A/N: This didn't turn out exactly the way I had planned, but whatever. I have Derek and Casey graduating from high school in 2008, because I've seen that date used in a couple of other fics, so I figured it was accurate enough. I also have their prom taking place in early May; I can't remember what day my prom fell on, so I made one up. The flashbacks are in italics.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek.

OOOOOOOOO

At age thirty-nine, Derek Venturi's life was more perfect than it had ever been. He may not have been the king of his high school anymore, but he still ruled over all he encountered. He had the perfect job, he had just made partner at his law firm, he had the perfect wife, who in her late thirties was still as pretty as the day he had met her, and he had the perfect child, an eight year old son, who had inherited the best personality traits from both of his parents. Unlike most of his friends, Derek was genuinely happy; at least he was three hundred sixty-four days out of the year.

There was one day that always hunted him. One day that always had him running his family out of the house. One day that always had him opening a bottle of Grey Goose, putting their song on repeat, and parking himself on the couch. One day that always had him remembering what he had lost all those years ago, because he had been too afraid.

Prom night of his senior year, a day he would never forget, because he forced himself to remember, every May 2, of every year. Derek figured that if he never let himself forget what he had lost, and how much it had hurt to lose it, he would never make the same mistake again.

So here it was, May 2, 2028, and Derek was at it again.

Walking into Casey's bedroom, Derek could only sigh in appreciation as he took in how different she looked all dressed up for prom.

He wasn't much for giving compliments, but he felt the urge to tell her how nice she looked. "Casey, you look beautiful."

"Thanks," she responded, as she continued applying her makeup.

Either ignoring, or not noticing, the coldness in her voice, Derek walked up behind Casey and began to rub her bare shoulders. "So, I figured that we can dance a few of the slower songs together," he began smiling, "fast dancing is out of the question, but if we stand a good distance apart nobody can find fault with us slow dancing. If anybody asks, we'll just say that our parents made us promise to dance together, or something."

"That's cool," she said, shrugging out of his hold. "Sam's taking me to prom, so you don't have to trouble yourself by saving me a 'few' dances."

Derek stumbled back in surprise. "What?" he said, spinning her around to face him. "I thought we decided to go stag so we could hang out together."

Casey's eyes widened and she seemed to snap.

"No," she began, wringing her hands together in agitation, "you decided we'd go stag, remember? I wanted to go with my boyfriend." Her voice was steadily rising as she spoke. "You remember my boyfriend, right? He's about your height, your weight, in fact you two could be twins you look so much alike."

Derek's eyes darted into the hallway, before he kicked her door shut and locked it. "You need to calm down," he said sternly. "You're being ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous?" she question incredulously. "My boyfriend of two years openly dates other girls, and I'm being 'ridiculous'? He encourages me to string along his best friend, giving him hope that we may get back together one day, and I'm being 'ridiculous'? Right," she said sarcastically.

"You know why we can't go to prom together," Derek said, frustration clearly evident in his voice. "We'd get laughed out the school. You think klutzilla was bad, it's nothing compared to what people would call us if they knew we were dating."

Casey laughed bitterly, while silent tears fell from her eyes. "We're not dating. Dating would require you taking me out in public, something you've never done."

"Damnit Casey," he said roughly, resisting the urge to rub his hands through his heavily gelled hair. "Why are you doing this tonight, of all nights? Why deliberately pick a fight with me on the night of our senior prom?"

"I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. In fact," she said, sighing, "I want to put an end to the fights—the same arguments we've been having for the past few months."

"What do you mean?" he asked, worried that he already knew the answer.

Reaching behind her neck she unclasped the chain she was wearing. Slipping from the chain, the promise ring that had lain hidden under her dress; she held it out to him, trying hard to ignore his pained expression.

"Here," she said with feigned calmness.

"What are you doing Casey?" He was too upset to be embarrassed by the way his voice held a note of desperation. "We've talked about this, that ring is just a place holder, something to save the spot of the engagement ring I'll get you one day." He backed away from her hand as if the thought of touching the ring disgusted him. "You promised" he said, determined not to let his own tears fall. "You promised to stay with me forever; we had plans for the future."

"What future?" To emphasize her point she threw the ring across the room. "How in the hell were we going to get married when you can't even bring yourself to tell anyone we're together? I am not going to live my life with someone who is ashamed to be with me, ashamed to tell anyone he loves me; that really would be ridiculous."

Derek was clutching his heart as if he was in physical pain and Casey was trying to reign in her emotions, when they heard Nora yell up the stairs, "Sam's here, Casey."

Turning away from Derek, she began wiping at her eyes, trying to bring herself back to rights. When she headed for the door, Derek was on her heels instantly. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he carried her away from the door.

"Let me go, now!"

"No," he replied simply. "Never."

"You don't have a choice," Casey said hotly, swinging her arms and legs around wildly, trying to get herself released.

"The way I see it," Derek said through clenched teeth, having just had his shin impaled by her stiletto heel, "I do have a choice; it takes two to break up."

"You broke up with me a long time ago, I just made it official," she stated, matter-of-factly.

That got her released. Derek had no idea she felt that way. Sure, he knew she wanted to go public, and he knew she got frustrated with him sometimes, but this belief she seemed to have, that he didn't really want her, was unfathomable to him.

"I love you," he said, as loud as he dared. "Why can't you understand that? Why can't me saying it be enough?"

"Derek, I know that you think you love me, but saying the words isn't enough; you have to be willing to show me, you have to be willing to show the world."

"I want to," he said earnestly. "But, what about our parents, our friends, our teachers? What about the world, Casey? It's not me, it's society; I didn't make the rules."

"Our parents love us, they'll understand," she spoke with a sureness she didn't really posses.

"But what if they don't?"

"Then so what," she snapped, upset with the way he feared the censure of society. "They'll have to accept us eventually, and to hell with everyone else. We only have a few weeks left at that school; we won't ever have to see any of them again if we don't want to. So who cares what they think?"

"I do," he answered quietly. Grabbing her shoulders, he looked down into her eyes, willing her to understand. "I'm Derek Venturi. I'm the captain of the hockey team, I was the homecoming king, I was king of the spring dance, girls love me, and even the guys who hate me want to be me. I have never not been popular—never not been surrounded by a crowd of people who love me. You're asking me to possibly give that up. I love you . . ."

"But, you don't know if you love me enough for that," she finished for him. "That's okay," she said hollowly, slipping out of his grasp. "I kinda already knew, I guess I was just hoping that I was wrong."

This time, when Casey walked away, Derek didn't try to stop her. He knew he didn't have the right to try to keep her in his life, she did deserve better. But, knowing that she deserved better didn't stop him from wanting her. Knowing didn't keep his heart from breaking, and it sure as hell didn't prevent his tears from falling.

He could only hope that one day things would be different, and he would be able to be the kind of man she deserved.

Coming out of his memories, the pain he had experienced that night felt so fresh, it was like he was nineteen again. Picking up the now half-empty bottle of vodka, Derek polished it off in one gulp.

As he lay passed out from too much liquor, his dreams were swimming with thoughts of Casey; he saw her smile, he saw her award winning performance from the senior talent show, her laugh was echoing in his mind, he even pictured her screaming his name, just like she used to when they were younger.

"Derek!" Casey yelled out in anger, as she caught sight of her intoxicated husband's form slumped against the couch.

Thank goodness she had left D.J. with her mom and George. This was the worst she had ever seen Derek, last year he had completely trashed his den, but at least he had been sober then.

She dropped her purse and the groceries by the door, before stomping over to the couch.

Kneeling beside him, Casey contemplated hitting him with his empty bottle, but settled for using her hand.

"Derek, wake up." Grabbing him by the shoulders, she shook him forcefully. "Come on Derek, get up."

She was about to get a cup of ice water to pour on him, when she felt him stir.

"Casey," he mumbled, "you came back."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I came back, I live here."

"Please don't leave me again," he begged, turning and wrapping his arms around her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Casey pushed him away, he never was a happy drunk, and she had had about all of this she was going to take.

Standing up, she began to pace the length of the living room.

"You have got to stop freaking out like this," she said, frustrated with the situation. "We haven't been apart since the reunion, and I'm not about to leave you now, so, please, stop. I'm sick of going through this every year."

Derek looked down at his feet. "I know, but—

"No buts," she interrupted, holding up a hand. "Just stop it."

Running a hand through her hair, Casey sighed, before heading for the stairs.

"Casey," Derek called out.

"What?"

"I love you."

Looking back at her husband, Casey sighed again. Yes, May 2, 2008, had been one of the worst days of her life. And, yes, Derek still hurt her, although it was in a different way, every second day of May that had followed their reconciliation.

But, she figured, one out of three hundred sixty-five wasn't bad.

"I love you too, Derek."

The End

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