiting for a response. I looked at everyone else. They too were waiting.
"Uhh, Not really." I pipe out. I couldn't give a proper answer. I wasn't even paying attention to the story.
"I had a similar dream like that." Chelsea the girl sitting next to Deanna said. I'm not so sure why she is here in this fabulous facility. I think she might have a problem with cutting herself. She always wears long sleeves and she never rolls them up. No matter how high the temperature in the room. "Except for my dream took place in Times Square on new years eve..." New Years Eve. One of the finest nights of my life. It was all of us. Me, Roger, Maureen in her cat suit, Joanne, Mark, Collins aka James Bond and Angel, aka Pussy Galore...In person! Angel. I miss her so much. Just staying up all night talking on the phone about girly stuff. Going shopping. All the things you would do with your best friend. And Angel was definitely the best friend a girl could ever have...
My attention was brought back to Group. Everything was silent. I guessed Chelsea finished her story. "Does anyone have anything else to share?" Emmiline asked us. We all glanced at each other. Nothing. What was there to talk about? I don't have anything to say? Do I? I don't think so. "Well, Visiting Day is coming up next week. Does anyone know if they have a loved one who is coming?"
"My mom and dad are coming." Deanna said. Emmiline nodded.
"Are you happy about that?" Emmiline asked.
"I guess, I mean they are my parents. I just think that sometimes they get disappointed in me..." Disappointed parents. I know what that feels like. My mother and father were never satisfied with anything I did. My grades were to low. My attitude was to snotty. And my personal favorite "Dancing is not a career." As if they knew everything. They did know that dancing was my life. My parents and I always got into altercations about me being on the dance team or me wanting to try to get a scholarship for dancing. They said that dancing wasn't a "suitable life for a young lady.". Bite me. I don't care what they say. I love to dance. And it is my passion.
"Mimi are you expecting anyone on visiting day?" Emmiline's voice startled me and got my out of my own little world. I froze. Who was coming...oh yeah...
"Umm, My boyfriend is coming." My boyfriend? That sounds so 8th grade. Sure Roger is my boyfriend. But it just sounded funny calling him that.
"Are you happy to get to see him?" She asked. Well, he is my boyfriend. Why would I not be happy to see him. Duh! What is she brain dead or something. Who wouldn't want to see the love of their life after being locked up in a looney bin for the past three weeks?
"Ecstatic" I said. And I really was. I can't wait to see Roger next Thursday. It will just bring light into my life. And he did. I just wish I could be in his arms at this very moment. I'd feel so safe and secure. Two things I don't feel much here.
Maybe I'll get better soon. Maybe I'll prove to them I can. Maybe I'll leave and be reunited with the people I love. Maybe...
Love it? Hate it?
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