Chapter Eight

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen to happen next- delicious ambiguity! Gilda Radner

"This was a really, really bad idea…" Marissa said silently to herself as she stepped into the Newport Yacht Club. Ever since Anna's revelations a week earlier, her emotion's had taken more up's and down's than a rollercoaster. On the one hand, Ryan had basically given into her demands and left the Marines but on the other hand, why had he not contacted her at all? Thoughts kept running through her head at a rampant pace.

"Don't worry, I've never gotten used to it either." Anna said as she suddenly appeared next to Marissa. Once again a stab of jealousy ran through Marissa as she saw how drop dead gorgeous Anna looked.

"Hey Anna…" Marissa answered, still not entirely convinced of Anna's sincere intentions.

"Ryan's going to be a bit late. He's a bit… Let's just say he is indisposed." Anna explained. Marissa wasn't sure why the blonde girl was telling her this.

"Why are you dong this Anna? You don't owe me anything so why are you trying to help me?" Marissa asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.

Anna smirked in that irritating know-all way that Marissa has come to despise and said, "There you go again with the directness… I'll tell you, but only because I appreciate you not beating around the bush… I'm doing it because I love Ryan and he loves you. If there was even a miniscule chance that he might still have a shadow of a feeling for me, I would shove you out of the way so fast it would make your head spin. But he doesn't love me and so I am trying to do the next best thing, be his friend. And as his friend, I am helping you…"

Marissa was taken a back. She didn't know Anna's feelings for Ryan ran that deep. "For what it's worth, I really do appreciate your help. One day I will repay you." Marissa said sincerely, for the first time feeling for the blonde girl because at one stage she also coveted unrequited love for Ryan and understood the pain it caused…

"You can repay me by making Ryan happy and not hurting him…" Anna replied with a sad smile. "Caleb just arrived; maybe he will give me an exclusive interview about his supposed retirement." Anna excused herself, heading towards Caleb she left Marissa alone with her thoughts.

Because she didn't really know anyone at the party she kept to herself, awaiting Ryan's arrival. There was a commotion at the door and she was certain it was Ryan. Her suspicions were confirmed when a familiar head appeared in the door. She would know that dirty-blonde buzz cut anywhere. Her spirits sank when she saw a girl on his arm. The girl was a model she had seen a few times on the covers of magazines.

She was confused. What was going on here? Had Ryan not left the Marines for her? And if he did, why was he floundering around with some floozy?

She made her way over to where the cameras were taking photos of the couple and she felt bile rise in her throat due to the way the girl had her hands all over Ryan. She stood there dazed and confused, until Summer approached Ryan with a scowl, pulling him away from the throng of people towards a quiet corner. Marissa silently followed.

She knew it was wrong but she was compelled to eavesdrop on the hushed conversation taking place between Ryan and Summer.

"Are you drunk?" Summer demanded and Marissa could here the outrage in her voice.

Ryan gave a dry laugh and said, "What's it to you?"

In her minds eye she could almost see Summer's eyes narrow and close the gap between herself and Ryan when she spat, "You're drunk! I can't believe it!"

"No, Summer, I'm not drunk, not yet at least, but soon enough I will be." Ryan said, deadly serious.

"If you're not drunk then what the hell are you doing whit that skank!? Are you high?" Summer said indignantly and added even more fervently, "You are high!"

Ryan's laugh rose above the chatter causing quite a few people to turn their way and Summer to blush. "I am not drunk. I am not high. I am not under the influence of anything. Heidi promised me a good time and who am I to turn her down?"

Marissa couldn't believe her ears. How could Ryan be so indifferent about it all? Evidently, Summer couldn't believe it either, judging by her next words, "This isn't you Ryan. You're not that guy."

"Apparently, I am. Enjoy the evening Summer. Have some brie, it's to die for." Ryan said apathetically, leaving behind a stunned Summer.

This was her que Marissa decided and stepped in front of Ryan, effectively stopping him dead in his tracks.

He went pale as a sheet and said, in barely a whisper, "Marissa." The blood seemed to remember where it was supposed to be and rushed back into his face. Ryan added in a more furious tone of voice, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Right. Her plan never extended into actually talking with him. She had thought she would just have to show up. Clearly, that wasn't going to happen and she would have to wing it!

"Can we perhaps go somewhere and talk?" Marissa asked, certain that what she wanted to say, she didn't want to say in front of a crowd. Also it would give her a bit more time to get her thoughts together.

"No! You and I have nothing to say to each other." Ryan said loudly, once again causing the people to stare.

"Just go Ryan; you don't want to make a scene. Caleb will never forgive you." Kirsten, whose arrival, went unnoticed by both Ryan and Marissa, said.

Ryan relented and Marissa shot a grateful look to Kirsten before heading off behind Ryan. They headed to a secluded spot just outside the Yacht Club, overlooking the beach and breakers.

Ryan turned, the rage still etched in his features. "So?"

Marissa gave a nervous laugh and it elicited a deeper frown from Ryan. "I haven't really figured out how I going to start or what I was going to say…"

"In other words, you're wasting my time!" Ryan roared and turned to leave. Marissa reached out to stop him and it sent and electric current running through the both of them. She quickly pulled her hand away. There was an inexplicable look of hurt that momentarily settled in Ryan's eyes as he stared into Marissa's eyes.

She had to swallow before she could speak, "There really is a lot I need to explain."

"No, there really isn't!" Ryan countered.

"Why won't you give me a chance?" Marissa yelled, close to hysterics.

Ryan twisted towards her and it seemed as if all his anger dissipated. "You know what Marissa; I'm giving you an easy out. You don't owe me anything. Let's go back inside because I can't be here. It's too hard."

"An easy out? What the hell are you talking about?" Marissa asked confused.

Her confusion seemed to fuel Ryan's rage and it returned with zealous. "What am I talking about? You can't be serious!" When he saw he got no reaction he continued, "When we last saw each other, you gave me an ultimatum and the entire time I was out there, helping my friends I couldn't get you out of my mind. When the op was done, my CO said I could take out a Hornet to see if it still feels the same."

Ryan looked away and he looked like a lost little boy when he carried on, "I sat in the cockpit and as the sea sped by me I couldn't believe that I had given up on you for that. As soon as I got out of that plane I gave in my wings and hoped and prayed that even after all I had said there might be a chance, a glimmer of hope that you might take me back. All the reasons I loved the Marines didn't mean anything anymore, you meant so much more. I gave it all up for you… And then," Ryan said and it looked as if he was having trouble breathing, "Then I realised that what had meant the world to me meant nothing to you. We might have only been together for two days but it was the happiest two days in my life and you moved on as if nothing happened."

Confusion. Anger. Pain. All these emotions were running through Marissa's mind. What the hell was he on about? Marissa stepped closer to Ryan, needing to touch him to assure him of her love. "Ryan… What…"

He didn't give her a chance though because he stepped away from her, putting his hands up in a stopping gesture, "Don't. Just… Don't. I don't need your sympathy. I understand. I really do. I wouldn't be able to love someone like me either. It was only natural that you run back to Anthony…"

If Ryan hadn't sounded so wounded Marissa would've laughed. "What does Anthony have to do with this?"

Ryan sounded dumbfounded when he said, "Are you really going to force me to do this?"

"Ryan, I really have no idea what you are saying. Where does Anthony fit into this? This is between me and you."

Ryan shook his head with a frown between his eyes. "Anthony has everything to do with this! I gave up the Marines, just like you asked! I even asked Caleb for a job in the hopes that that would persuade you of my intentions! But what do I see when I open up a paper? An article stating that you were getting married to him shortly after the District Attorney elections…"

It suddenly dawned on Marissa that this was all a very bad misunderstanding. "Ryan, you have it all wrong."

Ryan sneered. "That is what I thought as well, and then I had my brand new secretary phone your dearest fiancé and ask him about it. Of course it was all under false pretences and he thought he was going to be in the new edition of Newport Living, but he confirmed it. He confirmed it! So don't you come here to my party and act all holier-than-thou, saying you want to talk! I don't need this! I get that you can't love an ex-hooker. I don't need you to explain yourself!"

Ryan's veneer had no finally cracked and there were definite tears in his eyes.

Marissa grabbed Ryan by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. "We aren't engaged." Marissa said and when Ryan looked away she put her hands on both sides of his face, keeping their eyes connected. She needed to make him see the truth. "We're not engaged. That day when I went to call it off, he asked if we could not announce it to the world until after the elections."

Ryan looked at her, still a bit unconvinced. There was something in his voice when he spoke. Was it perhaps hope? Marissa prayed it was. "You're not engaged?"

Marissa shook her head in denial. "After I left that night, I hated myself. You were right, I had no right to force you to make a choice. I wanted to come and beg you to take me back but I was afraid you wouldn't want me back…"

Ryan's face softened. "Not want you? Marissa…"

Marissa put a finger on his lips, in effect silencing him. "It's my turn to talk, you had yours." She smiled and carried on, "Then out of nowhere, Anna gives me an invitation for tonight along with an article stating that you were joining the Newport Group and so I took that as a sign. I realised you picked me, and that we should be together, and that despite everything, if you loved me enough to stay, I love you enough to not let you stay..."

"Are you done?" Ryan asked straightforwardly and when Marissa nodded in affirmation he captured her lips with his own.

For a few brief minutes, the world seemed to stand still as Ryan kissed Marissa. All their problems were nonexistent because for that time, in that moment, nothing else mattered.

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Four years later

Marissa was laying in bed tossing and turning. She just couldn't sleep without Ryan next to her. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was just passed two am. She fell back against the pillows with a huff, trying yet another position when she heard the door of their house open. She smiled when she recognised Ryan's distinct pattern of walking. She could pick out Ryan's footsteps anywhere because his knee never did heal completely, leaving him with a slight limp. The pain came and went and some days were better than others but she could tell by the way he was moving that today was a bad day. As she heard Ryan walking around she thought about their past and how they had gotten where they were.

Ever since that fateful night, just over four years ago, things had changed dramatically for Ryan and Marissa. Even though Marissa persisted that he could remain in the Marines, Ryan left anyway, saying that she is his dream now and that he doesn't need the Marines to make him feel wanted. He did join the Newport Group after all, but not as CEO-in-training as Caleb intended, instead he convinced his grandfather to take over a small charter company which Ryan turned into one of the largest on the west coast, a feat which earned him the nickname Midas from Caleb, because, says Caleb, everything Ryan touches turns to gold. He still flies one of the planes himself sometime, "to stay in tune" he usually jokes. Marissa had opened a practice in Newport with Sandy and Kirsten's help so that she could remain close to Ryan. Ryan and Marissa had finally moved in together two years after getting together and whilst their house was not as extravagant as the Cohen's, they had preferred to get one where they could stay relatively anonymous.

Summer and Marissa had also developed a strong friendship with Summer, born out of their mutual love for Ryan. Marissa could never be jealous about Summer's relationship with Ryan because he would always be everyone's best friend whilst she would be the one who he goes home with.

Home. That word brought a smile to Marissa's face. Home had always been a vague idea for her, she heard people say that home is where you hang your hat but for her home or that home is where the heart is but is only after she found Ryan that she understood the true meaning of home.

There was only one dark cloud in front of her sun. That Saturday was Summer's wedding and she couldn't help but feel jealous of her. She couldn't understand why Ryan had not yet asked her to marry him. They had talked about it and both agreed that marriage was in their future. They were in the perfect stage of their relationship hitherto Ryan has yet to take that last step.

She was pulled from her thought when the bed sank next to her and she could sense the familiar feel of Ryan's body pressing against her own.

"Hey…" Marissa said and flayed herself of his chest, tucking her head under his chin. "You were out late?"

"Hmmm…" Ryan said noncommittally, piquing Marissa's interest.

"Where were you?" She asked curiously.

"I had to pick up something in Portland so I took one of the charters that were headed there…" Ryan explained before he switched off his bedside light and snuggled himself into his pillow, efficiently ending the conversation as he prepared himself to go to sleep. Marissa however was having none of it because her curiosity had the upper hand.

Marissa turned on her bedside lamp, earning her a groan from Ryan as she asked, "What did you have to pick up?"

Ryan rolled over so that he was staring her straight in the eyes, "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

Marissa nodded and grinned like a cat when she said, "You know I won't so you might as well tell me."

For his part, Ryan got out of bed, stifling a yawn and groaning when he stepped on his bad leg. He searched through the pockets of the pants he had just taken off and said with his back to Marissa, "Okay, I'll show you but when we're old and grey and all your friends have these great stories to tell and you don't, remember that you wanted to spoil the surprise…"

The dark cloud systematically began to disappear as the realisation of what Ryan was talking about was slowing sinking and Marissa's heartbeat seemed to double instantaneously.

Ryan shuffled over to her side of the bed and sat down. In his hand he had a ring box and when he opened it Marissa was shocked speechless by the sheer beauty of it. His eyes conveyed more than words ever could when he jokingly said, "I'm not getting down on one knee because it'll hurt like a son of a bitch and I'm not sure I'll be able to get up…" He then added in a more sombre tone, "All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us as well. Marissa, you are that person for me, you and I, we've been through a lot, not always coming out unscathed in the end but always coming through together. There is nothing I want more in this world I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me."

Her answer, of course, was lost somewhere between his mouth and hers as she had already shown her affirmation by kissing him with all the love she possessed. The last coherent thought she had was that when she was old and grey and all her friends were sharing stories about how their husbands proposed, her story would beat them all…

THE END

\ And sadly this comes to an end. It was fun guys, I hope you'll review for old time's sake and support my other stories (if and when I post again) as well as you did this one! Ladies and gentleman, Supreme-Empress has left the building! //