Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

To:SasuHinaNaru: I should add some Yo Momma. If I did, a lot would probably be corny.

"You know honey, we can play and have fun." Jiraiya said and he leaned in close to my face.

"Pervy sage. You're so annoying. You should find a woman your age instead of bothering young girls." Naruto said.

"Naruto. Stop being rude. Well miss Hinata. I have to say you're the most beautiful person I ever seen." Jiraiya said while moving his hand to my waist. I put my face close to his. Naruto and Sasuke gave me a bewildered look.

"You know Jiraiya. You have been a very bad boy." I said seductively.

"Hehe. I have? So how are you going to punish me?" He asked while grinning like a maniac.

"This is how I will punish you. Big boy. First close your eyes." I said. Jiraiya closed his eyes.

"Hinata what the hell are you doing?" Sasuke hissed. I put my finger to my mouth. Jiraiya leaned his face even closer to me. I kicked him really really hard. Way harder than ever I kicked Kisame. I moved out the way when Jiraiya fell forward.

"Ow……" Jiraiya moaned.

"That's what pedophile/perverts get." I said.

"Good one, Hinata!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto. Are you and your company done eating?" Teuchi asked.

"Yeah! Thanks for the ramen, old man!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke and I thanked Teuchi, too.

"Sasuke. I can't believe you thought I would actually like that old perv." I said to him.

"Hmph." Sasuke said.

"Kakashi is WAY hotter." I said. Sasuke and Naruto looked at me like I was high.

"Hinata…have Deidara been giving you weed or crack?" Naruto asked.

"Are you smoking something?" Sasuke asked.

"No. I just feel so HAPPY…lala…lala.." I said.

"Actually I think Deidara gave me happy pills…" I said.

"Oook." Naruto and Sasuke said.

"Come on guys! Lets go visit Tsunade!" Naruto yelled, then pulled me and Sasuke with him. Naruto pulled us to the Hokage Tower.

"Hello children. How are you doing on this find day?" Shizune asked.

"Hey. Shizune. Where's TonTon?" I asked. I hate that little pink pig. The pig sometimes…no scratch that. Always reminds me of Sakura.

"TonTon is in the bathroom." Shizune stated and she left. I looked around and found a bathroom. Inside was a pig. It was walking on two feet. TonTon was walking like she's drunk.

"Come on already. I want to say hi to my favorite alcoholic Hokage." Naruto impatiently said. Naruto started jumping up and down. Sasuke tripped him. Naruto ended up pushing me. I fell into the bathroom.

OINK OINK OINKKKKK, TonTon squeaked. I looked down. Under me is a squished pig. Her face is on the ground. So her face looks like a pancake. I slowly got off the pancake looking ugly pig.

"What are ya persons doin' to my kitty cat?" Tsunade asked. She is drunk. Her eyes are starting to crisscross.

"5th Hokage, can you please stop being troublesome?" A voice asked. The person seemed very annoyed and irritated.

"Shut up, Shikamaru! You don't talk to the Hokage like that. Even if she's an alcoholic old lady." Ino yelled. She came into my sight. Standing behind her is Shikamaru. He is looking very tired and weird. His hair is out. Beside Shikamaru is a rather large kid. The kid is holding 3 bags of chips.

"Ino stop yelling. I'm trying to concentrate on my delicious chips. Sheesh." Chouji complained.

"Ino. Its your fault that 5th Hokage drunk all that sake. Shizune told us to watch her. Chouji and I told you that we were going to get some food." Shikamaru calmly explained.

"Hn. You guys shouldn't have left me to deal with her! So don't even try it! I don't think so." Ino argued.

"Heyyy boys. Stop staring at me." Tsunade said. Everyone turned their heads to Tsunade. Who was busy licking a pancake looking TonTon.

"Whatever. Hey Tsunade! Are there any missions that I can go on? Huh! Huh!" Naruto yelled. Tsunade blinked once. She blinked twice. Tsunade blinked a third time.

"What? Did my kitty cat just talk? Talk kitty, talk!" Tsunade asked. She bit TonTon on the tail.

OINKY OINKY OINKY OINKYYYY, TonTon shrieked. TonTon started to run around, knocking that everyone in sight.

"Hey little piggy. Come here. Get over here you pink rat!" Naruto yelled. He started to get frustrated when TonTon kicked him.

BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK WOOF BARK WOOF BARK WOOF BARKKK, Akamaru announced in his native language. Which is animal.

--------With Akamaru and TonTon---------

"Hey. Ugly pig. What the fuck are you doing?"

"Well. Mr. Dog, I running around like an idiot. Plus I'm causing destruction."

"Ugly pig. Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Because my owner does it sometimes. Anyway, my owner gave me this liquid that tastes sour at first. Then it tastes sweet. After the sweet part, there's a the part where you feel...so free...and...gay."

"Excuse me!? You little fat pig that went to the market and slept in your own crap. I have been drunk once before ,too. That doesn't me I'm gay. Got that you fucked up pig."

"You are a meanie. Leave me alone. Before...I...I...I'll bite your owner. Have nothing to say now, meanie!"

"Shut up! Why the fuck am I talking to a gay pig anyway? Go bite my owner. I don't give a shit. While you're at it, why don't you KISS MY ASS!" TonTon started pig crying.

Sniffle "Stop being a mean doggie. " Sniffle. Sniffle.

"Oh grow up. Ya ugly flat headed pig."

"You're such a mean dog!" More pig sniffles.

"Stop bitchin'. I rather hear the blonde named Naruto. And he's so annoying. All that kid every does it talk about ramen and Sakura. But now its just ramen. I swear. One day I'm going on a massacre. I'm going to kill all annoying motherfuckers in...err Konoha!"

"You are a strange, mean, scary, ugly, stinky, fu-"

"I would not be talking. Because that is all the things you are, little piggy."

"But...but...but..."

"Shut up. Ugly pancake pig."

Sniffle "Stop. Stop being mean. I..I don't like meanies." Sniffle. More sniffles.

"Wow. Who gives a whoop dee do. I sure as hell doesn't."

"Fine mutt. Be like that...I'll...