This story is now coming to a close. I am so proud that I am finishing something. I would like to thank all who read AND review. In here, there are themes that are not for people who hate angst. Well, you shouldn't be here if you hate angst because this is labelled ANGST ANGST ANGST!

I do not own anything except the plot and Clara, Natasha etc..

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Chapter 9

Sirius was deliriously happy. As blissfully happy as the situation allowed him, which was not the best situation. It was the time of the full moon and Remus had taken leave. Back to his own, empty room and the cellar underneath it that the mean landlady charged double in exchange for keeping quiet. Well, it wasn't before Sirius clung onto him and started vowing that he would do whatever in his power to produce a successful Wolsbane potion.

In all truth, Sirius Black did not care about work or anything else. He wanted to go with Remus and be with him when he transformed but then he saw the shock and horror in Remus's face when he said it.

"I want to go with you," he had said, "It would kill me," he had elaborated as Remus backed away from him, "To have to wait, not knowing what was happening to you at the very moment and that I wasn't there." He had paused, "I hate it when I feel so helpless."

Remus had been so firm though; he had shaken his head calmly and had attempted to smile. "I've done this my whole life, trust me Sirius."

Sirius did. Oh, he did. He trusted that Remus would bear the pain, live the nightmare and keep silent. He knew he would never complain or cry and come to him. That was what he was afraid of.

"Please, at least let me take you there." Sirius had tried but then Remus had started trembling with anger. He had tried to stalk past Sirius but Sirius had grabbed his arm, in confusion and in surprise.

"Remus, I didn't mean to - " he had begun hastily but Remus had hugged him. Or the more accurate picture would be his frame being thrown wildly into Sirius to knock the wind out of him. Sirius did not stagger but nearly fell on the floor as Remus buried his head in Sirius's shoulder.

"Don't make it harder than it is, Sirius." He had whispered, his arms holding on tight. "I don't want to lose someone I love again to myself. Don't ask me to consider that."

Sirius knew that Remus was on the verge of tears. He wanted to tell him that he was free to cry on his shoulder and let go of the pent up emotional wreck inside of him but stayed silent. He was indeed making this harder for Remus and he felt slightly ashamed and he knew too well of Remus's fear. How he had woken up to see that he was his brother's murderer. He did not want to put Remus through that fear again. It was just that…no, Sirius thought decidedly, he would bear with it. Even if it killed him, Remus would be suffering more than him, he always had and he always would so he would bear it. If Remus could, he could.

So Sirius had seen him leave the gigantic oak doors with a small, brave smile on his face. Sirius wanted to cry but instead he laughed. Laughed at how pathetic he was. How he was so powerless but then had retreated to his study to distract himself. In there, he started to unfold the happy memories with Remus one by one, to block out the present. And surprisingly it worked. He was able to smile wistfully to himself as he remembered first seeing Remus, first being intrigued by him, how much he had grown to love him. It had been so fast but so subtle.

Sirius let himself be blissful for one moment before he remembered what this was. A lie. Remus was parading around as his wife under an alias. The unstable situation brought Sirius painfully back to the ground as he remembered how Remus had made it in the Daily Prophet. Someone knew their secret. And worse, were prepared to disclose it. Sirius ground his teeth, what was the extent that they knew? Remus could not deal another shattering blow.

He paced his room once or twice, and then there was that as well. When he had told Remus he had taken care of the Daily Prophet, he remembered him saying the exact thing to him. What did Remus mean? Did Remus know someone that potentially knew of their arrangement? How? And also, more pressingly why? Remus had been sworn to silence. Sirius sat down and started to draw on a scrap of parchment, it was strange but he knew he started to think quietly and was able to focus when he was scratching away.

Before he knew it Sirius was starting to etch a wolf. He elaborated on it, concentrating on its frightening eyes and its rippling muscles. Was this all somehow related to how his business outside the ministry was failing? He had a long way if he was to fulfil that condition to become the top three wealthy wizarding family as all his ventures had already been established by other important figures. Sirius was deep in concentration and with a last flourish had finished the wolf, it's teeth bared in a snarl.

"Sirius," A high voice punctured his deep thoughts and Sirius's head snapped up from his piece of parchment to a woman that did not look any different from what he had been drawing. Clara Henning licked her lips and displayed all her white teeth that were not different from the animal's snarl on the ink-stained parchment.

"Clara!" Sirius exclaimed in surprise, he looked wildly around. "What are you doing here?"

"Banot let me in of course," she answered aloofly, "What else? Honestly Sirius, I broke into your house." She gave a tinkling laugh.

Sirius's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I will not ask again Clara. I have no time for jokes. I am very busy at the moment and in no position to take guests."

Clara looked down Sirius's desk, "Yes, you do appear very busy." She replied sarcastically, "Doodling,"

Sirius crumpled the piece of paper, "I am not going to repeat it." He answered firmly to her banter, "If you have no other business, please leave."

Clara pierced him with her determinedly set eyes, "My, we are into business aren't we? Well, then I guess I can enlighten you." She placed herself daintily on his desk and crossed her legs, "So interested in business but failing in the markets dear Sirius? My, I am surprised."

"What do you mean?" Sirius's interests were suddenly piqued.

"Such a precise man such as yourself with past successes, but continually gradually dwindling in your ventures. Really, now Sirius. You better fire your Mr Breton whom you have entrusted your business to."

"Mr Breton," Sirius repeated, his jaws clenched. He now knew and he felt anger pulsing in his vein, "And I suppose you felt it necessary to inform the Daily Prophet about my personal decisions I took in relation to Mr Breton and myself?"

Clara dropped her sugary tone and suddenly looked fierce, "Your personal decisions? Don't act like you don't know Sirius Black, you knew he was Remus Lupin and you employed him. Why?"

Sirius felt his mouth go dry, he could not tell her…that it was because about his matrimonial complications.

Clara laughed, "It was because he was impersonating your wife. The lovely Marie Saepens had died long ago in infantry. From France wasn't it?" Clara looked lethal as she bore down on Sirius, "How scandalous. The world's renowned bachelor asking a poor, street rat to pose as his wife. What rumours!" she clasped a hand to her mouth, "I wonder what favours he had to preform for you Mr Black. And what are your intentions towards him? What does this elaborate scheme mean to the wizarding population?"

Sirius abruptly stood up but Clara only sneered, "So many rumours. The Daily Prophet would have a field day,"

Without realising, Sirius had drawn his wand. "You will not tell the Daily Prophet anything or anyone for that matter." He said so coldly that the smile on Clara's face momentarily froze.

"Are you threatening me?" she asked, after a pause, her tone taunting.

Sirius realised how ridiculous the situation was, he was powerless once more. He could not threaten Clara Henning. He could do nothing towards her, nothing in his power and she had known when she had pounced. Sirius lowered his wand as Clara watched him carefully, her tone slightly hardening.

"Now before you start defending that werewolf, listen to me." Clara said darkly, advancing on him, "Your failing business, the Black family will…who knows about all this?"

There was a hitch in Sirius's breath as Clara placed a hand on his chest, "It's Remus Lupin. He had been leaking information to Regulus from very early on. They met a few times and Regulus made sure you would fail. But poor Sirius, you never knew did you? That scum had betrayed you."

This was too much for Sirius; he felt a sudden headache as if a tonne of bricks had fallen onto his head. "When?" he rasped, too shocked to utter anything else. He had been with Remus the entire time, when had they been able to communicate? How could this have happened? He had completely and utterly trusted Remus, without meaning to. What a fool, Remus had wanted to ruin him. Maybe it had been his objective all along, to ruin him. He had been blind, not getting anywhere, blinded by Remus and his overtures of love…which had now been proved to be lies. Or not matter at all. Sirius's worlds suddenly turned upside down. He brought a hand to his head, was this all a ploy to get him off track? Because of the will…with Regulus? What was his relationship with Regulus? Betrayal, hurt, shock, jealousy and doubt settled in Sirius's mind as Clara smiled.

"At your father's funeral," Clara murmured.

"How do you know all this?" Sirius asked Clara, eyes narrowed.

"Unlike pitiful Regulus who hires stupid people like your Lupin, I have Severus Snape. A highly capable employee." She gave him a wink, "He did it freely as well, it's costing me nothing."

Sirius suddenly wanted to escape her clutches, he needed to think. What had all this time been? Remus had been purposely trying to pull him down? Did he have ulterior motives? Sirius thought carefully, then he realised. He knew nothing about that man. What he was thinking. Like a blank slate. Sirius had given so much to him but it felt as though he had received nothing in return. All just talk, breaths of air. That man's body was so detached to his heart; Remus never knew when he wanted to cry, when he truly loved. At first, he thought he could trust him to that but now he knew he couldn't. Remus had been a stranger, and had made him blind. Exploited his weaknesses, made him helpless, blind…

Clara, sensing Sirius's vulnerability pounced, "I can help you get rid of this," Clara suddenly inserted, confidence radiating from every pore of her body.

Sirius raised his head to her mesmerising eyes.

"Marry me," she stated, her eyes sparkling and shiny. "Divorce Marie. Say I'm pregnant. It would be slightly scandalous, but only slightly compared to the truth. Besides, my father can cover this up efficiently."

Sirius continued to gaze at her as she continued, "I won't say a thing. Nor will Snape. I promise you, Remus would be out of your life and he would also have a better life not that he deserves it. Think about it Sirius, if anyone else was to find out, Remus would be crushed. You could get away with it, but not him. This is the best way for him as well."

"I…don't - " Sirius began panicked but Clara smiled, "-Love me?" she finished for him, "When have you married for love Sirius Black? If you marry me, you will fulfil one of the hardest conditions with ease. You don't have to worry about Remus's betrayal. It will all be forgotten. Marry me."

It was all too much; Sirius threw the piece of parchment crumpled in his hand into the bin.

"It wouldn't matter," he slowly started, "Regulus would also know about the arrangement if Remus was working for him. If he also talked, all this." He pointed to her then him, "Would have been for nothing."

Clara bit her bottom lip, Sirius was too cruel. So it had been true. He had been completely at Remus's mercy. He had no inkling or care about her feelings. How she was crushing all her pride and dignity to have him. He did not care how this was hurting her more than anyone. How she hated being sold to him in a bargain, a business. All this for someone else he loved. Did he not know how much she had followed him, wanted to be with him? Tried to get closer to the star that had shone too far in the distance and always would. She wanted him so much.

"Remus took care of that." She whispered, a pain taking hold in her chest.

"Oh," Comprehension seemed to dawn on his mind.

"I'll give you some time to think about it," Clara pressed, suddenly closing in on him. "And this time you better return my mails."

And she kissed him. Forcefully, with something desperate in the way that she lunged and plunged with her mouth as if she had wanted all her life to do just that - explore him and connect with him. Her arms wound around his neck and his hair.

It had been such a long time since Sirius had held another woman in his hands, smelt her scent or feel like the only man in the whole universe. Her desperation touched something in his heart that made him reciprocate. Gently and tenderly to placate her passion as she whimpered pitifully, her eyes closed but not in bliss but in pain. The kiss was not causing her pain physically but Sirius had no idea what it was.

They broke apart, Clara's face still deadly pale as she hurriedly left the study with a hasty farewell. Tears overfilled her eyes as they started to flow down her cheeks. He did not love her. He had no feelings for her. The best she could do was marry a man that did not love her. She felt her knees give way as she felt like throwing something; at least you would be able to be near him, she tried to comfort herself, he would be yours, only if it is on paper.

Mascara ran and she smudged it with the back of her hand but did not care. No matter what she did, she would not look beautiful in Sirius's eyes. He hated her and always would for what she was doing to him. She did not want to, but she wanted him so badly. She did not want him to hate her, but she could not let go. She was in too deep.

She loved Sirius.

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Remus had a man he had never seen before, a porter of some sort take his bags and guide him to a carriage that was to take him to the border of the estate where he could finally apparate. He took one last look at Kiann Hall and Sirius looking down at him from one of the crystalline windows and gave him a wave before he boarded the carriage.

The watercolours flew past as Remus watched outside, his energy was already sapping from him. He was paler than usual and it was getting harder for him to smile or make any expression on his face. He was going to alone again like he had always been after Romulus's death. Reliving the nightmare again…and again…never to stop.

Remus reflected quite a lot as the carriage trundled along the cobblestone paths. When he neared the border however, he saw a man that made his blood run hot and he forgot about anything and how tired he was as the familiar blonde hair and grey eyes apparated in front of him. Remus stopped the carriage hurriedly and walked up to Lucius Malfoy who had his hands buried in the depth of his pockets.

"I can't believe you returned," Remus uttered coldly as Lucius turned his attention to him.

"I have business with him. Strictly business," Lucius replied just as coldly but with a flicker of deceit in his eyes that Remus did not like.

Lucius had been so cruel to him the last time, how much more did he have to torture Sirius until he was satisfied. No, first time Remus had deserted Sirius, the second time he had not been there for him, but now he wasn't going to stand it a third time. "I suggest you go home to your wife," Remus stated firmly, "I did not receive any notifications from the Wizengamot saying that there was any more business needing to be discussed between you and Sirius."

Lucius did not speak but merely gazed at him, "I don't particular appreciate you in butting into my business," he started slowly. "So perhaps I do have a few personal matters to settle with Sirius. Still, it is none of your concern."

Remus whipped out his wand and pointed it at Lucius's heart, "It is absolutely my concern. That man you are talking about is my husband. I suggest you leave before you make me do something you'll regret."

Lucius looked steadily at the wand that did not tremble but then his eyes flickered to Remus's and he smirked, "You love him, don't you?"

Remus smirked a rival smirk of the famous Malfoy, "Yes and you are not going to drive a wedge between us,"

"My, jealous are we?" Malfoy taunted but then faltered as Remus's lips twitched into a sneer, "You are hardly competition but your continued presence is, admittedly annoying."

Lucius laughed, "That stings Lupin." He raised his brow lightly, "but before you start getting fancy ideas. I'll tell you what Sirius is really like. What he says about love? You're a fool if you believe them."

"I am a fool," Remus interrupted, his eyes glinting hard. "And from what you have said, so you have been too."

"Yes, the first and last time," Lucius laughed, "Let me tell you. It is not hard to understand. He has ways with people. How he seems to care about you even when he appears indifferent. How he seems so human and honest and blunt. How he could become the centre of your world." Those grey eyes fixed on Remus, "But before this gets mushy, he shows his true colours. You see, he can't love. He's a Black. It was drilled into him from a young age, he cannot feel anything. If anything inspires him, money does…and power."

"Don't talk as if you know all about him," Remus muttered furiously.

"I do, more than you," Lucius snorted derisively, "When I was young, I was like you a little. I did anything for him. Anything, I did not care if my father cast crucio on me or hit me with the cane I have now. It's my favourite you know." He stared far ahead, "Just for his pleasure and delight, I did everything."

Remus was suddenly entranced by the soft lulling of his voice and the sad, wistful tone of it.

"Then I told him. I confessed. He seemed to feel the same way so we decided to run away together. Romantic I know," Lucius sounded slightly bitter, "We were young but we weren't stupid. Salazar only knows what would have happened if we were discovered by our families. At that time, that was the only way. So I prepared everything and waited for him to meet me by the riverside of a far country location we always used to run away and play in."

"He never came," Remus spoke softly.

"No he didn't, I fell asleep there. Nearly died the next day because my father found out that I had tried to run away. He did not know about Sirius of course, that was endangering his life if I spoke. But I survived," Lucius laughed, "But I thought he had been detained. So life continued. We met but he never spoke to me anymore, it's partly because father had decided to send me away abroad but we never talked about that time." Lucius shrugged, "But then there was this time when I almost died. Around seven times. Four minor attempts and three major."

"What attempts?" Remus asked, slightly curious.

"Assassination attempts," Lucius replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Assassination attempts?" Remus asked, slightly shocked.

Lucius's smile twitched into an all-knowing smirk, "It's slightly common in the upper circles but rather surprising I was target of seven."

"Who did it?" Remus asked, his voice low and slow.

"It was from the most ancient and noble house of blacks," Lucius said, his lips pursed. "I learnt afterwards, it had all been orchestrated by Sirius."

"Sirius…?"

Lucius nodded, "So don't act like you know everything ickle werewolf." He mocked, "He lied. He was very convincing, it didn't mean anything. Whatever he did, he had not meant it. All he ever cares about is money and power. He never cared about me or anything else." He sneered, "So I became like him and now I understand. It's easier like this and it suits me more. Everything is black and white. And Sirius is a liar." He glanced at Remus, "So, even though this chat was highly interesting. I have to see him."

Crack. Lucius was thrown on the ground, holding his cheek as his long, platinum blonde hair spilled around him. Blood started trickle down a cut and it turned a blotchy purple where Remus had struck him. The fist of Remus had ripped slightly at the knuckles and the look in his eyes was livid.

"I pity you, Lucius Malfoy. He really did love you. But you were fool enough to push him away and not confront him when undoubtedly he would have been suffering as much pain. Now you can't reach him so stay away from him."

Remus pocketed his unused wand, "I am deadly serious Malfoy. Stay – away – from – him. Or I will kill you."

Lucius smirked from the ground, "I used to be like that at one stage. But you'll learn," he said condescendingly.

Remus raised his bloody fist to punch him in the face again but suddenly, a girl ran towards him so fast that her hair whipped behind her and she stumbled on her dress but she reached him just in time.

"Remus! Come quickly! You have to come now! Regulus has – Regulus has…" Natasha started to bury her face in her hands and sob. "Quickly…save him."

"Wait…what?" Remus asked in alarm.

"I'll explain later, we have to go now." She was hysterical as she pulled him by his hand and apparated out of the grounds with Remus in tow.

Apparation always was an unpleasant experience and Remus felt he was lurched from his feet to go against grinding pressure to finally appear to what it appeared the top of a very high, tall building. "Where are we?" he asked Natasha who was now starting to cry softly into her hands. "Natasha! Get a grip! Where is he?" Remus suddenly shouted, her reaction really frightening him. With a quivering finger Natasha pointed at a small, hooded figure that stood at the edge of the structure and had taken fatal steps that led to empty air below.

Without thinking or with knowledge of how he did it, Remus sprinted with all his strength to where the figure had walked off and grabbed Regulus just by his hood as Remus had slid across the space between him and the edge of the topmost structure of the building by sliding on his belly. Regulus remained dangling in mid-air yet he did not struggle, instead like a heavy sack he maintained his motionless state as Remus struggled to grab on. His torso starting to slip also into oblivion as Regulus sank further with gravity.

Natasha only stood where she was, metres away, weeping. Remus gritted his teeth, "Regulus, hold onto my hand. Your hood, it's going to slip!"

"Let me go," Regulus answered calmly.

"Let's talk about this after you are on solid ground," Remus refuted pleadingly, "Just hold onto my arm,"

"It wasn't me Remus. It wasn't me…" Regulus began, his eyes blank in the dwindling sunlight.

"I believe you," Remus muttered hastily, "Just hold my hand!"

At this outburst, Regulus seemed to have gained some sense as he held onto Remus's hand and Remus was free to let go of his hood, which would have slipped through his fingers, with only a few seconds to go.

"Don't let go," Remus tried to sound calm although his mind was in a frenzy.

"I…couldn't do it by myself Remus."

"It's okay Regulus,"

"Sirius, you." Regulus howled, "I've lost everyone,"

"No, you haven't. You have me. Just don't let go alright? If you help me, we can both get out of here."

"I wonder what would happen if I were to fall. Would Sirius grieve for me? Would you grieve for me Remus?"

"You are not going to fall," Remus muttered through gritted teeth, trying to free his other arm that was trapped beneath him to grab onto Regulus with both hands, "You have to trust me."

"I do," Regulus answered honestly, he sighed, "I'm sorry I'm a burden. Let me go please. Thank you for everything Remus,"

Remus finally freed his other arm from beneath him but just then Regulus's hand slipped further away from him and Remus started to perspire as Regulus looked calmly up at him although there were thousands of metres of empty space and infrastructure as well as the ground beneath him. That were going to greet him to his death.

"I just wanted to see you one last time," Regulus confessed, "I know I'm being selfish. I know I'm wasting your time. Bye Remus. I love you."

And he let go.

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