"Reputations"
By Jason Andrew

Lieutenant Reginald Barclay sat nervously in ten-forward sipping his third drink of warm milk while staring out at the stars. It had been three months since he almost lost his place on the Enterprise due to his holodiction. Councilor Troi had prescribed at least one hour a day interacting socially. Since he felt most comfortable in Ten-Forward, it had become a comfortable daily ritual. He glanced occasionally at his crew-mates enjoy their meals, envious.

"Poetry or women?"

Barclay jerked, a bit surprised. Guinan always had that effect on him. "Excuse me?"

Guinan smiled serenely. "People who stare at the stars like that are usually either writing poetry or thinking about the opposite sex. Of course, some would say that women are poetry."

Barclay liked talking to the bartender of the Enterprise. She was the one woman that he could talk to without stuttering. "That seems fair as I've always been confused by both."

Guinan nodded, understanding. "Is that why you seem down? I don't mean to intrude, but you seemed like you might need a friendly ear."

Barclay thought about confiding to Guinan, but it was a very delicate subject matter and frankly it wasn't a woman's perspective he wanted. "I'm just contemplating a problem."

Guinan nodded, not fooled. "Things seem to be going well for you since your. . .problem."

"You mean my breakdown? Everyone is nice about it. I haven't heard anyone say Lieutenant Broccoli in months."

"You were very brave to come back and face everyone," she said. "It's not easy when you feel everyone watching you."

Barclay nodded. "I want to connect. I do, but it is very difficult."

Guinan finished the thought for him. "Especially with women."

"Y-yes. I'd like to learn to talk to women." Barclay was proud that he actually said the words.

"You seem to be talking to me just fine," Guinan noted.

"I know that you like me. You've always been kind to me, which I appreciate."

Guinan patted his shoulder. "Terkim."

"I-I don't understand the reference."

"My mother's brother. His name was Terkim. You remind me of him. It reminds me of home."

Guinan's world had been destroyed decades before by the Borg. She rarely spoke of her world; her family. "Thank you for the kindness, Guinan."

"He was different and it took a while for the world to appreciate him. But he eventually blossomed."

"Don't you think I'm a bit too old for that?"

Guinan winked. "When you get to be my age, you can comment on such things."

"I-I didn't mean to offend."

She laughed. "Reginald, I was just teasing you. What you need is a tutor. Perhaps one of the male crew members? I can talk to Command Riker."

Horrified, Barclay imagined trying to talk to Commander Riker. "N-no! I don't feel comfortable discussing this matter with him."

"That's the problem. You don't feel comfortable talking to the crew because of your reputation. You need something that will relax you," she suggested.

"Do you have a suggestion?"

"How about the holodeck? There are dozens of good private counseling programs."

Barclay frowned. "Counselor Troi has limited my access. And it would be sliding, wouldn't it?"

Guinan shrugged. "You used the holodeck to hide from people. If you use it to reconnect, maybe it would help you in other ways." As if my magic, Councilor Troi entered ten-forward at that moment and sat at the bar. "Perhaps we can talk to her now."

Much to Barclay's surprise, Councilor Troi did approve on a limited basis. She said that self-help books could be very useful to a person trying to expand his horizons. His face had never been so red after the conversation, but he was glad to have a new form of therapy. He had trouble selecting the correct program until Guinan suggested that he used one of his heroes. It was someone he had never spoke to in the holodeck so he decided to give it a try.

As he stepped into the holodeck, it loaded the program. The black room with yellow stripes morphed into a room modeled after classic federation architecture with bright pastel colors. He sat at the table with the three dimensional chess set and said "Run program."

Captain James Tiberius Kirk appeared on the opposite chair. "Are we here for a game?"

This man was a legend through out the Federation. Sitting next to his image, Barclay tried to compose himself. "I'm here for training, sir."

Kirk nodded and examined his student. "Classified mission?"

"Yes, sir."

"Out with it then. I'm a very busy man."

"I'm not allowed to discuss the details, but I need to learn how to talk to women," Barclay said, nervous.

Kirk laughed. "Did Bones put you up to this?" He glanced around the recreation room. "Scotty, are you there?"

Barclay's entire head turned crimson. It was very difficult to breathe. "No, sir. You have quite the reputation as a lady's man. I was hoping you could share your experience with me. It is important for the mission."

Kirk realized that this was not a joke. He was an astute judge of character; being captain of the Enterprise required that. "Let me guess, your throat swells when you are around women. Your palm sweats. You stutter. Am I right?" Barclay nodded. "That's because you don't love women."

Barclay barely stuttered his protest. "I love women, sir."

"No, I know your type. You worship women. You adore them from afar. That's not love."

"I don't understand," Barclay protested.

Kirk leaned forward as though he were going to whisper a secret. "There's only one secret to talking to people. It's the same secret to command. You have to love them. I'm not talking about romantic love. I'm not talking about sealing them in a vacuum and worshiping them afar. You have to truly appreciate them for their virtues, for their faults, and for the small moments. I have a good crew. With them, I'd face the gates of hell. I've bonded with them. Spock and I play chess. McCoy secretly reads maudlin poetry. Scotty and I have a drink on occasion. Sulu and I fence. Uhura has the most beautiful singing voice. The secret is to let all of the people you care about have flaws. Everyone has the same doubts and fears that you do. Find what you have in common and work on that."

Barclay's eyes widened. Did Commander Riker have the same fears? Did Councilor Troi have doubts about her abilities? It seemed too amazing to comprehend. "Thank you for the advice, sir. I'll give a try."

Kirk nodded his approval. "On last thing, on occasion, I've found flowers work miracles."

"Yes, sir." Barclay glanced around the holodeck and smiled. "Computer end program."

The federation recreation room faded from view leaving him alone. Captain Kirk was nothing like he had expected from his reputation. Maybe reputations really didn't matter.