Title: Forsaken Future
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tezuka/Fuji
Word Count: 1717
Summary: As Fuji desperately tried to move on, Tezuka remained still and waited for him to come home
Forsaken Future
By: Blufox
It is 10:00 in the evening. Minutes from now, Fuji is expecting Tezuka to be home with a restless look on his face. For the past few months, Tezuka had been working overtime, which barely led him to get enough food and sleep.
As much as Fuji wanted to stop Tezuka from stressing himself out, he couldn't. He knew exactly what their current financial standing is, and if Tezuka wouldn't be working overtime, the least thing that can happen is for their parents to break them apart for not being ready to support themselves; Fuji couldn't even think of the worst.
It hadn't been like this before, though. When they first started their relationship back in high school, they both decided that by the time they reach college, they'd be renting an apartment located near the university they'd be attending in. By the time that came, their parents supported them by paying for their expenses both in school and at home, noting that they were both college students and they still needed supervision. All have been simple and easy until the time they graduated from college and both their families decided to cut their support, pointing out that they have already entered adulthood.
Neither one of them knew the consequences of being an adult, but Fuji figured that even if they knew that they'd be facing this kind of stress, they'd still end up pursuing their relationship. However, unlike Tezuka who had been doing his best for them to survive, Fuji sees himself as none other than a burden.
Being a journalist, Fuji has to spend a lot of time writing, editing and proof-reading articles leading him to be incapable of searching for a part-time job. Even though Tezuka have been repeatedly assuring him that seeing Fuji welcome him home with prepared warm dinner for him is enough, he knew that Tezuka is struggling and currently pressured by stress.
And it is during these times when Fuji is alone; waiting for Tezuka to come home, when he wonders how much he had been holding Tezuka back. For countless of times, Tezuka have been declining job offers to send him to different countries knowing that their apartment holds a sentimental value to him. Tezuka thought nothing else but to make him happy, and yet he stood as nothing but a burden to him.
It wasn't long enough when Fuji heard the door open and saw Tezuka standing near it with a smile on his face when his thoughts have been disrupted. Being someone who has mastered to smile during the most unexpected times, Fuji knew that amidst the beautiful curve on Tezuka's lips, he is tired and restless. As Fuji absent-mindedly wiped off the tear that unconsciously escaped from his eye, he couldn't help but scream in fear as he watched Tezuka's body slowly collapsing towards the floor.
Fuji knew that his timing is off, but he figured that if weren't to do this now, he wouldn't be able to do it ever. With each passing day, Fuji couldn't help but love Tezuka more and more, and if he were to leave Tezuka tomorrow or the day after that, he knew that his love for him would be too strong to fight over logic.
As Tezuka gave him a goodbye kiss before heading off to work, Fuji couldn't help but kiss back with undying love and passion, which almost caused Tezuka to be absent for work if only Fuji didn't promise him that they'd continue where they left by the time he gets home. Tezuka could only nod in response and hastily head off to work, which made Fuji smile genuinely for the longest time. He knew that he'd be breaking Tezuka's heart by the time he'd get home welcomed by an empty apartment—but he didn't want to hold Tezuka back any longer.
Tezuka did not belong in the world they are now. He had always been on top. He always managed to break his limits, to exceed everyone's expectation. He is no way in place to live in a shabby apartment, struggling to financially survive with a lover who can never give him a child—a family of his own.
Fuji had been living in this fairytale with Tezuka for a long time—it's about time for him to wake up and give Tezuka back the life that he deserves.
In haste, Fuji started packing his clothes, and the rest of his things that had been left unpacked. Due to Tezuka's restlessness, it had been unknown to him that Fuji had been packing for the past few weeks. Fuji tried his best to keep Tezuka away from the storage room where he kept his things, and succeeded in doing so.
As Fuji zipped his last bag, tears started to fall freely from his eyes. Before he knew it, he was already on his knees, crying for the love that he chose not to fight for. It was only until he had a glance of their picture hanging on the wall when he decided to get up.
With tears continuing to fall from his eyes, he began collecting all their pictures together, packing it inside his bag. He figured that if he couldn't keep Tezuka for himself, then they should at least let him keep their memories together. Seeing that there is no more trace of him left in their apartment, Fuji headed towards the dining table as he pulled out a clean sheet of paper along the way.
He never knew that he could cry as much as he how he is crying right now. His tears never seem to stop, and the longer he stayed inside their apartment, the harder the throbbing of his chest gets. As he started writing his letter speaking of gratitude, forgiveness, and love that he will continue to feel no matter how far apart they are, the platinum ring resting on his finger caught his attention.
Slowly, he began to remove it from his finger and kissed it one last time as the memories of Tezuka handing that ring to him on the night of their first anniversary came flooding in his mind, causing him to cry tears even more. Ignoring the teardrops that had smudged some parts of his letter, he neatly folded it and placed it inside the envelope along with the ring he never knew (nor wanted) to give up.
It was only a few minutes later when he welcomed Tezuka's father inside their apartment, allowing him to help him carry his things towards his car in replace of giving Tezuka back to him—back to where he truly belongs.
Since the day Fuji left Tezuka, he moved in to America and started to live his life again. Moving out from Japan meant having to cut his connection off with everyone, but if that meant leaving no trace for Tezuka to follow, then he knew that it would be worth it. The more untraceable he gets, the greater the possibility rises up for Tezuka to move on.
Every once in a while, Fuji would call his family up, trying as best as he can to keep Tezuka off the topic in order for them not to worry about him. Being single since he left just strengthened everybody's theory that he is still not over Tezuka. He didn't want any of his family to think that Tezuka had enslaved him and kept him from moving on, because he never wanted Tezuka to feel exactly the way he felt when they were still together.
Until this point, three years later, with every night that passes by, Fuji continues to feel the nakedness of his ring finger and longed to feel to cold platinum bond to be wrapped around his finger once more. And with every night he'd go to sleep alone in his bed, tears will immediately fall from his eyes as he'd take a look at all the pictures of him and Tezuka before drowning himself with his own tears.
And yet unknown to him, in the other side of the world, Tezuka had never been able to move on since the day he left. Clinging unto the ring and letter he left him, Tezuka remained strong and fought against the love he never had the guts to fight for. Tezuka never faltered and began to work twice as much as he did when he was still around, for thoughts of bringing him comfort and satisfaction—something they didn't have when he left him.
And until this point, three years later, Tezuka would still remain to read his letter again and again, almost making it unreadable with the amount of tears that had been repeatedly shed unto it, before he'd go to sleep.
Unknown to him, Tezuka stayed in that same apartment they shared for 6 years and began sleeping on the couch since the day he left, hoping that one day, the knob would slowly turn itself leading him to meet the blue eyes of the only person he wishes to be with. And as he'd sleep on top of the couch, he'd hold a black box where a cold, untouched ring lies—the ring he planned to give Fuji during their upcoming 10th anniversary, which was only a few weeks before he left. The ring he worked so hard for, which caused him to work overtime for consecutive months. The ring he'd present to Fuji as he'd ask him to marry and spend the rest of his life with him.
And yet two rings were left untouched since the day Fuji left him. One that lies inside the box, and the other that is locked in a silver chain, wrapped around his neck. And as this 13 year old platinum ring brushes against his bare chest, a stubborn drop of tear escapes his closed eyes as he whispered "Happy anniversary" to the wind on the night of their supposed to be 13th anniversary.
There are some things that Fuji will never know, and some things that Tezuka will never understand.
And as both of them cried themselves to sleep, one man lies restless on top of his bed, regretting to never have realized that his son was where he truly belonged three years ago.
Fin.
A/N: Agh. I finally managed to write a sad ending. I always end up writing fluff or something that would mirror an "and they live happily ever after" relationship. So yeah. Yeay.
But I feel bad for making Fuji seem so selfish. But hey, don't judge him! Huhu. I mean, he did it for Tezuka. I know it's selfish, but when you start become selfless, you become selfish as well. It may not make sense, but it's true. Hahaha.
But anyway, REVIEWS PLEASE. :)