Title: It Never Hugs Back
Author: myinukoi
Pairing(s): SasuNaru (main), some SasuSaku, SasuIno, NaruHina, NaruSaku, NejiNaru, KibaNaru, GaaNaru, SaiNaru, ItaNaru
Warning(s): Shounen-ai, DesperateforMoney!Sasuke, Swearing...the usual
Ages: Sasuke and Neji are 17; Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Kiba, and Gaara are 16; Sai is 21; Itachi is 23.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Happy now! (Sasuke nods approvingly) xD
Beta: Ariii.chan!!
Enjoy the first chapter of It Never Hugs Back
--
I t N e v e r H u g s B a c k
Chapter One: The Golden Rule
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.
--Buzzie Bavasi--
--
"I'm WHAT?!?!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Uchiha. You're broke." The accountant sighed with a lazy drawl and turned another page in his manga.
"You..." the brunette pointed at his 'trusted' treasurer and growled."You..."
"Me. Me." The other affirmed and rolled his one visible eye, never leaving his comic book.
He was barely startled when he was thrown against the lavishly decorated wall of the young Uchiha heir's bedroom.
"Liar...!" Sasuke spat as he forced the taller, older man against the wall. "How dare you!!" He tightened his hold on the silver-haired man's neck.
"Um...Sasuke-kuuun? Is this a bad time...?" Sakura asked.
"Yes!!" He snapped irritably.
"Can I stay anyway? We barely got started..."
"Get the fuck out of my room, Sakura!!!!"
"Yikes!" Sakura winced and removed herself from the plush bed. She slipped on a light green sweater that matched her eyes to hide her expensive Victoria Secret bra her Sasuke-kun bought her, and the many love bites that made her pale skin swell red.
The livid Uchiha barely heard the door close and the mumbled, "Next time, eh?" from the cherry blossom girl.
"Y'know..." Kakashi chuckled uneasily, "when you're angry, you're eyes turn kinda reddish. Quite frightening. I think that would make a kickass buisness advantage. That's how Itachi got where he was today. Speaking of Itachi, he called. Said you and him should go to dinner this weekend. Brothers catching up and all...maybe you would like to take Ino with you? Impress him. She is much prettier than Sakura, but I'm sure the other girl's brain will make up for it. He always liked smarty-girls. She's good for you. Maybe--"
Kakashi's rambling was cut off.
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up!"
"Is that any way to speak to your elders?"
"You? My elder? Like a superior? You fucking moronic dimwit!! Don't you dare ask for my respect, you godforsaken DUMBASS!!!"
Kakashi winced as he abruptly fell to the floor and heard an expensive sounding vase crash against a wall.
"Broke? Broke? Me??! Uchiha Sasuke?! Broke? Ha! HAHAHAHA!"
Bam!!
"Richest in all of Konoha!! Sole surviving Uchiha heir! Broke?! Haha! So funny!"
Crash!!
"Actually you forgot Itachi...," Kakashi interrupted, glad to have retrieved his book, and currently flipping through it to resume reading his lost page. "Though depending how pissed you're parents were at him before he died, y'know, abandoning his clan and all, I guess they would leave all their shit to you."
"For fuck's sake, show me proof."
"Sasuke! Don't use the great act of fucking in vain! Shame on you!"
"PROOF!!"
Kakashi sighed and pulled out a rumpled looking piece of rectangular paper.
"I don't want to look at it. How much do I have?"
Kakashi sighed once more and told the Uchiha in a weary voice. "$22.31." A/N: I'm sorry, but all the money accountings are going to be in Americanized form. Constantly translating money amounts to yen will be ridiculous in this fic. I'm just too lazy.) He quickly ducked, expecting another expensive vase to be thrown at his head, but his ears met no crash. Instead, he saw a paralyzed Uchiha.
He cautiously waved his hand in front of the other's face, hoping to see at least one quick move of pupils, a jittering of the obsidian irises. But when he was met with nothing, he sat down on the floor of the damaged room and finished one more chapter of Icha Icha Paradise. Looking up once more to see that his employer didn't move, he stood up lazily, yawned, and asked a servant to fetch an ambulance.
--
"You seem to have been suffering from open-eyed-unconsciousness, or deep sleep, due to slight brain trauma. Nothing to worry about Uchiha-san, you'll be out in a few hours. You really gave us quite a scare there."
The female nurse placed a hand upon the bed-ridden Sasuke's. "But, if you want to stay here for a few more days, I can do some paperwork and--"
"No. Go away." He snapped, slapping her hand away.
He missed her look of hurt when another nurse came in.
Luckily, this one was old, brittle, and ugly and was in no way attracted or impressed by the Uchiha.
"People. Tons. Here to see you. Only four can come in. Pick." She said brusquely, clipboard in hand as her wrinkled fingers quickly scrawled down vital info.
"Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, and Shikamaru," Sasuke rambled off quickly, automatically. He didn't need, nor care to hear of the other names. He knew those four were in the waiting room, and it was those four only that he needed to see.
-Flashback -
"Sasukeeeee! You promised!!" The blond whined childishly.
"So?" Sasuke ignored the blond's betrayed tone with the flick of a wrist.
"You can't break a promise!!"
"Sure I can. Am I not right now?"
"But breaking promises is un-loyal and untrustworthy!"
"So?"
"You promised."
"And now I'm breaking it."
"But you promised!"
"And now I'm breaking it."
"You gave me your word."
"Why are you so shocked? We both know my word is worth less than shit."
"Sasuke, you prom--"
"Naruto, I don't care. I'm breaking my promise. I'mtaking backmy word. I. Don't. Care. I thought we've already established this. We're just going around in circles, here."
"You can't break a promise when it comes to something as world rendering as Ichiraku! Everyone knows that! You can't just break the rule!"
Sasuke smirked. "Of course I can. Because of the Supreme Golden Rule. The rule that outlaws all the rest. We all live by the Golden Rule."
Naruto brightened and recited dutifully. "Treat others as you would--"
He was cut off by a cold, smug voice.
"... Those who have the gold make the rules"
And Sasuke, smirking, left behind a fuming, tomato-faced Naruto.
- Flashback End -
"Kakashi, take me home."
The lazy 'employee' yawned and turned another page in his perverted manga. "No."
"Fine, go ahead and call that new limousine driver, but if you flirt with him in my hearing or viewing range I swear to--wait. What?"
"No." The silver-haired man repeated.
Sasuke rubbed the bridge of his nose irritably. An anger-subduing technique taught to him by his past mother. Patience is a virtue. "Why not?"
Black eyes met dull, dark gray. "Because I'm no longer you're employee, Uchiha... san." Kakashi refrained from using 'chan' to tease the boy. Even though this boy was no longer his employer, he was still an Uchiha. Kakashi was already granted the privilege of having the option to refrain from using '-sama' as all the other servants/employees did. A prerogative given to him by his former employer's father: Uchiha Fugaku.
Sasuke sighed wearily. "The whole 'Sole Uchiha-heir, richest bachelor in Konoha, is bankrupt belie conspiracy' was true after all, hm?"
"'Fraid so," Naruto muttered, "Sucks for you."
"Shut the hell up, dobe."
"I would kick your ass, but I don't want to receive a bad rep for beating up poor-ass, homeless, temes."
Sasuke blinked. Homeless...?
Kakashi read the Uchiha's shock without even glancing up from his book. He turned a page with a quick jerk of the wrist, and replied to the questions bouncing throughout Sasuke's mind.
"You never really owned the home. You're parents died so suddenly after Itachi's self-removal from the clan, that they didn't have nearly enough time to retrieve their death documents and alter them in your favor, Sasuke-kun."
"But what about--"
"All your employees were given a sumly check so they can get by until they all find new jobs. Including me." Kakashi waved a check of ten thousand dollars to the boys.
Shikamaru scoffed at the money, Neji sniffed as though the occurrence of such generous sums was an everyday trivial, and Naruto's eyes got big and glossy. A 'cha-ching!' sound could be heard somewhere near his background and lovely sparkles, hearts, and money signs floated carelessly around his head.
"Itachi owns everything. You owe nothing. Legal matters and such. Do try to understand, Uchiha-san."
"Oh no..." Sasuke moaned despairingly, he dropped his head into his hands and brooded quietly for two minutes straight. His occasional anguished groans of displeasure were the only sounds until Kakashi decided to break the silence once more.
He simply loved adding salt to the wound.
Being unemployed never felt so good.
"Until then, Itachi, as your legal guardian (another wail of disapproval from the dark bundle huddled in the hospital blankets), assigned you to live with Uzumaki-kun."
Sasuke shot out of the covers in a tangled heap and his hands slapped his face in a wonderful impression of 'The Scream', as he groaned in a voice that seemed to be some homogenous mixture of utmost despair, nearly reeled-in anger, and just a tiny note of relief.
"OH NO!!!"
As nurses an unwanted female patients began to bang on Uchiha Sasuke's door demanding to know what had happened to their poor Sasuke-kuuun, Naruto laughed gleefully, ignoring Kakashi's triumphant smirk, Neji's troubled gaze, and Shikamaru's muttered 'troublesome'.
He was focused on Sasuke's expression, Sasuke's shock, Sasuke alone.
He smirked and pulled out a large bundle of cash, obviously given to him as thanks for letting the Uchiha live as temporary company, and waved it in front of the Uchiha's face. Sasuke's head followed the paper cotton like a fat kid would follow a cone of chocolate-sprinkledice cream after five rigorous weeks on the Atkins' diet.
Blue eyes laughed mischievously, the cobalt color twinkled in the sunlight pooling in from the window, and for a milli-fucking!-second, Sasuke forgot about the large, fat wad of treasure in his blond best friend's tanned hand...
... But he quickly remembered as the musical sound of joyously deceiving laughter reached his day-long tortured ears.
" Uchiha-san, refrain from so quickly forgetting, that 'Those who have the gold make the rules.' "
--
Don't assume anything yet, m'kay? Take guesses but do not assume. Because we all know what assume makes out of 'u' and 'me'. Haha... I've loved that quote ever since my English teacher used it.
Anyways...
Care to comment?