Career Day!
Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.
Author's Notes: I am just writing this story to take a little break in between chapters of my other main project. I got this idea a couple weeks back and it has just kept growing. Fear not, I shall be back on track with the other story soon, I just needed to change gears for a bit.
This is a piece of lighthearted insanity that has nothing to do with the events in my story Is This Love That I'm Feeling? Well, they are both Azumanga Daioh, but you know what I mean. Currently, I plan this to be about two chapters long, perhaps three, but I could add on additional short story arcs later if I get bored.
Warnings: A little swearing, Ohyama is a jerk because he turns everything anyone says into something dirty, and any shoujo-ai-ness is just here for comedy, as this in not a romance story.
Chapter One - A Surprise Make Up Test
Yukari was late to class again today. She was more than late. In fact the chimes had sounded almost half an hour ago and she was still nowhere around. The students were doing pretty much anything they wanted. Several kids were looking out the window; others were sitting and chatting with their friends. Three boys were drawing their favorite anime warriors on the chalk board, preparing for the ultimate battle.
Chihiro and her best friend, a lovely girl with two long black braids, were bored out of their minds. Chihiro had opened up her purse and dumped the contents onto her desk.
"What are you looking for?" asked the Braid Maiden.
"Anything even remotely entertaining. Want some gum?" Chihiro responded while offering up a little box of chewing gum squares.
"No thanks. Here," she replied, pouring out her purse onto the desk as well.
Chihiro brightened up with this new treasure trove unveiled. "Hey, you've got some makeup in here! What for?"
"Oh, I had to go over to my grandmother's house last weekend. It was this big family deal. Anyhow, she bought all this for me. I just forgot to put it away at home. It's not like I'll ever get much chance to use it."
"Well you do now. Pucker up, baby, cuz you are getting some lipstick!" Chihiro grinned while opening up the tube of light pink lipstick and giving it a twist.
This attracted the attention of a few of the other girls sitting near them, namely Chiyo Mihama and Koyomi Mizuhara. Also several other girls came over for whom I don't plan to invent names. Pretty Yet Nameless Girls one through six, in case you really care. Heh, I'll just say PYNG-1 or PYNG-2 if it ever comes up.
Within five minutes, lipstick, blush and mascara were making their marks on the braided friend of Chihiro, and generally the consensus of the observing girls was... Chihiro had no idea how to put on makeup. Oddly, this makeup disaster attracted even more attention from some of the other girls in the class who wanted to either give their advice or just sit on the sidelines and watch. Kagura and Tomo joined in the observations along with a bunch of other PYNGs.
Several girls opened up their bags and began their own personal make-up work. Stuff that they carried but would not normally wear in class. Boredom is a powerful motivator. Besides, once you see the first lemming run over the cliff, you just gotta follow.
"No, no. Yer doin' that all wrong," came a disapproving voice from behind them. Chihiro and the others turned to see who was voicing their dissent and were surprised to see it was... Osaka.
"Ayumu Kasuga?!" Chihiro snorted. "What on earth do you know about make-up, of all people?"
"More than you, it would seem. Watch what yer doin! Yer gonna poke her eye out like that! And ya don't put on the mascara until the eyeliner is done, otherwise ya clump the eyelashes and ya gotta do 'em over."
The Braid Maiden, Tomo, Kagura and several PYNGs all said, "Ohhh" simultaneously.
Chihiro admitted her errors and said, "Well, could you do better? You want to fix it?"
Osaka looked at the girls face and shook her head. "Not unless she wants to go wash all this stuff off, then I will."
Kagura jumped forward, "Oh! Do me! Do me first!"
(Across the room, Ohyama said to a buddy of his, "That was exactly what she said in my dream last night.")
Ayumu looked at Kagura, then at the assortment of makeup. She pinched her lips together and slowly shook her head. "Ummm, I'm sorry Kagura. These colors are all wrong for you. You have such a pretty tan, these wouldn't be no good. You need a little bit redder lipstick and a darker blush, otherwise you'd end up with odd pale lookin' cheeks and your lips would be invisible. Unless yer one of those tan girls that wants ta wear white-ish lipstick. But we don't have none of that here neither."
Tomo said, "Oh wow Osaka, you almost sound like you're not completely stupid! That's amazing!"
Osaka rubbed her forehead with her middle finger, "Yeah, well I do remember some things sometime."
Chiyo-chan asked, "How did you learn about makeup?"
"Oh, my mom let's me practice some times. She has got a huge make-up kit. All kinds of brushes and colors and pretty lipsticks. It's like a whole shop."
"Wow," said Yomi, "That's huge!"
(Across the room, Ohyama said to a buddy of his, "That was exactly what she said in my dream last night.")
Chiyo-chan gazed up at her friend, "So, will you put make-up on me? I've never worn any make-up before, although my mom once bought me a berry flavored Chap Stick. Oh! And this one time my friend and I both ate blue popsicles and it made our lips and tongue all blue!"
Osaka nodded. "I get that all time too. But I don't think it would look right with a lot of make up on ya, Chiyo-chan. Besides, these colors are good for her," she said pointing at the Braid Maiden, "and I suppose..." she looked around the room, "they would look good on..." she spotted a girl sitting by herself, "Sakaki."
All eyes turned to the one lone girl still sitting by the window, gazing out at the empty school yard. A sudden migration of female students began as the conversation moved itself across the classroom to surround the tall beauty.
At first, Sakaki didn't even notice that anything had changed. She did seem a bit surprised to notice so many people on this side of the classroom, but when it became clear that SHE was the center of the attention of every girl in class 3-3, she took on the desperate look of a trapped animal.
"Wh-wh-what's going on here?" she asked, clutching at the sides of her desk.
"Yo! Sakaki!" Tomo yelled out. "You are going to be the experimental subject of Osaka's face-painting contest! Just sit down and relax!" she said with an evil chuckle, rubbing her hands together.
The tall girl grabbed up her bookbag and made ready to run for the classroom door, but it seemed she would have to mow down quite a few girls between here and there. Nervous perspiration broke out on her forehead.
Yomi spoke up, "Sakaki, don't let that moron Tomo get you upset. We are just talking about some make-up. And Osaka... well, she really seems to know what she is talking about."
Sakaki shook her head emphatically, her long gorgeous locks of hair tumbling and swaying behind her. "No. No, I don't think so."
Osaka said, "It's ok Sakaki. It's not much. Just a little bit of make-up for some highlights. That's all."
Chihiro stepped forward, pulling her friend with her, who by now looked like some braided reject from the insane clown school of bad makeup. "We were just practicing a few things and Osaka said she wanted to try too."
Sakaki's ass thumped up against the window as she tried to back up further but had nowhere to go. "No, really, thanks a lot but..."
Osaka cast her gaze to the ground and spoke slowly. "That's ok, Sakaki-san. I understand. You gots no reason to trust me. I know... I know I wouldn't never do nothing bad to you on purpose, but... I understand."
The silence that filled the room was deafening as Osaka turned away and headed back to her desk. The roomful of girls watched her go and then turned their gaze back on Sakaki. She swallowed hard. I... I have nothing to feel guilty for... she thought.
Chiyo said, "Miss Sakaki? Are you sure you wouldn't let Miss Osaka put just a little make-up on you? You know that you can wash it off if you don't like it. I think you would have fun. It would be cute."
Cute? Chi- Chiyo-chan thinks it would be cute?! She felt her will dissolve completely under the power of Chiyo's happy smile.
"Ummm, ok. But just a little. And nothing that goes near my eyes. Ok?"
A cheer went up from the girls as they congratulated Sakaki on her bravery (suddenly able to admit that the prospect of Osaka wielding make-up might actually turn out to be a scary experience). Chiyo gave Sakaki a thank-you hug as she sat in her chair once more, slowly releasing the death grip she had on her book bag. Although... the dash to the door could still be possible...
However, it seemed that Osaka had already drifted off to sleep at her desk, despite the commotion. Once Yomi woke her up, she wasn't even sure what they wanted or what Sakaki had to do with any of it. It didn't take too long to remind her of the task at hand and she came back over to the desks by the window.
Osaka took a look at Sakaki's face and said, "Ok. Chihiro, if you could bring me that stuff you was working with, let's see what we can do."
Sakaki said nervously, "Allright. I'll... I'll do it, but just try not to get too much of that gunk all over my face. Promise?"
(Across the room, Ohyama said to a buddy of his, "That was exactly what she said in my dream last night.")
Ayumu smiled, "Don't worry about it. Here, you can hold on ta my handkerchief. If ya don't like it, we can stop and take it off at any time."
The circle of girls closed in as Osaka began whisking at the light powder in a flat box with a large brush. She looked at Sakaki's face closely as she began. "You don't normally use much make-up, do you?"
Sakaki blushed and stammered, "What? Why? Does something look wrong, or did I-?"
"No, no," Osaka interrupted. "I just meant your skin is so smooth and clear. You have a clean and fresh look to your skin," she smiled. Several of the girls around her, including those that Sakaki considered her best friends, nodded in agreement.
The boys in the class at first were interested, simply because it was Sakaki. However they couldn't see much from a distance and none of them wanted to get any closer. Eventually they began comparing it to a surgery, as Osaka held out her hand for tweezers and a girl beside her would slap a pair into her hand. Then Osaka had some long pointy black thing going across the top of Sakaki's eye and the boys cringed back in horror. The various implements of surgery or implements of doom looked quite menacing and most of the guys went back to reading Manga, orchestrating the final battle for Earth on the black board, or simply watching a class full of pretty girls bending over to see Sakaki who was lost in the middle of the huddle.
Eventually, Osaka said she was done. "There isn't much more really to do, even if I had all of my mom's stuff. I think ya look good. Of course, I thought you looked good when we started too."
There was a collective sigh from the girls in the class. Sakaki was absolutely stunning. The cosmetics had only highlighted her already beautiful face and now she seemed to shine with a soft light. A pale pink lipstick made her lips shine and glisten and her eyebrows were perfectly smooth.
Like the relentless turning of the tide, they faced Osaka and demanded to be next in line. "Me! ME! No, do me next please!" the choir of girls cried out to her.
(Across the room, Ohyama got punched by several of his friends for trying to repeat his same stupid line one time too many.)
Miss Yukari opened the classroom door and walked in. "Sorry I'm a couple minutes late!" she said as the school chimes signaled the end of first period. She dropped her stack of books onto her desk with a thud. "Man, one little argument and she won't drive me to work. My feet are killing me. I had to stand for that bus for fifteen minutes, then that old guy grabbed my ass when I was getting off. I woulda smacked him one if he wasn't a senior citizen. Well, if I could have known which one it was. Of course it mighta been that cute guy. Heh heh. Yep, I still got it goin on," she grinned to no one in particular.
"Well, let's quit wasting time kids and get right to OH MY GOD!" she screamed, pointing at Chihiro's friend. She walked straight up to her and grabbed a braid in each hand, lifting the girl to a standing position. "What the hell happened to your face? Did you lose a fight? No? Is that make-up? Did you lose a bet? Oh, I know. Were you trying to put your make-up on in the dark while all hung over and a still little buzzed from the night before? Man I hate that. Oh quit crying and go wash your face."
She looked around at the class to assess the damages as the girl with braids scampered out the door in tears. "Wow, I show up five minutes late and the place goes to hell. What have you kids been doing?"
Chiyo said, "We were just experimenting a little with some make-up, that's all. It was very educational."
"Well, education is my middle name, so I am glad you kept hard at work while I was slightly delayed. So what was the deal with that whats-her-name then, some kind of experiment gone bad?"
"Um," Chiyo said, "I guess you could say that. See, that was when we first started and Osaka said..."
"Osaka?! Ah hahahahaha! Now it all makes sense. Osaka, did you put a little face paint on your friend today?"
"Yes, ma'am." Osaka replied.
"Girls, there is a right way to do some things, and a wrong way. I hope you all learned from Osaka's mistakes," Yukari said with her hands on her hips.
Tomo raised her hand and spoke up, "Miss Yukari? Actually, Osaka did the makeup on Sakaki. Check it out."
"WHAT? Not Sakaki!" The language teacher shot over to Sakaki's desk, where the tall student was leaning her head down in embarrassment from all the attention she had been receiving. "What did she do to you?"
Slowly, Sakaki lifted her eyes up to meet Miss Yukari's and her hair fell back from her face. Yukari dropped to her knees while grabbing Sakaki's hand and cried out, "OH MY GOD! Will you go out with me?"
Silence fell over the classroom as Yukari slowly realized her slight error. She stood up, pulling Sakaki to her feet. "What I meant was, You WILL go out with me to the hall, young lady, for you have broken the dress code by wearing make-up in class. Go stand in the hall. Yeah. That's what I meant. Now go." she said while pointing.
As Sakaki stepped out into the hall, Yukari collapsed onto her desk and began fanning herself with a stack of papers. "Oh my god, she is so hot in here. I mean, IT is so hot in here. Open a damn window somebody."
She leaned back in her seat and muttered to herself, "And here I always thought that Kaorin chick was a total freak. Thank God she wasn't here to see this. I think her head would have exploded."
Then she sat up straight and addressed the class, "Oh crap, before I forget: For those of you who don't know, this week is Career Week. We will be having a few visitors who will come into our classrooms and explain their profession. They may have a short speech or something prepared, they may have some little exhibit. I dunno. But once they are done, the floor is open for questions. Be polite or I'll bash you one, once they get outta sight.
"Some of you already know about this because I sent you all home last month with the invitations. A few of your parents have filled them out and will be coming to demonstrate or explain their jobs for the class. In fact, one of them will be here tomorrow."
"Who?" Tomo asked while raising her hand.
"Uhhh, I forget. Lemme see." she shuffled through a stack of papers. "Oh yeah. Oujiro Kasuga. Osaka's dad."
A/N - In America, I had Career Day when I was in HS. Well, in Japan it's like whole final year of High School is geared toward entrance exams and choosing your career. I don't know if they have any one "Career Day" like we did, but I am making this stuff up as I go. So in this story, they have a week long event that has several different people presenting things about the workplace. Some will be obvious. "I am a bus driver. I drive a bus," and maybe hand out bus maps and stickers and such.
Other people will have... let us say... a bit stranger career choices. Now, which do you think Osaka's dad will be? Normal or strange?