Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, which is a registered trademark of Sotsu Agency Co., LTD. TM & Sunrise & under license by Bandai.

A/N- The fourth part of the Games People Play flashfic series! This was written for the gw500 LJ community's weekly prompts; this week's prompt was "ship." Wing, a Commentary can be read as the thematic sequel to Ladies' Gambit, Hoodwinked and Where There's a Will, but also stands alone.

Wing, a Commentary

by Terra

"Who do you ship, Heero?" asked Relena offhandedly, resting on her elbows on the bed, idly leafing through the hotel entertainment guide.

Heero slid out from under the bed, concluding his sweep of the room. "Who do I what?"

"Ship," she repeated. "What's your OTP?"

"My what?"

"Your one true pairing," she said, shooting him a strange look. "Do you live in a vacuum? What's your favorite relationship on Wing?"

"Wing?" asked Heero, bewildered.

"The live-action drama they're making about the war! God, you have been living under a rock."

"Relena," he said, "I've been stationed in the asteroid belt for six months."

"Oh. Right then," she coughed, blushing, an apologetic smile stretching her lips. She continued brightly: "So, they've got this up-and-coming hunk playing you and this dreamboat playing Duo. The fangirls are crazy about shipping the two of you together."

"Me and Duo?" he said slowly.

"Yes." Her expression took on a distant, dreamy look. "It's kind of hot actually."

"Me and Duo?" he asked, outraged.

"Then there's the cutie playing Quatre. The chemistry between him and the actor for Trowa is intense. That scene where he gets out of Heavyarms with his hands in the air and Quatre just looks at him? Talk about steamy!" Relena sighed. "And the latest episode has them meeting up in the desert for," she smiled, "well, who knows what really—"

Heero held up his hand to silence her. "Stop. Stop right there. Are you telling me that this – this fictional garbage is a popular show?"

"Popular? It's the single most-watched show on the air every week."

"And — Wing," he said, disgusted, "is about our relationships?"

"Yes. There's hot, steamy eyesex going on every week," she answered, grinning.

"Eye—" he cut himself off, stunned. Clearing his throat, he tried again: "This show's creators know that we were fighting a war, right? There wasn't any time for relationships," he said relationships like it was a venereal disease, "and we barely saw each other outside combat."

"Well, of course." Relena rolled her eyes. "You and I know that, but that's why it's fiction. It's a reenactment of history for teenage girls – what else can you expect them to care about? Geopolitics? Military disarmament? The philosophy of war?" She brushed the idea out of the air. "Don't be silly."

"Who plays you?"

She frowned. "Some unknown — honestly, it's discouraging and not a little disappointing. All she does is stand on rocks and balconies and buildings and in front of windows yelling, 'Heeeeeerrrrro!'"

"Do I answer?"

"No. How could you hurt my, I mean, her feelings like that? If it were true love, you should just know whenever she's thinking about you."

"You mean telepathically?" he deadpanned.

"What other way is there for soulmates?" she sighed.

Heero rubbed his temples, a painstakingly patient look on his face. "How can we be soulmates if I'm off eyesexing Duo?"

"Oh, that. Well, there are two camps of thought – or so I hear," she added quickly. "There are the you-and-me shippers and then there are you-and-Duo rabid fangirls. It can get nasty," she shuddered delicately, "when the two groups collide on a message board."

He nodded. "I think I understand the pairings now."

Relena glanced at him. "So who do you ship, Heero?"

"What?" Heero smiled enigmatically. "Can't you read my mind?"

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A/N- Oh, sneaky Relena! I love writing snarky!Heero and bantering!Relena together. Think of this as a small attempt at satire about the fandom. Thank you for reading!