Author's Notes

- I want to thank everyone who read Tolerant Intolerance!!! Ya'll are the reason I worked really really hard to get this out before another year passes :) Thank You!

- I'm also trying to do better on my grammar/spelling ( ya know, the 100 correct goal that I will never achieve) and tightening up my form. So hopefully those have improved in this story.

- This is different stylistically from Tolerant Intolerance ( at least it is to me) so let me know if works or if I just totally screwed up

Warnings: MAN SEX !!! YAOI !!! NC-17!!! Rather graphic rough sex, IT IS NOT PRETTY !!! VERY DARK STUFF!!! So you have been warned!!! Also, coarse language, shounen-ai, sad stuff, etc.

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Story Notes

- Takes place the same night as 'One Year Ago...' in the Tolerant Intolerance story. You don't have to read TI, but it wouldn't hurt.

- The title translates, to the best of my ability, as My Bright Star ( in the polite male possessive form:)). According to the Wikipedia article, Shiranui translates to "phosphorescent light" so I just put a sappy spin on that. Ah, SAP. Which has an odd place in this twisted fic.

- ANBU designations based on the Chinese Zodiac. Oushi Bull or Ox, for Genma and Ohitsuji Ram, for Raidou.

- Tokujo Shortened form of Tokubetsu Jounin or Special Jounin.

Boku no Akaaka Hoshi

I wonder how Iruka and Kakashi are doing? Probably asleep. Raidou idly scratches his nose against the crook of his elbow. I bet Kakashi ended up staying the night and they're already asleep without so much as a kiss. Kakashi looked like he was on the verge of passing out all day and Iruka needs another full night anyway. The tickle in his nose won't go away. Raidou flattens his face on the bed cover and rubs vigorously back and forth. A few irritating moments later the itch finally dissipates.

The scarred brunette lays on his stomach, eyes closed, listening to the shower's dull roar from the next room. Terry cloth tickles his bare skin; his belly, the fronts of his thighs, his partially erect member. It feels good, like light scratches from raggedly bitten fingernails; like the nails on Genma's right hand after one of his fits. Raidou had spread the slightly damp towel over the bed sheets before settling down, stretching along the length of the bed, head pillowed on his folded arms. His thoughts drift nonsensically as he tries his best to doze for a bit. Relax, Rai. Just relax.

The sudden silence tells the tokujo of the shower's end, a few following knocks and thumps indicating Genma's movements within the bathroom. Raidou's mind empties of even the previous idle thoughts and the man simply waits for his lover to exit the adjoining bath. His wait is short. A rush of air, warm and wet from shower steam, washes over Raidou's exposed body and he presses his front further into the towel, half erection swelling. Brown eyes remain closed, allowing Genma to observe him unobserved.

He remembers meeting Genma at the academy when he was twelve-years-old and Genma was ten. Raidou had been passing through the school's training grounds, after classes, and had spotted the younger boy haphazardly practicing with throwing stars on the empty field. Raidou had corrected the boy's grip on the shuriken, trying to keep the kid from losing any fingers. Genma, always the stubborn ass, had disregarded his senpai's advice and reaped a handful of nasty cuts. Raidou had rushed the child to the hospital and sat with him during the painful stitches and stern lectures from the medic nin. They were inseparable afterwards.

The familiar chakra signature hovers in the open doorway, unmasked and flaring erratically. Raidou can feel the man's stare as strongly as his chakra, hazel eyes roaming over his nudity, raping him with his gaze. The prostrate man stretches the tiniest bit to arch his back and raise his hips in a subtle seductive action. Scar tissue pulls across his left side, the sworls of distended flesh flowing from cheek to neck to ribs to hip in a pattern that mimics the licking flames that caused the damage. The movement creates a delicious friction to Raidou's groin and he gives a soft moan. I'm starting to pick up Genma's tricks. Moments pass and the presence approaches to sit on the edge of the bed. Raidou's body dips slightly with the extra weight on the mattress at his hip. Genma's chakra begins to spark and swell, fitful spits and spats that announce the shinobi's instability to everyone in their building. Or would have if Raidou hadn't placed a fuujikomero no jutsu onto the apartment the second they had walked through the door. Repressed anxiety and sorrow and fury radiate off the younger man in crushing waves causing a tremor to run the length of Raidou's frame. It's worse than usual. Probably from dealing with Iruka for so long today.

Raidou continues to feign sleep, though he knows the other man is aware of his charade. It's routine by now. Dark hair hangs in his face which is turned towards the bathroom door and half hidden by his arm. Raidou breathes in the clean scent of his shampoo, dampness still clinging to the strands, ends bent slightly as they rest on his forearm. It shouldn't take him very long tonight, he's already falling apart. He consciously releases the tension in his back that had knotted up at Genma's forceful touch. A single finger slides down Raidou's spine, nail chewed uneven with sharp catches and points. The prone man knows his skin is being marked with thin reddened lines as the finger presses harder into his flesh. Not long at all.

It moves along the dip of his lower back, up the swell of his rear, down the crease until the tip reaches the slick opening and pushes roughly inside. Raidou exhales slowly. It hadn't hurt. He has already prepared himself, lots of lube and stretched to three fingers while Genma was in the shower. The sudden movement simply startled the older man, though he'd been expecting it because this is how it always begins. Raidou wiggles under the invading finger, pushing back onto it and moaning, just a little, to fuel his own lust as much as for Genma's benefit.

He remembers when Genma was thirteen and he was fifteen. The honey haired teen had appeared at his bedroom window before the morning sun, reeking of cheap sake and used latex. He was covered in vermilion lipstick. Raidou had listened with the rapt attention of a true virgin as his best friend recounted his very first sexual encounter. The vivid details made the older boy blush horribly as he twisted his bed sheets and hoped to kami-sama that his mother wouldn't hear them talking. He received similar visits for the next three years, with frightening frequency.

" Gen-chan." Raidou speaks quietly in his deep bear like rumble. The digit inside him stops mid plunge and is then covered to the third knuckle as the dark man rises to his knees, effectively sitting on the other man's hand. He twists his upper body and dribbles oil onto an open palm before wrapping his thick fingers around Genma's erection. The hazel eyes shut in a pained expression and Raidou knows his lover can't look him in the face right now. Unscented coating shines in the dim light from the bedside lamp, accenting the deep purple of the swollen head, competing with the beads of pre cum weeping from the slit. Raidou finishes slathering the stiff flesh and resists the urge to kiss his lover's grimace into nonexistence. Now is not the time for tenderness.

Lubricant bottle is tossed into the nightstand drawer, tanned hand hastily wiped clean on the towel. Raidou falls onto his hands and spreads his knees farther apart to gain a wider base for balance; last time he'd had his nose slammed into the head board and broken in two places. Genma hadn't been able to look at him without crying until the bandages had been removed. Best not to repeat last time. I don't want him hurting any longer than he has to. His fingers clench the freshly washed sheets, fists brace against the wooden bedboard. " Fuck me." He orders in the same low tone. Then Raidou concentrates on breathing in and out in deep steadying streams of air as the man behind him moves into place and grips his hips; one smooth, one gnarled. He can feel the thickness pressing at his entrance.

He remembers when Genma was fifteen and he hadn't quite turned seventeen. Two weeks before his birthday the light haired boy had stumbled into the Namiashi family home and quietly announced that his parents had been killed; his mother on a mission in Grass, his father on a mission in Lightning. Raidou had been shocked immobile. He could only stare as his own mother wrapped the newly orphaned boy in her strong embrace and motioned for Raidou's older sister to take Raidou and their younger brother outside. The day after services were held, the boys had sex with each other for the first time. Raidou was the one who cried afterward. Genma promised him it wouldn't change their friendship.

He is filled in one agonizing thrust. Raidou grits his teeth and his fingers tighten their hold on the sheets, nearly ripping the fabric. His half erection immediately deflates. Not long, not long, not long...The mantra drones silently in his head in rhythm with the harsh pounding at his backside that starts immediately with no grace period for adjustment. It takes all his strength to remain upright. It takes all his strength to not cry out. Raidou stays perfectly still and focuses on the smell of Genma's soap.

The insides of his thighs are wet, a bothersome trickle halfway to his knee. Genma is speeding up. Hands are like claws on the brunette's body, bitten fingernails on the right side scraping Raidou's unmarred skin. He knows the spot is now raw and bleeding. Not much longer, there's been too much shit and he hasn't broken in eight months. And we haven't had sex since before I left for my mission. Not long, not long, not long...Raidou sucks air through his teeth and actively pushes back against each thrust, making himself a part of the violence and not merely its victim.

He remembers when Genma was eighteen and he was twenty. That was the year the Kyuubi attacked Konoha and Genma received his field promotion to tokubetsu jounin. Raidou lost his elder brother in the battle and made the decision to join ANBU, despite his mother's concerns; she had already lost a husband and a son to the elite forces. Several of the shinobi bachelor units were utterly destroyed in the attack, forcing Raidou to move back home and Genma to follow in his wake; domestically and professionally. They became Ohitsuji and Oushi before their apartments had been rebuilt.

White hot sparks suddenly explode behind his closed eyelids as Genma accidentally hits his sweet spot. Raidou cannot stifle the half scream that is jolted from his throat. His wilted flesh revives at the unexpected attention and begs for more contact. The brunette tries to maneuver his pelvis to get his lover to hit the bundle of nerves again. He is successful. The man behind him is making familiar noises, discordant sobs stringing together choked gasps and grunts of animalistic lust. Hot liquid pitter patters on Raidou's already sweat slick back. He knows it is not Genma's sweat mingling with his.

Genma changes his rhythm, shifting from barely controlled stabs to completely mindless fucking, increasing the assault. Raidou ignores the ripping. He centers one hand against the headboard and reaches for his neglected member. Clammy palm fists his throbbing leaking member. He grits his teeth, savagely jerking his erection, hot tears stinging narrowed eyes. Not long, not long, not long... The towel begins to darken with a mixture of bodily fluids.

He remembers when Genma was twenty-one and he was twenty-three and his mother kept bugging him to find a nice girl in the shinobi ranks and get married; that was how she had met Raidou's father, both serving in ANBU. Raidou just laughed. Genma's promiscuity had increased at an alarming rate since the Kyuubi incident and , while Raidou enjoyed the party scene with his friend, he was worried about the younger man's health. Physical and emotional. The newest member to their little clique, Iruka-kun, was an adorable puppy of a teen who followed at their heels and quickly proved himself just as capable as the older, more experienced men when it came to alcohol, dancing, and sex. Genma had called him a natural. Raidou had thought him cute. The next year Raidou broke for the first time.

Genma is shouting, screaming, crying a death knell for every life lost by his hand and by the absence of his hand. Raidou wants to block out the sound, to close his ears against the shrieks, but forces himself to memorize each anguished note instead. This is his lover's pain and they share in everything. Hands are clawing deep welts into the flesh of his hips, worsening his scars, ruining his unbroken skin. The brunette hisses, saliva misting the sheets.

His cock swells from the manual abuse and Raidou is cumming so hard into his own hand, deep gasping breaths wrenched from his chest. His hand slaps back onto the mattress to keep him from collapsing before Genma is done with him. His lover is still pounding relentlessly into his aching body, voice straining with anything more coherent than simple vowels. He feels ten crescent moons tattooed on his sides. The man behind him rams forward; once, twice, burying deeply inside his aching passage, then motionless. Genma's irregular pants are cool against Raidou's flushed skin, his soaking honey hair and feverish forehead resting on his back, just below his shoulder blades. He knows Genma can't release his death grip on his own.

He remembers when Genma was twenty-four and he was twenty-six. Genma was at his bedroom window before the morning sun, reeking of dried blood and used latex. Raidou let him into his apartment and held the honey haired man until he stopped shaking. He couldn't coax any information from him. Two days later, while shopping for his little brother's birthday present at the weapons shop , Raidou overheard one of the chuunins ( he couldn't remember his name, but the guy hung around the missions room quite a bit) describing his wild night with 'Shiranui-kun' to his buddy as they waited on their kunai orders. The vivid details made the older man pale and he wished to kami-sama that he hadn't heard them talking. Or seen the marks on the chuunin's wrists.

Raidou twitches as he flexes his arms, loosening the joints that locked into a bracing position during the finale. He sits up slowly, easing the other man up with him, Genma's face sliding along his skin until his nose is planted in the short hairs at the nape of Raidou's neck. The man's breathing is still pitifully erratic. Raidou keeps his pained noises to himself, he sees no reason to advertise what his lover is already aware of. Anything to make it better for him, not worse. His hands gently cover the ones latched onto his sides and pulls them away. A fair amount of skin pulls away, as well. Raidou brings the bloodied hands to his mouth and kisses them, first the backs, then the palms. He lingers over the right hand, giving each of its fingers a light brush of his lips. A strangled sob echoes loudly just behind his ear, a heavy weight slumps against him.

Raidou moves forward and there is nothing but excruciating pain for the few seconds it takes for the other man's cock to disengage. He grunts slightly, hoping the sound is lost to his lover's ears; he knows otherwise. The towel is lifted and all its stains are ignored as Raidou haltingly cleans his stomach, his thighs, his torn entrance. He doesn't bother with the new wounds on his hips. Dropping the soiled terrycloth over the side of the bed, the brunette picks up Genma's discarded towel and turns around to face his honey haired lover. I wish I could make this better for him.

He remembers when Genma was twenty-five and he had just celebrated his twenty-seventh birthday with a huge party. He asked the younger man for a date and was pleasantly surprised when Genma agreed. They began seeing each other exclusively after date #3, though Genma still came back to the apartment covered in blood and semen twice a year. Raidou left ANBU that year. Genma continued to serve.

Genma is a mass of trembling limbs and wracking sobs hiding behind his freed hands. Raidou kneels in front of him, wiping the streaks of light and dark matter from the other man's groin, being extra careful of the sensitized organ. He keeps a tight reign on every flinch and grimace that tries to escape his calm demeanor. Genma doesn't need to see it right now. The second towel joins the first and Raidou flicks the bedside lamp off, throwing their bedroom into inky darkness. The less Genma sees, the better. Raidou pulls the slighter man onto the mattress, kicking the blankets to the foot of the bed for later when the sweat has cooled off.

Two tan arms slip around the shaking figure, one supporting Genma's neck and folding back to softly stroke his temple, the other laying across his pale form and firmly massaging his heaving back. Raidou cradles his lover to his body. Front to front, Genma refuses to reveal his face to the scarred man, his chin touching his chest, hands twisted in his sloppy locks. Raidou rests his chin on the honey colored crown and lovingly caresses Genma's right hand as it tries to claw the scalp beneath the lighter hair. He manages to imprison the hurtful appendage before any more blood can be drawn tonight. Barely there kisses find the bit of exposed skin. Now is the time for tenderness.

He remembers when Genma was twenty-seven and he was twenty-nine and he'd had enough of his lover sneaking off to abuse some random sexual deviant who wanted the senbon sucker to maul him crimson. Genma proclaimed his faithfulness and his desire to protect Raidou from the pain that he would inflict during his insanity. The darker man took his lover's fingers and trailed them along his numerous scars. Raidou had told him that flesh healed, but the infidelity and lack of trust would always remain an open wound. Genma didn't leave that night and every break afterwards occurred with Raidou and Raidou only.

Raidou waits for Genma to fall asleep. He listens to the sobbing as it grows quiet and finally silent. He places the wayward hands onto the bed between them. He stiffly pulls the blankets over their chilled bodies. Hot tears of pain flow freely from his tired eyes. Raidou watches the moonlight shift and change and slant through the broken window blinds and wonders if Genma would like to go on a camping trip when the weather warms up. He would like to see his lover out in the open with nothing but moonlight and starshine illuminating his pale body. I bet he would glow. Like fireflies in a glass jar. Or like the moon and stars themselves. Raidou lowers his lashes on the blurry view.

He remembers when Genma was thirty and he was thirty two and the two shinobi exchanged vows in a quiet ceremony held at the Namiashi residence. Family and close friends toasted the newly wedded couple and the Hokage gave his blessing in the form of an intricately hand carved bed. Genma had immediately thrown himself onto the thick mattress and pulled the stammering, blushing Raidou on top of him in front of the guests. Everyone laughed and toasted them again. Raidou had never been happier.

I hope Kakashi and Iruka are doing okay.

owari