Disclaimer

Disclaimer: It's late, I'm tired and I don't own them!!! How many times do I have to say it?!

Author's note: Man... I finally finished this fic. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, so be expecting another one... I will end up doing a reflective fic on Saori... I will!!! But this ain't it... Just read it and enjoy it! And don't forget to review it!!

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Memories

Bye Lilas

A soft sigh escaped my lips and fogged the part of the window I blew at as the snow outside continued its ongoing torrent...The months had elapsed without notice and as I looked down on my hands and saw their soft shaking I wondered how long it had been since I had been in the sun laughing or playing with my friends... with his friends.

I tensed slightly as small tears glassed my vision and slowly made their way down my cheeks and splashed on the carpeted ground leaving a dark brown dot on the light brown floor... Dark brown just like his hair used to be... The same color as his wild, messy patch of brown hair used be as it flowed freely with the wind while the sun shone on it-

A sob escaped my lips and my knees gave out, sending me to the ground as my hands touched the cold window, my control over the tears losing its grip. After all this time, I thought I had cried all the tears I could possible have in my body, but the new ones sliding down my pale cheeks proved me wrong...

Why? Why did he abandon me? Why did-

A knock at the door made me look up and as the handle turned, I spotted long, flowing black hair fall from behind the door as a serene face peeked from behind it, gray eyes hesitant to look at mine. Why must they constantly disturb me in my loneliness? Why can't they just leave me alone with his memories? Why can't they just pretend I don't exist? Can't they see I died with him? That I died when he did not return to me after I called him in the middle of the crumbling pillars of hell?

Can't they see I'm afraid?

"Saori..." the soft voice spoke from behind the door.

"Go away," I mumbled softly as I watched the snow flakes pour outside my window and cover the ground with their eternal white beauty.

"But Saori..."

"Go away!" I shouted, turning around and throwing a pillow from the chair near by.

Tears once again rolled down my eyes as I tightened into a ball, my hands clutching my arms protectively... I wanted the pain to go away so bad, but I couldn't seem to be able to, to be able to let go of it and live as I had before...

"It's hurting us to see you like this, Saori..." Shyriu whispered from the door, his gaze shifting towards the carpeted floor.

"Please, Shyriu... Just a little longer..."

I watched as he nodded slowly and closed the door, drenching the room in a silence I found intolerable... If he'd been here, this room would have been alive and full of laughter... His laughter echoing across dimensions...

'Don't be sad'

I sniffed and a sarcastic snicker escaped my closed lips. As I looked up, in front of my twisted form, I could see him perfectly, as well as the window glimmering as I looked through him... He hadn't changed; then again how could he? He still wore the same clothes and his hair... His gorgeous brown hair fell about him wildly as his deep chocolate eyes shone despite his form...

"You can't comprehend what I'm going through... All because of you..." I whispered angrily as I glared at his transparent being.

'Saori... Don't do this to me. I hurt to see you like this'

"Then go away!! Why can't you leave me alone?! You're dead! Dead, do you hear me? I don't want to ever see you again!" I suddenly shouted, outraged at his words.

How dare he show himself to me every day and make me remember him? Make me remember how much I loved his gentle touch, his happy smile, his carefree nature... How dare he come back every day and whisper the words he never told me while he still lived? Had never told me even though they were the one thing I had been dying to hear? How can he have the courage to come back and see me cry and not be able to take me in his arms and kiss my tears away? I wouldn't come back... I wouldn't make myself suffer so much over someone...

Or would I?

'I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-'

"No, I'm sorry... I'm grateful you come and see me... I'm so frightened to forget you... To look at a mirror and not recognize the part of me that knew you so well..." I whispered feeling a soft wind on my shoulders and knowing his hands had come to rest on them.

'That's why I'm here, Saori-san. That's why I come back... To make sure you don't forget...'

"Thank you..." I whispered, meaning it with my whole heart.

'I apologize if I'm holding you back from any person you wish to fall in love with...'

"You are the only one... I promise..." I whisper, drying the tears from my eyes and looking up at him with a smile I had not felt curve on my lips for a long time. "Trust me."

'I always have, Saori-san... I always will...'

As his form vanishes, a melancholic sigh escapes my lips... I'll have to wait another excruciating twenty-four hours before seeing his lively face once more... Before being able to feel his hands brush mine like a soft breeze... I guess it's better than nothing, but sometimes, I wonder if it wouldn't be for the best to let him free and allow him to finally rest...