First Times.

1/1.
The first time Jack had really hit someone was the summer after his senior year. If he had thought before that he had been apart of the family then he had been wrong. There was no more "Come on Jackie boy has school tomorrow," or "Just stay home Jack,". Obviously, it was his slow and torturous decent into adulthood. He had thought that he was all grown up before. Smoking weed and getting high. Worrying Evelyn by staying out at all hours of the night. Getting so drunk he couldn't remember kissing the blonde haired girl that would approach him later and explain how she met him over at what's-his-face's party over-on-whatever-it-was street. He had thought that he was some tough shit. Hitting someone though. Really hitting them. Not in defense. Not because they had fucked with him. Just because. It had done something to him. He sat in the car, edgily, pressing the nail of his thumb into the back of his hand. It stung when he ran his finger over the slightly indented flesh.

"Whatever happens," there was a slight pause and Jack looked in the passenger-side mirror to see Angel back there. Content as ever. He had done this a million times before, "hey look at me Jack," a thick snap brought Jack back to attention, "don't get out of the car ok? No matter what happens. Don't get out of this fucking car,"

There had been some light arguing over what to do with him. Angel said to just let him stay in the car. Bobby, of course objected. Jerry kept his gaze fixed on something outside of the window. He could give a flying fuck about what they did with Jack. Of course he really did care. He was just pissed because the little boy couldn't keep his mouth shut. He had to tell Evelyn who had to tell Bobby. Damned if he'd ever tell him anything ever again... He had gotten them into this mess. Bobby had to take everything to heart. They lived in Detroit for Christ-fucking-sake. He couldn't honestly throw a hissy fit every time someone said some unpleasant shit. It had happened simple enough. Someone had said some shit to Camille when they were out eating. Jerry had responded. Jerry got his ass beat by four guys. Whatever. He could take a beating for his girl. Bobby obviously couldn't have it.

Jack had tried to block out the sound of talking. Voices just soft enough to turn into inaudible mumbling. Bobby chuckled, motioning to the guy. Jack could just imagine what he was saying, "Can you believe this?" something along the lines of that. And then the guy said something. They were in a deserted parking lot (just catching this guy after they had waited in that parking lot for a hour) and it was suddenly as if the world had stopped. Bobby was pissed. He didn't know what the guy had said but he could see Jerry trying to calm him down.

And then he pulled the gun out of his waistband. He had never actually seen the gun. He had heard about it murmured in hushed conversation. "Come on Bobby. You know I don't like you carrying that thing around..." Evelyn would say when Bobby and her were seemingly alone.

Jack didn't know why. For some reason...

He thought that he could protect that guy. He thought that he could protect Bobby from his anger. He thought that he could protect Jerry by saving him. Most of all he thought that he could protect that stupid kid with the afro who had fucked with one if the Mercer kids.

That's why the first time he hit someone –really hit them– he could detach himself completely from the situation and pretend as if it really had nothing to do with himself. He made himself believe that it wasn't somewhat therapeutic for him.

"Come on Jack. Jack. Jack!" Bobby pulled him back forcefully after he didn't respond the first time. Jack ended up falling on top of him. Angel let the guy go so he could roll over somewhat and cough into the gravel parking lot. That was when he started shaking. His eyes beginning to water, "come on. Get up kid," he felt helpless having to have Bobby walk him back to the car.

Jack let Jerry touch him. He was still shaking on the ride home. The whole way home. Jerry covered Jack's hand. He didn't necessarily enclose it. Just covered it. Jack couldn't handle being enclosed. His spine straightened anytime anyone would wrap him up in a hug too tight. His breathing became labored anytime anyone would do the Evelyn thing and squeeze his hand. Anyone other than Evelyn of course. "I told you we shoulda taken the princess home first," Angel chuckled slyly, cutting a glance over at Bobby.

"Naw. He did ok for his first time,"

"Yeah, well I don't know too many people that beat some dude's ass and cry afterwards,"

"Don't fucking talk about me like I'm not in the car,"

Bobby and Angel looked at each other, breaking out into laughter.

"You gonna beat me up too princess?" Angel turned around and smacked Jack's thigh although it was obvious he wasn't having so much fun with their banter. He was less enthralled than usual, "he only did it cause I was holding the guy back," Angel scoffed.

"Come on man. Leave him the fuck alone. Why yall always gotta do this shit?" Jerry sucked his teeth. Clearly, as always, he leveled himself on a higher scale than the rest.

Jack hated them. What the fuck? How could they joke about beating a guy up in the parking lot of a bar and leaving him out there like some useless piece of garbage discarded out of a car window.

"Oh shut the fuck up Jerry you got us in this shit," Angel rolled down his window all the way down, hanging his hand out to dry. Of course, the blood had dried a long time ago. If all went well though the air would sweep through Bobby's old car and dry their memories.

"No Bobby. You got us into this shit," Jerry mumbled , hitting the back of Bobby's chair.

"Right. Right. Blame everything on Bobby. That always works,"

"Just telling the truth," Jerry mumbled.

"Truth? Angel remember that time when...ah-" Bobby snapped his finger when he couldn't exactly get the words out.

"Whatever Bobby. You're always tryna blame other people for shit that-"

Jack let the voices float away from him and the feeling of Jerry's hand over his disappear as he slowly realized that he had accomplished something. Even if he had only just been inducted into their sad world of "adulthood" Jackie boy was actually growing up.

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