Axel never thought much of life and death until he killed Vexen. He had been expecting to feel sick- hell, maybe even guilt. But he felt nothing. Nothing at all.
- - -
Watching the Organization grow did not interest him in the way it interested the others. Each new member looked the same. That dull, hungry look in their eyes. He could barely tell them apart from a rabid dog. They were often treated no better. Especially the musician boy. The poor thing was always bumbling about and getting in everyone's way. Axel felt sorry for him, or as sorry as he could get without a heart. Maybe that was why he first spoke with him. The fire mage doubted it, though. The reason he first greeted the boy was something very different.
The boy always smiled. Always. Never stopped. Even when the more senior members were being openly cruel. He just smiled and moved on, even played a song or two on that instrument of his. Axel wanted to know what made this boy tick. And why his eyes were so damned bright. Something separated him from the other members and by God! Axel would discover what it was.
"Hey," Axel greeted IX with what he hoped was a casual tone.
The boy turned, his vivid, aqua eyes peering up at the redhead.
"H-Hey…" A simple response with nothing to work with. Axel wanted to mentally kick the Nocturne.
Surprisingly, a very awkward, yet powerful friendship between two who had nothing besides themselves began that day. Two lost souls who clung to each other for warmth before the chill of a false existence.
- - -
He just arrived. The one who would fix their nonexistence. Their Key to Destiny. Axel didn't think much of him. Until he saw the child for himself. What he first noticed was his stance. His body language. Upright, tall, but with a weight upon him. The weight of twelve other souls, Axel assumed. Yet, as the child turned to regard him, all the fire mage's thoughts vanished. His eyes. His eyes. Oh god, his eyes.
Brilliant blue orbs of so much emotion, and yet, at the same time, a reflection of another. Axel's soul was pierced before the onslaught of such… Power.
"Hey," the child greeted, no emotion showing through, yet casual enough.
"H-Hey…" Axel responded, dumbfounded, no more words coming to him.
- - -
Something had gone wrong. Something had gone horribly wrong. It had tempted their Destiny away. Not only their chance to gain hearts, but also Axel's friend. The child had betrayed them all.
No, Roxas had not betrayed them. He had never been with them in the first place. That was not what was bothering Axel.
What bothered him was that Roxas had simply dropped off the face of the earth. Their Light was gone. Every world he went to, he wasn't there. He was beginning to lose hope. And that damned Kingdom Hearts just seemed to taunt him.
- - -
He had found Roxas. In some simulated backwater world of twilight. And Roxas hadn't remembered him! It hurt. It hurt as much as one without a heart could hurt. He would make him remember. Even if Roxas didn't want to. He needed him to remember. If he didn't… If he didn't… No. The fire mage refused to think of what would happen if Roxas didn't remember him.
- - -
They had fought. Roxas' eyes were filled to the brim with blood lust. But the fight was over. Axel had lost. Roxas wouldn't come back. He'd find Sora and leave the fire mage forever.
"Axel…" The former-Organization member interrupted his thoughts. The redhead's ears were deceiving him. Was that sorrow he heard in the boy's voice?
Glancing up, he smiled woefully and responded, "Let's meet again in the next life." There was no way to stop him from rejoining his Other now.
Roxas' voice was hoarse with sadness. Even Axel could hear it.
"Yea… I'll be waiting…."
Surrounding himself in Darkness, Axel looked away and whispered, "Silly."
He paused. The fire mage wanted to look at Roxas. Just this one last time. But he was scared of what he would see. Did Roxas really remember him? Or was he just feeling sympathy to an incomplete stranger, searching for his friend. Shaking, he raised his eyes, to witness his once-Destiny, his hope, his chance of gaining a heart. What he saw startled him.
It was those eyes. Those eyes full of so much reflected emotion. The eyes he saw when he first met the boy. And there was understanding.
Axel continued on, mournful for everything he knew that would happen because of Roxas' actions, "Just because you have a next life…." Leaving the sentence to hang, not able to finish it, he let himself be consumed by the darkness.
- - -
He had just overheard that Demyx was being sent to bring the keyblade boy back by force. Axel would not let one of his friends fade into darkness. Not again.
Lucky, he had found the musician right as he was about to step through a portal.
"Demyx!" he called, desperate, "It's a suicide mission. You do know that, right?"
The water mage turned and gave Axel a goofy grin, "I wouldn't be so sure. All I have to do is defeat the keyblade master, right? Doesn't sound hard. He only beat me before because I was just playing around." He waved his hand in the air, blowing the whole thing off like it wasn't a big deal.
Horrified at the fact that IX wasn't taking him seriously, he grabbed his shoulders, begging him to understand with his eyes. Giving a small shake on each word for emphases, Axel nearly shouted, "You are going to die. Are you crazy?"
The Nocturne looked away, his eyes finding the ground more interesting than Axel's truth. After a few moments that seemed like years, the musician looked up. Axel cringed.
A woeful expression, filled with horrors only one such as them could ever experience, graced his face. He responded, his voice near shaking with sorrow, "Axel… I've been crazy since the day I died. This is my only chance… Our only chance." He removed Axel's hands from his shoulders and backed away.
His mask returned, a goofy grin, lighting up the world of eternal night. Stepping back into the portal, his voice rang out his goodbye.
"Tomorrow, we'll have our hearts back for sure."
As Axel watched his last friend be consumed by the greedy darkness, he couldn't help but mourn for the death that was to come. The keyblade brat was going to pay dearly.
- - -
Why? Why did he do it? Why did he give up his very essence to save the boy who he had sworn revenge on not too long ago? The boy who had taken Roxas away from him. Who had taken Demyx away from him. Who had taken the rest of the Organization away from him. The boy who had taken away the only chance to gain his heart back away from him.
The keyblade master looked at Axel's dying form in disbelief.
"You're… fading away," a melancholy air hung to his words. Roxas would never express anything like that. Axel didn't want to see his face. He wanted the keyblade boy to leave. To go save his little girlfriend. To gain his happy ending. He was too much like Roxas, and yet, distinctly not. Axel did not want to be reminded.
Instead, the boy simply asked, "Axel… what were you trying to do…?"
If the fire mage had had a heart, he would have sobbed. But for some reason or another, all he could do was tell the truth. Maybe to give the boy some knowledge of this nonexistent being who was fading before his eyes. Maybe even get in touch with him, though he doubted.
"I wanted to see Roxas…" Axel missed the recognition that passed across the boy's face.
"He… Was the only one I liked…," the Nobody couldn't stop his out pouring of words. His out cry against his doom. "He made me feel… Like I had a heart."
Axel was glad of his tattoos. They represented the tears he wanted to shed.
"It's kinda funny…," Axel admitted, looking into the boy's eyes. Whispering, knowing his time was nearing an end, he confessed, "You make me feel… The same…" He didn't need to continue on. In that moment, he saw him. He saw Roxas. Staring sadly down at his dying form. Roxas understood. Nothing more needed to be said. Axel smiled weakly and closed his eyes. He could accept fate now.
His journey was over. He finally was able to rest. And soon, Roxas would join him. His promise seemed like years ago.
The embodiment of fire vanished out of existence, leaving a simple fragment of power to help the keyblade boy and Roxas on the rest of their journey.
- - -
It was dark.
He felt heavy. He felt terrified. He felt.
But after all that had happened, he was curious.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
What was that noise?
He opened his eyes and smiled.
It was astonishing.