I do not owe the X-men and this id dedicated to all the fine people on the comment room at WolverineandJubilee.com




Artical from The Danish Daily News.


The Johnson Institute is the home of one of the many treatment centres for people suffering from Jackmansitis. I am here today to interview Doctor Laege, one of the top specialists of this disease.

We have been allowed to follow Dr. Laege around for a day as he makes his daily rounds, as long as we agreed not to reveal any of the patients' real names. They have all been given aliases in this article.

"I have been studying this disease since it first broke out in Australia." The Doctor tells me. "It baffled scientist because it only seems to affect young women."

"No men where affected?"

"There you ask a good question, there are currently being made some research and it seems, and bare in mind that this is not scientifically proved, that in rare cases men might get it to."

"Are there any males here?"

"No not at the moment."

He says this as he walks down the long light hall to make his first rounds. In the first room is a young girl about twelve years old. The walls of the room are covered with pictures and posters of various male movie stars. The girl gives us a smile and turns her attention back to the posters.

Dr. Laege explains; "this patient is still in the early stages of Jacmansitis. It is our hope to change the course of the disease by turning her attention towards other moviestars. She still have half an hour left of looking and meditating, we have had great result with Russel Crowe pictures and…" He stops in front of a picture of a bearded Crowe, then calls for a nurse who removes it.

"Why was that picture removed?" I notice the twelve-year-olds eyes watching the scene.

"We try to avoid pictures that may remind the patient of Jackman; In this case the beard is like the role he played in X-Men. It is the same reason no one is allowed to use the word Darling or smoke cigars near the patients."

"I see."

Dr. Laege stops to fill out some forms and then explains the stages of the disease.

"Normally it starts when the young woman sees the movie X-Men for the first time. She will feel an immediate reaction, causing her to want to see it over and over again, in extreme cases the woman will watch it alone when she has seen it with everyone else she knows. Then as the movie gets available to video she buys the tape so she can watch it at home."

"Why doesn't the family interfere?"

"Many of these women are aware of their unhealthy obsession and hides it from their close ones. By the time they can quote the movie we say they are in stage one."

As he says this a nurse leaves a room and we hear the patient say in a false southern accent "but ah don't want you to leaaave" a young girl looks out the door and cling to cardboard dog tags she's wearing in a string around her neck. The doctor walks her back to her room and continues;

"In stage two of the disease, the woman will begin to look for pictures off Jackman on the net and eventually she discovers fanfiction. In stage three She settles down in a comment room where she finds more of her own kind."

"fanfic being stories about Wolverine, often of a sexual nature?"

"Yes the patient will read anything she can get her hands on. On this stage there is still hope off curing the patient."

We enter a new room, to my surprise the patient, We will reefer to her here as ´Lateo`,is sitting in front of a computer. Dr. Laege gives her a sad look.

"We haven't been able to cure Lateo, She was already in stage four, when they brought her in."

I look over Lateo´s shoulder she is writing something.

"In stage four the patient writes her own fanfiction about Wolverine. Lateo´s case was especially bad she wrote long ramblings on the subject of Wolverines ass." He whispers the last word but Lateo hears him anyway. Her eyes glaze over and a happy smile appears on her face.

"Ahhh his ass…"She mutters.

The doctor looks sad and pads her on the head. Now she is in stage five, where the patient build her own homepage and names it after her self. Lateo here build a link archive and called it Lateo´s Lair, she showed signs of feeling proud about it.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" It is shocking to see such a young woman already lost.

"No, the hard part of my job to know when to let go, now all we can do is give her internet access so she doesn't suffer and let her be with her own kind."

The docter makes the rest of his rounds and after a cup of coffee I leave, it has been a long day and many thoughts run through my mind as I leave the Institute.




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