Title: Gate Room Conversations

Rating: K

Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights to Stargate: SG-1 or its characters.

Summary: Sam and Cameron have a much needed conversation in the Gate Room. Sam/Cam friendship.

"Damn it people, we all know that man is Houdini reincarnated! Who left him unattended this time?

Sam entered the infirmary to see Dr. Carolyn Lam staring down the entire staff and each nurse pointing at someone else. Figuring the entertainment value might be pretty high, she sat back and watched the situation play out.

"Never mind," Lam ground out realizing that she was never going to get a straight answer. "Just please tell me that none of you were stupid enough to leave crutches or a walker within his reach." She was met with a sea of shaking heads.

"He, ah, learned how to pick the lock on the supply cabinet door the time before last, Dr.," one of the staff managed in a weak voice.

"And you didn't tell me this because…" Carolyn dropped her head into her hands. She heard a small squeak and waved the nurse off with a 'never mind' gesture. That man was going to give her an aneurysm before she was done here. She finally looked up to see Carter leaning in the door frame trying to hold in her laughter. "Your team leader is the biggest pain in the ass I have ever had the pleasure of poking a needle into."

Sam only laughed harder, "he skip out on you again?"

Lam through up her hands in disgust, "third time in two months. I even had him in four-point restraints this time, I was hoping to get at least one exam in after he woke up."

Carter decided to take pity on the poor woman; Cam had pretty much put her through hell since coming here eight months ago. Sam was just glad Carolyn hadn't gotten the General involved, Mitchell would be in seriously hot water if she did. "I'll find him for you."

"Thanks," Lam sighed in defeat. "Just do a quick check to make sure that thick skull of his managed to protect him again, will you? Oh, and let him know I want him back here before dinner so I can cast that leg please."

"Will do," Sam couldn't help but shake her head in amazement as she exited the infirmary. It was no secret that Cam hated the infirmary, but this was getting a bit ridiculous. Taking off before Carolyn had even had a chance to examine him was bad, even for Mitchell.

After the first couple of times he'd disappeared, Sam had figured out most of his favorite hiding spots. He seemed to rotate between his office, his quarters, and the library among others. She'd even found him in the gym once after a particularly bad mission, beating the hell out of a punching bag with one arm trapped in a sling and blood ripping into his eyes from a cut on his forehead. But more often than not, she found him in the gate room staring at the ring in deep contemplation.

Poking her head into the darkened room, she nearly missed his still form sitting in the corner. The dim light reflecting off the stolen crutches gave him away. "Cam?"

Mitchell tore his eyes from the ring to look up at his teammate. "That was fast, I haven't even been here an hour." He rolled his shoulders and rested his gauze encased forearm on his good leg. "What's up Sam?"

"Well, besides the fact that Dr. Lam is terrorizing the medical staff for letting you escape, we're worried about you Cam. I know you hate being in there, but you at least have to give her a chance to make sure you're alright." She settled on the floor next to him, careful not to bump his outstretched leg.

Cam gently leaned his head against the back wall, doing his best to avoid the bruised area on the back of his skull. "I know Sam, I just hate waking up in there. I feel like I can't breath."

Carter could understand his aversion to being poked and prodded, but there was something else in his eyes. She couldn't decide if it was fear or regret she was seeing, "Why?"

"Because I hate being helpless, because it means I screwed up and more than likely someone else paid the price too." Cam let out a shaky breath, he'd never really talked about this with anyone before.

"Because of Antarctica?"

"I guess you could say that," he gave a hollow laugh.

Sam furrowed her brow in confusion. She knew how badly he'd been hurt in that fiasco, which would explain the helpless comment, but not why he felt he had screwed up. "Cam, you saved our lives down there, I don't see how that constitutes a screw up on your part."

"The screw up occurred when I let Redmond get shot down saving my sorry ass and then I let my own craft get damaged." He closed his eyes flashing back to his first coherent thoughts after waking up in the hospital. His CO had been there informing him about the status of his squadron. Only one out of the eight F-302s had made it back to the Prometheus, four other members of his command had managed to eject in time. Six out of sixteen was not a good survival rate. Laying there not being able to move had given him a lot of time to think about those who hadn't made it and how he had contributed to their deaths. Then there was his own feeling of helplessness at not being able to do anything for himself.

Sam could see that Cameron had drifted a million miles away. She had watched his eyes fill with a pain that wasn't merely physical and she knew she had to try to get him out of this funk. She'd seen him like this before; he expected himself to be prefect, he thought he should be able to save everyone. "Cam," she used her sternest voice, but he didn't take his eyes off the gate. She gave his shoulder a gentle shake, but snatched her hand away when he visibly jumped, "sorry."

"That's ok, guess I kinda zoned out on you there."

"Least I know your head is ok." She continued when Cam gave her a quizzical look, "Carolyn asked me to do a quick exam when I found you. Oh, and she wants you back there before dinner so she can cast your leg."

He sighed, "Yeah, I kinda figured it was broken. You don't have to babysit me Sam, I promise to get checked out in an hour or two."

"Cam, I'm not here to babysit you, I'm going to sit here until you realize that you can't expect yourself to be perfect, you can't save everyone." She stopped to slap him none to gently on the arm when he snorted in a disbelieving manner. "Cameron Mitchell, you will listen to what I have to say. I know that you never planned on or asked to lead SG-1, but you've done a great job."

"Except when I got us all captured by Worrel, or-"

Sam cut his mumbling off with another slap to the shoulder. "That was not your fault. If Ba'al hadn't taken the gate, we would have made it back without a problem. Look, whether you want to hear it or not, you've helped save countless lives. I know some have been lost, and we all regret that, but you can't focus on it." She wasn't all that surprised to see tears rimming his eyes; she had a fairly good idea who had come to mind.

Knowing that he could deal with those emotions and the headache already residing in his skull, he attempted to lighten the mood with a joke. "Carolyn put you up to this so I'd stop doing my disappearing act on her?"

"Cam, we all worry about you. We've all had a lot longer to get used to this than you have. As to being helpless, I visited you after Antarctica, you were far from helpless the second you woke up. Look, I'm not saying you have to be a model patient, but at least get fully checked out before you pull a Houdini."

"I'll work on it, but I'm not making any promises."

Carter laid a comforting hand on his arm, "That's all I'm asking. Cam, you know you can come talk to me anytime, right?"

"I know Sam, thanks."

For the first time since she'd found him, she saw a genuine smile light up his face. She'd always marveled at how expressive his eyes could be when he let them and how quickly they could change from abject grief to sparkling mischief. "What do you say we get your leg casted so that Carolyn can release you for real?" She stood and turned to offer him a hand.

"Sounds like a plan." He took her outstretched hand and maneuvered awkwardly to his feet. "Gawd, I hate these things," he muttered when she passed him the pilfered crutches.

"Well just think, only six to eight more weeks of them."

Mitchell groaned dramatically, "don't remind me."

Sam was really glad that his mood had turned around, but she knew it wasn't the last time they would have this Gate Room conversation. They'd all been on both sides of it at one point or another, it was part of the job. Something Dr. Lam had said synapsed in her brain as they left the Gate Room. "Hey, how'd you manage to get out of those restraints anyway?"

Cam chewed on his lip for a second before answering. "Ah, lets just say that an old girlfriend liked to keep things interesting in the bedroom." He smiled sheepishly at Sam, a slight flush creeping into his cheeks.

"Oh, Ooh." Sam didn't even try to curb the mental images that were flooding her ever active imagination. They were way too enjoyable.