Disclaimer: Do not own them.

Title: Battle of the Boy Bands

Summary: BotBB is holding its 4076th Boy Band competition, and any band that means anything anywhere is there. When two rivaling Planet's top B-Band go head-to-antenna, who will come out on top? Fluff-ish Crack-ish ZaDR

Warnings: Yaoi Cussing PWP (Kinda) OOC

Couple: DibZim TakGaz RedPurple (A Little) DwickyDib

Written By: Shino

Inspired By: . . . . . Shino really doesn't know ;;

Comments: This makes me giggle, profusely, and if you are actually reading this, I feel sorry for your poor, poor soul. Tch.

Lyrics (centered) – people in story are listening/can hear it.

Lyrics (centered) - put in for my amusement. (AKA, they cannot hear it)

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Anachronism

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It is the biggest competition for the century and no one wants to miss out but, you have to pass certain requirements to get in, they don't let just anyone in, not like when it was just a 'Milky Way' thing, now that it has spread throughout the Universe, only the highly regarded can join, if they please.

No one ever passes up an offer.

All planets fight each other, trying to be in the top 500, most never make it into the top 10,000. The two planets that never seem to be short of good talent has always had a rivalry though, way before this ever started up, in the 20th Century, if you are counting in 'Earthly' years, or the 593rd Gluxon, in 'Irken'.

The two that started this 'Rivalry' are dead, and only shortly after, each race found their very own 'Everlasting Youth' fountain, if you may, mainly made out of components they stole from each other. Time passes differently on each planet though; a 'Day' is equal to 304 'Duions', 'English' word for 'Days', for Irken's. Every planet has a different time scheme, for some, time never moves, others, it does not have a certain 'course', but every planet, in every universe, set everything around this event.

This means EVERYthing. Whoever wins gets to HAND pick EVERY member of the Universal Society of Unixo Cuewqi Keeping, or the U.S.U.C.K. Organization. 'Unixo Cuewqi' is the Irken's way of saying 'Get These Filthy Humans Off Our Backs' but is more Universally known as 'Peace'.

Every year it has been a tie, furthering the hatred between the two planets, but this year is more important then the others, because the two most influential YOUNG beings were entering.

This is their story of love, hate and everything in between.

-----

A human looked around, not surprised by all the odd-looking beings swarming around him. The hand holding his tightened as one particularly horrendous one passed. He glanced up; the other human looked positively horrified, brown eyes darting, his free hand shakily musing dark hair and pressing a small goatee flat, again. "Dwicky." Dib reached up and lightly rubbed the mans arm. "Calm down, it only makes them act scarier if they see you like this."

Dwicky shifted slightly closer, eyes catching Dib gaze. A small smile tweaked his lips, "Yeah, I know. It's just." He shivered, leaned down and pressed his lips against the boy's temple. "Look at them." The lips go lower and tease the corner of the boy's lips. "Their hideous, Dib."

Dib chuckled and turned slightly, kissing the man, "They're probably thinking the same thing about you."

"Augh!" Dwicky cried softly in mock surprise, stealing another kiss. "That may be, but I bet they all wish they had you with them." Another kiss followed this.

"Hmmm," Dib freighted thought and glanced around. He reached out and flicked a lazy hand in the direction of a wolf-like creature that was conversing with a bright yellow light but was, at intervals, looking over at them. "I think I may just accept his offer. He doesn't look that bad, no?"

Dwicky pouted and covered Dib's mouth with his own, a tongue sliding out to lick at the teens lips. "Bested by an Anthroinum. That's almost worse that the can of soup you choice over me."

Dib stuck his tongue out childishly and he turned away, attention being drawn away by something else. "Hold that thought." He pushed against the mans chest, and dropped the hand. His gold eyes flashed and he crossed his arms, loathing evident in his eyes.

"Well, well. If it isn't a stink-beast." A stripped pink tongue darted out and licked green lips, tone bordering on amusement and boredom. "Didn't know that they were doing a charity act this go 'round."

It was said in the human's native tongue; Dib narrowed his eyes further, and uncrossed his arms, trying to appear as unabashed as the other. "I know, because if I had known, I wouldn't be so surprised to see you here today, Zim." The name was said with pure hate.

Zim growled, fake hair hindering his vision. "You have no RIGHT to say Zim's name, filthy HUUUman." They were face to face now, one, half a foot taller than the other, it infuriated Zim, seeing how he is tall for his race and height is regarded highly.

"Then may I call you," A pause, Dib smirked; proud he has gotten a rise out of the other. "Zimmy?"

Propelled by anger, Zim launched himself at the human, grabbing onto the humans scythe lock on top of its head, yanking as hard as he could.

A hand reached out, snagged the collar adorning Zim's neck, and yanked him back.

"Do you want to make Irk look bad! Fight with the ugly beast later!" Purple eyes flinted from Zim to the fallen Dib. Curled antenna moved up and down showing annoyance. "We need to go, Zim."

Zim lashed out at his captor, and missed. "Let me GO, Tak!" The hand let go of their restraining hold and Zim glared. "This isn't over." He growled at Dib, who was being helped up by Dwicky. "See you later, Diblet!"

Dib growled back. "Bye-bye, Zimmy." He watched the Irken leave, flopping back against Dwicky, when Zim was out of sight, with a sigh.

"Huh, interesting chemistry." Dwicky looked down at the teen, arms wrapping around his middle, finger idly playing with the pink metal ball.

"Well," Dib started, relaxing further at the attention. "At least you don't have to worry about being bested by that fucker."

Dwicky chuckled, fingers tugging at the metal. "But you two would be COOOOOT together." Dwicky leaned down and nipped the top of his ear. "I can just imagine it." His tongue traced the boy's ear. "Him, under you, panting, calling your name, claws-"

Dib cut the man off by twisting around in his arms and pushing up to kiss him. "That's sickening." He moved to deepen the kiss but a voice broke in.

"Faggots need to move onto the preliminary round."

Dib looked behind him, blinking slowly. "What are you talking about Gaz?"

The girl sighed raggedly. "That means, you fucking twit, that it's time to go see if they like your sucky voice. So step away from the cradle-robbing pedophile. We need to go."

Dib pouted and retracted his arms after another quick kiss.

"Lets go then."

-----

"Filthy, FILTHY HUUUman." Zim stomped around the abandoned room he had found. Fists swinging and crashing things off their shelves. "PLAYing sucker fish with that OTHER filthy HUUman. So DISGUSTING." At the last words his hands rose and waved in front of him. His long thin tongue hung from the side of him mouth as he blanched. "Gross."

"Zim?" The door opened and a hesitant face appeared. "Would you like to watch the human perform?" Pink eyes were wide, noticing the damage. A shaky hand reached up and pushed black bangs from his eyes and he flinched back a bit when the Irken turned to him.

"WHY? Would I, ZIM, want to watch the HUUUman?" Zim's eyes narrowed. "ANSWER ME PINK!" He stepped forward and opened the door the rest of the way.

Pink's eyes widened further and he stumbled back.

Hands caught the terrified Irken around the waist and pulled him the it's chest. "Because," A deep voice drawled. "It's good to study the competition."

Zim glared. "You always ruin my fun." He crossed his arms and walked from the room drawing close to the still scared Irken. "Raz won't always be here to protect you Pink." He leaned back, a lazy hand flicking at his own fake hair. "Fine, lead me to the Dib-thing."

Pink cowered against the other, a blue crossing his green cheeks, embarrassed that he always was protected.

Raz just blinked. "I'll always be there." He maneuvered the boy and grabbed his hand, leading him past Zim. "Follow us."

Zim snorted, looking away from the two. "Whatever."

-----

Dib swayed back and forth, headphones in his ears. Hands clutched the microphone in front of him as he pepped himself up.

"What is he doing? We're on a tight schedule." One judge asked, he was the only human judge on the bench.

Gaz glared as she fiddled with her guitar, not liking being interrupted.

"He's getting ready. Give him a moment. He has to get his thoughts straight." Dwicky informed in a soft voice, smiling from behind the drums.

"Okay!" Dib clapped his hands together, headphones still in place. "Let's do this!" He turned to Gaz. "What do you wanna do?"

Gaz barely spared the teen a glance. "Anachronism." Then, she reached to the side and pulled a keyboard to her, automatically starting the song.

Dib's eyes widened, fumbling with his iPod he got ready before starting.

"One. Two. Three. Four!"

Zim entered the room as the human starting singing.

"You can tell

From the scars on my arms

And cracks in my hips

And the dents in my car

And the blisters on my lips

That I'm not the carefullest of boys."

Dib smiled widely as he sang, just swaying a bit through this. He noticed movement in the back of the room and almost faltered but managed to stay on track.

"You can tell

From the glass on the floor

And the strings that're breaking

And I keep on breaking more

And it looks like I am shaking

But it's just the temperature

And then again

If it were any colder I could disengage

If I were any older I could act my age

But I don't think that you'd believe me

It's

Not

The

Way

I'm

Meant

To

Be

It's just the way the operation made me."

Zim's Pak thumped against the wall. The human was better then he thought. He hadn't expected a HUMAN to be good. It just wasn't right.

"And you can tell

From the state of my room

That they let me out too soon

And the pills that I ate

Came a couple years too late

And I've got some issues to work through

There I go again

Pretending to be you

Make-believing

That I have a soul beneath the surface

Trying to convince you

It was accidentally on purpose."

Dib managed to ignore the unwelcome guest and continued. He fell to his knees and dropped his head to look at the floor as he started to next part.

"I am not so serious

This passion is a plagiarism

I might join your century

But only on a rare occasion

I was taken out

Before the labor pains set in and now

Behold the world's worst accident

I am the boy anachronism."

Zim flinched when he saw that his 'companions' saw him react to the humans singing and straightened up, acting as if nothing happened.

"And you can tell

By the red in my eyes

And the bruises on my thighs

And the knots in my hair

And the bathtub full of flies

That I'm not right now at all

There I go again

Pretending that I'll fall

Don't call the doctors

Cause they've seen it all before

They'll say just

Let

Him

Crash

And

Burn

He'll learn

The attention just encourages him."

Dib jumped back up, voice changing just slightly for the 'doctor'. He stuck his tongue out, knowing the tongue twister was coming up.

"And you can tell

From the full-body cast

That I'm sorry that I asked

Though you did everything you could

(Like any decent person would)

But I might be catching so don't touch

You'll start believing you're immune to gravity and stuff

Don't get me wet

Because the bandages will all come off."

Zim growled lowly. This wasn't good. This was supposed to be an easy win for Irk. Damn.

"And you can tell

From the smoke at the stake

That the current state is critical

Well it is the little things, for instance:

In the time it takes to break it he can make up ten excuses:

Please excuse him for the day; it's just the way the medication makes him."

Dib danced around, almost tangling his legs in the cord. He grinned, growing dizzy.

"I don't necessarily believe there is a cure for this

So I might join your century but only as a doubtful guest

I was too precarious removed as a caesarian

Behold the world's worst accident."

Zim sighed and turned to leave, pushing past the other two.

"I AM THE BOY ANACHRONISM

I AM THE BOY ANACHRONISM

I AM THE BOY ANACHRONISM

I AM THE BOY ANACHRONISM

I AM THE BOY

I AM THE BOY

I AM THE BOY

I AM THE BOY ANACHRONISM."

Dib fell as he finished, and looked at the judges happily.

"That." Dib paused to clear his throat. "Takes a lot of breath."

A couple judges glanced up but finished scribbled on a different assortment of writing supplies. They conversed to each other of a moment before the human stood and looked at them seriously. "You do plan on singing that song during the first round do you not?"

Dib, who was being helped up by Dwicky. Nodded. "Of course!" He stuck his tongue out about to bit back his squeal. "Thank you!"

The human smiled. "You're welcome. The lineup will be placed on the message board at about eight your time."

Dib bounced up and down, launching himself at Dwicky. "Okay!" His legs wrapped around the man and he kissed him, not caring about the judges.

HE had just got into the BIGGEST thing in the universe!

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NUU! COME BACK PEOPLE WHO WANT ZaDR AND HATE DaDR!! This is really the only chap that will have this much DaDR in it! I swear!

I had to get it out of my system before I could continue. Sorry! There will still be hints and some kissing and hugging but that's it! Thought the ZaDR won't be coming for a while.

And when it does it'll be COMPLETELY out of place. Anyways.

The song Dib sang Was 'Girl Anachronism' by The Dresden Dolls Only I replaced the 'girl's 'she's and 'her's with 'boy's 'he's and 'him's.

LISTEN TO THE SONG! It ROCKS.

OH, also, for me, Shino, a 'Boy Band' is a band consisting of mainly Boys, the occasional tom-boy, that are pretty, not necessarily N'SYNC or Backstreet Boys or Finger Bang (Dun ask)

So, yea. STFU if you don't like it.

Oh, this will be one of the short chaps. The chaps will usually range from 10-20 pages usually. This was just getting everything in motion.

And I'm rushing so ignore stupid mistakes. But if the petty mistakes bother you too much you go and proof it and e-mail it to me, and I'll put it up. MMMkay? If not, I'll try to proof it and get it up by Wednesday. Kay?

. . . 'the U.S.U.C.K. Organization'

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