Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Naruto, nor do I make any money from using their likenesses. I do this for pure entertainment only.

Warning: This is a SasuNaru work so that means eventual yoai action. If this offends you at all then please exit this story now though thank you very much for having a look. I will not listen to whining later about offensive content- proceed at your own risk.

The Banks of the River Styx

Chapter 1: The Space Between

Sasuke felt himself being jostled lightly back to semi-consciousness, both by the person talking to him in urgent tones and by a sense of movement around him. On his stomach he lay still, too exhausted to move, too exhausted to even consider the possibility of moving.

Whatever he was laying on was soft and vaguely warm, lulling him back into inky blackness where there was no voice telling him to stay awake, where his body didn't hurt, where he didn't have to think about how off everything around him felt.

Something moved inside him, pacing, a half sensed presence shifting around that almost made him want to open his eyes and look down at himself to see what was causing such a sensation.

The key word here was 'almost.'

He felt himself sigh, only a slight remnant of sound, as he began to drift again. His body became heavy, sensation receding as he sank deeper into the dark. He was dying, this he knew, but Sasuke couldn't scrape together enough emotion to really care anymore.

His life was over but still he felt satisfied, peaceful even. He hadn't been able to achieve his ultimate goal but he had managed to finally fulfill his duty, after several long years of torment and hard training. Even after all that, he hadn't been able to do it alone.

Damned blonde idiot. The thought drifted lazily through the dark, dripping with affection. He felt himself try to smile but couldn't make his face move until memory caught up with him, reminding Sasuke once again just how high a price had been paid for defeating Itatchi.

Naruto..! The name echoed inside him, filled with sorrow and sadness, his heart swelling with pain, forcing tears. The emotions gained intensity, binding the Uchiha and the presence inside him closer as both grieved.

There were so many things he had wanted to say, so many things that he had wanted to express but had never known how. His earlier attempts had ended badly, oh so badly, and had driven the blonde away, had driven them apart. And now it was too late to say anything.

It hurt that he would never see his friend again, hurt worst than almost any pain he had ever experienced, right up there with losing his family.

Actually, if the laws of the universe truly wanted to be sadistic, all they would have to do to torture him would be to sit Sasuke down in front of a large TV and replay those two moments on an endless loop for the rest of eternity.

I miss you… Bits and pieces came to him then, making his tears fall faster: flashes of hair the color of the sun, of eyes as blue as a summer sky. Tan skin, a welcoming smile, a mischievous smirk, a thousand other little details that he had never noticed until right then, small idiosyncrasies that were always there, that made Naruto real and vibrant. Some of the images were jumbled, making interpretation difficult, memories he knew were not his own. They added to the whole though, making the Naruto in his mind more life-like, as if Sasuke could reach out and grab hold of his friend if only he could make his stubborn arm, or what was left of it, move.

He felt the thing inside him shift again, settling, mourning. Sasuke supposed that it must be unsettling suddenly having such open space- he had felt the same way about his old house after the Uchiha clan was massacred. There were no seals to contain the beast now and, after all that had transpired, no internal organs to fight with over room, what with Sasuke's splattered on the cave floor somewhere. Dimly, the Uchiha knew he should be bothered by this but, when it feels as if someone had ripped your heart out, when it feels as if your very soul had died, did having or not having internal organs really matter anymore …?

"Hey!" Something grabbed his ankle and tugged, making Sasuke realize that he had passed out for a few seconds. The spurt of adrenaline the surprise managed to produce had little effect on his abused body, and so the feeling of alarm that coursed through him soon faded away, leaving Sasuke back on the fading edge of awareness again.

"…awake!"

The grip on his ankle shifted and soon the Uchiha felt himself being pulled backwards and down off the surface he was sprawled on. Hands grabbed him when enough of his rag-doll like body had been exposed, turned him over onto his back so his head lolled backward and dangled inches above uneven pavement. Sasuke caught glimpses of someone's shins as they carried him, his eye lids pulled open to half-mast by gravity so he couldn't shut them even if he tried.

I'm coming. He wasn't sure who the thought was for but it probably had to do with the hallucinations plaguing his mind, distorting and obliterating reality. A smiling blonde idiot was waving at him, beckoning at him to hurry, pointing to something off in the distance that only he could see and obviously wanted to share with Sasuke. It was sunny and warm, the sky overhead the same color as Naruto's beautiful eyes…

Sasuke felt his fingers twitch with the desire to wave back at the golden haired figure, felt a muscle in his leg jump from the urge to run after him.

"No pulse!"

Naruto began to turn, that damnably cute pout on his face. Sasuke thought he heard a vague remark about being a slow poke.

No! Wait! Sasuke tried to call out, to stall the blonde, but could make no sound. I'm coming! I'm coming, wait! Desperate, he ran, chasing after his teammate. He ran and forced himself faster, panting breathlessly but unwilling to stop because Naruto was getting further and further away.

"Paddles!"

Wait! Sasuke tried to scream, stumbling but pressing forward, urged on by the large presence suddenly at his side. They both chased after the blonde, calling out, trying to get him to slow down, all to no avail.

Naruto! The Uchiha pumped his legs furiously, putting everything he had into them, going as fast as he could, one hand outstretched to grab his friend while the other hand kept a grip on the faltering presence at his side.

"Clear!"

Don't leave me behind! Sasuke's fingers were out stretched, splayed, frantic to catch in the blonde's sleeve.

"Clear!"

Don't leave me alone! An inch more, just and inch…!

"Clear!"

Let me come with you! It came out an agonized howl from his heart. Finally Sasuke's fingers managed to close around Naruto's wrist-

Only to go right through.

Naruto stopped and turned, fixing Sasuke with a sad smile. "You can't come yet." He reached out and laid his hand solidly against Sasuke's chest, ignoring the way the Uchiha was frantically shaking his head.

Sasuke doubled over in pain, fighting not to clutch his chest as something inside it twitched into being. He grabbed at his friend, unwilling to give up just yet. Take me with you! He pleaded silently, looking up into blue, blue eyes, the image of Naruto beginning to blur.

"I can't." The blonde said softly, a hand on the brunette's shoulder as Sasuke dropped to his knees in the grass beneath their feet.

The pain in his chest doubled- quadrupled- when Sasuke heard that and he could not prevent the melancholy smile that graced his features. He understood; where ever Naruto was going, it was not a place for traitors and, as such, Sasuke was not allowed to go there. Sasuke couldn't even ask the blonde to save a place for him since they weren't heading to a mutual destination. No, Sasuke was sure that there was a seat somewhere far warmer with his name on it, situated very close to somebody with a very sharp pitchfork. He had earned such a fate, this he knew, and so the brunette did not bemoan it.

Though accepting it didn't make any of this easier to take since he'd never see Naruto again after this.

I wanted to tell you! He had to hurry, time was running out and Naruto was fading away. I'm sorry! There were so many things trying to claw their way out of his throat all at the same time that Sasuke could only butcher them, cobbling the lot into incoherent rambling. I- Thank you. You saved me. You're my best friend. I..I love you… and I failed you. Again. I'm so sorry.

He sobbed, giving in and clutching his chest as he gasped in pain. He kept his eyes wide, though, taking in Naruto's look of surprise through his tears, trying to keep everything in focus even as it all began to dissolve around him.

Don't go… Sasuke wanted to beg as his eyes unfocused, as his resolve weakened. He reached out blindly, trying one last time to grab hold of the blonde. He knew it was futile but if there was anything he had learned after years of knowing Naruto, it was that nothing was impossible.

He wanted to tell the blonde to stay, to stay with him, to not venture any further into the sunny landscape around them. He wanted to hold the blonde close and never let go because losing the blonde would mean losing what had made life worth living. Sasuke wanted to rage and scream and curse, not stopping until he got his way and Naruto promised to remain with him no matter what!

Even if…

Even if it meant condemning him to an eternity of misery..?

Could Sasuke really do that? Could he live with himself, knowing that his own hands had taken paradise away from the most important person in his life?

Be happy. The Uchiha sighed quietly, letting go. Naruto had suffered through enough pain; it was time to let the blonde be happy. Time to put his selfishness aside and grow up. Sasuke had said his peace and that was all he really had wanted, or so he told himself at any rate.

It was the only comfort he could hold onto as his eyes slid shut and lost sight of the blond.

He dreamed, nightmares filled with blood and fire, of being chased and hunted. Sasuke dreamed of Naruto as well, again chasing after his friend but this time never being able to catch him or, worse, catching the blonde only to watch him crumble into dust. He would cry then, sobbing brokenly in grief, suddenly thrown forcibly back into the memories about how this all began.

About a cave filled with shadows and echoing with chanting.

About fire and blood, lots and lots of blood, and losing himself in a rage.

About Naruto's still form on the floor, tied down by chains that cut into the blonde's flesh.

He would whimper then, afraid of facing those images, remembering how he had completely lost control, over the knowledge that in the end he too could reach the same level of insanity that had driven Itatchi to slaughter their family.

It frightened him, what he had been capable of.

Sasuke had enjoyed going on a rampage, he had enjoyed dishing out retribution, had enjoyed the carnage he wreaked while avenging his friend.

Itatchi's death at that point had just been the icing on a horrific cake.

The feel of hot, freshly spilled blood on his hands, of flesh tearing under a demonically powered chidori. Nothing had been able to stand against him and he had laid waste to everything around him, snuffing out lives left and right, reveling in the near ecstatic pleasure coursing through him as he did so. It had fed him, powered him to continue, allowed him to force the very earth around them all to bend to his will. He had never felt so invincible, never felt so powerful.

Sasuke had enjoyed it all and that frightened him to his very core.

And so he ran, caught in the maze of his memories, trapped in a Hellish prison he himself had created. Running away from some memories while running toward others. Running, running, running, always running. Like an endless loop, images played and replayed, good times, bad times, all of it flowing together until it was just one big mess.

Until Sasuke was one big mess; a soul trapped in Purgatory, sentenced to forever wander in limbo until his savior could call him back.

But that wasn't going to happen- would never happen.

Could never happen.

His would-have-been savior lay somewhere beneath a mountain, miles away from the village the blonde had loved so much, hopefully still next to whatever remained of Sasuke's eviscerated form, along side the remains of the organization of Akatsuki. Buried under all that rock, both from the fallen mountain and from the destroyed demon-container statue, it was unlikely their bodies would ever be recovered to be given a proper burial, but leveling everything had been the only way to insure the complete obliteration of Akatsuki.

To protect Konoha as Naruto had always wanted, done with the power the Kyuubi container had always been afraid to harness.

An act of penance, a bid for forgiveness, a step forward toward salvation.

A monument to something, though the Uchiha had no idea as to what exactly…

Love..? Came the rumbled suggestion from the dark, reminding him that though he thought he was alone in limbo, he in fact was not.

Hearing another voice, assuming it was not a sign of insanity, restored some of the Uchiha's missing clarity and sense of self. It served to stabilize his mind enough so that a semblance of coherency made it through, the awful memories receding.

Of course, that did nothing about the good ones now flooding his addled mind. Immediately he was assaulted with pleasant sensations, with images of his blonde friend, his vision swamped by eyes a peaceful blue.

Naruto? Sasuke asked, reaching out for those memories and holding them close, wrapping himself in them like a blanket. Doing so made the Uchiha able to believe for just a second that his friend was not dead.

For one long, beautiful moment, the blonde was there with him, alive and vibrant again. Made real by a thousand smells and sensations, his voice ringing in Sasuke's ears as Naruto sang out an annoyed greeting. He was there in the darkness arms draped around Sasuke's shoulders, warmth radiating into the brunette's back, smelling of sweat and sun. The illusion was so good that the Uchiha could actually feel Naruto cuddle against his body, the blonde once again given form and life. It was wonderful, heart-wrenchingly wonderful, and Sasuke felt tears well in his eyes and flow down his cheeks.

I love you! He sobbed, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes and trying to remain still. He had wanted to tell Naruto for so long, so very long, but he had always held the words in, letting them die in his throat before he could confess.

Naruto's arms tightened around him, pulling him close in an intimate gesture, small nose nudging against Sasuke's ear. Warm breath fanned over Sasuke's neck, lips ghosting over his skin.

I want this. Sasuke felt his breath catch in his chest. I want this but…but… He had made up his mind to let Naruto go, to let the blonde be happy and rest after such a life filled with torment. He wanted to keep that resolve.

Hands ran up over his chest, pinning him against the body behind him, not stopping until they made him gasp.

He had made up his mind…! Sasuke bit his lip, fighting a whimper, fighting the urge to give in and fall on the temptation pressing against his back.

Naruto's hands changed tactics; one headed north while the other went south. The blonde began to attack the brunette's neck, little kisses at first them quick nips at Sasuke's skin. The hand on his chest found a nipple and began to tease while the other slid beneath the waistband of the Uchiha's pants.

No… Sasuke's moaned, arching away, trying to untangle himself from the blonde. He had made up his mind, had decided to let Naruto go..!

Don't make this any harder!

His heart was not listening, disregarding the decision that had obviously been made without its consent. It smashed his resolve to pieces, grinding it under heel as Naruto's hands worked on his body, eliciting moans and pants. All too soon, the Uchiha was overloaded, drowning in sensations yet starving, demanding more, his body moving of its own accord as he turned around and tackled the blonde.

Sasuke had never been good at resisting temptation. He knew it, his parents had known it, Itatchi had known it. The phrase 'impulse control' had not been added to young Sasuke's vocabulary until around the age of four, much to his father's annoyance: Uchihas were encouraged to perfect emotional control at an early age, and contrary to popular belief, Sasuke Uchiha had not managed to completely master this particular ability. It was why he had to remain emotionally distant; hidden under all those layers of self control was a needy, passionate, and highly emotional Uchiha just waiting to get out.

This Naruto, real or delusion, had set that part of Sasuke free, with complete disregard for the Uchiha's starved libido.

He fell on the blonde like some ravaging beast, forcing the other male backwards onto the floor, their lips pressed ruthlessly against one another's. Hands wrapped around his waist, gripping his hips, fingers splaying over his suddenly over-heated and sensitive flesh, dipping below the waistband of his pants. The sensation triggered years of repressed desire and lust to awaken, bubbling to the surface, spilling out through his lips, and pour into the blonde beneath him. For several long blissful minutes, Sasuke lost himself in that moment, let his hands roam over bronzed skin and blonde hair, the blonde rolling them both to lay on their sides. He felt a tongue tease along his bottom lip, asking silently for permission as a cautious hand dipped deeply into his pants and brushed through warm dark curls. The Uchiha gasped as searching fingers found what they were after, throwing his head back to pant as gentle touches hastened the hardening of his flesh.

The brunette had wanted to do this with the real Naruto. He had fantasized about it, late at night, indulging in his dreams what he couldn't bring himself to do in reality. It happened rarely, and when he did manage to dream about Naruto, he slept well despite the erotic content, as if the blonde's presence acted as a talisman against the nightmares that normally plagued Sasuke's sleep. Such a phenomenon led to other thoughts, like, what would it be like to sleep next to Naruto? How would it feel to cuddle up next to him as he fell asleep, or wrap his arms around him? Would Naruto be warm to the touch? Would he return the embrace?

Sometimes Sasuke didn't dream of anything sexual. Sometimes his fantasies were tame beyond belief, a subconscious bid by his anxious mind for comfort. Some nights he dreamed of simply falling asleep surrounded by his teammate's vibrant body, with tan arms wrapping around his pale form, his nose pressed against warm flesh and filled with Naruto's scent…

…Naruto lay limp in his lap, head lolling bonelessly as Sasuke's sob-wracked body shook them both. The Uchiha had gathered his friend in his arms, hoping to find some trace of life in Naruto. The blonde's body was already cooling, warmth draining away with his blood as the liquid oozed out all over the stone floor and mingled with Sasuke's, adding to the already large puddle. Vacant blue eyes stared up at the Uchiha, unwavering in their accusatory glare no matter how many tears Sasuke shed. The salty drops dripped down over the blonde's whisker marks, trailing away to disappear under his jaw line, clearing away some of the grime from Naruto's now pale cheeks. Awkwardly, ignoring the way his left arm- well what remained of his left arm- refused to facilitate in the action, Sasuke clutched his friend to him, trying to suppress a moan and failing. He bit his bottom lip and pressed his nose into the skin of the blonde's neck, ignoring the smell of death rolling off the body.

All at once, the fires of desire and lust were snuffed out. Sasuke realized he was crying again, resting his head against the fake Naruto's chest, sobbing brokenly. This wasn't real, none of it was real. His Naruto was gone, gone to a place where Sasuke could not follow- had no right to follow. Naruto was dead and this was all a lie, a pathetic attempt at finding comfort and another example of his own weakness.

He withdrew from the blonde and curled up in a ball, hands over his ears, shaking and sobbing. Sasuke didn't have the heart to push the fake away no matter how much pain its continued presence caused him.

It's not real! He reminded himself harshly, heart constricting in his chest. It's not real! He's dead! I got him killed and he's dead!

So preoccupied, filled with guilt and grief, the Uchiha paid no attention to the tan arms that wrapped around his huddled frame. He didn't feel the soothing circles being rubbed into his back, didn't feel himself being gathered up and held and pressed against a tan chest.

In his mind he was back with the real, dead, Naruto, clutching the other to his chest, crying for him, heedless of the danger still around him.

He did not feel the warmth radiating off his would-have-been lover.

But he did feel the chill of a blade as it pierced through him, into Naruto's corpse, making him jerk in surprise at finding both it and his body now joined. It speared through him, that absolute coldness creeping inside him, making him shake all the harder. It robbed him of all the warmth generated earlier, took away all that momentary happiness he had deluded himself into enjoying.

It made him feel dead inside and in a some ways, made everything better. Being dead inside meant he didn't have to feel, didn't have to wade through all the emotions he didn't know how to handle. Huddled over himself, trying futilely to protect his already much abused body from any more emotional trauma, Sasuke realized he didn't want to feel anything anymore. All these memories inside his head, all this pain, it was tearing him to shreds! The good, the bad- all of it was destroying him, eating away at his psyche, leaving him a mindless wreck on the floor of his own mind. Already he could feel himself slipping away, gradually being pulled down into darker and darker depths, losing pieces of himself all over the place…

He didn't want to feel anymore because it hurt too much.

Yet it hurt even more not to feel anything.

No matter what you did, one way or another they always got you, coming or going.

Pressed against the chest of what amounted to a doll made in the image of his dead best friend, Sasuke Uchiha lay like a broken toy and wondered if he would be allowed to die any time soon or if he would simply go insane first.

Thank you very much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and also that you check back in for the next chapter. Constructive criticism is always welcome.