"Deadend" by Year-of-the-Dragon
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Furuba.

A/N: Another for you! (to my sister) and thank you all who have reviewed (epescailly shriveled.up.heart ) I'm sorry about the spacing.

I called from school. I lied. I told the nurse I was sick, but really I only can't stand that place for another second. I sit on the curb waiting; my legs together to keep prevs from looking up my skirt.

Your car pulls up and you open the door to me. I climb in without saying anything and throw my stuff in the back.

I don't bother with seatbelt. Why should I bother? You don't have one on either. Soon you will probably smoke with the windows shut. So, what does it matter. We drive away.

I, in vain, try to pull my skirt down a few centimeters to cover my pale thighs, but you do not notice. Nobody questions the skirt. I over heard you talking to Shigure-san and you said (if I remember correctly) my skirt is a call for attention. You were right like always, but I want YOUR attention, not Tohru's or Haru's. Yours, period.

I settle down and look at you. Your eyes are ahead and you have your glasses on. I hate your glasses; they make you look old.

I cough.

You turn to look at me; I guess it your dragon curiosity. Your eyes are breathtaking but so dead at the same time. You say so softly, "Are you sick?" I shake my head. You accept and turn back the road. You knew I was never sick to begin with.

I stay quiet, normally I would talk but I am not in the mood. You are taking the long road home. We turn to a country road with a tree lining and you speed up. You are going close to 90 now.

I was right. You pull out a cigarette and place it between your soft lips. I get your lighter. You are smoking now. I wonder what goes through your head. Do you wish you were dead like me? Do you think of her? I think that in your mind you are always driving going farer away.

I speak up finally. "Got any appointments today?" You shake your head and your black hair covers your eye and the glasses more. I wonder what you do all day. Sleep? Drive? I think you visit Shigure-san and you two gossip or you visit Ayame-san…

I am sick of the pressing silence. I hit the fist button on the radio and turn up the volume, a talk show. I go to the next and the next till a familiar song plays. You don't care what I do.

I think you drive everyday, like a machine, you just go through the motions of the day but what you love is to drive going fast enough so your memories can't catch you. You know how it makes Ayame feel when you leave. I still remember the time you left for three days without any warning I think I was about 10 then. Aya stayed with me then, he cross-stitched the whole time some Chinese symbols on a coat for himself (which meant it was for you to notice him in). He cried while working on it but he never made a mistake. I get the feeling he does that a lot.

We waited three days and you came in a little worse for wear, with your hair unwashed, and clothes wrinkled. Yet, you looked so handsome still. You gave Aya a seashell from the coast. You came to me a smiled and handed me some sugary candy, then ruffed my blond hair. You went to bed, and Aya went home.

I pull at my skirt some more till I fine a loose thread and pull at it. You glance for a moment then back to road ahead. I don't have what you have. I can't drive away, or sew. I don't even have someone like Shigure to talk to. (I may talk all the time but I am saying nothing.) I feel sick the kind of sick a pill won't help even though I tried.

We finally met another driver on the road he is front of us. He is slowing down and the bright red lights are all I can see for a minute. My eyes burn and blink away the water. The other car pull into I guess his drive way.

We drive on speeding. It has been a few hours but it doesn't feel that long. We have the radio is off again. You slow down again at the large wood sign.

"Dead end." You say it more like a curse than a fact. You stop the car and turn off the engine. You sigh and knock some ash off into the ashtray that you keep in the car. I don't know why you stopped; maybe you want to talk but, I want to show you how I feel. No one is around so I get closer.

I surprise you and kiss you. Your lips are soft and warm. My tongue slips over them. You seem to not mind. So, I put my hand on your hot thigh, I push my painted pink half chewed on nails in your gently into your clothed thigh, so not to hurt you or worse leave marks, proof that I was been there to begin with.

I deepen the kiss. You tongue fights mine only a little while; I move my hand up your thigh to an even warmer spot.

I am almost totally over the armrest now. Then you stop me. You pushed me hard away.

Away. You keep everyone away, it is safe for you that way I think. You give me the look telling me to stop, like you always do. I retreat to my seat.

"We're going home." You almost sounded like it was a question, yet you start the engine and turn the car around. Now I think it was a command. So, I nod. Home sounded weird to me.

I know your mind is still on the road looking ahead wishing to go farer and farer until you leave everything behind, but I don't think there is enough road for that. How many dead ends have you stopped at? Wishing, waiting for them to disappear?

You don't glance at me anymore. You keep your sad sea green eyes on the road. You seem to ignore me, like I am not even in your car. I bet you do this to Ayame and Shigure too. Soon, you snuff the cigarette in ashtray. I look out the window at the trees and become a little dizzy. We drive onward. I may be next to you but you are miles away. I feel we will never stop moving forward. Running, from our own demons yet we will never leave them behind. Why do you run away from me?

is it the fact that you want to be free
the piece you took of my heart
that I gave you then for a new start
is floating away
why do you run away from me
is the fact that you want to be free
I'm left right here all alone
the best piece of my heart has gone
tell me please why don't you stay
Pax

A/N: End