Author's notes: this is mostly ranting, romantic with extremely vague humor.

Words

Authoress: Cattsy (Catness)

Length: About 992 words.

Silence…

No-one spoke. Kaoru and I sat quietly. We often spent our time sitting in peace- listening and observing our surroundings. Occasionally one of us would murmur a sentence or two, to voice what we were feeling. We enjoy being like this. It feels strangely serene. It completes the bond between us to know that we can say nothing and know exactly what the other is thinking.

We sat on a moderately warm floor. He was turned towards the window, staring out towards the ocean. I was seated next to him, staring in moderately the same direction.

I held Kaoru's hand, rubbing it. Or perhaps he held mine… Either way, I don't want to let go. It's a nice feeling. He has nice skin, nice slender fingers with perfectly manicured nails. I looked at him and studied his features. I never noticed before, but I found my twin quite handsome. I stared at his ginger hair and golden eyes, I'm very intrigued.

Interesting…

I turn around slightly, to look where Kaoru as looking. It is a magnificent view. The sun set looked amazing, setting over an orange sea from the second story of our Australian beach house. I turned my head at an angle to look at Kaoru. He was illuminated in a golden glow. He turned slightly to look at me. Our eyes met and I felt very awkward. I know that he feels uncomfortable too. For the moment, I can't move, I can't speak and I don't know what to do. I was about to shoot him an embarrassed smile before the door opened and our mother walked in.

"There you boys are…" She smiled and we stood to greet her.

"Mother," we said in unison, "how was your day?"

Care…

Kaoru and I hugged her and each gave her a kiss on the cheek. We all sat down on the nearby sofa, a son on each side. Kaoru and I smiled gently. Kaoru and I had always been very close to our mother. While sometimes, she wasn't there, she had taken a big interest in our lives and tried to spend time with us as much as possible. We had never played the 'Which one is Hikaru-kun game' with her, but we were pretty sure that she knew which was which.

Our Mother smiled and looked at us, one after the other. Her smile was warm, caring. Kaoru and I smiled back in unison; we were very interested in our mother's work. Sometimes we helped her design her cloths and other times we watched her sketch. We enjoyed studying her and watching what she did. Kaoru and I had often discussed following in her footsteps. We didn't have any reason not to, so we decided to let her teach us as much as possible. We were both amused to find that she believed that we were only interested to watch girls in skimpy cloths (or lack thereof).

Misunderstanding…

Our mother stood up, several hours later and went to prepare dinner.

Kaoru snickered. "You'd think that with several chefs, maids and other staff, she wouldn't have to worry about trivial things like dinner."

I chuckled quietly and caught his eye. We stared at each other for a few moments before leaning forward slowly. Kaoru closed his eyes first. It was almost mystical. I leaned closer, closed my eyes. Before I knew it, our lips touched. It was gentle, innocent…

Loving…

We stayed like this for what seemed like an eternity. I felt an amazing feeling in my heart, like it was meant to happen. My mind was racing, I was really enjoying this, yet I knew that I should pull back and see how Kaoru felt.

I pulled back slowly and opened my eyes. I looked at Kaoru, hoping to catch his eye and perhaps to glimpse into his soul. His eyes were still closed. He looked frozen, like he didn't want to do anything in case it spoiled the moment. He opened his eyes slowly and we studied each other for a while, trying to comprehend what we'd done.

Ache…

I can't help but wonder… Did I do something wrong? I'm pretty sure that we both knew what we were doing. I'm pretty sure that we had both been aiming for a kiss. I somehow feel that I violated Kaoru- like I did something to cross an imaginary boundary where we weren't allowed to do some things- as brothers... I'm not sure why, but I feel as if the world is about to crumble at my feet. I'm not sure, but I have a bad feeling that Kaoru is going to decide to walk out and I'll be left here. Kaoru and I rarely spend time apart. We've only ever spent a few hours apart at a time. Sometimes I felt that he wanted to be alone, I couldn't bear that. For a long time, I've felt that he wanted to be away, just leave. Will this give him an excuse?

Loneliness…

I wonder what he's thinking. If I trust my instinct, he's thinking about what I did. I bet he's wondering what to do now. I don't know. I don't think he knows either. I need to do something, though. I need to say something, do something. Even though Kaoru and I often sat and had silent conversations, I find this deeply uncomfortable. It's like the staring competitions we used to have. Neither of us won, we just got bored every time and decided on draws. I snickered aloud. I just wish we could go back to those days. I closed my eyes and turned away. Kaoru is the twin with more common sense; I trust he'll know what to do. I looked up again and smiled gently.

Anticipation…

Kaoru laughed.

"You lose," he commented with joy.

"What…?" I said, confounded.

"The staring contest…" Kaoru smiled, contently, "I was thinking that I was losing, but I won."

Confusion…?

The End (For now…)

Mmm, considering writing more… bit busy with school at the moment and my computer is dead, so it might not be any time soon.

Cattsy…