In a Name
Summary: What is, really, in a name? Is it trust? Or simply belief? Angst. RoyxEd. Spoilers. M for light lemon.
a/n: OK, so I should be working on TP, but this just popped into my head. Read slowly. It's better, trust me.
Even in the heat of sex, Mustang never says his name.
"Fullmetal," he moans into the boy's shoulder. "Ah, Fullmetal...!"
Edward sometimes wonders why he lets the man do it, why he can put up with it. He doesn't want to hear that dog's name. He wants to hear the name his mother gave him.
"Roy," he begs desperately, half for pleasure and half as a plea to hear a response.
He knows what Fullmetal is trying to get out of him. He knows what the boy wants to hear. Mustang opens his mouth, but only a muffled moan escapes him.
I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
The boy lets out a frantic whimper, a high-pitched wail. Roy knows he's close and pounds harder into him, tries to apologize by giving him as much pleasure as he can, even though he knows it will never be enough.
"I love you, Fullmetal."
Please, forgive me.
As he comes, he's crying.
-+-
Edward knows why he lets the man do it, and it's not just the pleasure Roy makes him feel. Lying beside the man this night, he realizes it when Mustang noses his ear, licks his neck, whispers the three words.
Lips across his jawline, stealing his own.
You bastard, I think I love you too.
Roy twists his tongue again.
I know this will never be enough for you, Fullmetal...
But I can't say it...
Not until I'm sure you'll never leave me.
Only then can I recognize you as real.
-+-
Not even a kiss goodbye.
"Come back alive." It's all the man says. The blond turns and runs before his mind has a chance otherwise. He can't. Not with Riza watching, waiting in the car.
You bastard. I love you.
Roy goes to face the demon. His demon.
Goodbye, Fullmetal.
-+-
The ghost has been haunting him since the boy left. He can only see it with his left eye.
He left two years ago.
Roy mourns daily. He's reminded every time the blond-haired ghost flits past his peripheral vision.
I loved you.
I love you.
It's ironic, he thinks, how reality can be blurred by desire. It's ironic how Roy only sees him when he's awake. There are no dreams. No lost lover returning in his sleep. Just a void. And a ghost.
I love you.
Edward.
It's ironic, he thinks, how the only time you're sure someone won't leave you is when they're already gone.
a/n: This was purposely written with very little description. I thought it suited the style better. Well, that was depressing. I plan to make a doujinshi for this, if I ever find the time. For those who don't know, I have a deviantART account.