Shuichi's Condom Run

Starlite: Yes. This is horrible I know. I don't own Gravitation...Or any of the condom brands I mention...Or Wal-Mart. Oh and possible OOC for Yuki.

The evening was bright and Shuichi was excited to come home to his sweet Yuki. Shu had recently been on a tour that took him into parts of Europe and China, so he knew his greeting should be glorious.

"Oh! Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! We shall play tonight! You'd have better not been staying up with one of your trashy novels! After tonight, you'll have plenty of inspiration anyway!" Shuichi sang as he skipped down the street.

As he rounded the street corner, he noticed that the apartment light was off. That was odd. It was 7 o' clock. Why would his Yuki be asleep already? He reached for his keys, unlocked the door, and twisted the cold handle.

"Helloooooooooooo!? Yuki?! Are you homeeeee!?!?!?!?"

Before he could turn to leave, he was bound and looking Yuki straight in the face. "Ok, Brat. You have two choices. The first is easy. You go to the store and buy a box of condoms and bring them back here. Or, second choice, you get kicked out and I'm hiring a prostitute."

"Yuki, why do we need condoms!? I can't get pregnant and both of us checked negative for STDs. We don't use them! Use the money on some beer!"

"Don't argue with me...Damn brat...The straight man in me wants to use protection."

"Did it ever occur to you that the straight man in you is sleeping with the gay man in me...Is you straight man bi-curious?" Shu giggled.

"Just get the rubbers and get back here."

"Yes Sir!"

And with that Shuichi blazed out the door. He knew that the sooner the better. If he made it a quick trip, Yuki would be pleased and make life easier for Shuichi. By the time he reached the drug store, he was pretty tired. He ran the entire way. "Sir! Sir! I NEED RUBBERS!!!"

The cashier looked at him as if he was an insignificant insect. "The counter closed at seven. You can't buy medicines or contraceptives after that time.

"Listen asshole! Does it look like I need contraceptives! I'm a guy! I just want some condoms! I NEED THEM! Ummm...My boyfriend has HIV. And it's because you douche bags close the counter at seven!!! WHO USES CONDOMS BEFORE SEVEN!?!?"

"Condoms aren't always an effective way to prevent HIV. The virus can penetrate the latex." The snooty cashier said without missing a beat.

"Well then...Who sells good quality rubbers after seven?" Shu grunted.

"Wal-Mart. Who else?"

Before the cashier could finish, Shuichi was already down the street. "I have to get home!! Rubbers! Rubbers! Rubbers!"

He bolted through the door. He knew this was the place. Nobody could beat Wal-Mart. "Only you can save me now, Trojan Man!" He bellowed.

At last, condoms. Ribbed: For her pleasure. Excellent. Now I can go home and have a nice, raunchy night of hot and steamy sex...Yummy. But then he thought, Maybe I should buy something erotic to eat too...Hmm...Why not!

Before he knew it an hour had passed, but he had an armful of whipped cream, oysters, strawberries, pocky, hot dogs, and chocolate sauce. Oh well...Yuki will be so happy to see me!

On the way home he saw Hiro, with Ayaka on his arm. Hiroshi motioned for him to come over there.

"Hey Buddy, doing some grocery shopping?" Hiro smiled, unaware of the sacks' contents.

"Umm...Yeah...NOOO!!" A bag ripped. The bag just happened to contain the ribbed condoms, the whipped cream, and the hot dogs.

"Well, We'll be on our way...Looks like you're in a hurry..." Hiro and Ayaka made a quick getaway. Shuichi picked up his things and ran home.

As he approached the apartment he noticed that the lights were still off...That's odd...Yuki must be ready to pounce on me again...

He opened the door and braced himself...He let out a shriek of pleasure. "Yuki, you bad boy! Making me drop my bags." He flipped on the light.

No, Yuki definitely hadn't pounced on him...A coat fell off the back of the door and landed on him. The nearby chair attacked the bags. What could that man be planning. I'll go get our love chamber ready...Maybe he's in there.

When Shuichi turned on the light he saw the worst possible thing. Yuki was laying in their bed, snoring loudly. A jar of opened Vaseline and some used tissues were laying on Shuichi's side of the bed.

Starlite: Yes...it's short I know...I needed something to get me back into writing. ALWAYS REVIEW!!!