A Friend Among Enemies

Chapter 12: On The Roof

Katie sat on the same bed she had disappeared from, feeling utterly spent. It had been a long day. Maybe time-travel had zapped all her energy. It sure felt that way. It had felt like hours before Katie had finally pieced together all that had happened while she'd been gone. She was startled to learn the war for Helm's Deep was over, and the journey to Isengard had already taken place. Time seemed to pass at the same speed while she had been away.

Eowyn and Aragorn had questioned her the most, while the others listened. Katie tried to be as vague as possible, not wanting to talk about her father and his death. It still hurt too much. Legolas had hardly spoken 10 words to her, just telling her it was good to see her. She was disappointed. It wasn't like she expected a declaration of love and a passionate embrace, but any embrace would have been fine. He hadn't even hugged her. Just stared at her with those deep, penetrating blue eyes of his. She could feel his gaze on her the entire time she stood there, making her feel self-conscious.

As she slipped on the nightgown someone had conveniently left for her to wear, she realized she was mad. Mad that he would ignore her. Mad that one night of sex had spoiled any hope of friendship between them. Mad that he had let it.

It hurt. It hurt more than she had thought possible. She thought after her father's death, there would be no more room for pain in her heart. She was wrong. The cool, impersonal way he had looked at her. The forced words. Refusing to touch her. It hurt a lot.

She had been sitting at the end of her bed, waiting, hoping he would come to her room. Before, he wouldn't have thought twice about knocking on her door and checking in on her. Now he would not come. She knew he wouldn't come.

She decided she would go to him.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she threw her cloak on over her nightgown and slipped on her flip-flops. She made sure the lantern in her room was snuffed out, then left, shutting the door softly behind her. She walked quietly down the hall, mindful of how late it was, wondering where Legolas was at.

The roof. She could see everywhere from there. Maybe if she went up there and looked around she would have a better clue as to where he was.

She walked the corridors by memory, left, right, then right again. Left, then straight until she was at the door leading to the roof. She had come up here a few times before when she was restless. Thankfully the door didn't squeak. She carefully shut it behind her and climbed up, then turned and went up a few more until the steps opened onto the large, slightly raised roof. It was a cloudy night, blocking the moon and covering everything in eerie shadows.

Katie walked over to the side and leaned on the ledge, looking across the city. She had no clue where Legolas would be. Knowing her luck, he had stopped by her room right after she had left. She sighed, a long, forlorn sound, then nearly jumped out of her skin when someone cleared their throat behind her.

She swung around, coming face to face with Legolas. Sucking in a deep breath, she tried to calm herself. She was just surprised, that was all. It had nothing to do with the sight of Legolas, looking handsome and more ethereal than usual in his hooded cloak. Of course it didn't.

"What are you doing here?" His soft voice floated on the breeze.

"I couldn't sleep." Katie whispered, feeling stung. They were finally alone and that was all he could say to her?

"Aren't you even glad I'm back?" The question was out before she could stop it.

Legolas turned away from her, looking out unto the night. "Why are you back?" He asked, avoiding the question.

"What do you mean why am I back? I told everyone about the choice Galadriel gave me. I choose to come back. Is that so hard to understand?" Katie knew how she sounded, but didn't care. His four words had cut into her very soul.

"Did you choose to leave?" He turned suddenly towards her and Katie could see the intensity in his eyes.

"No!" She was too startled by his question to say anything but the truth. "No," she repeated.

He turned away and Katie reached for him, grabbing his arm. "Legolas look at me," she breathed, trying to get him to face her.

He turned, and this time his eyes were carefully guarded.

"I didn't choose to go back." She spoke slowly, desperate for him to understand. He thought she had willingly left?

"I went to sleep here, and when I woke up, I was at my old house."

She didn't know what else to say, so she said what was in her heart. "I wouldn't have left without telling you. I wanted to come back. I missed you. I wanted to see you again."

His indifferent features gave no hint as to his feelings. "For how long?"

Katie blinked in confusion, trying to understand what he was asking. How long had she missed him?

"How long are you back before you leave again?" Legolas spoke curtly, demanding an answer.

"N-Never." She stammered, stunned at the question. "What I mean is I'll never go back. This is my home now. Galadriel made it clear that whatever I choose, it would be forever. For the rest of my life. I decided to come back here."

He stepped back, pulling away from her touch. "Why? Why choose here? Why not stay there?"

"Is that what this is about?" She whispered. "You wanting me to stay there?" Her voice rose with anger. "Well, I'm sorry Legolas, but it doesn't work like that. I made my choice. My life is here whether you like it or not."

"What about your life there?" He asked softly, making her feel like a fool for shouting.

"There is nothing there for me," Katie said faintly, turning away from him.

She sensed him turning, felt his gaze examining her. "What about your friends? What about your father?" He said gently.

Katie turned fully away from him, not wanting him to see the hurt she felt. She closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She didn't want his pity. She didn't need his pity. She wanted him. She needed him.

"Like I said, there is nothing there for me. My life is here now." She took several steps to leave, but was stopped by his hand on her arm.

"Tell me," he whispered his grip firm. "I see the sadness in your eyes. I hear it in your voice," he said when she didn't answer. "Tell me."

"Why?" Katie demanded, hurt and anger burning in her veins. "Why should I tell you?" Several tears escaped and made their way down her cheeks. "Who are you to me? A friend?" She shook her head savagely. "No friend would treat me the way you have treated me. Like a mistake, a nuisance, a burden. You have fulfilled your word to Elrond, and seen to my safety. I'm no longer your responsibility, so let me go." She ripped her arm from his grasp.

"Katie please, it is not like that," Legolas pleaded, standing there in the moonlight, breaking her heart.

"Then what is it like?" She chuckled bitterly. "Are you going to let me stay with the group? Do I get to go to Gondor?"

"I didn't think so," she said when he didn't answer. "When where you planning to tell me Legolas?"

Legolas turned away, looking distraught. "We don't even know if Gondor will ask for help. The King refuses to ride to their aid unless they do."

"The signal will come soon." Katie spoke dispassionately. "And when it does, you will leave me here, won't you?"

"Yes," he whispered. "But not for the reasons you think. Not to fulfill my duty. It is for your safety you must stay here. I will not allow you to risk your life."

"It's my life to risk," Katie protested. "You should not be allowed to have say in what I can and can't do. You are not my husband." This came out before she could stop it, and she was glad the darkness covered her flaming face.

"Indeed," Legolas spoke quietly, his voice hard. "Be that as it may, Aragorn and I have already agreed that you will stay in Edoras. It will not be safe for you in Gondor."

"And that's it? That's the final decision. There's no changing your mind?"

"There is no changing my mind."

Katie looked up at him for a long minute, studying his features, taking him in. His blue eyes were determined, but held a glimmer of some unknown emotion. Regret?

She looked away, knowing that couldn't be it. She let out a sigh. "Then I guess there's nothing left to say."

She walked away, wishing he'd stop her. When she reached the stairs, she turned, taking in the sight of him one more time. I love you Legolas. The words were on her lips, aching to be said. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't stand there and watch while he rejected her again.

"Goodbye Legolas," she spoke instead. Then she left.