Disclaimer: Don't own Bones, don't own Maxim magazine, don't own anything else of substantial value….oh well, at least I'm not likely to get robbed, unless someone wants to steal my Analysis of Ancient Mythology textbook?

A/N: I have no idea if anybody is gonna be interested in this at all, the idea just popped in my head a minute ago and I didn't have anything else to do. So here you go- chapter one of a jealous love fest!!! Tell me what you think, hope you like it!

Hiya Bones, how ya doing?"

Booth came into the lab with a spring in his step, delighted that the day had yet to present any dead bodies. Seeing his partner standing at a lab table talking with Zack and Hodgins, he flashed them all a beaming smile as he let his thoughts momentarily stray to,

'Damn she looks gorgeous!'

Immediately conscious of his especially good humor, Brennan issued Booth a warm smile that made his heart skip a beat- literally stop for a painful second and then start racing in his chest.

"Morning Booth. You having a good day?" She asked him, her eyes shining in response to his good mood.

Booth nodded a friendly hello to Zack and Hodgins before fixing a charm smile on Brennan and replying,

"No new bodies in the lab today. That means nobody died and you don't have to identify their remains, so it's a good day for you."

He stands opposite from her across the stainless steel table and leaned forward, dimples appearing as his smile grew.

"And when you're having a good day," he locked eyes with Brennan, his charm taking on a life of its own. "I'm having a good day."

Brennan looked surprised for a second, uncomfortable with this even more open than usual flirting, then responded with a shy chuckling smile. Just as she opened her mouth to reply, Angela burst in the lab.

"Temperance Brennan! Are you crazy, don't you check your mail?!"

Angela stamped up to the exam table, glaring at Brennan's confused expression as Booth, Zack and Hodgins watched in shocked silence.

"Ange," Brennan began slowly, her forehead wrinkling. "No, I haven't checked my mail today. Why-"

Angela huffed and thrust an oversized envelope in at Brennan.

"Well, if you had, you would have seen this letter from Maxim sitting on your desk!"

Zack and Brennan looked at each other questioningly as Booth and Hodgins exchanged grins over the table.

"What's the matter, Angela?" Booth joked, stifling a laugh. "Bones forget to renew her subscription?"

Booth and Hodgins' met each other's eyes and burst out into loud guffaws that echoed in the mostly metal work area.

Angela shot Booth an irritated glance before diverting her urgent gaze back to Brennan.

"No, this is an official letter from Maxim Publishing Headquarters. Here sweetie, open it!"

Reluctantly taking the envelope from Angela's waving hand, Brennan studied it and asked,

"And what exactly is Maxim?"

As Brennan worked her finger into the corner of the sealed edge of the envelope, Angela smiled naughtily.

"It's this hugely popular, racy men's magazine. Now hurry up, open it!!!"

She bounced in agitation, her eyes focused on the letter in Brennan's hand.

Breaking the seal and tearing the paper, Brennan looked from Angela to Booth, then back to Angela.

"But why are they contacting me?"

Suddenly the smile dropped off Booth's face. As he visibly paled, staring at Brennan with an expression that could only be read as horrified fear, Angela squealed,

"Why do you think, Bren? They want you to pose for them!!"

Angela's words hit Booth with enough force to knock him down. Luckily, he was leaning on the exam table and responded by tightening his already white-knuckle grip on the edge.

"There's no way. There's just no way- right?" he babbled as he shook his head, absolutely and wholly terrified at this unspeakable idea.

Booth looked desperately around for confirmation. Zack observed the whole scene in a state of mute confusion, Hodgins looked immensely entertained, Angela was glowing with excitement, and Brennan was completely….uninterested?

She ripped the envelope open and pulled out a thick, folded sheet of stationary, her expression the same as if she were looking at a grocery list. Unfolding the paper, Brennan ignored Booth and cast a stern glance at her best friend.

"That's highly unlikely."

As Brennan's eyes scanned the letter, seconds ticked by and her face remained blank. His terror rocketing to dizzying heights, Booth mumbled to himself,

"Maxim doesn't want Bones for a centerfold, that's…just…."

Angela rolled her inky black eyes, then gave him that 'You're Not Fooling Me' grinning stare.

"Right, a prominent men's magazine is contacting this famous, sexy hunk of woman because they're writing an article on Alpha Male tendencies and they need her expertise."

Her sarcasm struck home, amplifying Booth's dread even more. Unable to stand the suspense any longer, Booth exclaimed,

"Come on Bones, what's it say?!"

Brennan lifted her pale eyes from the page and focused them on Angela.

"Apparently, I've been voted Sexiest Scientist of the Year, and they want me to pose for the cover of next month's issue." She turned her steady gaze on Booth.

Booth studied Brennan intensely, and saw just a quirk of a smile on her bemused face before a loud buzzing drilled in his ears and everything went black.

---Well, what'd ya think? I can continue it if anybody wants (I think I have the basic storyline figured out), but if it's totally lame or anyone else has already written something like this, it's easy enough to delete. I get the bad feeling this story sucks, so PLEASE REVIEW!!! NAKED BOOTH HAS BEEN KNOWN TO VISIT GOOD REVIEWERS AT NIGHT……oh yeah