Chapter 22: Over My Head

Troy's POV

It's Friday, and I'm still thinking about what I did to Gabi—Gabriella on Monday. I snapped at her, and it just hurt me to see her hurt like that. I never intended for this to happen. Who actually wants someone they once loved to tremble in fear before them?

When did I become this way? When did I change? I don't like myself. I can even tell I'm isolating myself from the others. Maybe I seemed to get over Gabriella too fast...

Chad throws the ball to me, and I almost fumble and miss it, but now it's in my hands. Everything happens in slow motion.

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth

I wish there was a way to get out of this, to just ignore everything and have it like it used to be. I wish I could turn back time and be with Gabriella again. I wish my friends were still true to me. I wish, I wish, I wish...Life would be so much easier...

But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

I tilt my head towards the side and spot my girlfriend cheering for me. Her blonde hair is tied up in a loose ponytail with red and white ribbon. She's wearing my other jersey, and she's jumping excitedly. She calls my name. She's ecstatic, and she's not Gabriella...

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

I glance at the scoreboard. There's eight seconds to the clock. Yells and cheers are directed at me; my team's counting on me. I glance around at an entire gym of anticipating watchers. Sometimes the pressure can be overwhelming. Knowing that I let them down would not only tear them down, but me also. Everything is riding on me.

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Finally my eyes come across the person I want to hold so much, the one I was stupid enough to let go and hurt. She stands out; she's not with the rest. She's off to the side, looking uncomfortable. A deer in the headlights, Katelyn would say.

She moves her head slightly at an angle away from me, upsetting her hair. I can imagine the scent of her hair, her lips against mine.

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

I remember when she would be the one cheering for me. My number would be painted on her face, and every time I looked at her, I knew I could win. In fact, she would influence me to step up my game just by being there.

I loved her, what happened to that?

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Gabriella's POV

As I watch Troy, I try to let go of him. I try to forget about the times we've shared. I try to get over the fact that he's not mine. Everything is in the past. A part of me is just telling me to bury it.

This time of the game would be the climax for me. I'd be just as excited as Troy. I'd be the crazy girlfriend rooting for her boyfriend. I would think that if he missed, my day would be ruined as well. Now I'm just hoping that he doesn't mess up so my friends, our school can win.

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Troy's POV

I wish I could tell her I'm sorry for everything, that I love her, and nothing ever did change that. I was irrational, and I can't blame anything on her. Whatever she has done, I would have done as well.

I need her. I need her beside me; I need her with me. Instantly, I would forgive her if only she would talk to me.

The swish of the net, a buzzer, my school cheering—it all means nothing to me. No one is in the room except for Gabriella. I can only hear her; I can only see her. No one else matters.

I want to take a step towards her, but I can't force my legs to move. Now I'm the deer in headlights. As she turns away, someone grabs me, forcing my attention on her instead.

"Nicole," I say unenthusiastically and heartbroken, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"Good job! You won!" She pulls me in a hug, but I just push away. It doesn't seem right. Her stature changes. "Are you okay?"

"Actually, I'm not."