Disclaimer: Nope don't own Grey's... still.

A/N: This is going to be kind of a quickie story (10 chapters give or take). I can't get this out of my head so I went ahead and started it. It takes place after the episode Wishin and Hopin (Meredith's lucid mom) and kind of starts like Walk on Water but then it strays from there. It's a completely different angle then what Grey's is taking on the "depressed" Meredith deal. You'll probably have to wait a few chapters to understand that though. I LOVE Grey's (Even though they put our Meredith in the water and she has to stay there for a whole week before we know what's going to happen!) But this will hopefully keep us entertained untill we know Meredith's fate.

And don't worry. The sequel to "Out of the Darkness" is still coming. I'll probably be posting the first chapter to that (still untitled!) sometime this week. I'll just be busy doing two stories for a while, but like I said, this one isn't very long. Okay enough. I'll start. Please review so I know if I should even bother with this or not.

Is it enough? Is it enough?

Is it enough to love?

Is it enough to breath?

Somebody rip my heart out

And leave me here to bleed

Is it enough to die?

Somebody save my life

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please!

Is it enough?

Is it enough to die?

Somebody save my life

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please!

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please!

(Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne)

The cold of the hard, white porcelain tub pressed against Meredith's bare back, a stark contrast to the scalding liquid of the bath water that protected the rest of her body. She became mesmerized by the misty steam that slowly rose from the water and mingled in the cool bathroom air, disappearing as fast as it had appeared. Meredith lowered her body further into the tub. Her skin was red from the heat of the water, and beads of sweat appeared on her brow, but she paid no attention. Her mother's harsh, mocking voice rang in her head and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the cruel, painful words out. Meredith didn't stop when the steaming water hit her chin. She gradually lowered herself down, letting the water pass over her mouth and nose, then her eyes. She felt some of her tension escape as the liquid swallowed her completely. She stayed in her quiet, peaceful serenity, letting the world outside the water disappear. But even in her tranquility, her mother's voice broke through, shattering the calmness that she desperately sought.

"What happened to you? You've gone soft! Stammering about a boyfriend, and saying that you're waiting to be inspired. You're waiting for inspiration? Are you kidding me?! I have a disease for which there is no cure; I think that would be inspiration enough! Listen to me, Meredith. Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy! But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after 5 years and discover that you are no more than ordinary! What happened to you?!"

Tears seeped out of Meredith's closed eyes and instantly became part of the bath water. She slowly shook her head under the water, willing the rest of what she knew was coming, to stop. She didn't recognize her own voice in her head. The pained, trembling words that she had spat at her sick mother.

"You wanna know why I'm so unfocused? So ordinary? You wanna know what happened to me? You! You happened to me."

All the anguish she was trying to forget washed over her in waves of grief and regret. The burning water suddenly turned cold and ran chills up and down her naked body.

"The reason that I want you to have the surgery is because I have this hope, that in a year, two years or five, they're gonna have a breakthrough. They're gonna find a cure for Alzheimer's, and you and I will have another chance. To get to know each other. You'll get a chance to know me, to see that I am not even remotely ordinary, so I wish you would have the surgery. But it's up to you Mom, it's your life."

And as quickly as the so called gift had come, it was gone. Her mother's lucidness vanishing into the dark confusion Meredith had forlornly became accustomed to.

Meredith wanted to cry and shake and scream, but found she was out of tears and knew in order to scream she would have to resurface and leave her private solitude. No. She wouldn't resurface. Maybe never. Maybe if she stayed down, under the clear safe liquid, she could forget the pain. Maybe if she stayed down long enough, she could hide from the world, hide from her mother's words.

But mostly, she thought, if she stayed under long enough, maybe she could hide from the scariest of it all: The feeling that her mom was right. She wasn't anything special, she was ordinary.

A muffled voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she tried to focus on where it was coming from. Before she was able to completely come to her senses, two strong hands grabbed her arms and jerked her up. She gasped for breath and rapidly blinked her eyes as the frigid bathroom air spread across her bare torso.

"Meredith! What are you doing?"

Derek's concerned face slowly came into focus as he stared down at her with worried blue eyes.

Meredith chose to ignore his question, knowing that any explanation would only bring further inquiry. She had chosen not to share with Derek the details of her and her mother's conversation, and had told him she was fine when he repeatedly questioned her the night before. After leaving her mother's room she had headed straight for Joe's and had tried in vain to drown her pain in tequila, something that usually worked. But last night it hadn't. Fifteen shots later, her agony was still present. The only difference was now her head was buzzing.

When Derek had walked in a while later, she found new anger and resentment surfacing. He had unexplainably snapped at her again, in a moment when she had really needed him. He had told her he'd been looking everywhere for her and had been worried sick.

Catching on quickly that she was ignoring him, and that she was apparently very angry, Derek had then tried to apologize profusely.

She couldn't remember all of his excuses. In her drunken haze she had tuned out most of what he said, only catching that he had been stressed with the toxic patient and hadn't wanted her to be in danger. She hadn't bought it of course. She knew her mom had gotten to him. Even though Derek had promised he wouldn't let her, Ellis Grey had a way of getting to everybody.

Meredith couldn't remember how she had gotten home after that. Derek probably had to carry her to his car and then upstairs to her bed. The next thing she remembered was opening her eyes and him leaning over her with Aspirin and water. And then of course he had wanted to talk. He wanted her to tell him what was wrong. What had her mother said?

But Meredith pushed him away. She had become a little scared. A little worried that if he heard her mother had called her ordinary, he might realize that her mother was right. He might begin to think that he wanted to be with someone who was far from ordinary, and then he'd leave her. And Meredith really couldn't take that.

So she pushed him further away in an attempt that he'd never discover her ugly truth.

"Meredith talk to me. What's going on?" Derek pleaded as he watched her rise from the water and grab a clean red towel that sat on a shelf to the side of the tub. She wrapped it around her dripping body and stepped out, walking carefully across the tile floor so she wouldn't slip.

"I was taking a bath." She hoped he would accept it as her answer but knew better.

"That's not a bath. I know what a bath looks like." He kept his eyes on her as she crossed the room to her dresser and pulled out her black bra and panties.

"Drop it." She carefully kept the towel wrapped around her body as she stepped into her lacey underwear and pulled them up, the black silk disappearing under the towel.

"Look, your mother…" Derek tried again.

"Drop it!" She gave him a dirty look and turned her back to him. She let the towel fall to the floor and skillfully snapped her bra and adjusted it into place.

Derek sighed frustrated. Meredith didn't usually act like this. Something must have happened yesterday that she wasn't telling him and it was tearing him up inside. He crossed the room and softly touched her, turning her around to face him.

"Look, your mother was lucid yesterday and I know something must have happened. Just tell me what's wrong." He kept his hands on her shoulders and tried to get her to open up.

"I'm fine, my mother is fine. She was lucid and now she's not. Everything is fine." Meredith stared at the ceiling, the wall, and then a picture of her old dog Doc that sat on her dresser. She did her best to look anywhere but at Derek.

"You don't seem fine Mer. Maybe I can talk to the Chief for you. He'll understand, and give you the day off…"

"No! I don't need the day off. Just stop! I do not need rescuing."

"You would have drowned in the bathtub had I not been there." Derek helpfully pointed out.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I'm a surgeon, I do the rescuing. You are not my knight in shining…whatever."

Derek tilted his head and looked at her amused. "So we're going to fight because I pulled you out of the tub?"

"You have a place. You could sleep at it. And then you wouldn't have to pull me out of the bathtub. You're everywhere all the time, saying things."

Derek gently tilted Meredith's face so she was finally looking at him. "This is the happy ever after part. And in the happily ever after, the guy is there… all the time… saying things, and the girls love it!"

Meredith couldn't help hide her smile. Why was he being so kind? How could he love such an ordinary girl like herself? "Go to work and let me get dressed. I'll see you there."

Meredith reached on her tip toes and gave him a quick kiss on his mouth.

Derek felt a little relief that she was softening back up to him. "And just for the record. I am your knight in shining whatever."

He chuckled and leaned down and kissed her hard, pulling her body that was barely covered in black underwear against his fully clothed one. He reluctantly released her and, without a word, turned and left, leaving Meredith alone with her conflicted thoughts.