Author's Note:

Hello everyone! It has been so long since I have posted anything anywhere, I know, and for that I apologize. I put this story under the 'complete' category, for it seems as it has ended, and I truly forgot where I was going with it. If I eventually remember its original plot, I will put it back on 'In Progress' and continue it.

I have started writing – I know, unbelievable- and reviewing all my fanfics again, I hope to post something new soon, but for now I am going to post this chapter, which I rewrote – nothing too different, just trying to make it look better and less horribly written lol.

Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Bisco Hatori.

Ps.: WTH is going on with ? Why can't I divide my story properly? God dang it!

Kaoru sat on the usual chair he always sat on in the Host Club. He waited for his brother to follow suit and sit beside him, but apparently whatever he was talking to Haruhi about was more interesting… more important.

So he watched as Hikaru sat beside the girl and forgot about the princesses completely. The ones that were booked for them right now were already there, and, apparently, Kaoru would have to lead the show alone.

He looked down and sighed; this is the way it would be from now on. From now on, there would be no more Hikaru and Kaoru would have to cope with that. And, if he really wanted to face the facts, he needed to admit that it wasn't 'from now on'. He had seen Hiakru fall slowly, but steadily in love with the tomboy Haruhi.

Kaoru was already fighting his urge to cry, feebly attempting to smile, when suddenly one of the princesses asked a question that ruined what was left of his self-control.

"Kaoru-kun…Does it hurt to know that…that Hikaru may like Haruhi?" She asked a bit hesitant; her eyes showed pity for the broken redhead in front of her.

Kaoru looked up straight into her eyes - mouth open, eyes wide. Tears gathered and he tried, he really did try, to keep them there. But they fell regardless of his pathetic attempt of controlling his emotions. If one of the princesses noticed - it was obvious, it was true. Hikaru was in love with Fujioka Haruhi.

The truth hit Kaoru and all he could do was look elsewhere, somewhere that didn't show pity or sorrow, somewhere safe. But there was no such place…he would never be able to hide himself from the question of which the answer he knew all too well. Not wanting to face reality didn't mean it wasn't waiting for him to just open his eyes and accept it.

"It is the worst pain anyone could ever feel." he said without lying, without pretending. His voice sounded hoarse and low, the effort of talking without choking on the knot on his throat proving to be too much for Kaoru to bear.

It had not been long since he had found out that he loved his brother in the way they pretended. It took one look that Hikaru did not see, one not synchronized moment that broke Kaoru's heart.

It took losing him.

And from the first time she told them apart Kaoru's feelings became a blur, unclear to himself - until the day when Hikaru went out on that date.

That day, he awoke with a feeling he never felt before: jealousy. Even though he was happy to know his brother was finally able to live his life without depending on him, Kaoru realized just how forbidden his feelings for Hikaru were.

Hikaru's happiness had always come before his own, that he knew. In that day, however, he realized that the reasons for that had changed

Day by day his feelings grew stronger, sleeping in the same bed became a bigger torture, and pain was eating Kaoru from the inside. The pain in his heart made his breath come in quick pants and the tears in his eyes burned like acid. It made him want to stop breathing… stop living, or disappear for that matter, so he would never feel such pain again: the pain of being left behind - the pain of unrequited love.

Tears fell from his eyes without his consent and as he tried his best to contain them, he swore he would never lose control in public again, but here he was making a fool out of himself with his brother only meters away.

"Oh Kaoru, I am so sorry! I didn't mean for you to get so upset." The princess got up and sat near him in Hikaru's place. She offered him a tissue, which he refused. "Kaoru, it is okay, we understand: you can cry." At that moment, he noticed all princesses suddenly had gotten up and were around him with concern in their eyes.

"Let it out Kaoru: it's not good for you to keep it all inside," one of them said, as if she had the slightest clue of what it was like to be him now. As if she knew he wasn't lying anymore.

"I can't, if I do then I will never… I will never smile again," he whispered with the little voice he still possessed.

They all let out "awws" and their usual girlish squeals, because for them this was just another act. But for Kaoru this was the unbearable reality.

Hikaru was happily talking with Haruhi about commoner things. He never heard of a microwave and was really interested and curious about its purpose, maybe he would buy one after class and experiment with it at home.

Her princesses were yet to arrive so they had time. Well, she had time and he didn't, but he didn't really bother checking if the girls had already arrived or not - at least not until he heard a bunch of girlish squeals, not until Haruhi looked questioningly at the direction of where Kaoru was.

That is when he realized his princesses had been there for a while, and not only that, they were standing in a circle around Kaoru, completely blocking his brother from view. This started to worry Hikaru: what if they were attacking him? What could possibly make them all just pounce on his twin? Moreover, he was also sorry for leaving Kaoru alone, though he thought his brother should have just called him over.

He stood up and walked in the direction of where they were. He was not the only one who noticed the girls' unusual behavior. Kyouya had also stood up and was watching closely. All the other hosts and girls just watched with great anticipation, waiting for Hikaru's reaction.

"What's going on?" he asked and all the girls returned to their seats. They had doubled their sales that week and they were attending about six to nine girls per day.

They all avoided looking at him in the eye and the ones that weren't avoiding him were looking concernedly at Kaoru.

Hikaru sat on the chair beside his brother and looked at him. At first he was shocked. Kaoru's eyes were shut tight, his hands were closed into fists wrinkling his uniform, tears were shining at the corner of his eyes, and his face was glistening as well because of the tears that apparently had fallen from his eyes. Hikaru was used to the tears on the corners of his eyes, but he had never, ever, seen his brother truly cry at the Host Club.

Hikaru was worried, but he assumed, and truly hoped, this was just an improvement to their act, so he played along.

Putting one of his hands around Kaoru's waist and pushing him closer, he held Kaoru's chin, his brother seeming reluctant to even turn and look at him. When he finally opened his eyes amber orbs seemed to run from his stare, fixing themselves on a random spot on the ceiling or on the floor.

"Kaoru, look at me…" he said and his brother finally directed his gaze to his twin. "What's wrong? What happened?" He asked, real concern on his eyes. Kaoru smiled softly, ever so gently and replied with a sweet and low voice.

"I just miss you." he said simply, leaving Hikaru at a loss for words, for he had no idea what that meant exactly. They had not practiced that line, but being a very good actor he would reply in the best way he could.

He pulled Kaoru closer, as a sigh escaped his brother's parted lips.

"But I am right here Kaoru, I have always been." Kaoru took a deep breath and closed his eyes, a small tear slipping from them at the movement. Hikaru wondered how he managed to cry without putting eye drops in his eyes like he had always done.

"I just wish you could continue to be by my side." Hikaru was now pretty confused. This was beyond unusual. By now Kaoru should have just said a "Hikaru" in his cute uke whisper, but he was pushing this subject and Hikaru was rendered clueless of what to do.

"What are you talking about? I will always be by your side!" he said, not faking so much anymore. Kaoru just sighed.

"I know you will… until the day you find a way to live without me that is." Kaoru said and Hikaru found himself even more confused if that was even possible. The princesses were tearing up and some of them were actually crying, but he didn't care about them right now.

"I can never live without Kaoru, never." he said and for the first time, he hugged his brother on the Host Club. They always held each other, but never hugged: it made it impossible for the princesses to see both of their reactions. Still, since Kaoru seemed to be improvising, there was nothing to be done but go with it and hope everything was alright.

Kaoru sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the comfort of Hikaru's arms wrapped around his waist, enjoying the feel of Hikaru's breath on the crook of his neck, of everything that was Hikaru.

"Hikaru…" he whispered and heard the girlish squeals the princesses let out; he also heard a few thumps from the ones that had fainted. He knew that this had been the most romantic and sweet "performance" they had ever made. If only they knew Kaoru wasn't faking at all.

The rest of the act was normal, as per usual. Kaoru knew he had said and done too much; he had lost control and for that he would not forgive himself. Thank God his brother was blind and didn't notice a thing. He just went along and assumed that was part of the act and that Kaoru decided to change things a little.

Finally, after three long hours, the last girl left and they could go home. But Kyouya stopped them before they could reach the door.

"Congratulations. This was the best sale you ever made, and it also doubled your number of costumers. Keep it up." He said, and the twins turned, ready to leave. "I am not finished." They stopped, eyebrows rising in wonder as to what else Kyoya had to say after such a good day.

Steel grey eyes found amber ones and Kaoru suppressed a shiver. Kyoya knew. The Shadow King knew everything. He waited for the harsh words that were sure to be spoken, but was surprised when his eyes softened and he simply said,

"Don't over exert yourself next time, Kaoru. If you haven't practiced your act, come talk to me. Your numbers have been steadily growing, I will understand if you eventually need a day off." He stated in a gentle voice, his unwavering stare filled with meaning. Kaoru simply nodded, a small smile gracing his features. Hikaru looked from to the other, completely confused.

The young twin turned to – finally- leave, having long ago given up on waiting for his older brother, knowing he would be more than glad to accompany Haruhi home.

"Hey Kaoru, wait up! Where did you come up with that act today?" Hikaru asked, and Kaoru turned to answer, his heart warming at the sight of his puzzled brother. If only he knew.

Kaoru smiled at him. And then it was when he saw – Kaoru's smile and expression were the same now as it was during their act: that same sweet expression, the one he always displayed in the Host Club. Shouldn't he be back to normal now? The Host Club had ended for the day after all.

"I just thought it would be a nice change. Kyouya was happy." But Hikaru barely listened to what Kaoru said. Something was wrong with his smile, something was wrong with him. If their act was just an act, and everything was just for show… then why was Kaoru looking at him the same way he did during their act?

Author's Note: Well, that is it! Some vocabulary changes, some small things adapted. Hopefully it is better than it was before. Hopefully you have liked it!