Authors Note: This is a smuffy little one shot. It's set the day after Danny and Lindsay's first night together but it's totally AU (in my mind it's late Season 2, but it could be anytime really!). It's not serious, there's no angst; it is intended to be tongue in cheek, humorous smut – let me know what you think :)
SallyJ beta'd and improved and gets lots and lots of :wub:.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended etc
Spoilers: None
Rating: M!
Summary: Danny misunderstands a conversation her overhears between Lindsay and Stella.
Hard Lesson, Well Learned.
'I tell you Stella, I was so disappointed. It was so much smaller than I thought it would be.'
Danny stilled as he heard Lindsay's voice from behind the lockers.
'Really? I'd always imagined it would be a fair size….I mean it always looked as if it was, from what I could see from the outside, so to speak.'
Stella's voice dripped with sympathy as Danny's breath caught in his throat. They weren't talking about what he thought they were talking about….were they?
'You know I'd been looking forward to it for so long; I had all these pictures, almost fantasies, in my mind about what it would be like, and it was such a disappointment. Really wasn't worth the time or the effort.'
Lindsay sounded pissed off. Danny's stomach tightened into a knot at the sympathetic noises Stella was making.
'Do you think he realised how you felt?'
'No. I made all the right noises and I'm certain he was convinced that I loved it.'
Danny winced at the disdain in Lindsay's voice and the laugh Stella gave.
'God, men are so stupid aren't they? You really would think the body language would give it away, but no, they prefer to believe the lies that come out of your mouth rather than accept they got it wrong. When are you going to tell him?'
Lindsay was giggling now.
'Tomorrow. He can have a bit of time to think that everything's OK before I burst his bubble. Anyway, he'll probably have found someone else by then and so he won't be as bothered.'
'Good idea. They always tell you that you're the only one but they never mean it.'
The sound of their lockers closing was followed by their footsteps as they headed to the door. Once they had exited the locker room, Danny sat down heavily on the bench as his mind replayed their conversation.
I was so disappointed……………Wasn't worth the time or the effort…………..I made all the right noises and I'm certain he was convinced that I loved it
Holy shit. She thought he was 'smaller than she'd expected'. He glanced down involuntarily at his groin. He'd never had any complaints before, and he knew from the urinals that he stacked up well as far as size was concerned, but obviously Lindsay didn't think so…….
It 'wasn't worth the effort'. That hurt, that really hurt. OK, well, maybe he hadn't taken as long as he would take normally but last night had been their first time and the tension and anticipation had got to both of them. The happy memories and warm feeling that had carried him from his apartment to work had disappeared; instead he could feel a cold lump of fear lodged in his stomach.
He shook his head trying to clear the thought of Lindsay lying beneath him, bored. He had always prided himself that no woman had to fake it with him…..except now that it seemed that Lindsay had.
She must have been bored out of her mind to make that much noise. Must have wanted the whole thing over and done with…..and she did leave quickly in the morning didn't she? And the last thing she said to you was 'there's something I need to tell you. I'm on call tonight so maybe tomorrow?' And you, you idiot, you thought she wanted to talk about your relationship.
The door to the locker room opened and he looked up warily as Flack appeared.
'There you are. Everyone's looking for you; we've got a match on the prints and we need you to tell us if the DNA matches as well.'
Danny stood up trying to force his thoughts to return to work matters. Flack was grinning knowingly at him. Danny couldn't think why.
'What?'
'Heard Lindsay talking to Stella…….'
Holy fuck, can this get any worse? Now Flack knows I've struck out too……
'……….Sounds like you had quite a time of it last night.'
The ear to ear grin on Flacks' face faded and turned into a frown. 'What's up with you? You've been pining over her for months; you finally hit a home run and you look as if you've just found out your dog died.'
Danny sat back down on the bench with a thud and put his head in his hands, rubbed his face and then looked up at Flack. 'How do you know if a woman's really enjoyed herself?'
Flack smirked, 'They always enjoy themselves with me, Messer.'
'How do you know they have?'
Flack stared at him in disbelief. 'You're not trying to tell me you think she didn't enjoy it are you?'
Danny groaned. 'I don't know. If you'd asked me this morning I'd have told you she had, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe I just didn't read the signals right.'
'What's to get wrong? You've done this enough to know when a woman's faked it, surely? Not that they ever have with me of course.'
Danny scowled at him. 'But that's the point isn't it. If they can fake it well enough how do you know? Ever had someone not return your calls or do the 'it was nice but I'm not looking for a relationship right now' line on you? Ever wonder if it's just their way of letting you down gently?'
The look of horror that crossed Flack's face would have had Danny howling with laughter at any other time, but not now.
'You my friend are depressing me. I don't have any problems satisfying a woman, none at all. I've certainly never had any complaints……. You've been after Lindsay so long that you've lost your confidence – you just left it to long between….you know…and….and….no, absolutely I have never had a woman walk away unsatisfied.'
Flack backed rapidly out of the room, pausing briefly at the door. 'If you think she didn't have a good time then you'll have to do what those chick magazines are always telling us we need to do…talk about it…ask her what she likes….ask her what you did wrong……'
Flack left rapidly, looking as if he would sooner cut off his testicles than follow his own advice to Danny.
Danny groaned, stood up and headed out of the locker room and into the lab. He picked up the DNA evidence to check it, but before he could look at the results Lindsay's scent wrapped itself around his senses giving him a moments warning before her arm slid between his lab coat and his shirt. Her hand casually dropped to caress his ass and his body responded even as he flinched as the memory of the locker room conversation returned.
She stared at him in surprise. 'You OK?'
'Ah, um…yeah, yup, never better….er, you?'
She looked at him as if he was mad. 'It must be catching. Flack just jumped a mile when I said 'hi', and shot off down the corridor saying something about 'it's never happened to him''.
She shook her head then rested her chin on his shoulder. He could feel her breath against his ear; it sent a shiver down his spine, as she continued.
'You know I said we needed to talk?'
His heart plummeted.
'Well Stella swapped nights with me, so come over to my place at the end of our shift; I've got something to tell you.'
When he didn't respond she stared at him perplexed. 'Danny?'
He pulled himself together and forced a smile onto his face. 'Yeah, right, OK, see you then.'
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the hours between the invitation being issued and him arriving at her apartment he had fluctuated between depression at the thought that he could have got it so wrong, and anger that she would laugh about it, about him, with Stella. A small voice of reason, tucked away at the back of his mind, kept reminding him that the Lindsay he knew would never treat him so badly, but the voice of his paranoia drowned it out.
By the time he arrived at her door he was thoroughly confused and very apprehensive. He knocked and the door flew open. She was dressed in a black dress that stopped a few inches above her knees and which was cut low enough for him to find himself staring fixedly at her breasts for a moment before he managed to tear his eyes away and meet her eyes. She had a very smug expression on her face and was clearly enjoying the effect the dress was having on him.
No way she'd dress like this to tell me it's over? Would she?
She slid her arms around his neck, pressing her hips close as she kissed him. He pulled her closer but rather than sink into the kiss he felt even more puzzled.
She pulled back, looking confused. 'What's wrong?'
The need to know was overwhelming. 'Look I might be crazy but I overheard you and Stella talking in the locker room today….'
She frowned slightly, as if trying to recall the conversation. He ploughed on.
'You were talking about how disappointed you were and that it was smaller than you expected, but that you'd made the right noises and you didn't think 'he' had realised.
Her face cleared and she beamed at him. 'Oh right, yes….well I was. I mean from the outside it had looked as if it was worth seeing but when I did see it ….well to be honest, there's no way I'd pay good money for it – total disappointment'
She pressed her lips to his, stopping when she realised he wasn't kissing her back. 'Danny, what's wrong with you?'
'Lindsay, what were you talking about?'
'What do you mean what was I talking about?
'The 'it's not as big as I thought' conversation. What were you talking about?'
She stared at him as if he was losing his marbles before answering him. 'I was talking about the apartment I went to see before work this morning.'
Danny stared at her as relief flooded him…………..closely followed by embarrassment that he had got it so wrong.
A strange look appeared in her eye. 'What did you think Stella and I were talking about?'
'I thought you were talking about me, about last night….god Linds I can't tell you how relieved I am that I misunderstood.'
He moved in for a kiss but her hand, placed between his lips and hers, stopped him.
'You thought I was telling Stella that you were smaller than I expected and that you were a total disappointment?'
Her eyes narrowed; she looked seriously pissed off.
'Ummm'
'You thought I'd talked to Stella about last night?'
Danny belatedly realised that he had stirred up a hornets nest………
She jabbed him with her finger, making him step backwards. She kept jabbing him and he kept stepping back as she hissed, 'Why would you think that I would tell Stella something like that? Weren't you paying attention last night?'
The back of his legs hit the couch and he sat down abruptly. She lent over him. He had a clear view of her breasts and the black lace bra that encased them. He swallowed as his pants suddenly became very tight.
'Why would you think I would do that?'
'Er, I don't know I just, I just…..oh fuck Linds I'm sorry.'
'Sorry. You're sorry? Well, we'll see about that………
He frowned as her face changed from pissed off to secretly amused. She straightened up and reached into the drawer of the table next to the couch, taking something out before she quickly swung herself astride his lap and pinned his hands behind his back. She pressed her lips against his as she moved her hips in a sensual motion and Danny stopped thinking about anything but the swelling in his pants, until he felt something metallic against his wrists and then a 'click'……………
'What the fuck?'
His hands were handcuffed behind his back and Lindsay had jumped up and was now surveying him, a highly amused look on her face.
'Right Messer – you stay there and you listen to me. What on earth made you think I was talking about you to Stella? I've never heard of anything so damn stupid in my life. You obviously need a few lessons in how to recognise when a woman's satisfied, so pay attention.'
The protest died on his lips and his jaw dropped open as she swept her dress off over her head. The swelling in his pants increased and his mouth was dry. She stood a few inches in front of him and slowly ran her hands over her body, pausing to play with her nipples through the lace of her bra.
'You remember running your hands over me like this last night don't you Danny? You used your thumbs to circle the nipples on my breasts like this.'
She threw her head back and a soft moan escaped her. Danny groaned and shifted trying to relieve the pressure.
Her skin had been so silky smooth and her breasts just the right size for his hands………
Her hands slid behind her and then the bra dropped to the floor. Danny temporarily forgot how to breath as she let her head fall forward, her eyes holding his.
'You used your mouth then didn't you Danny? First this one…..' she rolled an erect nipple between her thumb and forefinger, '…..and then this one.' She transferred her ministrations to the other breast.
'Holy hell Montana.' His voice was strangled as he struggled to breath.
She had tasted so good. Her nipples had puckered the moment he had taken them into his mouth. She had made soft little gasps as he had used his tongue and his teeth…..
She stepped closer and reached out a finger, placing it on his lips. He captured it in his mouth, suckling it as he had her breast the night before. Her eyes glittered dangerously as she pulled the finger from between his teeth and used it to circle first one nipple and then the next.
She lent closer, almost close enough for him to touch her but not quite.
'You want to do it again don't you Danny?'
'Yes.' He could barely get the word out.
'And do you remember hearing me moan Danny? I was saying 'god yes Danny, oh yes Danny.' Do you remember that? Well that was me letting you know that what you were doing was sending electricity to every part of my body and leaving me wanting you inside of me, moving inside of me. That was me letting you know just how good your mouth felt on me.'
She had dug her fingers into his hair…………….
She stepped back again and slid her hands slowly down her body.
'You remember doing this don't you? You remember sliding my panties off; you remember how wet they were don't you? How excited you had made me by then? How I was writhing on the bed, desperate to feel you inside of me? How I was begging you, 'Now Danny, please Danny now'.'
Her voice was breathless, her lips and nipples swollen. She moved sensuously as she ran her hands over her body. He'd never felt so turned on as he gasped,
'Come on Montana, get these cuffs off me and I'll do it all again.'
She had thrown her head from side to side as she begged him………..
She moved suddenly and straddled him, her hands gripping the side of his face forcing him to look up at her.
'You're having an important lesson Danny. It seems you don't know when you have satisfied a woman.'
He wanted to drop his head and capture a nipple between his teeth. Her naked form in his lap had increased the pressure in his pants to the point where he was about to go out of his mind.
She lent back so that he couldn't quite reach her. She ran her hands down her body and he felt his heart stop as she dropped one hand into the curls nestling between her legs.
'You remember what your mouth did down here don't you Danny? You remember me begging you, pleading with you don't you? You used your tongue in ways no man has ever used his tongue on me; I never knew it was possible to lose control like that. You remember don't you Danny….you remember me screaming when you made me come?'
'Yes….christ Linds, pleeeease…….'
She had screamed……..it had driven him crazy……….he'd nearly lost control……….
She lent forward and kissed him hard and then pulled back again, holding his eyes with hers as she moved one hand so that it massaged one breast, her finger and thumb teasing the nipple. The other hand began to move in the curls as she rotated her hips slowly.
Danny was in heaven….or was it hell? A naked Lindsay in his lap, bringing herself to a climax; the movement of her hips sending the most unbearable sensations through his groin.
'You remember what happened next don't you Danny? I begged you and you finally oh so slowly slid into me, but then you stopped, do you remember? You stopped half way in and wouldn't move but I grabbed your ass and wrapped my legs around your waist and then you were all the way in and it felt so good Danny, so, so good'
Danny choked as she slid first one and then another finger into her hot wetness. A shudder ran through him and he knew he couldn't hold on much longer.
She had felt so hot and tight as he had pushed into her…..it had felt so damn good…….
'I begged you; 'Harder Danny, harder, harder' but you went slowly….you tortured me until I was sobbing and pleading and crying out your name…..you remember that Danny….and you were so big, it felt so right to have you inside of me, filling me up, driving me insane.'
Her head dropped back as her fingers mimicked his movements from the previous night.
Hearing his name on her lips as she begged and pleaded with him had nearly sent him out of his mind…………………
'Oh god Danny, I'm coming….I'm…..ahhhhhhhhhh.'
Her body trembled violently as her climax swept through her. The last vestige of his control vanished and he did what he hadn't done since he was in school
'Fuuuccckkkk'
Lindsay slumped on top of him, her face resting in the crook of his neck as their breathing slowly returned to normal.
You shouldn't have worn your new pants Messer. You'll have to get them cleaned but you can't take them to Dino's; I mean how would you explain this to him, you'd never live it down. You'll have to take them to a cleaner where they haven't known you since you were a kid.'
He felt Lindsay move and managed to turn his head slightly and drop a kiss onto her naked shoulder.
She lifted her head and looked at him. 'So, you got any more stupid ideas about not satisfying me?'
He smiled weakly as he shook his head. She moved reluctantly and he felt her undo the cuffs. He immediately slid his arms around her; her skin was as every bit as soft as he remembered from last night. He tangled one hand in her hair as he kissed her. She snuggled into his embrace as she returned the kiss.
Settling her comfortably in his arms he suddenly remembered why he was here. He nudged her gently, 'So what was it you wanted to tell me?'
'Huh?' she sounded sleepy
'You invited me over because you had something you wanted to tell me. What was it?'
She moved slightly so that she could see his face. She was smiling softly. 'You remember how we feel asleep last night?'
She had fallen asleep, her back to him as he curled around her….she had fitted perfectly…..
'Hmmmmm'
You thought I was asleep but I wasn't…..I heard you Danny………'
He stilled and looked at her. His breath caught in his chest………….he waited for her to continue.
'………..I heard you tell me you love me…………….'
The thundering of his heart filled his ears as he stared at her, dumbstruck.
'………..did you mean it?'
She was staring at him, a slight flush to her cheeks, her eyes anxious.
He took a deep breath. Of everything he had expected to hear tonight this wasn't it.
Her body had relaxed and her breathing had steadied.
'Lindsay'
She hadn't moved and he knew she was asleep. He tightened his arms around her as he murmured into her hair, 'I love you.'
'Yes….yes, I meant it.'
A smile lit up her face and she snuggled closer as she murmured 'I love you too Danny.'
A/N: OK, now do I think that Danny would need lessons in how to know when a woman was satisfied….er…yeah, right, of course he would and, oh would you look at that, a pink pig's just flown past the window!
Dramatic licence OK? As I said at the start very much an AU!!!!!! Anyway, hope you enjoyed it ;)