I have a request. No one has to do it, but if you have a few minutes, it would probably be helpful if you went back and read the last chapter. It's been a while since I posted and it wouldn't hurt to have it fresh in your mind.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Chloe swam towards awareness slowly, unsure how badly she wanted to reach her goal. Anything that ended in unconsciousness was rarely good, and if she was somehow magically out of danger upon awakening, there was usually someone waiting to give her a lecture about her apparently inherent need to court trouble.

Pushing aside the fuzziness that filled her head, she cracked open her eyes just enough to confirm her suspicion – she was in a hospital room. Letting her lids fall, she began to put what little energy she had into sifting through her recent memories, trying to pinpoint what might have landed her in such an oh so familiar position.

For once, she could rule out Clark. Of course, she was honest enough to admit, not because either of them had learned to be more careful since her last hospital stay. No, she knew that her current state had nothing to do with her best friend simply because she'd been avoiding him like he had some type of virulent Kryptonian plague.

Not that it was easy when dealing with someone of the superpowered persuasion who was willing and eager to show up, literally, at a moments notice. But she'd persevered and had managed to limit her contact with Clark to research discussions at the Daily Planet and times when either Lois was around or, more rarely, Mrs. Kent was in town.

It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with Clark. He was her best friend; a relationship that had only strengthened over the previous months and, generally speaking, she loved hanging out with him.

However, Chloe wasn't stupid and she wasn't blind. She'd noticed that his feelings for her after her return had been deeper, more intense than they'd ever been before. But she'd simply attributed the change to the terrible guilt Clark carried for what had happened to her and the incredible relief he felt to have her back. Besides, they had always been closer during his off again periods with Lana, and so it hadn't occurred to her that anything was radically different as she enjoyed their time together while she waited for him to reconcile with the girl he'd loved since childhood.

Only he hadn't.

Of course, Clark had told her of his epiphany concerning Lana; assured her that the two were finally through. But Chloe had heard that song so often that she sometimes hummed it in the shower. And yet, for once, it seemed to be holding true. Although Clark was concerned for the brunette and genuinely sorry that he'd hurt her, there was no pining, no waffling back and forth about whether he'd made the right choice.

It had been a nice change of pace for Chloe to not have to play the perpetual cheerleader, and she had relished the lack of angst, until her last stay in the hospital when she finally noticed what she had resigned herself years ago to never seeing and so hadn't even recognized – the longing looks, the warm touches, the reluctance to leave her side.

Clark had feelings for her.

For her.

Chloe Sullivan.

And she wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the vagaries of fate that gave her Clark's heart when hers was so completely in Lex's admittedly dubious care. So she did the only thing that she could – she avoided him.

What had really surprised her was that Clark had let her. The two days she'd spent in the hospital, he'd been jumpy and determined to talk to her. In a fit of what she often called self-preservation and sometimes admitted was cowardice, she'd feigned a weakness from her injury and the drugs that was far greater than she felt. It wasn't until she'd received an urgent and apologetic call from Lex the day after he'd visited explaining that a dire LuthorCorp emergency had arisen and required his presence in Stockholm that Clark seemed to relax.

Not that she could blame him really. Although she didn't approve of Clark using his abilities to invade people's privacy, she knew that he was nearly sick with worry when it came to her and Lex. Except for the obsessive hovering, he'd managed to contain it most of the time, but she could only imagine the anxiety he'd felt when she'd asked Lex in to see her. If he'd listened to the conversation, as she was fairly sure that he had, it would only make sense that he'd want to talk her out of what he would see as a rash decision on her part, but then decide to give her space when the immediate threat had been removed by Lex's sudden departure.

Lex.

It was funny, in a sad kind of way, that so much of her time with Lex had been about Clark and now the reverse was true.

Not that she doubted that Clark had genuine feelings for her. Chloe knew her friend well enough to read the sincere emotions in his eyes. But she'd also been overlooked enough by him to wonder if he truly loved her or if he had convinced himself that he did because it would be the easiest way to "save" her. She suspected it was probably a little of both.

It was such a bittersweet ending to all those years of loving Clark Kent.

Finally being seen by him after being passed over again and again soothed some of the insecurities that lingered in the farthest recesses of her mind where logic and positive thinking failed to reach. But, ultimately, his change of heart struck her as slightly tragic. Their time, the days when Chloe and Clark could have been Chloe and Clark, had come and gone. Because no matter how much she loved Clark, she'd finally come to accept the fact that she was in love with Lex.

And she knew that she needed to tell him that…tell them both. But so much had happened in her life in the previous months that she felt she had the right to take a little time to get her head together.

It would be Clark that she talked to first. Not simply because she thought that it was only fair to let him down before trying to work things out with Lex, but also because he was around while Lex was still bogged down with the LuthorCorp emergency in Europe.

Not that that would last long. She was certain that once Lex learned of yet another of her hospital stays, he'd move heaven and earth to get back to her. She thought about calling him and telling him not to come, provided she could convince herself to open her eyes, but knew that it would be beyond pointless. Besides, although she'd given Lex's men the slip earlier that morning, she knew from past ditching experience that it didn't take long for them to catch back up to her. In fact, if she'd gotten into some kind of trouble, she wouldn't be surprised if they had been the ones to find her and transport her to the hospital. If so she was, of course, grateful but it made her mildly suspicious that Lex might have had her lojacked at some point.

Hearing the creaking plastic of what could only be a hospital chair, Chloe knew it was time to face the music. Taking a quick inventory of her body she realized that, with the exception of the grogginess, she felt remarkably hale and hearty. A surprise given her current location. And, with the confirmation of a general lack of injury, she opened her eyes, squinting slightly at the harsh lighting before turning her head toward her visitor.

"Lex," she rasped out through her dry lips; a soft smile lighting her face.

Smiling in return, Lex reached over and retrieved the glass of water that had been placed on the table next to her bed. Pressing the button to raise her head, he waited until she was in an upright position before bringing the liquid to her lips. As she took a long sip, he gently brushed the hair from her forehead, searching her eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

There was an intensity in Lex's gaze and an stark undercurrent in his voice that confused Chloe. Of course, the last time that she'd been in the hospital he'd been frantic, so she wasn't surprised by the agitation he was showing, but it felt…different. There was an odd energy about him that confounded her attempts to pin it down. She could practically see him a frenetic vibe shimmer about him. And yet, at the same time, there was a solid determination that was calm and unshakable.

Writing it off as the linger effects of her period of unconsciousness, she asked the most pressing question on her mind, "What happened?"

The smile fell from his lips as he sobered.

"You were drugged."

'Drugged?" Chloe's eyes widened as the haze began to recede.

"There are things I have to tell you, Chloe. So many things. And I need to say them now, while there's time."

She had, unfortunately, had enough near death experiences to know that they lent themselves to barings of the soul. When she'd been shot, Lex had also wanted to talk, and though she knew that some of that would have been a demand for answers, there were things of a personal nature that he had wanted to address that day. Things that he had put aside for her, because she needed more time. So when he asked her, begged her with his eyes, she knew that she wouldn't deny him some peace when her own questions could wait, as his once had, and she smiled and nodded supportively.

Chloe understood that what he was about to tell her would probably be difficult for him; displays of emotion never came easily to Lex. But the silence persisted; grew, and she looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to begin. And the hesitation was so uncharacteristic of the dynamic man that she loved that she reached out, touched his hand, and encouraged him.

"Lex? It's okay," she soothed. "I'm here and I'm listening. Tell me what you need to say."

With a deep breath, he turned his hand in hers; held on tightly.

"I did something,' he confessed. 'It was terrible, but I was about to lose you and I was so desperate. I was lost and it seemed, for an instant, as if it could have been a way out."

The words were ominous by themselves, but the Luthor scale of morality was so vastly different than most people's, so skewed, that Chloe knew his words could mean anything and so tried to prepare for the very worst.

"A week before your memory returned, I called Dr. Heideman."

She watched as his eyes skated briefly away before returning and in their depths she saw pain and regret and yet, still, beyond it all was that almost eerie sense of focused will.

"I asked if he could keep your memories from returning…permanently." Ignoring her gasp of shock or outrage or both, he continued. "You were remembering more and more every day and I knew – I knew that once you remembered, once you realized what I had done, you'd leave. And by then I was so in love with you and you loved me, too. But it was all falling apart; we were going to lose everything."

His jaw clenched for a moment and in a pain wearied voice he confessed, "When he told me it couldn't be done, a part of me was relieved. What I did to you was bad enough, but I always meant for it to end. But the other part of me…was terrified at the thought of losing you; at the idea that it was completely beyond my control.

"Chloe, I've known real love so rarely in my life; is it truly beyond forgiveness that I considered doing everything I could do keep it?"

And, if she was brutally honest with herself, it wasn't. Even when she had no memory of Lex or the circumstances of his life, she had known that he was broken. His stoicism was his wall against the outside world, but its mere existence allowed anyone who cared to see just how wounded he was.

But so few had cared.

And because that was the most basic truth of his life, Chloe could understand how his mind would grasp at any idea, no matter how unrealistic or how unethical, to protect the heart he'd learned, so painfully, never to open.

So it wasn't okay. It was, in fact, more than a little frightening. But it wasn't unforgivable. After all, she knew that if he'd truly wanted, he could have pursued that avenue of inquiry much further. He'd always struggled with his obsessive nature, and all too often lost.

"Look, I can't say that I'm happy to hear this, and believe me, we need to talk; but it's not unforgivable. You're not unforgivable. You stopped-"

"I drugged you."

The admission was so abrupt, so stark, that it stunned Chloe into silence.

"Well," he said with a grim twist of his lips, "Not me personally, but you understand what I mean."

She wasn't sure what he meant, but she could feel it – a dark truth waiting in the shadows of her awareness to tear her apart; to devour her. Chloe's mind shied away from that thought; allowed his words to roll over her and fall away without giving them meaning. Until they were forthright and clear, she refused to be consumed by the panic bubbling inside of her.

"Lex," she questioned, hating the slight quiver in her voice.

His gaze, so sharp mere moments before, shifted slightly above her and his eyes took on a hazy, far off quality, as if lost somewhere in his thoughts.

"You know, I wasn't the first one to inquire into the possibility of memory inhibition," he told her. "When I questioned Dr. Heideman on the possibility, he spoke with Dr. Karlsson; he's the leading expert on the memory and was consulting on your case. It was he who definitively dismissed the idea as impossible."

Lex focused on her once again. "But when have Luthors been bound by the impossible?"

The air between them became oppressive and Chloe tried to tug her hand for Lex's grasp, but he tightened his fingers, as if believing that the contact would keep her with him, no matter what was to be revealed.

"I didn't push, Chloe. I didn't pursue it or plot or strategize. I left it alone; I swear to you I let it be."

His gaze was frantic with the need for her to believe him. And she did. But she knew that such a declaration of innocence could only be the prelude to terrible acts.

"Apparently the prospect of constraining memories that were present as opposed to retrieving those that were lost, intrigued Karlsson. He wondered if working in the other direction by removing a person's past recollections could be path to learning the intricacies of this area of the mind and ultimately understand how to return them.

"He began searching for studies and case histories outside of the mainstream journals with which he was familiar, calling on both those currently in his field and those who had long since retired. It was actually the latter that had proved a wealth of information…from them that he learned of a biologic serum called FS-proBNP"

Chloe watched as Lex paused, and it seemed as if he wanted to stop speaking, maybe wanted to take back the words that had already been said. And she knew that she wanted that to. A terrible dread had taken hold of her, crushing her in its icy grip and she wanted to scream at him to stop; wanted to run, to hide, to be anywhere without these words that were twisting her insides with a growing terror.

But she did none of those things. Instead she stayed still; stayed quiet. The very air vibrated with the significance of Lex's words to their future and so she had no choice but to hear them. No one knew better the power of knowledge and truth. And if her instincts were correct, if they were perched on the cusp of an abyss, then she needed all of the information available to her, and that meant swallowing her fear and allowing Lex to continue.

"During the escalation of the Cold War, the Soviets began studying the possibility of engineered amnesia. The main application being the reeducation of dissidents and their reintroduction to society in a manner that would extinguish insurgency movements among the people. And they had a great deal of success over the years of the program; had actually tested it on many of those who had been exiled for what they considered low level rabble rousing.

"Eventually, our government learned of the research and managed to obtain a copy of the formula. They began their own trials with similar, but larger purposes for it – sending agents out on covert missions and then removing all traces of delicate information or allowing people with limited security clearances to aid in classified situations without breeching security long term. And, of course, the ability to render a foreign operative useless."

The matter of fact manner in which listed off the military uses for such a drug reminded Chloe, once again, that Lex was a formidable strategist. He saw the opportunity in every situation and everything that was happening between them hinged on that fact. And so she swallowed her reaction to his words and maintained her silence, hoping that things were not as they seemed and, if that was too much to beg from fate, hoping that she could change them.

"It's odd, you know," he continued with an almost clinical detachment. "All of the focus on memories and the FS-proBNP serum doesn't touch them. Every memory remains, safe and secure, exactly as the brain catalogued it. But without a pathway…" He trailed off; gathered his thoughts.

"That pathway is built with a protein and takes anywhere from nine to twelve months to complete the construction and then disperse. It is entirely unique to the process of memory storage and retrieval and is found nowhere else in the body. If that protein is broken down then the bridge to memories stored within that time frame are permanently lost. FS-proBNP disintegrates the protein while leaving all around it untouched."

"Then I'd only lose a year," she stated in confusion as to what he could possibly gain from this. "So I'd keep almost all of my memories except the ones of us?"

With a slightly haunted look he shook his head. "No. After your accident, all of the damaged pathways were repaired in the same manner that new ones are built. Those new pathways are all marked in a consistent manner. This will leave you exactly as you were upon waking up following your injury."

"No. No. No," the denial was almost a chant on her lips as she tore her hand from his; forced herself to asked the questions and steeled herself to hear the terrible truth. "You're just going to mess with my brain? Fill me full of some experimental goop and hope you achieve whatever twisted goals you've set for yourself?"

"Of course not," he exclaimed; appalled at the very thought of taking such a risk with her. "I would never take a chance with you. God, Chloe, you're my world!"

And the fact that she could see that he meant it made it all harder instead of better and she couldn't stop the tears – of frustration, of anger, of fear – from sliding down her cheeks.

"This procedure, it was studied for decades. And even when the testing stopped, regular follow up of the subjects occur even now in the interest of national security." His eyes were burning blue fire; almost wild in his need to convince her. "All this does is act on that one, unique element in your brain. It doesn't have any effect on anything else in your system."

His certainty was terrifying and she lashed out, "And what if it doesn't work? What then? Do you lock me up? Keep me prisoner for the rest of my life?"

"No," he assured her. "It does work. It always works. In eighty seven percent of the subjects it worked on first administration. Out of the remaining subjects, two thirds reacted positively to the second, and by the third, one hundred percent of the patients exhibited the trademark characteristics of amnesia."

"Third?" Her exclamation choked as it caught in her throat. "You're just going to pump me full of whatever the hell concoction you have over and over? How do you know for sure what will happen with all of that stuff swimming in my head?"

Lex knew that she had every reason to believe that; to assume that he was a madman. She couldn't know that he'd spent the last few weeks in Stockholm going over test after test, hundreds of case studies spanning decades. And he also knew that nothing he said would reassure her. Why should it? He wasn't so far gone that he didn't understand that her fury was righteous and just.

Still, he offered, "The serum leaves your body almost immediately, so there's no build up in the tissues. There's no way to determine it was even there. In every person who's undergone the process there was no detectable change in the brain. If it wasn't for the clinically observable absence of memories in the target time span no one would even know that anything had been done at all."

He wouldn't be swayed with talk of science. Chloe knew that he had a far better grasp of the field than she did and, moreover, she'd seen the obsession emblazoned across his face and it was that very fixation that wouldn't allow him to take the chance of causing any outcome other than the one he anticipated.

And since reason wouldn't triumph, all that was left was an appeal to the man who had sworn his love for her.

"Why? Why would you do this to me?"

Lex closed his eyes and tried to block out the agony in her voice. He'd wrapped himself up in the explanations and technicalities of it all so he wouldn't have to see this – the anguish in her eyes, hear the betrayal in her voice. He knew that what he was doing was horrific; that the darkness he'd always feared had consumed him. And so he gave her the only thing that he could, and the one thing she valued so deeply – the truth.

"Because I've found that I can live without the illusion of being a good person; without even trying to be one. I can live without any hope, any chance of redemption. But I can't live without you in my life. I can't seem to remember how."

Bleak laughter escaped him. "Do you think that I don't know that I'm obsessed? That there must be something truly wrong with me that I can even contemplate this? I know I'm a monster."

He reached out and recaptured her hand; clinging to it when she would have drawn it back. "But I also know that you love me. That you were happy with me. Healthy, safe, secure. Not because I was perfect, or rich, or strong, but because you saw something real in me; something valuable. Because I was your husband and I loved you. And I'm not willing to give that up because Clark Kent has finally figured out just how amazing you are and convinced you to hide from your true feelings in some kind of farce of a marriage with him."

Chloe's struggles to remove her hand from his stopped as confusion and a terrible, sinking feeling consumed her. "What are you talking about? I'm not marrying Clark."

"I know. At the hospital, Clark told me." His harsh tone and slight grimace showed that he was loathe to speak the words aloud. "He told me about your engagement."

Still fighting against the drugs in her system, Chloe was trying to absorb the seemingly never ending blows. But this newest revelation, she was afraid that she understood it too well.

She knew that Clark's feelings for her had been changing, growing. Knew too that he was desperate to protect her from what he saw as a genuine threat to both her safety and her happiness. It was not a great leap of logic to understand what had happened that day – that Clark had warned Lex off in a way the he thought would force the other man away by playing on his history of almost universal rejection and abandonment.

"Lex, no. Whatever Clark told you, he was just trying to protect me." Her hand turned and now grasped his. "We're not getting married; we're not even dating. There's absolutely nothing between us but friendship."

He wanted to believe her, ached to be the only one in her heart. But just as hope swelled, it was crushed under the weight of reality.

"It doesn't matter." And it didn't. "If you hadn't run into the security of his arms and his love before, there's no denying that you would do so now. He's safe and familiar and now that he sees you…he's quite deeply in love with you."

The finality in his words and the inevitability in his voice were feeding her fear and Chloe lashed out with the only weapon she could think of. "If what you say is true and Clark loves me that much then you have to know that he'll come for me. It doesn't matter if I remember him or not; he'll find me."

"No," Lex contradicted. "Not if he thinks that you're dead."

"He won't belie–"

"Actually, he will," he told her. "You've been working on some very high profile investigations with your cousin. I know because I was the one sending her all of her tips to keep her occupied while we were together.

"It wasn't even difficult," he said, sounding almost as if a part of him had hoped that it would be; that it hadn't been so easy to come to this.

"Today at 9:37 am, Chloe Sullivan left The Daily Planet and drove to the south side industrial district to meet with an informant for her story on Harkman Industries. After that meeting concluded she entered the parking garage, got into her car, and turned the ignition resulting in a massive explosion – the result of a car bomb. Her remains were identified through witness accounts of her entering the car and dental records; when the DNA results come in they will lay to rest any doubts."

She wanted to deny it; to refuse to believe that everyone she loved would think that she was dead. But the utter calm with which the words were spoken – as if the bare facts would be less personal and therefore less painful – stripped her denial away.

"And now what," she asked harshly, realizing that Lex had meticulously planned everything out. "Now what happens to me?"

"We'll go to Europe for a while," he revealed. "Even Clark acknowledged that I love you; it won't be difficult for him to believe that I simply couldn't stay here without you. And LuthorCorp has expanded it international base of operations, so running things from overseas is actually an astute business more."

"That's it?" she cried. "What about everything I've worked for, the things that I've struggled to achieve? I've dreamed of working at the Planet my whole life!"

With a shake of his head he denied her assumptions, "I know. I know how hard you've worked and I won't keep you from your dream. We'll come back. I never planned to stay away forever.

"In a few years, you and I will have built a life together. You'll be secure in my love and you'll love me in return. So when we come home we'll simply tell people that you hadn't entered the car before the explosion and were blown clear. That you were injured and had damaged your memory and so I faked your death to keep you safe. There was no actual body at the scene; the paramedics, coroner, and key law enforcement officials were all well compensated for declaring that there was and will readily admit, on our return, that it was in an attempt to keep you safe.

"Of course Clark will try to convince you that all of it is a lie but, at that point, why would you believe him – a man who clearly has an axe to grind with your husband? And what will his proof be? A previous kidnapping that he didn't even bother to report to the police? That neither of you reported?" There was a bitter satisfaction in his words. "No, Clark's only advantage in convincing you of something like that is your trust for him…but you won't have that trust by the time he realizes that you're still alive."

She ignored his confident assertions and assured him, "It doesn't matter what plans you make or how long it takes, Clark will rescue me and you won't be able to stop him."

Chloe watched as his face seemed to lose all expression and his hand pulled from hers. For a moment she thought that she may have finally reached him and made him see the folly of his plan. But he simply reached in and retrieved something from his pocket which he dropped on the bed, beside her.

Only years of practice held back the gasp in her throat, and only the crushing gravity of the situation kept the shock from twisting her features.

Kryptonite.

There, glittering up at her from where they'd been spilled, were a handful of the small remnants of Clark's long gone home.

Even as he felt the familiar tug of frustration, Lex couldn't help but admire the loyalty that allowed Chloe to be, however briefly, diverted from her own concerns to once again protect Clark's. But this time that feeling was a mere shadow of days gone by as he was merely being denied a truth he now knew.

"You don't need to deny it. My father told me. He told me everything."

It had been her greatest fear since learning that Lionel knew about Clark. Clark, by nature and circumstance was inclined to give others the benefit of the doubt, to want to believe in a person's ability to change. But Chloe knew, with every instinct that she possessed, that the only epiphanies that Lionel Luthor ever had were revelations on how to be an even greater bastard than he'd been before.

Only one question formed and she had to ask it, despite knowing that the only possible answer was that Lionel was truly evil. "Why?"

"My father witnessed my exchange with Clark at the hospital." A pained look crossed his face at the mere memory. "He came to my office the next day; told me that he'd seen Clark's declaration. He said that he could help me get you back."

Lex ignored her sharp intake of breath, the desperate clenching of her fists and continued; determine to tell her the whole of it. "Of course, nothing is free when it comes to my father. And so, in exchange for regaining some of his lost power within LuthorCorp, he told me everything about Clark – his origins, his strengths," he paused, looking pointedly down at the rocks, "and his weaknesses."

Chloe sat for a moment, completely dumbfounded by his stupidity; his utter disregard of the danger he was courting. "And you trust him? Are you insane?! You're letting your father back into your life when you know what he'll do to you."

Lex knew she was in shock; knew that she was still fighting the haze of the drugs in her system, and yet he couldn't help but be touched be her concern for him. A concern so genuine and so deep that it found expression no matter the circumstances.

"A year ago I would have agreed with you. But now…" He paused, trying to find the words to explain to her the changes in him that had come from loving her; to at least attempt to show her why he couldn't let her go. "Chloe, while my father is definitely dangerous – will always be so – my weakness, what put me so frequently at his mercy, was that I needed him to love me.

"All of my life I've been searching for a family, for the love and acceptance that offered. And, sadly, my father always seemed like the best chance I had of getting that. The ultimate approval of who I am as a person."

His gaze sharpened; intensified as he willed her to understand. "But now, now he's not. Because of you. Because you love me. Because you're the family I've been searching for, for so long. Because despite everything I've done, all the darkness and damage, you loved me, accepted me…cherished me.

"And what my father can't comprehend, can't even begin to imagine, is that that truth renders him the one thing he could never conceive of being – expendable."

Shaking with a volatile mixture of rage and fear she spat out, "And Clark? Is he expendable to?"

Lex knew where she was going; what she imagined to be Clark's fate now, and he couldn't blame her. Yes, he's felt betrayed by his former friend in many ways. Yes, he was jealous of the younger man for whom everything seemed to come so easily. But what she couldn't understand, what Clark would never understand was that he didn't want to harm, he simply wanted to comprehend.

"I don't want to hurt Clark. I have no plans to either expose or exploit him. In fact," his gaze caught hers to reveal his earnest intentions, "unless he tries to take you from me, I will leave him to his life."

He continued with a heavy sigh, "Nothing that I did was ever about hurting Clark. It was always simply about knowing. Chloe, I hit him with my car head on. And he walked away without a scratch. He's impossibly strong, able to appear in an instant, and is at the center of all that is bizarre and unexplainable in Smallville. And I knew all of this before my father's revelation."

Chloe was still, waiting, needing to know if her best friend was facing a fate darker than her own. And, on some level, Lex's words were reassuring. Since she'd awoken he had confessed a whole manner of transgressions. As appalling as his words were, he had given her no reason to doubt their veracity.

"Clark is powerful," he continued. "Too powerful to be left unchecked. To leave the world to hope that he's never effected by the various forms of the meteors, that he's never manipulated by the technology of his civilization, or that he never simply breaks under the weight of so much power. The world can't be expected to rely on your faith in him. There needs to be a safeguard. You can think the world of him, Chloe, but invincibility unchecked is an infinite danger."

And it was too much; all of it. Too much emotion, too much anger, too much pain and it flooded her soul and broke from her. "Why are you telling me this," she cried. "You claim that you love me, but if it's all been planned out and I'm powerless to stop it why taunt me like this?"

Sorrow flitted across his features and left a vulnerability in its wake that made him look young and so very breakable.

"I know that it hurts and I know that you feel helpless. I know that I'm handling this wrong because it's atrocious and there's no right way to handle it. But I just…" he trailed off while he tried to find the words to defend the indefensible, "I just wanted to give you this truth. Before so much becomes a lie, before all but our love will be built on fabrications, I wanted you to have this."

His head bowed, his voice a hollow whisper he confessed, "And, maybe, I wanted you to hate me. Maybe I wanted you to look at me with such betrayal that it's burned into my mind; so that it's always a part of me. Maybe I just needed to suffer for what I'm about to do."

Chloe had always know that Lex's greatest vulnerability to the potential for darkness within him was his ability to rationalize his choices; to find the smallest of validations in his beliefs and inflate them to encompass the whole of his actions. She could hear it now in every word he said, every argument he made; hear it in the way that he thought that he could have his happiness if he embraced his suffering. And she wanted to be able to refute his reasoning to break him with logic and truth. But, ultimately, that was beyond her as fear clutched her and agony tore at her soul and all she could focus on was all she was losing; everything he was taking from her.

"And is that what this is about? Your life; your needs?" She pressed her hands against her chest as if that would easy the terrible ache. "You talk about your bastard of a father, but what about mine? What about the good and decent, wonderful and loving man who raised me?"

Tears carved silver trails down her cheeks as the far reaching repercussions of his actions finally hit her. Her voice rose to match her growing dread. "Who will remember him? Who will know that he put little notes in the lunches he packed for me until I was thirteen? Who'll remember that he took me to the zoo every year on the day I learned my mom was gone so that I wouldn't be left with only pain when I thought about it? Who's going to hold on to the memory of him sitting by my bed, all night for an entire week after I'd been buried alive just in case I woke up and needed him?

"You're stealing him from me; killing him all over again," she shouted, caught up in her anger and her need for him to hear here.

"No! I'm not; Chloe, I'm not," he seemed frantic to reassure her. "Listen to me; when we were together we were happy. That wasn't because I knew how to have a happy marriage – God knows all of mine have been unmitigated disasters. No; we were happy because you knew how to have one.

"It wasn't something you thought about or that you remembered, it was simply a part of you. All those years watching the Kents and absorbing their beliefs about love and partnerships shaped the your most basic perceptions of marriage."

Chloe shook her head in denial, closed her eyes against the manic light in his. But nothing stopped his words from buffeting her from all sides.

"You'll keep your father alive in the same way; in the father you expect me to be to our children."

She didn't understand, couldn't comprehend the magnitude of such warped and obsessive thinking that would allow someone, not to just consider such an undertaking, but to actually follow through with it.

Dazed at his utter certainty and overcome by a crashing wave of hopelessness she whispered, "I'll hate you.'

Desolation washed over his face as his whisper answered hers, "You won't tomorrow."

"No, no!" Panic swallowed her whole and reduced her to desperate pleading. "Lex, you don't have to do this. It doesn't have to be this way. We can work this out. I can forgive you; I swear! Please, we can still make it work."

The grief carved on his face and the depths of his need warring with his self-loathing answered her question as eloquently as the words that seemed torn from him, naked and raw.

"I have to. I have to. Chloe…God," his face twisted in agony, "I just want my wife back."

Pulling back sharply, she lunged off the other side of the bed. At the door in scant steps, she threw it open only to be greeted by the impossibly large and burly form of one of Lex's security team. Before she could even attempt to evade him, large, heavy arms encircled her, moving her back into the room.

Thrashing wildly, she didn't notice Lex behind her or see the doctor at her side until her arm was firmly grasped and the prick of a needle, followed quickly by a sudden lethargy, pierced her hysteria. The arms holding her slid away as another, more familiar pair embraced her; lifting her carefully before placing her back on the bed.

As she lost the battle against the pull of unconsciousness, the last the she heard was Lex's voice, soft and steady.

"It's okay, Chloe. Everything will be okay."

Entering the small room, Lex moved swiftly to the bed where Chloe was resting. The doctors had assured him that the procedure had worked within minutes and that all that was left was to wait for the sedative to wear off. Once it had begun to do so, he vacated the room, leaving the doctors to run their tests and to give her a brief and highly edited overview of her situation. It seemed best to let them deal with her initial confusion as they were better adept at handling such matters and Chloe's inherent understanding of society would lead her to believe what she accepted as an authority on the subject.

He also acknowledged that, despite how well he knew her, their familiarity with memory disorders might give them the edge in accessing the success of the procedure. And, thankfully, their professional opinion was that all had gone according to plan.

With a shuddering breath, Lex felt his tension ease. Although he knew that he would have to see, to judge for himself, he couldn't help the relief at the thought of not having to put Chloe through such an ordeal again.

He realized that she must have heard his sigh as her eyelids fluttered for a moment before opening to the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen – her green eyes, glowing with her inherent intelligence and curiosity, but stripped of any animosity, any betrayal, any sign of her past. And, suddenly, he was filled with an unfamiliar sense of gratitude at life, the universe, fate, whatever force it was that had given him this one perfect thing in an otherwise cold existence.

Sitting in the chair that the nurse placed at her bedside for him, Lex reached out, hesitating slightly before closing his hand over hers. Watching her slight blush at his actions, he waited for her to speak.

"So, I'm guessing that we know each other."

It was an eerie replay of the same moment played out months before. And with a lightened heart and a sense of contentment so overwhelming in its unfamiliarity, all he could do was follow her lead.

"I would hope so; otherwise our wedding would have been a very awkward affair."

~ End~

A/N: All thoughts and comments are welcome and if there are any questions that need answering, I'll do my best.

I want to sincerely thank every reader who stuck with this story to the end. You've all been really amazing and I know that I have not been reliable with the updates. It's been a lot of fun. :)