Disclaimer: Characters, settings, rules of magic, etc. aren't mine, but what I wrote about them is.

Author's Note: I wrote this forever ago and for some reason I never posted it. Just a short little ditty that may or may not be construed as Lupin/Tonks, but nonetheless involves both characters in a rather entertaining situation.

That Time of the Month

Remus Lupin rubbed at his aching head as he tried opening the door to Number 12, Grimmauld Place one late April night. It had been bothering him for almost the entire day, one of the many unwelcome side effects that served to remind him monthly of his lycanthropy and upcoming transformation. The full moon wasn't due for three more days, but already he was showing signs that were interfering with his work and making him downright irritable.

So when he opened the door a bit too loudly, and awoke the portrait of Mrs. Black that stood sentinel over the entryway, he blamed it on the headache.

"Half-breed scum!" the portrait yelled. "Filthy, unworthy wretch! Befouling the noble and most ancient house of—"

"Will you please shut the hell up!" an exasperated woman's voice yelled from the sitting room.

"—disgusting presence! Where is my good-for-nothing son! I'll give him a talking to he won't forget, letting filthy werewolves and—"

"I said, shut the hell up!" This yell came with such force that, for a moment, the portrait actually stopped its diatribe long enough for Lupin to forcefully pull the curtains back across it and affix them there firmly. About a month ago someone had come up with the bright idea of putting a silencing charm on the curtains, since no spells would affect the painting itself. This was all well and good most of the time, but once disturbed Mrs. Black had a habit of making them jerk back so that all could hear her deranged screams.

Lupin turned to find Tonks standing at the entrance to the hallway, looking decidedly furious. The effect was not helped by the fact that she was wearing pajamas with little rubber ducks on them, but Lupin knew better than to underestimate the wrath of a Black relative, painted or otherwise. "Hello, Nymphadora," he said cordially, hanging his coat on a peg by the door.

"I've told you, Remus, that it's Tonks," she replied, sounding more irritated than usual.

"Of course, Tonks," Lupin said, rubbing again at his head. "Is anyone else here?"

"No, I thought I'd be alone. I was doing some work, stayed late…didn't want to head back home since I'm supposed to be here in the morning anyway, so I thought I'd stay." She said this all in a voice that sounded weary, but the annoyance was still there. "I'll be in the sitting room." And she left, before Lupin could even comment on the pajamas.

His head gave another sharp twang, and Lupin was reminded of why he'd stopped by here in the first place: pain medicine. He'd learned long ago that regular muggle drugs couldn't take the edge off of his lycanthropic symptoms, but he knew that this house was well-stocked with potions that should do just fine. He set his rather shabby briefcase down at the foot of the stairs before heading for the kitchen and the cupboard that would promise him freedom from what had escalated into an almost-migraine.

The potion cabinet was small, and protected by several spells so that no potions could leak out and contaminate the food in nearby cabinets. Lupin almost smiled as he opened it—relief was at hand.

He looked over the potions, searching for the distinctive lime green of the Pain-Relief Potion that he'd found worked best on his symptoms To his great dismay, there appeared to be none present!

"Tonks," he said, walking into the sitting room. "Do you know where they keep—" But he was stopped short by the scene that greeted him upon his entry. A wireless was playing Weird Sisters in the background. Tonks was there, but she was lying down on one of the sofas, her eyes closed and a miserable look on her face. Clutched in one hand was a bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate, and in the other—why, that was the unmistakable green of the Pain-Relief Potion Lupin had been searching for.

"Remus, I'm sorry if this sounds mean," she mumbled, her eyes still closed, "but could you do me a favor? Shut up and leave me alone."

Understanding dawned on Lupin. "So it's that time of the month." Mentally, he was already calculating how much potion was left in the bottle she held—it looked like just enough for one good dose. Now if only he could get his hands on it…

Tonks replied with a sinister groan. "Where's a damn heating pad when you need one?"

Lupin, feeling that this was a rhetorical question, did not answer. Instead, he said softly, "I'm sorry. I'm not at my best now either. Full moon in three days."

"Nngh" was Tonks's reply.

"I've got a terrible headache."

"So do I." She took another bite of the chocolate, and Lupin decided he wouldn't be disappointed if he came away with some of that, as well.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked, trying to sound polite but inching closer to the sofa.

"Go away," she said, shifting her position on the couch. Her back was now to him, potion and chocolate hidden protectively by the curl of her body. So, she'd caught on to his plan. Damn.

Might as well give away his intent. "Do you know where they keep the extra Pain-Relief Potion?" Lupin asked. "There wasn't any in the cupboard."

"I've got the last bottle," Tonks said.

"I thought so."

"You're not getting any."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." Lupin stood over her, looking down from what he thought was a menacing height.

"Ooh, I'm scared now," Tonks said sarcastically, her eyes still closed.

Lupin, feeling slightly miffed, said, "It's not smart to cross a werewolf just days before the full moon."

"It's not smart to cross a Black when she's on her period," Tonks replied, rolling over and actually opening her eyes to look at him. Then, keeping that eye contact, she uncorked the potion bottle and unceremoniously gulped the last of the medicine as Lupin looked on in disbelief.

He was still staring at her when she corked the bottle and set it down on the ground before closing her eyes and nestling into the couch. "Much better," she mumbled. "I was due for my next dose anyway."

She went to take another bite of the chocolate, but Lupin was too quick for her and snatched it out of her hand.

"No fair!" she moaned. "That was my last piece!"

"And that was the last potion," Lupin said. He took a bite of the chocolate, savoring the taste that, for a moment, made him forget about the splitting pain in his head. "Now we're even."

As he walked out of the room, his last thought was that even when she was stealing his Pain-Relief Potion and yelling at him irritably, in those duck pajamas Nymphadora Tonks was rather cute.

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