On the Ways of Your Desire
Chapter One: I'm Just Living In My Head
Author's Note: I borrowed the word caramel from "Round the Mulberry Bush" by backwardfruit. It was the only word that worked. The story title and this chapter's title are from lines in the Smashing Pumpkins song The Everlasting Gaze. I don't own it or American Dragon, if I did I wouldn't be such a poor college student.
The hues of his
skin, two shades of perfection. One soft caramel, the other brilliant
fire. I think of him and I'm almost there, like an idea or feeling
you get so close to reaching, but never succeed in achieving. That
blue-black of his hair entices me. I'll never understand why he added
green, but I'm enchanted nonetheless. He is red, his is fire, he is
my dragon. Correction: He is my dragon only in my dreams. Wet, hot,
sticky, lustful and climactic fantasies that refuse to give me a
moments rest. If only I could dream forever.
--Posted to the
online journal of Spud, 6:18 am. Marked: Private
What if dreams do
exist, in the afterlife. If there is such a thing.
--Posted to the
online journal of Spud, 3:39 am. Marked: Friends
Perhaps it is not a
deranged delusion on my part. Things could get better.
--Posted to the
online journal of Spud, 9:55 pm. Marked: Public
Trixie slouched in the computer lab, listening to a lecture on how to find books through the university library's website. Already bored to tears five minutes into the class, she was attempting to portray the attentive student image while surfing the internet. Looking around it was easy to tell that she was not alone in her quest. She decided to go check out Spud's blog and see what he was up to. With classes and everything going on at the start of their freshman year, Trixie hadn't seen much of Spud. On the other hand, Trixie had been seeing more of Jake since he was finally beginning to cope with Rose's betrayal. Jake had even started leaving the house for something other than dragon training or school. Trixie was proud of him, picking up like that. 'Jake tends to dwell on negative things forever. The boy always needed a sense of perspective, hey, life goes on.' Trixie sighs, loudly and wistfully, getting glances from those around her. 'While one boy gets back on track, the other is deliberately zig-zagging around it. Fidgety little bastard.'
She hated thinking such thoughts but it was true, if only Spud showed the person he really was to his friends then perhaps... things could get better. She read the last line of Spud's latest post over again.
-
Things could get better.
-
Something clicked in Trixie's mind. This was the latest in a series of vague, unsettling posts by Spud. 'What's going on with him? You'd think he'd be happy, moving to a dorm far away from his demanding father, but no! Instead he goes all angsty-depressed-poet boy on us. This was worse than the one man band phase. Problem is,' Trixie realized with a sudden jolt, 'it doesn't feel like a phase.'
"Hey Jake!"
"Oh, hey, what's up?"
"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you..."
"Can it wait? I've got a quiz today that I haven't even pretended to study for. AmDrag business n' all." Jake started to walk off towards the library. 'The library,' Trixie wondered, 'some things do change, but this is too important to blow off.'
"No Jake, it can't wait. I'm worried about Spud."
"What now? He's just going through a phase and you know it."
"Fine, whatever, don't listen to me. Go study for your stupid test!" Trixie stormed off, once again getting noticed for her loud temper.