The final chapter... I hope it doesn't disappoint. Thank you for the support and feedback, and special mention to vi riddle for sticking with this story since chapter 1!

Chapter 6 - The most magic place...

She looked around at the variety of trees. It was just like he had described it. Well, no: it was a thousand times more beautiful than that, and there was something about the enchanting place that simply couldn't be described. Walking in measured steps on the graveled path, Lily advanced until she saw the bench she had known she would find all along. It felt as if her entire life had led her to this place, as if every moment she had lived was only meant to bring her here.

Severus was seated with his back to her, lost in thought, shivering slightly when the breeze froze his fingers every time he took his hands out of the pockets of his cloak. Had he grown? He hadn't changed much, but he might be a little taller. His hair was tousled in his face, ruffled by the breeze, but he hadn't bothered to disentangle it. In fact, he didn't seem to be bothered by anything any more. He seemed so frail, shivering in the cold morning air, that it looked as though a slight touch would break him.

How long had he been waiting? It tore Lily's heart to see him so hopeless; he simply sat there, his skin exposed to the cold, both so weak and so extraordinarily enduring.

When she finally reached the bench, she sat beside him. Although she kept a reasonable distance between them, she couldn't help but notice how thin he had indeed become. She felt like saying something along the lines of "I knew I'd find you here," but it seemed unneeded, somehow.

"The leaves fall," Severus finally began. "They always do in fall, and then they remain on the ground and die."

Lily tried not to move, not to give a sign of the tumult that was going on inside of her as he spoke, but she had never been able to remain as impassive as him. Upon coming here, she had thought she knew how much it was going to hurt to see him again, but nothing had prepared her for the shock of seeing him so disturbed, so... shattered, in a way. Even his voice was raw, as if he had not spoken to anyone in a very long time.

"But the trees−" he went on, lowering his voice as though he was about to tell her a secret, "The trees are eternal. They're always here whatever happens."

She believed him− but wished, in that moment, never to have become accustomed to Severus's metaphors. She understood too well the image, of two people still being alive but of something having died between them.

"But these leaves," she said, "Once they're on the ground… they never come back alive."

He swallowed. "New ones grow."

She shook her head, ever so sadly. "Why did you want to see me, Severus? To try and persuade me not to marry James? To complain about the way you're being treated as Voldemort's devoted servant?" She hesitated before adding, "To apologize?"

Not looking at her he said slowly, "Marlene McKinnon. Dorcas Meadows."

Lily became very still. They were both members of the Order of the Phoenix.

He went on, staring ahead so intently it seemed he was trying to see past the trees. "Benjy Fenwick. Gideon Prewett. Fabian Prewett. Edgar Bones."

Every name was like a chopping knife that cut through Lily's flesh. "What about them?" she tried to sound detached, as though she hadn't a clue as to what made them part of the same list.

"I know for a fact that they're in the Order of the Phoenix."

She let out a breath, her mouth slightly open in panic. "And how would you know that?" Marlene McKinnon wasn't the problem; it was no secret her family had been against Voldemort for years. It was the same thing for the Meadows. But Benjy and Edgar, and the Prewetts… they had just joined in a couple of days before, and God, this was a secret.

Shutting her eyes, she tried to stay composed. Maybe she was overreacting... "Severus, how do you−" she began again, but then the truth dawned on her.

"I don't believe you," she said, and her voice rose slightly. No. This wasn't true, it wasn't true. Snape was lying, he had to be. "Of course not," she said forcefully, "There's no traitor in the Order."

Still, he didn't turn to look at her. She knew he'd never answer; he wouldn't cross that line and become a traitor himself.

"Who?" she asked, speaking with a calmness she was far from experiencing inside.

"I don't know."

She had no doubt he was telling the truth. Anyone else could have suspected a lie, but not her. She knew Severus Snape in a way few did.

"You came to warn me?"

He seemed to be uncertain for the first time. Lily wished he would meet her gaze instead of looking in the distance, but respected his wish to avoid eye-contact while they discussed this crucial matter.

"I wanted you to know the danger."

She nodded, thinking it was the closest he would come to acknowledging that he wanted to protect her, and that she still mattered to him. She was wrong.

"I also came to tell you−" he took a breath and turned to her at last, making Lily's heart skip a beat. "I wanted to tell you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

She felt a tear roll down her cheek, but made no move to dry it. It was heart-wrenching to see Severus almost begging her for something she could no longer give him, to see this man so cold and despised from the outside opening his heart to her without even trying to hide his anguish. Severus was here with her, the one she had always wanted. To have him within her reach was excruciating, because one word from her and they would be together again.

One word from her and she would never forgive herself.

"You represent everything that I've ever hated," Lily said in a strangled voice. She wanted to add, And everything I've ever loved. "The Dark Arts, violence, murders… You should be about to kill me now, because your world is only... Cruelty."

She looked down at his shaking hands, so close to hers now. She bit her lip, resisting the urge to touch his soft fingers… not cruel, only warm.

And then despite herself she asked, in a sharp murmur that cut through the wind, "How many have you killed, Severus?"

His face had been so pale already; she didn't think he could blench more. It was as though the color was being drained from his cheeks.

When he didn't reply, Lily knew she had her answer. "The day I joined the Order of the Phoenix, I made the vow all the members make," she said. He clenched his jaw and she averted her eyes, knowing that if she looked at him again she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears. "In that vow, I agreed to dedicate my life to the Order of the Phoenix, and I pledged to do my best to get rid of everyone who had sworn allegiance to Voldemort. Everyone who had the Dark Mark on his forearm." She paused. "Everyone like you."

"And you don't regret it."

He didn't make it a question, but she answered anyway. "There is one thing I do regret."

"Really? And what might that be?"

The sarcasm in his voice was impossible to make. "I wish you'd been there with me. If I had to do it again, I would, but I would have you at my side. And I would make that vow knowing I wouldn't have to become your enemy. God, you could have been great."

"But I'm not." He spoke with a bitterness she had never heard.

Why couldn't he have said that to her before; why hadn't he regretted the path he had chosen before today? A couple of years earlier, she knew, would have changed so many things…

A cloud passed over for the barest of instants, their surroundings darkening.

"So what happens now?"

Lily looked up at him implacably, trying to ignore how it felt to simply be here with him seated on the same bench. She craved to go back to him, to experience again the moments they had once shared together, but… too many things had changed.

"I'm going to go home with James," she replied quietly. He winced at her words, as if the mention of James in her mouth was inflicting him a terrible pain. "I'm going to get up and say good-bye. Then you're going to put on that black hood of yours. And one day−" she said in a choked voice, "One day we'll end up taking out our wands and bowing before eventually one of us ends up killing the other."

"I'd never kill you," Severus said in an equally desperate tone. "Lil, you know I couldn't hurt you."

She tensed as he spoke the nickname he had used, once upon a happier time. It came naturally to him, and she loved it when he spoke to her like that. God, how much she would have given to go back to the times when they could lie on the grass together… what she would she have given to be close to him again, to be able to embrace him tenderly. One last embrace…

"Maybe it won't be intentional… But you might not be given the choice." There was a long silence again, and then she declared, "I should go. This isn't−" she cast around for the best way to put it, then opted for: "This isn't a good idea, Severus."

His fingers trembled as she spoke his name. "What isn't a good idea?"

"You know what I mean… You… Me… everything."

"So why are you here?"

Was it a question meant to be answered?

Lily was painfully aware of his presence at her side, and it was agonizing to be sitting so close to him… it seemed as if all rational thought was escaping her, inexorably, no matter what amount of efforts she put into trying to stop it.

This was the life she longed for, all, within her reach; and she no longer knew why she was holding back. Past and present were slowly melting, leaving her with an indefinite sensation of uncertainty. It wasn't that she wanted anything from him; she just wanted him , with a longing she didn't known was still there until this moment.

"You're−" the words caught in her throat. She would always love him, she was now sure of it. It seemed unfair to leave him uncertain of it, because he deserved to know. He deserved more than what he had; he deserved more than just a silent good-bye. "You're also the best thing that ever happened to me."

He reached tentatively for her hand, brushing one of his thumbs, softly, over her wrist.

She didn't know who moved first after that, but the distance between them was suddenly crossed and she found herself wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he did the same around hers.

"Don't−" she said weakly, but the words died in her throat as he brought his face to hers and kissed her.

She didn't pull away. For the first time in years she was whole again, as if she had lived all these weeks and months with a part of her soul missing. She kissed him back, their fingers entwined, holding him as if he were a lifeline. She could almost feel their minds clicking in place, the emptiness inside her being filled.

Finally she found the strength to turn away, and to stand up. Her own hands were freezing now because of the bitter wind. She watched as a bird flew toward a cherry tree, landed on a bough and then took flight again, as light as the current of air that was carrying it away.

Lily forced herself to look at Severus. He returned her glance mutely, and it felt like the world underneath her was falling to pieces. She would never forget his eyes, haunted, craving and so heartrendingly desperate. If she had some decency left there was only one thing she could do, for his sake and hers.

The idea that she might never see him again was horrible, sickening. Yet what was she supposed to say? That it was unbearable? That she'd never be able to forget, even for one second, what it was like to be with him, and that the ghost of their love would keep haunting her for the rest of her life? It was unnecessary: he already knew that, and so did she.

"Goodbye, Severus," Lily made herself mutter in a soft whisper.

No one called her back but the plaintive moan of the trees weeping with her; nothing moved except a few leaves that fell to the ground at her feet, twirling before they lay still.

The wind howled in her ears as Lily walked away from the most magic place in the world.

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The end.
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