Disclaimer: Of course I don't own this. Duh. Stephanie Meyer does!

This is my first fanfic, so reviews and suggestions are much appreciated. I used the song "Good Enough" by Evanescence as the inspiration for this, and incorporated it as well. This will probably be a oneshot, though I do have an idea for another chapter if you like it. Thanks so much!

- Shannon -

Good Enough

Loopholes, I thought suddenly. It has been one year since my Edward – no, rephrase – since Edward left, and it has taken me this long to realize that I can give him what he wants from me. Through the loopholes. And so, I will do this. For Edward.

Under your spell again

I can't say no to you

Crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand

I can't say no to you

Stumbling along through the woods, I try desperately to find my way to the meadow. I need to be there, one last time, and it is the perfect place to fulfill Edward's wish: the place where he fulfilled mine, once upon a time.

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly

Now I can't let go of this dream

I can't breathe but I feel

Good Enough

I feel good enough for you

For the longest time, I have felt that Edward had trapped me in my promise. He wanted me to forget him, forget all the memories and all my love. But he also made me promise to take care of myself, so that I wouldn't hurt Charlie. And I have been taking care of myself, to the extent of staying alive. Sure, maybe the motorcycles and the cliff diving has been a real risk; But I haven't been trying to die. Until now, that is.

Drink up sweet decadence

I can't say no to you

And I've completely lost myself

And I don't mind

I can't say no to you

In the last month, I really changed. I have stopped the recklessness, even though it means giving up his voice. And even though the hole is still there, threatening to rip me apart from the inside, it no longer hurts to say or hear his name. I am too far gone now; I have a plan.

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely

Now I can't let go of this dream

Can't believe that I feel

Good Enough

I feel good enough

It's been such a long time coming

But I feel good

If I can do this, use my loophole, I will finally be good enough to grant Edward something he wants. Me, little imperfect Bella, can give him something. And so, once I reached the meadow, I began to prepare. I lit candles in the dark, and spread a blanket on the grass. I almost laughed at how my meadow looked: like I was on a date. But I kind of am, in a way. A date with destiny; a date with death. As I lay back on the blanket and finger the bottle of poison in my hands, I wonder briefly if anyone is coming to stop me. Surely Alice will have had a vision by now, and even though Edward is not coming, she might be. We were best friends, like sisters; but no, of course she wasn't coming. They had all left. Every Cullen had decided that they didn't want weak little Bella around.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall

Pour real life down on me

'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good

Enough

Am I good enough for you to love me too?

My watch alarm is going off, waking me from my disturbed slumber; it is finally time. I am going to forget, for Edward, and since I am already hurting Charlie with my zombie-like existence, I figure that he will be better off too. I have finally found an escape from the pain, and it will make everyone happy. To make sure, I drink the entire bottle, and murmur into the air the final words to my favorite song, the only one I can bear to listen to, while I wait for death to claim me.

"So take care what you ask of me,

'Cause I can't say no."

I smile, and fulfill Edward's wish.