-Hellsing belong to Kota Hirano, I just own the plot of this story.-

Seras last light.

A disquieting night. The moon was shining, enlightening the landscape beneath. She sat on the roof of the Hellsing's mansion, waiting for something, anything, that could distract her from those thoughts. Shivers ran down her spine, making her feel uncomfortable. It was all so static; too calm, for her current mood. She'd preferred a wild and raging storm, one of those that risk to destroy everything in its path; it would have suited her mood more.

Crimson memories surfaced again in her mind: she was sure she'd have gone nuts if she had kept like this. She couldn't lie to herself, not anymore: she craved the blood. And most of all, she craved the blood he offered her more then once, but that she refused because of the precious humanity she thought she had to preserve. Because she wasn't monster, right? She was a vampire, but with a human heart. A heart that may have been dead, but yet alive thanks to her feelings.
Who was she fooling? What kind of feeling could she boast? Obedience for her Master? Fear for Sir Integra? Respect for Walter? Rare companionship for her comrades that however feared her? Were those the only things she could dare to call "feelings"?

What was the reason for staying there? She was there, but she didn't belong to that place.She felt like any passer-by watching the happy life of a happy family; it made her feel so lonely, so foreign to what there were around her. Her room was only a fictitious place where she could hide or rest when tired after the missions. Her coffin was a mere shell where she could pretend to sleep at night like a normal girl…like the human she was once. And the Hellsing mansion itself was a constant remember that she didn't share anything with those people. They weren't her family, they weren't her friends, they weren't her comrades. Her family, especially her father, left her when she was still young, and never came back. Life always takes away your dear ones, and never brings them back: that was the plain, cruel truth. She didn't possess anything and nothing possessed her, and so she didn't feel like caring for anyone there. What's the point in it? It'd be definitely useless. Surely, he'd never be there for her. He just cared for his Master, and himself. She was nobody to him; maybe only someone to laugh at for her weakness, and make fun of when there's nothing else to do. Yep, that had to be the truth; why be so harsh to her then? She always tried to do her best, still he despised her in her very being, she was damned sure.

And finally, lately she had had those agonizing sensations. She almost heard voices in her head, that told her to drink, drink and drink till suffocate in that red ocean, tasting the coppery liquid flowing down her throat in her every core.

She was going insane, yet she had never been more clear-headed; a moment she felt powerful the other she felt useless, her mood rapidly changing from overly happy to depressed. And of course neither the others nor he noticed. She wasn't sure how long could she resist the urge to drink human blood; till then she was still under her Master orders…and maybe she wasn't different than a ghoul, always doing another's will without control of themselves.

She was going down the abyss of darkness without anyone by her side to hold her hand; and so she'll just keep falling forever, alone. Now a weak light is making her way in the nocturne sky. In a few minutes, the sun will rise; and since she really doesn't anything to loose here… why shouldn't she enjoy a hot, relaxing sunbathe in this last, cold winter of her non-life?

AN: Well, I hope you'll get the end. Review please, you just have to click the button and write a few words…constructive criticism is welcome, flames a bit less.