A very long A/N: Greetings, faithful readers! This is the final chapter, and the longest so far. My original plan was to get all of the characters together for a barbecue, but instead I decided to show how each of them has grown since the beginning of the fic. I'm particularly satisfied with the bits involving Rikku and Axel. Paine's journal entry wasn't in my plan, but I've received positive reviews about them in the past, and I like writing them, so it seemed fitting to put on in the final chapter.
There's a special reason why I stayed up late last night finishing it. I wanted to submit this last chapter on my birthday – which just happens to be today, Thursday the 3rd of May, 2007. So this is my birthday present to myself.
Now for a few acknowledgements for my favourite reviewers. Vampiremist, my very first reviewer – thanks for your continued support and encouragement right through to chapter 20. KHNeko, another persistent and enthusiastic reviewer who has been reading this fic since very early on. Sassy Aloo, you've declared your love both for me and this fic and I'd like to take this opportunity to reciprocate. I love you! Shadow Shiningheart, I'm not sure I deserve the title of goddess but thank you so much for reviewing. Lifes-Number-1-hater, Roxas and Demyx appreciate your support and would like to name their first child after you. Haninozuka Mitsukuni, I haven't heard from you for a while and I hope you're still reading. PS, can I have Demyx back? I hope he's not still tied to that chair. BeautifulDementia, I haven't heard from you for a while either. If you're still out there, give me a review. Sakuuraba, I'm sorry my fic distracted you from your biology homework. Zexion never did find out about the 'hott gay buttsmex' (as you put it) that occurred on his bed. Darkchild, I'm amazed you're still reading this despite not having an account. Your repeated encouragement to update inspires me to write faster.
And finally, The Masquerade Moth. I hope you didn't think I'd forgotten you. You're my favourite reviewer of all, because of your wonderful enthusiasm for my fic and our weird little PM conversations involving Real-life Xigbar and Fanfic Xigbar. I enjoyed our serious conversations too.
So here it is. The end. I don't plan on writing a sequel or an epilogue or anything else. Oh, and quick Yuri warning, but you're probably OK with that.
"Poke."
"Meow."
"Poooooke…"
"Meow."
"Poke poke."
"Purrrrrrr… meow."
"What the fuck?" Paine opened one eye warily, found herself staring into a big green one and promptly shut it again. Something cold and damp pushed itself against her cheek and a couple of tickly whiskers found their way up her nose. There was a weight pressed against her chest, and in the background someone was giggling inanely. At least her arm was no longer being poked by a sharp, bony finger.
"We know you're awake." Rikku said after she'd managed to put a lid on her giggles. The weight on her chest shifted and Paine felt something leathery and furry rest against her cheek. She risked opening her eyes again and found that she had a face full of paw and Death was purring madly.
"What time is it?" The goth asked hoarsely. Clearing her throat, she turned her head slowly to avoid the extension of claws and peered at her bedside clock. "Rikku… I know you like to get up early, but six o clock?"
"Zexion and Fuu are awake and eating breakfast and you said you'd share your bad news when he was a awake to hear it and we're all curious to know what it is, well I'm guessing Fuu is too coz she doesn't speak much and sometimes you can't tell is it OK if she knows too I mean she is Zexion's girlfriend and you were gonna let me in on the secret… where are you going?"
"Shower." Paine croaked, already out of the room and on her way to the bathroom. There were certain times of day when she could endure her friend's babbling, and six o clock in the morning was not one of them. Death, miffed at being shoved unceremoniously off of the goth's chest, wound her way around Rikku's legs, meowing insistently to be fed.
Paine took her time in the shower, letting the hot water stream over her tired body until she was almost comfortable enough to fall asleep. Relaying the news to Zexion was not something she was looking forward to. She didn't think expect him to be devastated, it was just that this huge part of their lives was suddenly missing. Last night she'd shed tears because she was used to its presence and didn't know how to react to its removal. With a large part of the evil in her life gone, she felt disoriented. Besides, she had never wanted things to turn out this way.
Emerging from the shower dripping wet, Paine groped for her towel and found it underneath Rikku's pink one, hanging on the hook on the wall. She walked back to her room with the towel wrapped around her body, dried herself off, found some clean clothes and dressed herself in them, then towelled her hair dry and rubbed moisturiser into her face. Morning routine finished (makeup would have to wait), the goth went downstairs to face the music and found Zexion, Rikku and Fuu seated at the dining table, waiting for her.
She took her seat at the head of the table, their gazes creeping her out. Eventually, Fuu lost her patience and said, "Talk."
Nodding her head slightly, Paine clasped her hands together and told them about the phone call.
"Sephiroth was stabbed the day before yesterday." She said bluntly, still not inclined to call him Dad. "Another inmate got hold of something sharp, a piece of glass or something, they haven't found the weapon so they're not sure."
She paused, and out of the corner of her eye, saw Zexion bite his lip. Despite everything, the emo cared a little about whether his father had been seriously hurt. Paine remembered something she'd learned in Psychology. Sometimes people who'd been emotionally abused ended up forming ties with their abusers, even went back to live with them after they'd been rescued by the police. Zexion's emotional tie with Sephiroth didn't extend that far, but he obviously didn't hate the man as much as he thought he did. Neither did she, Paine reflected, if she was really honest. Sephiroth had been a horrible man in every aspect of his life, but she didn't believe that he was evil.
"He… he died in the early hours of yesterday morning." She continued, avoiding her brother's gaze. "Prison doctors aren't exactly the best, and the wound was pretty deep. Stabbed in the stomach, wound got infected… there wasn't much of a chance, really."
Fuu tilted her head as she watched a tear trickle down her boyfriend's cheek. Just a single tear, not followed by another. That's all Zexion would spare for Sephiroth. Wrapping her arms around him, she rubbed her cheek against his arm, encouraging him to open up and let her hug him. Zexion responded by opening his arms and hugging her tightly, needing this comfort to help him make sense of the situation. A huge weight had been lifted from his chest, but at the same time he'd lost someone who had played a big part in his childhood.
"This is stupid." He muttered. "I should be happy that he's dead."
One of Paine's hands was clasped tightly with Rikku's, but she put the other on Zexion's arm supportively. "It's good that you're not. No one deserves death. The fact that you can show compassion means that you're better than him."
"I just wish things were different. I wish we had a proper family."
"What are we then?" Rikku demanded. "Paine's your sister and I'm kind of like a sister… more like a cousin really, but you know what I mean…"
"It's OK. I know." Zexion told her gently, lifting his head from Fuu's shoulder to smile at the blonde before she could go on one of her verbal binges. The emo girl lifted her head to whisper something in his ear, and he nodded decisively. "Right. We have to do that thing."
"What thing?" Paine asked suspiciously.
Rikku grinned deviously. "That thing where we leave the house and you stay here on your own."
"Huh?"
"Trust." Fuu told the goth, giving her a firm look. She got out of her seat and led Zexion out of the room. Rikku winked at her friend and followed them. Paine soon heard the front door slam.
"…what?"
"Meow."
"I wasn't talking to you."
Axel lived in a council house with no doorbell, which meant that he was woken by an enthusiastic knocking on the front door. His mother had already left for work, his father had left ten years ago and never come back. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and pulling on a pair of jeans to make himself look vaguely presentable, the redhead stumbled downstairs, fluffing up his hair, which was always flattened at the back in the mornings.
"I'm coming!" He grumbled as the knocking continued, his visitor determined not to give up. At least he hadn't woken with a headache for once in his pitiful existence. Thank God for small blessings. Wait a sec, why hadn't he woken with a headache? Oh yeah, he'd ended up at that big friendly happy-fest last night. Damn Zexion and his little girly friends.
Approaching the sound of the knocking, he reached for the door handle, getting it at the second attempt, vision still blurred with sleep. The door swung open to reveal a grinning blonde wearing bright pink shorts, a tiny white t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops.
"Rikku." He grunted.
"Yep!"
"Why?"
The blonde pushed past him, uninvited, and ventured into his kitchen, where she found the kettle, filled it from the tap and put it on to boil. "You're just like Paine in the morning, only less cute."
"What?" It was far too early in the day for this, Axel decided with a yawn.
"You need coffee, grumpyhead." Rikku clarified, opening cupboards at random until she found the mugs.
"I know. Why are you here?" His brain had finally started working, and was wondering why he had let her in. Oh yeah – he hadn't.
Opening the jar marked 'coffee', Rikku gave an exploratory sniff. "Why do you keep tea in the coffee jar?" She asked.
"Um… Mum just shoves stuff in the first jar she finds. Look in the one that says 'sugar'."
Locating the jar he spoke of, Rikku sniffed the contents and decided that it was probably coffee. She took an almost-clean spoon from the sink and measured out a couple of spoonfuls of coffee into the mug.
"Um, Rikku?"
"What?" She asked, preoccupied.
"Why the fuck are you in my house, opening my cupboards and sniffing my coffee?" He demanded, rubbing his head, which was starting to feel hangover-ish after all.
The blonde put the lid back on the jar with a smile and replaced it on the shelf. "We're going fishing!" She announced cheerfully.
The kettle started to boil.
"Fishing?"
"Yep!"
"You woke me up to go fishing with you?"
Rikku grabbed the kettle and started to pour boiled water into the mug. "You're a little slow in the mornings aren't ya?"
Groaning, the redhead sat down at the kitchen table and rested his head on the cool, smooth surface. "How the fuck do you even know where I live?"
"That's easy. Zexy told me." Placing the mug in front of him and taking the seat next to him, Rikku rested her chin on her hands so that she was at Axel's eye level when he raised his head to glare at her.
"Bloody traitor." Axel gave the coffee an experimental sniff. Mmm. Just what he needed. Taking a cautious sip – the mug was hot – he sighed heavily, realising just who he was faced with here. "You're not gonna let me get out of this, are you?"
"Nope."
Axel sighed again and focused on his coffee, drinking it slowly in small sips. As caffeine started to flow through his veins, he found himself able to tolerate Rikku's cheerfulness without burying his head under the covers and moaning loudly to himself until she was gone.
"OK then." He said, setting down the empty mug and realising that Rikku had managed to stay quiet for at least fifteen minutes. "Let's go fishing."
"What time is it?" Demyx asked nervously.
Roxas checked his watch for the hundredth time. "Five to one. They should be here any second."
The musician bit his lip nervously and drummed his fingers on the table. "What if they don't show up? What if they don't like me?"
Covering his boyfriend's hand with his own, Roxas gazed into his eyes reassuringly. "They'll like you. They have to."
Demyx turned his hand over and squeezed the larger one covering it, then dropped it and gave the younger boy a helpless look. "But what if they don't?"
Resisting the urge to kill his boyfriend, Roxas stood up and waved his parents over. They'd just entered the restaurant and were looking around for their son. Quickly checking himself to make sure he was presentable, the musician stood up, assembling what he hoped was a friendly smile upon his face.
"Hello darling." Roxas's mother said, happily pulling her son into a bone-crushing hug. "Your father and I missed you so much! Are you eating well?"
"Mu-um!" The blonde gasped, pulling away. "I'm fine!"
His father stood back a little, scrutinising Demyx warily. "Is this your…"
"This is Demyx." Roxas introduced. Holding out his hand, the musician found it being enveloped in a firm grip and tried not to let the pain show on his face. The man was obviously testing him, and he intended to show him that he wasn't weak. Demyx suddenly felt self-conscious of his messy hair, chewed fingernails and the painful red spot that had appeared on his forehead that morning.
Introductions over with, the four of them sat down, Demyx slightly dismayed to find himself opposite Roxas's father. Now the man would have ample opportunity to study him, waiting for him to slip up. He didn't need that kind of pressure while he was eating.
To start with, the conversation wasn't too stressful, Roxas's mother asking him about school and other mundane things, his father quietly watching Demyx across the table and the musician smiling politely every time the older woman asked him a question. Before the conversation could dwindle into an awkward silence, they were approached by a fat, sweaty man holding four menus – the owner of the restaurant, Pete Black. As this was a small, local restaurant, Pete didn't have the budget to hire many staff, and besides, he was famous for being tight with his money. Among many of the jobs which he handled himself rather than hire help, was waiting tables.
"Hey there, folks!" He greeted cheerfully, a fake smile on his face, eyes practically lighting up with money signs. "Take a squint at these, and I'll be back to take your orders in just a sec."
The menus were handed out and a silence fell over the table as everyone chose their meals. Demyx shifted uncomfortably in his chair, certain that whatever he chose would be analysed by his boyfriend's father. To be on the safe side, he opted for a simple beef burger, hoping that the man wasn't a vegetarian or something.
"So. Demyx." Roxas's father said as he put down his menu, the first time he'd spoken since they sat down. "I hope you're taking good care of my son."
His tone was neutral, but the musician thought he heard a slight threat in the older man's words. "Yes, o-of course I am." He stuttered, and added "Sir." for good measure. Answering in such a defensive tone probably wasn't the best way to handle that question, but trying to correct his answer would just dig him into a hole. Better to hold the man's gaze and wait for him to speak again.
"Glad to hear it." He said after a long pause and an appraising look. "What exactly are your intentions?"
"Uh… I'm not sure what you mean, sir." Demyx swallowed and felt a warm hand on his thigh. Roxas was reassuring him.
"Do you love him?" The older man asked.
"Yes." Turning his head, the musician looked at his boyfriend, sure of the truth in his answer. He did love Roxas, deeply and compassionately. "With all my heart."
Roxas's mother spoke up. "I know we weren't very accepting at first, Demyx, but if that's how you both feel, I'm happy to welcome you into my family."
"Thank you ma'am." Demyx responded with a smile. Roxas's father may not be the easiest man to please, but he found it easy to like the younger boy's mother.
The older man looked like he was about to say something, but before he could open his mouth, Pete returned with a notepad and asked for their orders. When he left to relay this information to the chef, the conversation switched back to Roxas's academic performance, and whatever he was going to say was soon forgotten.
The doorbell rang just as Paine had sat in front of the TV, still wondering why she'd been instructed to stay inside the house. A bowl of cornflakes was precariously balanced on her lap and she was hunched over them, trying to eat them with her gaze fixed on the TV screen without spilling them down herself.
Frowning at this interruption of the cartoon she'd never heard of before but had become totally absorbed in, Paine put her breakfast to one side and went to open the door.
There was a cute Japanese girl standing shyly on Rikku's front porch, smiling up at her as she raised one eyebrow at this unexpected (yet entirely welcome) appearance.
"Hi." Paine said, eyebrow still high on her forehead.
"Hi." Yuffie responded, grin widening at her girlfriend's bewildered reaction. "You're probably wondering why I'm here."
"Not really." The goth replied with a mischievous smile, pulling her inside the house and kissing her thoroughly, exploring the familiar mouth with her tongue and only letting her go when she ran out of breath. "OK, why are you here?" She asked, breathing heavily. "Not that I mind, of course…" One hand trailed down the smaller girl's jacket, taking hold of the zip and pulling it downwards.
"Blame your brother. He phoned me at God-knows-when in the morning and told me to come over. Said he and Rikku had an evil plan to get us back to where we used to be."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Paine asked, slipping a hand inside the now open jacket and cupping Yuffie's right breast.
The Japanese girl moved closer. "Well, I guess he meant we've been less close recently."
"I noticed." The jacket fell to the floor.
"And I miss…" Yuffie closed her eyes as Paine started to caress her, moving both hands across the exposed surfaces of her skin, then slipping one hand inside her t-shirt, pressing it flat against her back and pulling her closer. "I miss this." Yuffie murmured, leaning in for another kiss.
"Me too." The goth's response was swallowed by lips eager to re-familiarise themselves with her own. They moved downwards to suck at her neck while small, warm hands slipped underneath her top and undid her bra.
They moved upstairs to Paine's bedroom, shedding clothes as they went, Yuffie's hands becoming more adventurous, the goth allowing her to play the dominant role for once. Paine's heart was racing and she realised that she was nervous, as if this was their first time all over again. As she pulled her girlfriend onto the bed and Yuffie straddled her, fingers running over her rapidly hardening nipples, the goth was reminded of their love for each other. It had been missing in the past couple of months, although she hadn't noticed this until now.
Yuffie slipped a finger inside her and she let herself relax, arching into the mattress, welcoming back what she had missed, this mixture of love and ecstasy that had kept her going throughout her father's betrayal and her brother's suicide attempt. A nimble tongue licked her, massaging her most sensitive area, building up the ecstasy and love until she came harder than ever before, gasping and panting and crying Yuffie's name, arching her back then collapsing into a shivering mess. She felt her girlfriend (her lover)'s hands slowly massaging her thighs, bringing her back into coherence with strokes and kisses and gentle bites.
Regaining her dominance, Paine pulled the smaller girl into her embrace, stroking her arms and burying her face in her dark brown hair. When she recovered fully, it would be her turn to dominate, and she was determined to make Yuffie as delirious as she had just made her, but for now both girls were satisfied with each other's presence, happy to hold each other, sharing small kisses and revelling in the scent of each other, re-discovering it after their time apart.
Downstairs in the living room, a bowl of cornflakes lay forgotten on the coffee table, slowly turning soggy in the now warm milk.
Their food had arrived and Roxas and his mother were happily talking about his plans for the future. The blonde wanted to go on to university to do a degree in science, preferably something human biology.
"What about you, Demyx?" The older woman asked, turning to the musician, who had already finished his burger. "Any plans for the future?"
"Oh, uh, I don't have any definite plans, as such." He replied, remembering his conversation with Mr Lexaeus at the winter ball. "I was thinking of taking a gap year after finishing sixth form, take a break from school, you know? But I'd really like to be a teacher."
Roxas smiled, imagining his boyfriend in front of a class of thirty young children, trying to explain simple arithmetic and stuttering adorably. Then again, Demyx was pretty good with children. He completely lost his nervousness when he was around them, telling them jokes and chasing them around the park, laughing and completely at ease with himself. He'd probably make a great teacher.
"How wonderful." His mother smiled. "Teaching can be very rewarding."
"But it doesn't exactly pay well, does it?" His father said.
"N-no, I guess not. I hadn't really thought about that." Demyx looked down at his plate.
"Money isn't everything." Roxas's mother said, shooting her husband a warning look. "As long as he's doing something worthwhile, why should we challenge his choice of career?"
"I'm only expressing my concern." The older man replied gruffly. "If our son hopes to have a future with this boy, he's going to have to face up to reality."
"Do you expect Demyx to support Roxas on his own?" She shot back. "With a joint income, they'll manage."
"Simple as that, is it? They'll find jobs, buy a house, settle down, adopt kids – they'll let anyone raise children these days – and live happily ever after? Is that your naïve view of their future together? You think that they'll be accepted, just like that, two men living together?"
Roxas's mother put down her fork and glared at him, anger showing on her middle-aged, slightly wrinkled face. "We've been through this. You promised that you wouldn't allow your prejudices to ruin our relationship with our son. If you can't-"
"Enough." Roxas said suddenly. "Dad, I'm not worried about our future. Right now I'm just trying to get through school, get good enough grades to reach uni. I don't even know if we'll be together in five or six years time, but I hope we will be, and if we are, we'll deal with things as they come along. Nothing you say will stop me from loving him."
The intense silence that followed this outburst was almost painful. Eyes were cast downwards, Roxas's father too stubborn to apologise but too proper to follow it up with a heated statement of his own. Roxas turned his glare away from the older man to attack his food. Demyx stared at the table purely in embarrassment, knowing that he was the cause of this.
"Take no notice of your father, love." His mother told Roxas softly, finally breaking the silence. "Come back home and he'll soon get used to the idea." She smiled sadly. "We miss you."
"Mum, I appreciate the effort you've made and I'm glad you're happy for me and Demyx, but I'm happy living with him." Roxas held his mother's gaze and hoped she understood.
A brief nod showed him that she did. "I understand. I'm not happy, but I understand."
"Thanks Mum." He told her sincerely.
Although they didn't have the lake entirely to themselves, they were the only fishers. A couple of picnickers had laid their blanket on the other side of the lake, which meant that Axel and Rikku were practically alone.
Chewing on a piece of grass, Axel lay on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes to protect them from the sun, the other loosely holding his fishing rod. Rikku lay next to him, her shoes having been kicked off in random directions.
Turning to the blonde, Axel squinted against the sun. "At the risk of sounding repetitive, why the fuck are we here?"
"Fishing." Rikku murmured, shifting her grip on her own rod into a more comfortable position. Lying in the sun always tired her out, and made her less talkative than usual.
"Yeah, I got that bit. But why me? You could'a turned up at Yuna's door-"
"Vegetarian."
"OK." Axel raised an eyebrow. Rikku was starting to sound like Fuu. "Paine then?"
"We had a secret evil plan to get her and Yuffie to bond." Rikku paused to suppress a giggle. "Hee hee. Bond. Bondage. Anyway, it involved leaving them alone in the house together. So I had to go somewhere."
"But fishing?"
The blonde shrugged. "Me and Dad used to fish all the time. I missed having someone to do it with. And me and you are kinda friends, right?"
"Um, yeah. I guess we are." Axel smiled to himself, glad that the girl couldn't see his face.
"But we're don't spend much time together, so I thought it might be nice."
"It is."
They lay in companionable silence for a while, listening to the birds sing and the occasional splash as something broke the surface of the water. Nothing was biting, but neither of them cared. Fishin' ain't about catching fish. Cid used to say that to Rikku. 's about you an' me an' nature.
Something occurred to Axel just as he was about to doze off. "Hey, Rikku?"
It took her a second to reply and he guessed that she had been napping, too. "Yeah?"
"Are we turning into a couple?"
He heard a rustling and glanced over to see the blonde turned onto her side, looking at him with a strange expression. "I dunno. Are we?"
Frowning slightly, the redhead considered the situation. "We do seem pretty… couply."
"Do you want to be a couple?"
"Not really. We'd end up killing each other. And you're not really my type."
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Rikku turned back onto her back.
Axel listened to a couple of birds singing to each other. Probably mating season, wasn't it? No, he really didn't want to think about that. Roxas's throwaway comment yesterday had gone to his head. Before that, he hadn't even considered dating Rikku. She was like a sister to him, one that he hadn't really been close to before, but was getting to know better. This was the first time he'd been friends with a girl without wanting it to go further, and he liked it that way.
"Hey, Rikku?"
"Yeah?"
"Promise me something."
"Is it a weird promise?"
"Kind of."
"OK then. I like weird promises."
Axel turned his head and saw that she was looking at him again. "Promise we'll never be a couple."
She smiled at him. "Hmm. That is a weird promise."
"Told ya so." Axel grinned.
Rikku put a hand on his arm. "I promise we'll never be a couple."
The redhead nodded. "Cool."
Paine fired up her laptop. As Yuffie had been reluctant to let her go, she had brought the computer to the bed, so that she could lie on her front and type with her girlfriend lying next to her.
"What're you writing?" The Japanese girl asked sleepily.
The goth paused in her typing to kiss Yuffie on the tip of her nose, then returned to the keyboard. "My blog."
Love is a subject touched upon by many artists, poets and writers. Some compare it to nature, some link it to desire and some believe that it is inevitably followed by dramatic heartbreak and betrayal.
Until now, I have not spoken of love. The subjects I choose for my blog are ones close to my heart, and love did not previously feature heavily in my life. But now that I am in a better position to understand it, I find myself wanting to write about love.
Love is when the person lying next to you turns and gives you a look meant for you alone, a look that you know no one else will ever see. Love is when is hurts to be away, and reunion is the sweetest bliss. Love is when you can't help but sound fucking poetic because you've been infected and nothing can stop you from pouring your heart into this person and trust them to keep it safe.
I'll stop before I make you sick. That would have been my reaction only yesterday. It might be my reaction tomorrow, or a few days from now, when the afterglow has worn off. But I know this: even if time, sickness or death itself part us, if I lose my mind and can't even remember my own name, if we drift apart and can't stand to be around each other any more, I will always remember what it is like to have been in love.
Re-reading what she'd written, Paine had a sudden urge to delete the romantic crap, but she stopped herself. It was in her nature to be truthful, and besides, this could serve as a reminder for her in ten or twenty or even fifty years time, when she'd become jaded and forgotten that there is such thing as love in the world. Rolling her eyes and realising that she'd hate herself for it tomorrow, Paine clicked 'submit' before she could change her mind.
Kairi stood at the back of the suffocatingly sterile, white room, watching Roxas say his goodbyes. She remembered the first time she'd seen him in this room, more than a year after she'd started visiting weekly. The blonde had acted awkwardly towards her at first, ashamed of the way he'd avoided her since the accident. Since then they'd been visiting Sora regularly together, building up their relationship again, talking about little, everyday things as well as more serious topics, such as Riku. Just last week, Kairi had received a letter from India, saying that Riku was learning the ways of Buddhism and didn't intend to return any time soon. Although her first instinct was to be worried by this, Kairi was glad that Rikku had found a direction in life. As long as he was happy, it wasn't her place to question his choice of lifestyle. In her letter back, she hadn't mentioned Sora. Rikku was trying to put the past behind him, and she respected that.
They'd known for a while that it was unlikely that Sora was going to wake up, but Kairi had stored the fact in the back of her mind, focusing instead on enjoying her time with Roxas and treasuring her time with Sora. She was fairly sure that the younger boy had done the same, almost denying that the time would come when the machines would be switched off.
But now that time was three days away, and it was time to face facts. Sora was dead, had been dead for quite some time. His comatose state had only served to give false hope.
"Demyx and I had lunch with Mum and Dad today." Roxas was telling his brother. "You should have seen the colour of Dad's face. He was trying so hard to keep a lid on what he really wanted to say."
"You're Mum's pretty cool though." Demyx spoke up. He'd been with Roxas to visit Sora a couple of times, and was used to talking to the unconscious boy, although it still felt weird seeing as he'd never met Sora when he was awake.
"Yeah, she wanted me to come home, but I said I'd rather stay with Demyx. I felt guilty about leaving home, now that I'm their only son and all. You know." Turning to his boyfriend, Roxas felt tears spill from his eyes. The musician wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed encouragingly.
"Um." Roxas took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his face. "I just wanted to say, before they… while I still have the chance… um, this may sound stupid because I don't even know if you can hear me. But, I guess if you can't hear me, you won't be able to think I'm stupid."
Another deep breath. "So… I'll just say it anyway. Before the accident, when you were… still around, I was always following you around, trying to be like you. You were the perfect brother, the model son, and all I wanted was to be the same. Mum and Dad saw you as the grown up, responsible one, and I was like a younger version of you."
At some point, Kairi must have stepped forward, because Roxas felt her hand on his other shoulder. "When you ended up like this, they tried to treat me like they'd treated you," he continued, "but I realised that we're not the same. It's given me the chance to get to know myself and show Mum and Dad who I really am. And my new independence has helped me to come to terms with your death. You've been dead for a while now, Sora, I just didn't want to admit it. I needed there to be a chance because I couldn't face life without you. But now it's time to let you go."
Roxas turned away and left Demyx and Kairi standing by the bed as he scooped up the pile of compost that had once been flowers and dumped it in the bin, something he should have done a long time ago. Dead things shouldn't be left to rot in a sickly white room, forgotten. They should be returned to the earth, allowed to fertilise new flowers and kept alive in the memory, in their full glory.
He was about to leave the room for the last time, but an exclamation of surprise from behind him stopped him in his tracks.
"R-Roxas…" Kairi gasped, hope shining through her voice. Not daring to acknowledge it, Roxas returned to the bedside, his heart skipping a beat at what he saw. He wasn't prepared for this, he had no idea how to react. The onslaught of relief and excitement and pure happiness that flooded him was too much to handle, and some defence mechanism must have kicked in because it all faded away to a dull throb and all that Roxas was able to focus on was the figure in the bed. Everything else swam around him, only half real.
In the background, he vaguely heard Demyx saying, "I never saw the resemblance before. Your face and hair are so different, I'd never have known that you were brothers. But now I get it." He paused to look up at his boyfriend's face, then back down at the older boy in the bed.
"You have the same eyes."