Chapter 1: Dib Has a Thought
"Time to wake up! Time to wake up! Time to wake up!" Dib awoke to the loud sound of his father's personal alarm clock; a slow moving robot, which kept yelling in your ear until you woke up or died trying.
"FOR THE LOVE OF.... I'm up. I'm up." Dib pushed away the large robot and slowly rolled out of his bed. Walking over to his closet, he noticed that the robot was still pushing at him and yelling in his ear even though he was fully awake. "Umm... you can stop now, I'm awake."
"WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!" The robot began to push him harder and harder after each command. Dib took the arms of the robot and began to wrestle it to the ground.
"I'M UP! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? NO RAPID EYE MOVEMENT HERE!" Dib stretched his eye open with two of his fingers and the robot slowly cranked its head over. The robot scanned his eye with a small laser that popped out of its shoulder and released Dib from its grip. The small boy turned to his closet with a sigh and looked through the different assortments of leather jackets. "Thank you, now if you would be so kind as to..."
"Proceeding to Level 2 wake up procedure." Dib quickly spun around to see a large assortment of missiles and gun turrets pop out of every side of the large metallic figure.
"SWEET SCARY MONKEY!" Dib quickly ran over to his night-side table and flung it over as to get protection from the robot. Just as the various assortments of missiles and bullets flew at him, Dib managed to jump behind the overturned table with his hands over his ears. "Why would Dad make an alarm clock robot WITH MISSLES?"
"WAKEUP WAKEUP WAKEUP WAKEUP!" The volley of missiles flew around the room blowing up nearly every personal item that the young paranormalist owned.
"MY CLOTHES! MY MAGAZINES! MY... assorted collection of nitroglycerin bombs...? A sad look came upon Dib's face as the missiles struck against the poorly placed collection of nitroglycerin relics. A huge explosion followed which blew out every window in Dib's house. As the smoke cleared from the large explosion, Dib stood alone in his now empty, darkened room in his underwear.
"Wow, that's pretty sad." Gaz walked past Dib's room, not even looking up from her video game. "You know, since all your clothes are now pretty much destroyed, you'll have to wear some of mine. Nice underwear by the way."
"...... I hate my life." Dib slowly walked out of his room and into Gaz's where he was now forced to wear the clothes that his sister wore on a regular basis. He slipped on the leather jacket and tight shirt. Dib sighed as he held up the dark colored skirt in front of his view and slipped it on over his legs. He climbed down the winding staircase and slowly walked into the kitchen where Gaz was eating her morning cereal.
"Ooo La La."
"Shut up Gaz and pass the cereal." Gaz passed the cereal labeled 'Johnny the Homicidal O's' to her brother. "You know all of this would have been considered the worst morning of my short life, if not for the special package I received yesterday."
"Not another one of your stupid Zim traps."
"Oh this is more than just a stupid 'trap'. This is the most intricate device in alien destroying technology known to mankind. BEHOLD!" Dib took out a small device and raised it above his head in glory. "THE LASER RAY!!!"
Gaz looked at the small device for about 5 seconds and turned back to her cereal. "Don't know how to break this to you, but that's not a light ray. That's a flashlight with 'Light Ray' etched into the side. Not only is it a poorly made flashlight, but 'Light Ray' is spelled wrong."
Dib quickly looked back at his device and looked back up at his sister. "NEVERTHELESS! This will be the instrument of Zim's destruction and I will be the savior of the earth. Get ready Zim, cause today is MY INDEPENDENCE DAY!"
"That was from a movie wasn't it?"
"......I hate you Gaz."
Zim kept working away at his various assortments of devices and knick-knacks as the sun popped up through the small window... Did I just say knick-knacks?.... Anyway, Zim was working hard when Gir ran right next to him.
"Whatcha doin?" the small robot asked in his dog disguise as he poked at each of the devices.
"GIR! Refrain from touching these devices, they are extremely delicate and if provoked may cause havoc on a worldwide scale."
"This one looks like a toaster." Gir lifted it up over his head and looked at each of the slots. Two pieces of bread popped out of his mouth and he quickly put them into the slots.
"GIIIR NOOO!" Zim quickly tried to take the toast out of the contraption but it was too late. The machine activated and light began to burst from it as the two pieces of toast pulled themselves out.
"FREE!" The two pieces of toast began to run around Zim's lab and Zim slapped his hands against his head.
"Gir, help me catch these infernal pieces of toast or surely they will bring about the end of the universe! And for the love of all things Irken, DON'T EAT THEM!"
"Ohhh, I wanted toast." Gir said as he looked sadly at the two running pieces of toast. As the invader and robot ran after the rebel pieces of toast, the tallest appeared on Zim's large screen, arguing with one another.
"You talk to him!"
"No you talk to him!"
"No it's your turn, remember I did it last time."
"THAT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"Tallest?" Zim quickly ended his pursuit of the rampaging toast and saluted. "This is an unexpected surprise, I don't think you've ever called me here at my home base."
"Well, we don't want to catch wind of any of those disgusting stink beasts." The purple tallest said as he looked nervously at Zim. "All except for that good looking Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall (inside joke)."
"Riiiiight." The red tallest slowly inched away from his counterpart. "Anyway Zim, it is to our horror... I mean to our delight that we ask you to come back to Irk for your annual report."
"I can't believe we're doing this." The purple one whispered to his red equal.
"Hey, you wanna get court martialed by the council? Its regulation, we have to."
"You mean I get to get off this stink world and come back to Irk? FINALLY! Thank you your tallest, I'll be there at the dawn of the next morning."
"Very well Zim, Tallest out."
"What's a mor-nin-g?" As the purple tallest said this, the screen faded out and Gir walked back up to his master.
"Gir, where are the toast?"
"I didn't eat them!"
"Good."
"They crawled into my mouth and walked down my throat, they love me." Zim sighed as the small robot began to run around the lab once more and Zim got ready for school.
Dib walked onto the bus in his long skirt and girl's shirt and jacket with a smile on his face. All of the kids began to laugh at the poorly dressed boy.
"You look stupid." Yelled the webbed-toed boy as he pointed at Dib. Dib shrugged off the laughs and taunts and sat down in the closest seat available. He looked from side to side, seeking the alien boy who had caused him so much pain in the past. Finally, he found Zim sitting three seats behind him, working on yet another of his little projects.
"Finally, today Zim," Dib said as he brought the horribly designed light ray out of his backpack. "today is the day when I eat candycane and kick ass, and I'm all out of candycane."
"Again," Gaz said as she interrupted Dib's thought, "that's from a movie isn't it?"
"Quiet Gaz!" Dib said angrily, Gaz simply ignoring him playing her video game. After scolding his sister, Dib began to slip under each of the seats, sneaking closer and closer to Zim. Seeing Zim's feet dangling above him, Dib switched on the light ray and flashed it on Zim's green head. "DIE ALIEN FIEND!" The light ray kept moving across Zim's forehead, face and eyes and still had absolutely no effect.
"In a case like this, human filth, I would give you such a hurting, but this is just sad."
"You can't fool me Zim, this light ray will eventually melt through your face. Therefore I reiterate, DIE ALIEN SCUM!" Dib kept annoyingly flashing the light across Zim.
"Luckily I will no longer have to put up with your mildly annoying attempts any longer." Zim crawled off his seat and walked past Dib.
"What do you mean by that?" Zim turned around with a smile across his green face as Dib turned off the non effective light ray.
"Why, I'm going back to Irk. And when I come back, I will be followed by an army of UNFORTOLD DESTRUCTIVE..... thingies. See you later, Dib, if there is one for your species." Zim got off the bus as Dib walked next to his sister with an astonished look on his face.
"OH NO! THIS MAY BE THE.... wait a minute." Dib's scared look quickly changed to a look of glee as he started skipping around his sister.
"Stop that or I'm going to have to hurt you severely."
"Don't you see Gaz? This is perfect! If I can make it to Irk with Zim, I can infiltrate his homeworld and have earth invade Irk before Irk invades us. TRULY THIS IS THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT!"
"You don't even know what that means do you?" Gaz said as she took a second away from her video game.
"......NEVERTHELESS!"
End Chapter 1
What will happen next? Will Zim truly get an invasion started? Will Dib stop it in time? Will Gir get indigestion? Will I ever stop talking like this? Join me won't you for Chapter 2: Green Giant Aplenty (don't ask.)
"Time to wake up! Time to wake up! Time to wake up!" Dib awoke to the loud sound of his father's personal alarm clock; a slow moving robot, which kept yelling in your ear until you woke up or died trying.
"FOR THE LOVE OF.... I'm up. I'm up." Dib pushed away the large robot and slowly rolled out of his bed. Walking over to his closet, he noticed that the robot was still pushing at him and yelling in his ear even though he was fully awake. "Umm... you can stop now, I'm awake."
"WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!" The robot began to push him harder and harder after each command. Dib took the arms of the robot and began to wrestle it to the ground.
"I'M UP! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? NO RAPID EYE MOVEMENT HERE!" Dib stretched his eye open with two of his fingers and the robot slowly cranked its head over. The robot scanned his eye with a small laser that popped out of its shoulder and released Dib from its grip. The small boy turned to his closet with a sigh and looked through the different assortments of leather jackets. "Thank you, now if you would be so kind as to..."
"Proceeding to Level 2 wake up procedure." Dib quickly spun around to see a large assortment of missiles and gun turrets pop out of every side of the large metallic figure.
"SWEET SCARY MONKEY!" Dib quickly ran over to his night-side table and flung it over as to get protection from the robot. Just as the various assortments of missiles and bullets flew at him, Dib managed to jump behind the overturned table with his hands over his ears. "Why would Dad make an alarm clock robot WITH MISSLES?"
"WAKEUP WAKEUP WAKEUP WAKEUP!" The volley of missiles flew around the room blowing up nearly every personal item that the young paranormalist owned.
"MY CLOTHES! MY MAGAZINES! MY... assorted collection of nitroglycerin bombs...? A sad look came upon Dib's face as the missiles struck against the poorly placed collection of nitroglycerin relics. A huge explosion followed which blew out every window in Dib's house. As the smoke cleared from the large explosion, Dib stood alone in his now empty, darkened room in his underwear.
"Wow, that's pretty sad." Gaz walked past Dib's room, not even looking up from her video game. "You know, since all your clothes are now pretty much destroyed, you'll have to wear some of mine. Nice underwear by the way."
"...... I hate my life." Dib slowly walked out of his room and into Gaz's where he was now forced to wear the clothes that his sister wore on a regular basis. He slipped on the leather jacket and tight shirt. Dib sighed as he held up the dark colored skirt in front of his view and slipped it on over his legs. He climbed down the winding staircase and slowly walked into the kitchen where Gaz was eating her morning cereal.
"Ooo La La."
"Shut up Gaz and pass the cereal." Gaz passed the cereal labeled 'Johnny the Homicidal O's' to her brother. "You know all of this would have been considered the worst morning of my short life, if not for the special package I received yesterday."
"Not another one of your stupid Zim traps."
"Oh this is more than just a stupid 'trap'. This is the most intricate device in alien destroying technology known to mankind. BEHOLD!" Dib took out a small device and raised it above his head in glory. "THE LASER RAY!!!"
Gaz looked at the small device for about 5 seconds and turned back to her cereal. "Don't know how to break this to you, but that's not a light ray. That's a flashlight with 'Light Ray' etched into the side. Not only is it a poorly made flashlight, but 'Light Ray' is spelled wrong."
Dib quickly looked back at his device and looked back up at his sister. "NEVERTHELESS! This will be the instrument of Zim's destruction and I will be the savior of the earth. Get ready Zim, cause today is MY INDEPENDENCE DAY!"
"That was from a movie wasn't it?"
"......I hate you Gaz."
Zim kept working away at his various assortments of devices and knick-knacks as the sun popped up through the small window... Did I just say knick-knacks?.... Anyway, Zim was working hard when Gir ran right next to him.
"Whatcha doin?" the small robot asked in his dog disguise as he poked at each of the devices.
"GIR! Refrain from touching these devices, they are extremely delicate and if provoked may cause havoc on a worldwide scale."
"This one looks like a toaster." Gir lifted it up over his head and looked at each of the slots. Two pieces of bread popped out of his mouth and he quickly put them into the slots.
"GIIIR NOOO!" Zim quickly tried to take the toast out of the contraption but it was too late. The machine activated and light began to burst from it as the two pieces of toast pulled themselves out.
"FREE!" The two pieces of toast began to run around Zim's lab and Zim slapped his hands against his head.
"Gir, help me catch these infernal pieces of toast or surely they will bring about the end of the universe! And for the love of all things Irken, DON'T EAT THEM!"
"Ohhh, I wanted toast." Gir said as he looked sadly at the two running pieces of toast. As the invader and robot ran after the rebel pieces of toast, the tallest appeared on Zim's large screen, arguing with one another.
"You talk to him!"
"No you talk to him!"
"No it's your turn, remember I did it last time."
"THAT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"Tallest?" Zim quickly ended his pursuit of the rampaging toast and saluted. "This is an unexpected surprise, I don't think you've ever called me here at my home base."
"Well, we don't want to catch wind of any of those disgusting stink beasts." The purple tallest said as he looked nervously at Zim. "All except for that good looking Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall (inside joke)."
"Riiiiight." The red tallest slowly inched away from his counterpart. "Anyway Zim, it is to our horror... I mean to our delight that we ask you to come back to Irk for your annual report."
"I can't believe we're doing this." The purple one whispered to his red equal.
"Hey, you wanna get court martialed by the council? Its regulation, we have to."
"You mean I get to get off this stink world and come back to Irk? FINALLY! Thank you your tallest, I'll be there at the dawn of the next morning."
"Very well Zim, Tallest out."
"What's a mor-nin-g?" As the purple tallest said this, the screen faded out and Gir walked back up to his master.
"Gir, where are the toast?"
"I didn't eat them!"
"Good."
"They crawled into my mouth and walked down my throat, they love me." Zim sighed as the small robot began to run around the lab once more and Zim got ready for school.
Dib walked onto the bus in his long skirt and girl's shirt and jacket with a smile on his face. All of the kids began to laugh at the poorly dressed boy.
"You look stupid." Yelled the webbed-toed boy as he pointed at Dib. Dib shrugged off the laughs and taunts and sat down in the closest seat available. He looked from side to side, seeking the alien boy who had caused him so much pain in the past. Finally, he found Zim sitting three seats behind him, working on yet another of his little projects.
"Finally, today Zim," Dib said as he brought the horribly designed light ray out of his backpack. "today is the day when I eat candycane and kick ass, and I'm all out of candycane."
"Again," Gaz said as she interrupted Dib's thought, "that's from a movie isn't it?"
"Quiet Gaz!" Dib said angrily, Gaz simply ignoring him playing her video game. After scolding his sister, Dib began to slip under each of the seats, sneaking closer and closer to Zim. Seeing Zim's feet dangling above him, Dib switched on the light ray and flashed it on Zim's green head. "DIE ALIEN FIEND!" The light ray kept moving across Zim's forehead, face and eyes and still had absolutely no effect.
"In a case like this, human filth, I would give you such a hurting, but this is just sad."
"You can't fool me Zim, this light ray will eventually melt through your face. Therefore I reiterate, DIE ALIEN SCUM!" Dib kept annoyingly flashing the light across Zim.
"Luckily I will no longer have to put up with your mildly annoying attempts any longer." Zim crawled off his seat and walked past Dib.
"What do you mean by that?" Zim turned around with a smile across his green face as Dib turned off the non effective light ray.
"Why, I'm going back to Irk. And when I come back, I will be followed by an army of UNFORTOLD DESTRUCTIVE..... thingies. See you later, Dib, if there is one for your species." Zim got off the bus as Dib walked next to his sister with an astonished look on his face.
"OH NO! THIS MAY BE THE.... wait a minute." Dib's scared look quickly changed to a look of glee as he started skipping around his sister.
"Stop that or I'm going to have to hurt you severely."
"Don't you see Gaz? This is perfect! If I can make it to Irk with Zim, I can infiltrate his homeworld and have earth invade Irk before Irk invades us. TRULY THIS IS THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT!"
"You don't even know what that means do you?" Gaz said as she took a second away from her video game.
"......NEVERTHELESS!"
End Chapter 1
What will happen next? Will Zim truly get an invasion started? Will Dib stop it in time? Will Gir get indigestion? Will I ever stop talking like this? Join me won't you for Chapter 2: Green Giant Aplenty (don't ask.)