In the Light of a Bright Full Moon
Disclaimer: I don't own Lily, James, or anything else mentioned in this.
Lily Evans ran into the deserted classroom and let herself fall backwards, banging her head against a wall. How could she have gone outside tonight, of all nights? She knew what happened during the full moon. How could she not, having been prefect with Remus for nearly two years?
Her whole body shook as she remembered what she had seen.
James Potter, the boy that drove her insane. The arrogant prick that she hated. "No," she whispered to herself. Her voice had the air of one who was repeating the same argument, always trying to convince the same stubborn person of something. She hated lies, especially in herself, when there was no one to mock her for the truth. She would not let herself keep sliding into the patterns that she assumed in public. She could be honest about her feelings, in private if not in public. She wanted James Potter, and she hated him for not being decent enough for her to give in to him without losing every shred of self-respect and decency she had. How could she possibly date someone who hexed people for fun? Who thought that he was better than everybody else because he could fly a broom? He was everything she despised, everything she stood against. She hated herself for the way her heart sped up when he smiled at her, when he asked her out, when he made her scream. She hated herself for wondering what his lips would feel like against hers, what his hands would feel like all over her body. And she hated herself for being unable to truly hate him.
She had seen something that would change her life.
Why, why, why had she ventured out tonight? Why had she decided that tonight would be the perfect night for a moonlit stroll? Why had she decided to break the rules tonight of all nights? Had it been fate guiding her? She logically dismissed that idea, but it had taken root in her heart. She could no longer hate her feelings for James, and her heart and soul were screaming that it was fate, that she and James were meant to be, that she was fated to see something that would change her mind about him, maybe even enough for her to give into him.
She had seen something that she had never thought was possible.
Naturally, she had been shocked to see Severus Snape outside. She considered talking to him, but thought better of it. While she pitied him, the only thing they had in common was skill at Potions, and they were far from friends. Poor Severus, he had no friends at all. Her peaceful foray into the night was interrupted by curiosity, and she couldn't help but watch as Severus made his way to the Whomping Willow. Why on earth would he want to go there? She watched, transfixed as he placed an engorging charm on a twig, making it grow into a long stick. He prodded something on the tree with the stick, and the branches suddenly stopped. He slid into a tunnel in the roots. Lily had a horrible feeling that she knew what lay in wait at the end of the tunnel. She started towards the tunnel as the branches started moving again. The stick was still lying on the grass, but she had no idea where to press it to the tree to make it freeze. She didn't even stop to think about her plan.
She had seen something that warmed her, inside and out.
She heard the door swing open, and she immediately threw herself on the ground, though she didn't know why. She'd never get to Severus if she was hiding, and maybe the person who had left the castle could help her rescue him. But she was a loyal friend, and then she would have to reveal Remus' secret, and she couldn't do that, not even if Snape's life was in danger. What kind of a person did that make her?
She heard someone stumble, and James' all-too-familiar voice swear. He suddenly appeared, tearing something silvery off, and leaving it in the grass, sprinting towards the Willow. As soon as he passed, she ran towards the thing he had abandoned, pulling it over herself, knowing what it was, though she had never seen one before. She walked unsurely towards the Willow. The branches were moving again, but James had thrown the stick away after he had used it. She bent down and picked up another twig, which she made grow. She cautiously began prodding the tree. Not there. Not there. Not there. Her eyes landed on a promising-looking knot. She edged closer, into the range of the wild branches, and tried again, hitting the spot right next to the knot. She tried, and missed again. What was wrong with her?
She heard James shout something, a note of panic in his voice. She had to do it now, she had to help him. She aimed wildly in the direction of the knot, and her heart sank, knowing that there was no way she had succeeded in freezing the tree, she had done nothing to help James. But the tree froze. Had the same fate that had lead her outside that night lead her stick? James burst out of the Willow, dragging along Severus, who was half-draped over his shoulder. In her worry over James, she had completely forgotten that there was another man in the Willow, one she had originally tried to save.
A paw stuck up through the tunnel. Remus had chased James, and now he was getting out! She jumped back, hoping beyond reason that werewolves couldn't sense people wearing invisibility cloaks. But once again, luck was on her side. Just as his paw came into view, the Willow came back to life, whomping around, and scaring him back into his hole. The sudden movement of the tree seemed to have alerted James to the presence of another. He turned his head, but, seeing no one, he quickly turned and scanned the ground. He looked back towards Lily with a knowing look, and their eyes seemed to meet. But they couldn't, she knew. She was invisible, James couldn't see her. But, somehow, he seemed to know she was there. She fled across the lawn as James turned his attention back to his injured enemy, hanging over his shoulder and petrified with fear.
She had seen James Potter save the life of his sworn enemy.
She lifted her head and banged it into the wall behind her repeatedly. Her fingers caressed the silky, silver material between her fingers. She brought it up to her nose. It smelled like James, a smell that simultaneously comforted and excited her, though both against her will.
No. Not against her will. At last, she gave in to the smell that had wafted out of the Amorentia in Slughorn's room at the beginning of term. Maybe she couldn't give into the man yet, not entirely, but she could willingly let herself be swept away by his scent. She slid down the wall, curling up, hugging her knees to her chest, with the cloak wedged between them, and her nose buried in it.