Author's Note: This is a new story. What if Logan had gone missing after he jumped off the cliff at the infamous Life and Death Brigade event? What if everyone had thought he had died? What if Rory blamed herself for his death? What if five years later Logan wakes up from a coma and comes back looking for Rory only to discover she is engaged to another man? Rogan. All of my chapters will be names of songs. I suggest you listen to the songs along with the chapter. My first chapter is entitled "Tears and Rain" by James Blunt.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls

Chapter 1

Tears and Rain

It was a dark and gloomy Sunday. It was raining, but not to hard and it was chilly outside. The weather was perfect for today. Today was the day Rory Gilmore had been dreading for almost a week. Today was the funeral for Logan Elias Huntzberger. The only man Rory had ever truly loved and it was all her fault that he was dead. She never even got to say goodbye.

The funeral procession was gathering at the cemetery where they would bury an empty casket under his name, they never did find his body. Rory numbly took a seat next to her mother in the back of the service. She didn't listen to a word the priest was saying. She already knew what he would be saying. He would be telling everyone what a wonderful person Logan was, and how it wasn't his time to go yet. Rory already knew these things already. She didn't need to be reminded of it.

Rory hugged her body tightly. She was so cold. She surveyed the area and shook her head. Half of these people didn't even know Logan and yet they were crying. She would have been crying too, if she hadn't used all of her tears up earlier this week. She hadn't stopped crying since Colin had called her with the news that fateful night. Last night she had finally used up all of her tears, at least that's what she had thought. Tears welled up in her eyes again as she thought of him. God she missed him. The way he smelled, the way his hair felt when she ran her hands through it, and the way the corners of his mouth turned up forming his trademark smirk. The thing she missed the most was the way she felt when he held her in his arms. She had never felt safer then when he was holding her in his arms. She could still hear the rhythmic pounding of his heart against her ear.

Rory let out another sob and leaned forward. She felt nauseous. She never even got to say goodbye. The last time she had seen him she was trying to punish him. She had acted so distant. She should have stopped him from going on this obviously dangerous stunt, but instead she let him walk out. She didn't even say goodbye. She had been mad at him at the time, but since then she had forgiven him. When he came home she was going to tell him, but she never got the chance. He was dead and he wasn't coming back. Why hadn't she stopped him?

She kept replaying the scene over and over in her head. He was packing his things and she was standing seven feet away from him with her arms crossed. He had told her something, but she couldn't remember the exact words and then he left. The memory was so vivid. Rory couldn't believe that was how she was going to remember their last time together. He had died thinking that Rory had been mad at him. Why couldn't she have forgiven him a little bit sooner? Even if it meant she had only gotten to be with him for one more second. Ever since she had found out there had been a constant tugging at her heart that wouldn't go away. She had killed him, because she hadn't stopped him. This funeral, all the pain that everyone was feeling was all because of her. It was because she was trying to punish him. God, why had she been so stupid?

Rory tried to wipe away her tears, but gave up when they were replaced with fresh ones.

"It'll be okay," she heard a familiar voice say softly. Rory's head snapped up and she noticed everyone had left, everyone except for the person standing in front of her offering her his handkerchief. Rory shook her head.
"No Colin, it won't," she said through sobs. Colin sat down beside her. Rory looked over at him weakly. He looked worn out and older. Like he was going through the same thing Rory was. "I'm sorry." Colin looked over at her surprised.

"Why are you sorry?"

"It's all my fault," she said adverting her eyes to the ground. Colin lifted her head up so her eyes were level with his.

"No it's not," he said firmly. Rory shook her head.

"Yes it is I let him go. I didn't even try to stop him. I was so cold. I just let him walk out that door without even saying goodbye," Rory rambled. The tears were coming back now, and Rory didn't even try to stop them. She was so tired; tired of crying, tired of feeling guilty, and tired of the stupid tugging feeling at her heart that just wouldn't stop. Colin shook his head.
"It's not your fault. If it's any ones fault its mine. I knew he had had too much to drink. I knew he was feeling crappy about his relationship with you. I knew it was a bad idea for him to make that jump and yet I let him do it anyway. I let him plunge to his death without a second thought. We pushed him to do it Rory. Me and the members of the stupid Life and Death brigade killed Logan. I wouldn't be surprised if this was the end of that stupid society. It should be. We were just being stupid." Rory didn't argue with him.

Even though she knew it was her fault she also knew it was the Life and Death Brigades fault. If Logan hadn't been a part of it, then he would be here now. She would be safe in his arms, but instead she felt cold and alone and she knew that feeling wasn't going away anytime soon. After a couple minutes of silence, Colin left, leaving Rory all alone. Not that she minded. She would be alone for the rest of her life. She felt completely empty without him.

The day Logan died she died as well and just like him, she wasn't coming back. She never even got to say goodbye.

Author's Note: Did you like it? Should I continue? Leave a review so I know what I should do? I probably won't update this too much until I'm done with my other story, but I hope you liked it.