Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Jak and Daxter, they belong to Naughty Dog and Sony. So don't sue, I'm a broke college kid anyways. You couldn't kick quarters out me if you tried.

Chapter Summary: I wrote this chapter after lulling over the thought that Mar was born before the Baron took over so he and Ashelin had to have interacted over the years right? In fact if the Baron was Damas's right hand man, Ashelin and the Kid must have been present in each others lives for quite some time. So on that note... why is it she and the Kid are never in so much as single scene through out all of Jak II? And after thinking that this is what I got. Kind of a weird first chapter, please bear with me as I try to put a theme on this monkey. Despite that hope you enjoy it, and as a disclaimer while there is a lot of Asheliness in the first chapter this story is still going to be mainly MarXJak.

The Human Condition

Chapter 1: Rainy Day Monologues

Ashelin's POV:

The sky was covered in red the night Haven City fell.

Come to think of it... everything was.

The sky.

The streets.

The people.

All red.

The fighting and gunfire lasted until morning, and it only stopped when every last shred of hope and drop of courage these people had washed down into the drains. The life and love in this place was bled out in a single day.

Now only a shell of a once great empire remains.

But I'll remember it till the day I die.

That night when the city turned red.

Hell... it's still too red.

Sliding her gun back into her holster, Ashelin leaned against the hard stone wall that led into the Underground.

Jak was late and people knew better than to make her wait. A small trickle fell from the sky and hit her nose.

Then another.

Then another.

As the rain came crashing down on her, Ashelin's painted mouth twisted into a frown.

Yeah, it was going to be one of those days.

Still, despite the weather Ashelin stayed where she was. He was in the base tonight.

And that alone was enough to make her feet turn to stone where she stood.

There wasn't much in this life that she would consider herself a coward when it came to, but the thought of seeing him made her insides churn. He was the one person she couldn't face. From outside the door she could hear the sweaty rustle of hands and the burly voices of men. Torn was probably in the middle of one of his famous lectures out to boost morale. Smirking she shook her head, imagining that half of the Underground probably preferred a stray KG bullet to one of his monologues. They tended to hurt less. Torn's speeches hit the skin like sandpaper and they rubbed you just the same way. Smiling the red head seeped into her thoughts, bringing a hand up to push away a soaked dreadlock from her eyes.

That was one of the things she liked about him though. His tight butt and the fact he was a whiz with paperwork helped too.

Her amusement was short lived however when the sound of an angry crocadog brought her back to fierce reality. From inside she could hear a freedom fighter's startled cry as he narrowly avoided getting bitten before someone managed to shove the beast into another room. There was no doubting it now... he was in there all right.

Mar...

He hated crowds... almost as much as he hated men carrying guns. It didn't really matter if they were wearing red or not.

People didn't need a excuse to try to kill one another anymore. And lately it had become a fine line between what was a hero and what was a monster in this city.

Hell, she wasn't even sure herself these days.

The rain plastered to her clothes now making her even more uncomfortable as they hugged her in all the wrong places.

It was freezing outside.

Where in blazes was Jak?

The woman quickly squeezed her arms to her body, her breath coming up in hot puffs as she stared out at the street. She was sure she'd give the young rebel hell when he finally decided to grace her with his presence but it was the other blond she couldn't stop thinking about.

Without the Shadow or Kor around... I bet the kid is crying again.

I can tell, even without having to set foot in the underground's base when he's upset. He hasn't spoken in almost a year, when they found him wandering around the slums after the fire it was obvious something had happened to him. Whether the smoke had destroyed his voice box or the mental trauma had gotten him, Mar just stopped speaking after that.

Funny... even now when he doesn't make a sound... I somehow know he's crying.

As a member of the guard, it had always been her duty to serve and protect the royal household. But there was a difference between duty and want. Because while she respected and admired the stern but gentle warrior king it had been his son she adored.

A part of me still aches for the time when I could go to him. When I would hear his voice call my name and I could wrap him in my arms and tell him I would protect him from all the monsters he'd ever have to worry about.

I swore as a member of the guard to protect him once.

But I couldn't protect him when he needed me the most... I couldn't protect him from the biggest monster of them all.

That's why I don't have dreams anymore... only plans.

Thanks to my father and my own weakness I don't deserve to be in Mar's life.

We both were too young. But in a sick sense, I was still the lucky one. While I lost my childhood and my faith that night, Mar lost everything.

In a single night my father managed to turn this city upside down. The people in this city had to pay for his arrogance not just with their lives.

They paid with their dreams, their hope...

Things like that don't exist anymore in Haven City.

It's safer to despair than to hope.

I think the Kid's the only one that's brave enough to do something as risky as hoping these days.

The Kid had gotten only a little taller and quite a lot thinner in these hard years but he was still the same Mar. Only his voice had disappeared and to where Ashelin feared not even time would reach.

He doesn't remember much.

Trauma can do that to a four year old.

But I think that it's that feeling, and the helplessness that comes with it that keeps him up at night crying in the dark long after every other soul in this city has gone to bed. Most people think he cries because he's trying to forget, but I know better.

He just wants to remember.

To lose someone you love is a scary thing, but to forget them is even worse.

Despite what he wants... I just want him to stay alive long enough for us to win this fight.

I've never prayed before, I'm not even really sure how. Faith in the Precusors or anything else is something the weak use to try to wallow through their own helplessness. I'm not that pathetic. I'll change my fate with my own two hands.

But if I did pray... hell... I'm not even sure what god would ever stop to listen to the prayers in this miserable place...

But if did... if I could believe someone out there would listen...

If anyone deserves to be happy again... let it be the kid. He's one of the only good things left in this world... one of the last things left to believe in.

"Kid!" Torn's angry voice snapped from inside the base. "Try to keep that mutt quiet, will ya? I've seen things being torn apart by Metal Heads that made less noise than that." Biting her lip Ashelin tried to keep her stony face tight as she listened to the clamour within. She couldn't blame the man, soliders didn't exactly make the best babysitters. Especially in times like these.

She herself honestly wouldn't have a clue what do with a kid if she ever had to be alone with one.

The mother hen type she was not.

Although Ashelin was pretty sure Mar was fairly adept at keeping out of people's way. He wasn't your ordinary kid, he never had been.

Squirt's not like other little boys. He's strong.

Heh. That's almost funny in this city.

Strong isn't a word pushed around in this hell hole too often these days, and most people wouldn't think to use it on a wide eyed kid barely old enough to tie his shoes. But you have to be strong to lose everything and still be able to smile like that.

And I don't think anyone can smile like he can.

He makes you want to believe that there is something out there worth fighting for.

She watched him from the shadows now. Far, far away so that she could never risk hurting him again. For the two years of his life he had been without his father, Ashelin had guarded Mar just as much as the Shadow or Kor had. Only she did it in the darkness where the others could be with him in the light.

But that was the price she told herself again and again she would pay.

His smile is what keeps me going, keeps me fighting day in and out as I live this twisted double life.

Because I see hope there.

Hope in this black, twisted little city when its supposed to be dead.

Somehow, someway I'll make amends for it all.

My blood took away everything that gave him happiness, and yet he still hopes... he still loves.

He loves enough even to forgive this city and the people who turned their backs on him

Enough to even forgive a sinful bastard like me.

She quickly wiped something out of her eye, blaming the rain as she let out a four letter curse. Tredging through all the crap the past had to offer wasn't going to get her any closer to winning this fight.

"Shit... I can't believe I let myself get so sentimental." She snarled to herself before taking one final look at the sky.

That blonde prick was going to get it when he finally decided to show up.

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